Bet on Yourself: How Self-Love & 1% Growth Create the Life You Dream

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Oh, what a.

What a juicy question.

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Hi there.

Welcome to this episode of your ultimate life, the podcast where we get to talk about how to create a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy by using your gifts, talents, and your life experience.

I have a special guest today, Yasmina Ellis.

Yasmeena, welcome to the show.

Hi, Kellen.

Thank you for having me on.

You're welcome.

So I said in our little intro before we started, I just wanted to do something different today.

I was thinking about it a little bit this morning, and I asked you what you'd been doing, and you said, you know, going with flow of life and hot yoga and grounding and being in open spaces and stuff.

Your ultimate life is.

Is an idea, but it's a very tangible, concrete thing.

So can you tell me.

And like always, I haven't given you any prep or warm up, so those.

Listen, this is all off the cuff, right?

What does it mean to you to live, like, an ultimate life?

Mm.

Well, what a.

What a juicy question.

I feel like you're.

To me, the ultimate life is a life where you wake up every day.

Or to me, where I wake up every day and I feel like I'm living a life that just feels so good.

Like, it feels alive, it feels flowy.

I feel excitement, I feel joy, I feel abundance.

I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

I feel of service.

And so when I said to you, Kellan, that I was currently in a surrender experiment in my life is, you know, I believe that we can have these dreams and we can have these visions and we can have these things that we want to create.

And at the same time, we also have the present moment, the right now.

How am I feeling right now?

How am I doing right now?

What does my body need right now?

What is my soul wanting to sing right now?

What am I being called to right now?

What energy is flowing and buzzing and alive and in my body?

And so in the past, I used to really have, you know, concrete goals and milestones that I would do this and this and this and set it all out.

And I feel like over the past couple years, have been coming a lot more into my feminine energy and my feminine flow and still holding ambitions, still holding desires while really acknowledging what I need in the present moment and then giving myself that because that's what's alive, most alive for me in that moment.

So that's fabulous.

And I love that answer.

And people are going to hear it and they're going to say, ooh, that sounds so good.

I want to have one.

And, you know, I'll have what she's having, right?

And then at the same time, there's going to be people, many, maybe some of the same people or others who say, yeah, that's all fine, except for I got to pay bills and I got to eat lunch and I got to pay rent and I got kids, maybe, or I got, you know, stuff's going on.

So let's.

Let's talk about some practical, you know, connection, connecting those things.

Because you have a set of skills, and so does every one of you.

Listening.

You have a set of skills.

Maybe you're using them and maybe you're not.

Maybe you're just selling one of them in the marketplace to make some money.

So tie some of that flowy.

What's in the moment.

What does my body need?

What feels right, what feels good?

To service, for example, I'm going to go through several things.

So tie that flowy.

Beautiful description.

Tie that to service.

So you're adding good to the world.

Okay, so how does me following what feels good, feels most alive, flowy, all of the wonderful, like, might sound a bit.

We.

We were nebulous to some people.

Things tied to service, easy.

If I'm lit up.

If my cup is full and I'm filling myself with energy every day, I'm filling myself with, you know, making sure that I get what I need for my health, right?

I'm doing some form of exercise that wakes up my body.

I get the stillness that I need.

Maybe I need to clear my mind through meditation.

Maybe that's what I need most right now.

I love dancing.

Do I feel like dancing right now?

Do I feel like creating?

Do I feel like expressing?

When you follow that aliveness, your cup is full.

When your cup is full, there is an overflow that is able to hit and help others.

It's just like, you know, when you go on the plane, there's a reason why they say, always put on your oxygen mask on before you try and put on anyone else's oxygen mask, even if it's your child.

Because the fact is, if.

If you don't put your oxygen mask on first, you're going to be flailing.

You're not going to be able to actually be in a position to help and be of service to your child or that person that you're going to trying to help, and then you both die.

Right.

In this dramatic scenario.

Right.

So if that's.

That's one simple thing.

If my cup is full.

If your cup is full.

Okay, good.

I like that.

So let's get to the.

A little bit more.

Rubber meets the road.

There's lots, and I would say easily over 80, 90% of people, and I use such a high percentage because, you know, I'm a coach.

