You Climbed the Ladder — But It Was Against the Wrong Wall

Have you ever gotten exactly what you wanted? Like hit the big home run, the big kahuna, and it feels flat. What the heck is going on? Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living the dream.It's time for truth. This is the place for tools, power and real talk. So you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create.You have infinite power. Welcome to your ultimate life. The podcast been going on for five and a half, going on six years, pretty soon dedicated to just one thing.How do you create that life? You love, purpose, prosperity and joy. Most of the time, at least.The way I started and was brought up and indoctrinated is that you need big success in the world. Like somebody has to crown you king for a day, or, you know, C suite something, CEO, coo, C something or other, or.And combined with that, you make a bunch of money. 2004-005000-00700,000 million, whatever it is. That was it, right? I mean, that's what we all strived, strove true, tried to get right. That was it.I mean, that's the way I was raised. You know, my dad had XYZ job and, oh, we had a lot of conversation about can't afford this, that and the other. So get a better job, go to school.I mean, you know the drill, right? So the question I started with is, you all have goals, we have goals.And sometimes, most of the time, especially in the beginning of our lives, there's somebody else's.You should go to college, you should graduate, you should get a trade, you should make a certain amount of money, you should drive this, you should live here, you shouldn't live there, don't date this person, don't go out that, don't this, do that. Those goals were externally imposed and that ends up almost always in conflict and misery.And the reason that it does isn't because the goals weren't, you know, good for somebody, right? They were good for somebody and someone.Parents, teachers, leaders, church leaders, whatever, give you that kind of advice out of the depth of their heart because of their experience. And the truth is, they don't know you at all. You know Tom Petty's old song, nobody, no one knows what it's like. You don't know what it's like.You don't know what it's like to be me. And that is true, hundred percent true. I have no idea what you've been through and more importantly, what it did with you to you, for you.Like, two people can go through exactly the same circumstance, and it does something completely different to them. Why? Well, duh. They're different people. Right? Let's throw two people in a swimming pool. One can swim, one can't. You don't know the difference.One gets out, one drowns. Same pool, same depth, same whatever. One knew how to swim, one didn't.You know, the things that we've learned and the experiences we have aren't tattooed on the forehead. All the skills and gifts, but they're all part of our life. And when we learn stuff early enough and deeply enough, it's instinctive.And by instinctive, I mean, you know, automatic reaction. What I really meant is it's our natural reaction.So if you're taught to not like another race, then every time you see them, you add old dialogue plays in the background. Something wrong with them. They're bad. Or rich people. They all suck. They got it wrong somehow. If they're rich, they're evil.We've all had those kinds of stories, and none of them are good. Absolutely none of them are good. And that actually has nothing to do with whether or not they're true.They're not good because they got crammed down your throat. The truth about growth is that you or I have to connect with the vision of possibility.We have to get to the place where we can see the possibility and the value of it. And then whatever we got taught takes on meaning. And we go there and we go there under our own steam and under our own power.I spent most of my life up until my early 50s living someone else's definition of success. And at the same time, it caused all the problems, you know, that it would.Depression, struggle, failed relationships, abuses, chemistry, chemical abuses, rehab, etc. Etc. Mine was a particularly rowdy case.But whether it's a small amount, whether it's quiet misery that ends up in somebody having a midlife crisis and walking away from everything, or whether someone just suffers in silence and does all the things they're supposed to do till they're dead and they hate their life. Like, what is that about? Well, that's what we want to talk about today. Because I talk about this ultimate life stuff, purpose, prosperity and joy.And it's real. Like I used to hear this over and over again. You can do anything you set your mind to. You can create whatever you want.And to me, that was all a bunch of crap over and over again. Crap. You're lying. You're just saying stuff. You're trying to make me feel good.You're blowing smoke on and on and on, because I didn't believe any of it. And continued repetition is what it felt like. It sounded like I didn't do anything to get it inside my heart. So let's talk about the arc of success.The next several episodes till nearly the end of January, six episodes are going to talk about this arc of success. Like, what does it flip and take to create a life you love, purpose, prosperity and joy built on the five pillars.WIPO swearth W I P O S worth, identity, possibility, ownership, sovereignty. What the heck does it take? Well, I want to start with a particular story.So in Stephen Covey's book, and maybe it was not in his book 7 Habits, I seem to remember this quote tied to that book. But it could be wrong. You know, it's terrible to spend all your effort climbing the ladder. What is it?Ladder of success, corporate ladder, Ladder of entrepreneurship, even. Ladder of money, ladder of whatever and get to the top and find out it was against the wrong wall.You know, there are many descriptions, but that's an apt description of crap. I put a whole bunch of effort in here and I got to the top and like, so what? It was the wrong wall. I put my ladder against the wrong wall.And so who cares? I don't even care. There's an old song, I think Doris Day sang it called Is that All There is? And it is a melancholy, sad song.And I don't remember all the words, but the. The chorus is, is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friend, then let's keep dancing.Let's break, break out the booze and