I change people's lives in their whole universe.

But I also notice that maybe 1 in 20, which is 5%, are actually ready at a given moment to do the kind of work that it takes to live just like you described.

So what would you say to listeners right now that are saying, that sounds wonderful.

Yeah, but, like, what do they do to make even a step in that direction if they can't, like, go all the way to.

Whoa, that.

What, like, what's first?

Mm.

Mm.

Yeah, but.

Love the yeah, buts.

Yeah, but.

Yeah, but Bugs Bunny, Wabbit.

Wabbit.

Webbit.

I have been there.

I've said yeah, but so many times in my life, and I think, yeah, but is always an amazing opportunity to see, like, the butt is such a good place to see the gap.

It's such a good place to see.

Oh, I hear what Yasmeen is saying, and I want that.

That sounds amazing, but I have bills to pay.

But this, but that, but this, but that.

It's actually great.

Like, I'm just thinking of this right now, off the cuff.

But, like, I would write down all of those buts.

Like, literally write down every single reason that you're telling yourself why you can't have that thing.

All the practical things.

Family, money, time, whatever it is, and then all of the limiting beliefs.

I'm not enough.

I don't know how to do this.

I'm overweight, whatever it is.

And at least you have a clear picture then of everything that is standing in the way between you and the thing that you actually want.

And you can start taking from actions from.

From that place.

Something else I would say is.

Is, you know, maybe if.

If all of this sounds way too overwhelming for you, and you're just like, I just want a little bit of a better life.

You know, I've always been a big believer in the 1% every day.

Like, how can I.

How can I not just, like, conquer the entire day and, like, you know, like, have the most epic day?

But no, how can I just be 1% better than yesterday or 1% smarter?

1% healthier, 1% happier, 1% stronger.

If meditating for 10 minutes is too long, can I meditate for 5 minutes?

If meditating for 5 minutes is too long, can I Meditate for 1 minute?

Can I just do something very small and very simple to start building the habits that I want to build?

If doing 10 pushups is too much, can I just do one push up today and make that commitment to myself that every single day I'm getting 1% better?

I, I don't have time to read a whole book.

I'll read one page of a book of a skill that I'm interested in learning.

And that's how we kind of reduce overwhelm and start to set consistency and good habits to start actually stepping into the life that we're wanting to create.

So I love that and I agree.

1% adds up really fast because 90 days from now, like what is it?

We're recording this noodle of August and this is going to air in September.

But you know, Christmas is coming and it's going to come either way.

That's 100 days from then or 110 or something and that's 100% better and it's coming either way, you know, and so you can complain about it or lament or yab at yourself to death, or when Christmas gets here, you can give yourself a big present of being 100% better in one or two or three of those areas.

What a fabulous thing.

Okay, cool.

So that is a tie with some very practical steps into service.

Now I want to go to another tie in because the thing that most people have trouble with, like I work with a lot of clients that have owned businesses and they're trying to make more money, make more impact.

But I also work with some coaches who are, who have decided that they're going to be in the people encouragement business.

You know, where they go and help people do this and the problem is they're not really doing it for themselves.

And so they live in the lament of, you know, I know I can help people, but they're not really a product of the product so they don't bleed that air of success and they're still busy standing in their own way and yet they still have to eat.

So tie this now how you do this to cash so that they can have an idea of how one bubbly woo woo weirdo lovingly stated, gets to, gets to do what you said and live this effusive life directed by your feelings, even 1% at a time, and get paid which is we ask people to pay for coaching, whether it's business coaching or life coaching or whatever in money.

We don't pay and feel good tokens.

We pay in money.

So there has to be some tie.

So tie it to some money.

Absolutely.

I love that.

And also, I need to change my handle somewhere to lovingly woo woo weirdo.

I'm obsessed.

Thanks for that one, Kellen.

You're welcome.

In terms of cash.

Yeah.

I mean, there's many ways in which that ties to cash.

And it's similar ish to service.

Right.

But again, if I'm lit up, then you become a.

This is going to sound so woo woo to some of you, but, but like you literally become a magnet, right?

You become a magnet to abundance.

You come a.

You become a magnet to cash wanting to come into your life because you're not.

You're no longer scrambling, you're no longer in scarcity, you're no longer desperate.

If you tell yourself, I have everything I need within me now and around me now to create the life that I want.

God has given me everything that I need in this moment, then you are putting yourself in the seat of being a creator.

And when you put yourself in being the, in the, in the seat of being a creator and being someone who takes action and being someone who is proactive and productive in the world, the natural response to that is money.

If instead of sitting around being like, oh, no, I hate my life and it sucks and I have all of these excuses.

Excuses.

You're, you're, you're, you're, you're kind of trapping yourself in a way, and you're actually like, what happens when you're in that state or when I'm in that mind state?

What do I do?

Ugh, I don't want to do anything.

Ugh, this is just too hard.

I'm just gonna go on Instagram right now and laugh at some reels.

Right?

Okay.

Haha.

Funny.

I feel better.

But what have I done?

I've spent an hour consuming other people's content instead of creating something of my own.

Also, when you tap into your aliveness and you feel like, what is it?

What is something that.

What is in my highest excitement?

Like what is in my world?

Or what is something that would most excite me right now?

You know, you.

We all have desires, we all have skills, we all have things that we're naturally good at.

It's always good to take an inventory of what are the things that I'm good at.

Reach out to your friends, your close friends.

You who know you, your colleagues, your family, hey, what are some things that you think I'm really, really good at?

How have I actually helped you in your life?

And you can gather a bunch of data and be like, wow, I didn't even realize that this was something that came so naturally to me that can help others in such a big way.

If something helps others in a big way and it creates value and it creates impact, the natural response to that is money.

People want to pay you for skills that you don't even know that you are already helping people with and doing naturally.

And then that helps you create a business around the thing that you love.

Or, you know, that's.

That's another.

That's another tie to that form of aliveness.

So there are.

There are so many different ways that that money can come into this.

I guess one last thing that I'll say is, you know, if you follow that aliveness, if you allow yourself to sit and dream and think, okay, like, if anything is possible in your ultimate, most limitless life, right?

I could dream anything.

I could be anything.

I could have anything, I could do anything.

I could see, see anything.

Like, literally, you can create anything, right?

Whatever that passion, dream life is, when you hold that vision and you really feel into that and you really feel like, what would it be like to live that today?

Can I feel that in my body now?

Can I bring that frequency into my body now?

Then no matter what your life is today, you have a vision that you've created that gets you out of bed, that leaps you out of bed with excitement, that thinks, okay, I can do a few more things today, or just one more thing today that brings me closer to that vision.

And then every single day, you're coming from that frequency of excitement and you're getting closer and closer and closer to actually creating that life that feels as good as you want it to.

So you've said a couple of really important things, and I want to maybe repeat or rephrase just for emphasis.

Money follows value.

The natural response to value is people want some.

I have had people say to me, I will pay you just to be where you are.

I want to be in that presence.

And that's one way of saying exactly what you have said.

That aliveness, that fullness, that cup full you people love, your energy, your connectedness, your willingness to love and share.

I have a phrase in my.

My document, my holy constitution, that says, I am that every imagination I see and every desire I dream is manifest as I love, create, and serve.

And I have seen that over and over again.

And while we're using this sort of weird, weird to some language of creation, we use that language because that's what it is.

That is the language of that.

And you have the ability as a spiritual being in a physical body to emanate energy, which does stuff.

And we don't exactly know all the details of how it works.

And frankly, I don't care.

I know how to use it, and you can learn that, too.

So we've talked about service, We've talked about money.

And you're right, there are lots of ways.

And we've talked about some creating a business, finding your natural gifts and talents.

The thing that I think is the most valuable thing that we have, and I want your comment on this, is the story of our own becoming.

Because anyone that lives where you do of a desire to serve, fill your cup and, you know, give that energy, there is a story of that becoming because, as you mentioned, well, I used to this, I used to that.

And then there's a choice that we make to become 1% at a time, something different.

And the story of that becoming is the most powerful truth that we have.

Everything else that we talk about is kind of, you know, something over there, but the story of our being becoming is it.

So talk a little bit about the power of using you and someone else, the story of your own becoming to be that source of light, encouragement, energy, invitation, love, creation, whatever word you want to use.

I absolutely love that, Kellen, because it really is.

It's, you know, all we have really is this present moment.

And so it's like, who are we becoming in the next present moment and the present moment after that, and the present moment after that, and the many present moments, moments to come.

And that can take a journey, and it doesn't necessarily happen overnight.

I think possibly the easiest way for me to answer this is to just share my story of becoming.

If that sounds good for you, by all means.

Because I imagine that people might be listening, like, who's this girl who sounds like she has it all figured out?

Well, number one, I do not have it all figured out.

I will tell you that right now.

But what I would also say is that this has been 10 years in the making.

This did not happen overnight for me.

And I used to be extremely shy, and I used to see the world through a very negative lens because I was hurting.

I would often cover up my hurt with sarcasm and, like, very negative humor because I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

I always felt Like, I was a misfit and an outcast, and that pain followed me everywhere, and I just.

I just wanted to be liked, and I wasn't in my power.

I didn't have a voice.

I mean, I did on a stage.

I love to perform, but I, you know, I would constantly be talked over.

I would constantly be interrupted and have other kids turn their backs to me, and I would feel terrible.

And so I'd find it easier to just hide in the books and hide in the library, because that was easier than talking to me and actually living my life.

So I, you know, even to the point where I remember when I was.

I was doing a play in when I was 15, 16, for a big drama performance, and it was a very dramatic performance, and I almost set myself on fire, and all my siblings died, and I was like, screaming and yelling and loud.

And after that, my chemistry teacher comes to me and he goes like, he'd been teaching me for two years, and he just goes like, wow, so you can speak.

He was shocked.

So, you know, the seedling of my becoming and my transformation really began with that pain.

And sometimes.

Sometimes you change when the pain is too great than your current existence.

You feel like you have no other choice but to change.

And so what I did is I was in pain, so I wanted to fix it.

I went to Google and I typed in how to get charisma.

And that kind of sent me on a journey of discovery and learning about social skills and confidence and how.

How, you know, how can I express myself so I can make friends?

And through that, I started listening to podcasts like, you might be listening to this one, right?

And I started learning about, you know, people living their dream lives and entrepreneurship and personal development.

And that sent me on a journey of realizing, like, wow, I don't have to be this loser version of myself.

I can actually craft a new identity, and I can actually be the hero version of me.

And as I started to see improvements in my social skills, as I was implementing the things that I was learning, like eye contact and having my shoulders back and not looking at the floor when I walked, I started to improve, and I started to gain confidence in myself.

And I thought, wow, I never thought I could have social skills like that, but if I can improve in this area of my life, then surely I can improve in other areas of my life.

And it was that mentality that's kind of carried me up to where I am today, to the point of, you know, there was a point at which I didn't really do Any exercise.

I didn't really do fitness.

I was really naturally skinny with a very high metabolism.

I wouldn't eat very well.

I would actually eat a lot as well.

People always tell me that was crazy that I had such an appetite when I was so skinny, skinny and I wasn't really fit.

When I was like 21 and I was living in Italy, I was living with nuns.

Funny story.

And I decided, you know, I want to do some form of exercise, but I don't really know where to start.

And I remember one day a friend of mine who was living in another part of Italy, she sends me a selfie of her and she's like sweating and like, cheeks are flushed and she looks really happy and.

And I'm like.

And she like, just goes.

She goes like, I just ran 5k in 30 minutes.

And in my brain I was like, whoa, like, what?

How did you do that?

And also this friend was somewhat overweight, so it was very great motivation for me to be like, oh my goodness, if she can do it, I can do it.

And so I downloaded an app called couch to 5k, which gets you from your couch to 5k in nine weeks.

And I just started doing the steps and following the program and I was running three times a week, every single day until lo and behold, like, you know, even, even eight, seven or eight weeks later, I think I was, I was, you know, running 5K in like 25 minutes.

And even like.

And I, I didn't make any excuses.

I.

Those three, those three run times were non negotiable for me.

Like if it was pouring down with rain, I was running and I was happy about it.

If it was boiling hot, I was running and I was happy about it.

You know, and so it's, you know, there's so many more levels of the story of my becoming, but I think I'll leave it at that.

Cause I've already shared quite a bit of like, you know, we, we all have to start somewhere.

And if you, you know, you can start today.

All right, so that's fabulous.

And what I want to, I want everyone to hear this.

What she has shared is two or three interlocking 1% stories.

Going on Google, doing a search, watching some videos, listening to a podcast and then doing something with it.

Trying this, standing different, raising her head, talking to someone different, responding to a friend saying, wow, maybe I can do that.

She's heavier than maybe she wants to be and I'm not.

And I don't.

Can't even like, wait.

And so what is the action.

1% find an app couch to 5K and there's a billion apps.

And with AI, there's a billion more.

So the opportunity, the information is there.

And the key was those are all little 1% journeys.

1% journeys.

So all the.

Yeah.

Bits that any of you might be thinking of, they're all real until you decide they're not.

They are your limits until you decide to ignore them, even if it's a little at a time.

And so that was beautiful.

And of course there's more to your story of becoming because we're all in that journey.

The key is to get started and to say, yeah, what would 1% look like?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

It's, it's.

You know, I can't even, I can't even begin to tell you the amount of days I've, quote, unquote messed up.

Right?

Like, I could have been way more productive.

I just goofed off doing some random stuff that like, was just a total waste of time.

I fell into victim mentality again.

I got up super late.

I got out on the wrong side of bed.

I was just like, whatever, you know, like, like, like less and less nowadays.

But like, even in the past few years where people, people would still think like, oh, Yasmina's doing so many awesome things.

Wow.

Like, I would still have days where it's just like, you don't even, like, like if you were just like sitting in my life, like right next to me, you just feel like, how does she function?

But like, that's good for.

I'm going to say a thing here that you've heard me say before, and that is this.

Look, all of you and Yasmina, you're doing this.

Those who dare greatly fail greatly so carry a big blanket of forgiveness.

Because the weight of I should have this, that and the other, it's completely non productive.

It moves you forward.

0.

It doesn't do anything except put rocks in your backpack.

So drop that stuff and just carry a blanket of forgiveness just because you can.

Just because you said so.

Just because you're committed to the goal and not the weight that you're carrying of self recrimination.

I have a question for you about that.

With the age that you are, you're more digital native than somebody like me who's older.

And that is, you know, you talk about scrolling Instagram and stuff and I just don't do that because it doesn't interest me.

But there's lots of people that do and can get sucked up or discouraged or pushed around by the highlight version of other people's lives.

Lots of which is fake anyway, right?

Lots of which is phony and trying to pump themselves up and so forth.

What do you do to manage, to get back on track or to manage this 1% let's just use that and maybe other methods used, but just talk this 1%, what do you do to manage that?

To stay on a path of growth?

Again, we're talking about ultimate life purpose, prosperity and joy.

Where you said it's to get up every day stoked about your life.

Can't wait to get into it because I got this and this and this today.

I got up today excited because I got to do this, I got to interview you today.

So what do you do to help manage the incessant news cycle, social media and all of the gobbledygook that pours over us if we let it?

Such a great question.

Because it can be so easy to get sucked in and you have to again that forgiveness is so key.

You have to forgive yourself if you fall into a two hour TikTok rabbit hole.

I mean I don't have TikTok right now, but if you do that because you know these tech companies are really clever.

They are investing billions and billions and billions of dollars to see how they can keep you on their stuff longer.

And so actually like it's, it's like it's not your fault.

Like, like they're really trying to get you.

So you got to make sure that you are just as like you are building yourself to be just as strong to kind of arm yourself against that because they're really trying to keep you in these consumer cycles.

So there are definitely several, like various things that you can to manage that and things that I do and have done.

First of all, the news, just stop watching the news.

Like that's number one is just.

I don't watch the news.

I literally have never ever turned on a news program where it's like breaking news.

Welcome to the 6 o' clock BBC News.

Go and have a wonderful day.

The sun is shining, the clouds are bright, the sky is bright, the grass is green.

Go dance in jubilation and have a magical, difficult day.

I have never turned on the news and heard anything like that.

It's always like breaking news.

Car crash, someone was kidnapped, earthquake, financial collapse, health crisis.

Like I don't like even saying those words.

It feels like intense in my body.

Like you just don't need that in your field.

You just don't need that in your head.

If, if there's nothing that you can do about it or nothing that you were going to do about it to affect change from any of the things that you're hearing or seeing on, then there is no point in engaging with it because it's like, all right.

Oh, no.

It, like, keeps you in a cycle of complaining.

Oh, no, this terrible thing happened.

Well, I'm not going to do anything about it.

There's nothing I'm going to do to help.

But I feel shit now, so I can't actually do anything in my own life.

So I'm going to summarize that and say principle number one.

Protect your space.

Yes.

So you're telling me, protect my space.

I have choice about what I watch, I have choice about what I consume.

I have choice about what I take into my mind.

What body is a whole nother thing.

And that's what you talked a little bit about earlier.

But so protect your space.

So keep going.

Absolutely.

Listen to positive, uplifting music.

Listen to podcasts that inspire you.

Listen to audiobooks that inspire you, where you learn something.

Protect your space.

Absolutely.

What are you consuming?

Really?

Pay attention to that.

Also.

What are you consuming into your body?

Right.

Talking about health, you know, are you.

Are you fueling yourself with foods that give you energy and energize you, or are you consuming foods that cause lethargy and cause you to have less energy?

Which means that you're much more likely to fall into scrolling habits or consumer habits because you just don't have the energy to, you know, create something of your own.

So I'd say that ties right onto that.

Another thing I would say is super key.

And I know you talk about this a lot, Callan, but it's your morning really sets the tone for the rest of your day.

And so when I think about my mornings, I.

For at least the first hour, if not two or three or four, like, as long.

As long as I can go on, depending on what's going on in my day.

I don't look at WhatsApp.

I don't look at texts.

I don't look at Instagram.

I try and keep it on airplane mode if I can, like, until at least noon, ideally on many days, because otherwise I wake up and I'm reactive.

I wake up and someone else has put an input into my life and been like, oh, I need this.

Oh, think about that.

Like, in the morning, really, it's kind of like you're kind of like a baby again.

Like, I remember waking up this morning and I woke up and I was like.

And I was like, where am I and what planet am I on and what time is it and what's even going on in life?

I actually don't know what's going on at all.

So it's like you're starting on a completely blank slate.

So if you master at least the first hour of your day and, you know, do some kind of a meditation, go on a walk, do some exercise, you know, really take that time to nurture yourself, then you're in a much more strong and good and nourished, nurtured space, to the point that when you do start to, like, look at things coming in, like emails or texts, one, you feel good because you've already done something that nurtures you.

Maybe you've already done an hour or two of deep work on a project that really matters to you.

And then when you look at that, you're like, okay, I've done stuff with my day.

And also, I feel more equipped to respond to this now.

So this is brilliant and sage advice.

And yes, I do talk about that, because it's the key to your life.

I don't know why we were created to die every night and get recreated every morning.

I don't know why the Divine created us to sleep away a third of our lives.

When I died and talked to God, that topic didn't come up.

Maybe next time.

But here's the thing, it does.

And so since it does, like the Olympic athlete doesn't warm up after the game, the singer doesn't warm up after the show.

And so if you take control of the start of your day, you prepare yourself for whatever it is you're about to.

You own the inputs instead of allowing someone else to fill you up.

And that puts you in a place to create your life, to live your ultimate life, to get clear on your goals, to take decisive action, even if it's the 1% stuff.

There's nothing more important than intentionally creating your life.

And everybody can do that.

It doesn't cost anything.

And there's a ton of ways to do that.

And if you don't know how, talk to Yasmina and she'll tell you.

All right, good.

So now we've got that about how you create that, Then what?

Then what do you do now?

You've got yourself prepared, created, your cup is full, you've tied it to service, you've tied it to money.

Then how do you go about creating your impact?

What is your vision to create impact in the world?

So you've done that prep, you've taught us well.

That's Great.

And you're going about what?

So my vision is to see a world where everyone is living their most magical life and as you say, their ultimate life.

That is my vision.

And so anything that I can do to be in support of that vision is something that really excites me.

So one of the things that I'm working on right now really takes, you know, the past 10 years of my expertise in relationship building, which really started from me being a shy kid and not knowing how to human whatsoever, which I think is such a great.

You know, I often feel that your biggest mess becomes your biggest message.

That's the story of your becoming.

That's the point.

Keep going right exactly.

In the story of my becoming, if I could overcome all of these obstacles when it comes to people and relationship building, now I have something of value to that other people want, right?

Other people want.

How can I learn to become like that?

And so when you follow that story of your becoming, your mess, and your story is often going to be your message, your business, your cash, your income, your impact, the way that you give back.

So right now I'm writing a book on exponential relationships, which I see as a vehicle to creating a life of magic and wonderment and fulfillment and success.

And in so many ways, because, you know, even if you think about the wealthiest people in the world, like Warren Buffett, he says, you know, relationships are really the most important thing.

At the end of the day, he has billions of dollars in his bank account.

But what really shapes the daily reality of your life outside of, you know, money elevating certain parts of your life, right?

Making them a bit better.

But, you know, you have your relationships, you have your connections with your loved ones.

And so in that way, relationships is a huge part of living a magical life.

If you have a good, good relationships, you have a great life.

If you have bad relationships, you've got a pretty terrible life.

The other thing I'll say on that is, you know, a lot of people talk about, I want to create my dream and I want to manifest my dreams into reality or I want to like, execute on my goals.

Like, no matter which lens of personal development you're coming from, relationships are often the.

The key or the gateway or the to the door to the thing that you want, right?

I would say possibly everything that you want is on the other side of a relationship.

People hold the keys, you know, even like your divine partner, your romantic partner you're calling in, that's a relationship, that love, money you're calling in.

Money comes from People making an impact.

Well, you impact people.

That's relationships.

You want to learn a creative skill.

Well, you learn that from people.

You co create with people.

You know, like a lot of this stuff comes through relationships.

And so I really feel that leaning into them and learning how to master that skill is definitely a big key to creating a magical life.

And I want to help people do that.

So isn't it interesting?

What you've described is the story of your becoming, your mess becomes your message.

You've been on an intentional journey to learn to human and you've done an extraordinary job and you get recognized for it because I see some of the groups that you're in, which is why I wanted you to tell this story.

So you have it.

You've mastered that skill and you're sharing it and you're doing it in a way that lifts and blesses as others.

And so you have done exactly what we've talked about to create this life of purpose, which is what you described, to help people realize that they can live and create the life they want.

They can do it with what they already have because the stuff is inside of them.

Yes.

It's on the other side of your fears and stories and old behaviors.

Yes.

And the path is marked, the help is available, and this means you listening right now.

So did.

Did I say that right?

Yes, absolutely.

And you have to bet on yourself.

You have to bet on yourself.

When I got onto my entrepreneurial journey and, you know, finished Cambridge University and a finance internship that was prestigious in the city of London, which I hated, really, I, you know, I was shown a path where I could continue on that kind of a path and take some kind of a corporate job that wouldn't fulfill me, or I could leap into the unknown and step, you know, like, face my fears and be like, all right, like, I might fail and fall on my ass and look really stupid, but at least I tried.

Which, you know, led me to starting a podcast, which kick started my entrepreneurial journey.

But like, the amount of resistance that I faced from people was insane.

You know, my parents were concerned, right, that I was, I was, I was not going on a path that would, you know, lead me to the safety that they, the security that they wanted for me.

You know, other people around me, you know, friends, friends thought I was going a bit crazy.

You know, like, I just, I had a lot of resistance.

And if I didn't have that conviction, like, I bet on myself and I can do this and I believe in myself even when others, even when other people are trying to pull me down, or even when other people say, like, oh, just.

Just do a regular job or just do something else.

I was crazy enough and somewhat delusional enough to be like, I'm sticking at it, and I believe in myself.

And through all of the ups and downs of my entrepreneurial journey so far, of which I've had a lot, I've had several times where I've had massive failures.

I felt humiliated.

I had to pick myself up on the floor and kind of get back on the horse, really.

And a part of the thing that helped me was the relationships that I built, that uplifted me, that believed in me, that were there for me when everything went to shit.

And I could call them and they would support me and they would help lift me back up into that.

But the other thing is that it really starts, even if you don't have any of those friends now, because I didn't.

Honestly.

It starts with that self belief.

And when you believe in yourself and you're able to step into that story of your own becoming, you're able to fill up your cup and then be of service to others, you will then be able to create ripples of impact, and you're going to start to see your family change, will be inspired by you, friends that you used to have maybe come.

Some will fall away, but some will come along the journey with you.

All of the people you meet, all of the people you help, like it's one of the most fulfilling things.

But if you do not bet on yourself, none of that will happen.

That's the first step.

That's beautiful.

So I want to ask one more question, and that is this.

Because we fail, because we fall down, because we have this resistance from others, how important is it, in your experience, in this daily preparation and this whole process of going up and down to learn and practice truly loving yourself as you are, as opposed to listening to others or finding the flaws or thinking, yeah, but I.

This, that, and the other, to just truly loving yourself, how, number one, how important is it?

And two, how does Yasmina do that?

Such a good question, Kellen.

It's everything.

It really is everything.

I. I cannot emphasize that enough.

And for so long, I didn't love myself.

I didn't truly love myself.

I thought that I was not enough.

I thought that I was not worthy.

And I would often hide behind achievements, I would often overachieve to kind of compensate for the feeling that I was not enough as I was.

And that caused a lot of pain and a lot of Anguish and a lot of stress.

And yes, I accomplished great things, but it was not coming from the right place.

It was not coming from the right energy.

It was coming from that stress frequency.

And if you stay in that, like, often you burn out, and that stuff can also come back to haunt you.

So really coming into truly loving myself unconditionally and, and being okay with where I am, you know, like, I. I actually was listening to a podcast a couple weeks ago, and she.

She described self love so beautifully.

I think it was someone on the Tim Ferriss show.

And.

And she said, you know, imagine that.

You know, your.

Imagine your energy coming out of your body into your arms, and you look down at your arms, and it's just.

You're holding yourself as a baby.

Like, how can you not love that baby?

Even if they fail, even if they mess up, even if they are lazy, even if they have excuses, even if they are, you know, ugly, like, whatever it is, like, how can you not just have so much unconditional love for that baby?

And can, like, can you love yourself that same way?

And it's so beautiful what you said, Kellen, about the shoulds, because that, that.

That haunted me most of my life.

I should, I should this, I should that.

I should this, I should that.

It caused so much pain, it caused so much anguish.

It was entirely unnecessary.

And the moment that I started to let go of the I shoulds, I became way more happy.

And when I became more happy, I became more effective and I became more successful, and I started creating even better and even deeper relationships.

So it really starts with that self love, because as RuPaul says on RuPaul's Drag Race, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

You can't.

So if somebody wants to find out, somebody wants to find out more, follow you, check out what you have to offer because you offer things.

Where do they go?

What do they do to follow you, to get more connected with you, to be in your space more?

How do they do that?

A great question.

I would.

I would say you could find me on pretty much anything with Yasmina Ellens.

Y A S M I N A E double L I N S. You can find me on Instagram at that.

LinkedIn at that.

Instagram's probably better.

You can also check out my.

My media kit/website, yasminaellensmedia.com I also have a yasminaellins.com that I'll probably be turning into something more substantial soon.

So, yeah, many different ways to stay connected.

And I'd love to hear from you and see what your biggest takeaways were from, from this.

I want to encourage you to do that because I know Yasmina and have for a while now and can tell you that her, her.

The way you see her today is, is real.

This is authentic.

This is the Yasmina.

Every time I've been with her, every time I've talked to her, both in real life and, and virtually.

And so the, the idea of loving yourself, the idea of overcoming these obstacles, the idea of 1%, the idea of taking these risks, the idea of learning to overcome barriers or picking up new skills, those are all real and they are moving forward.

Yasmine, I want to thank you for sharing your energy and your love with us today.

My pleasure.

Kellen, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share.

You're welcome.

I want you guys to go back and listen because she's an authentic real life example of the truth of how this works.

You start where you are.

You pick some things, you get the help you need, whether it's podcasts or a coach or YouTube videos or books or whatever, and move forward.

There isn't really anything except you in the way between where you are now and living your ultimate life.

Open your heart and this time around.

Right here, right now, your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenfluekegermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here.

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