have a ball. And it really is okay. I hit the top. Fame, cash, notoriety. And my gut is empty. Yeah. People, you know, say I'm cool. People say you're cool. You did it.You made it. Then why do I feel so black? Why do I keep looking for something?Well, that's a legitimate and powerful question that untold thousands, millions of people ask. And the reason is because we've been told, taught, indoctrinated, poured the Kool Aid down our throats, that the wrong things are important.I have more money than you. That is not important. But we've been told it is. Our whole society is built on that red carpet. Glamour, glitz, cars, bigger houses, bigger. This.More, more and more of more is always more better. More is better, right? No, it's not. But that's the. The worship, the love, the religion of money. The corollary religion is status.I'm more important than you More people know my name. I can get into places you can't because I'm cool and you're not. You know, C.S.lewis is quoted as saying, happiness isn't in having a thing, whatever that is, but in having more of it than the next person. How sick. So we've been poisoned with the idea that more is the answer.And so when we get more, then we look around and see somebody else that has more or less of whatever it is, money, status, house, car, you know, they have more. Oh, well, then I need more. I'm not happy, I'm flat, I'm empty. So they have more. I better get more. And then we set about getting more.And pretty soon we. We. We dis. We disavow, we neglect. We dump things that were once upon a time important to us because, oh, we got to go get that more.It's usually money, but it can be anything and all the way. You know, what do we do? We lose families, we lose relationships.Legion stories of people going, pursuing, you know, got the gig, got up in the company, big. This big, that spent 50 million hours at work. Don't know. Your kids. Don't know. Your spouse. Don't know. Don't know. Oh, dear.And then, you know, divorce, misery, drugs, infidelity, cheating, etc. Or why? Because we walked away from what was truly important. Money isn't the answer. Love is the answer. Relationships is the answer.Honesty is the answer. Being your word is the answer. Living true to your divine nature is the answer.Service, creating beauty and love and kindness in the world is the answer. Those are the answer. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with making a boatload of cash, but what happens is we worship that.We get to where that is more important. Now, there's a. There's a some questions I want you to just honestly think about.I want you to think about areas where you fully accomplished everything you wanted or a ton. Like where you're in a place where you think, wow, I never thought I'd get here. That. I never thought I'd get here.Maybe you've had a picture on the wall of the house. And then you have the house, right? You have it. There it is. I own it. I walk into it. I remember that occurrence.I didn't have a picture of the house I bought, but I had a picture of what it ought to look like. How many rooms, how many square feet. I bought it. 5 acres. A gigantic house. Not happy, still looking for more. More.And, you know, doing what I had to do. To keep it and live it. But it was the emptiness. And again, I want you to write this phrase down. You can never, never get enough. Excuse me?You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need won't satisfy you. Steve Jobs, I think, is, you know, fabled as saying, a $3,000 watch tells time the same as the $30 watch.$300,000 car gets you to the same place a $30,000 car does. And he went on and gave several examples. And excuse me, what he was trying to illustrate was this point we've been talking about.So the name of this episode is you made it. Why does it feel so flat? And I want to explore that because we're going on the next several episodes on the ark of fulfillment.And when we get down to the other side of the rainbow, we're going to have shared everything that it takes to create your ultimate life. Everything it takes. Now, I'm sharing this from a place of absolute certainty and knowledge.And the reason that I am is because I have walked that rainbow from a place of misery, from a place of having achieved everything I thought I wanted, realizing it was not all that, not even close.Experiencing all the difficulties and struggles that that conflict creates, shedding it all, you know, nearly dying a couple times and a whole bunch of stuff, and then making a clear decision. I'm going to go find out what's truly important. Walk the rainbow. Walk over the bridge. I always draw it like a rainbow. Why?Because there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and I like pots of gold. So I've walked it. I did it. From misery to mastery, from suicide to true success in the soul at the deepest level. What that.What the heck does that mean? Well, it means that today, this day, as I record this, I'm happy every day, all the time, people ask me, like, we all do each other, right?How are you doing? And I don't ever say fine. I don't ever even say great. I usually say something like outrageous. And then people say, what do you mean?Because, you know, outrageous can be outrageous, can be like, terrible. What do you mean, outrageous? And then I usually finish it up with, if I was any better, I'd explode.Or, there need to be two of me, or, you know, something like that. And the point is, I don't want to gloss over that question because that question is the beginning of the search. How are you?And Maybe it takes 10, 15 or 20 minutes or half an hour or two hour walk in the woods to just dare to answer that question. Question. How are you? How do you feel? Are you full of love for yourself and for others?Are you truly grateful for what you have, no matter what it is, how much it is or isn't? Are you deeply engaged in loving and serving others around you? I don't know why the cough's here today, but anyway, it is. So is that true?And there are several other questions like that to explore, like the truth about yourself. And honestly, when I talk to people, most people can even answer those questions. They start with a superficial layer. Who are you?Well, I'm the president of xyz. Or roles. I'm a dad, or I'm a CEO, or I'm a city councilor, whatever. And that isn't who you are.Some of the things you do, and maybe you do them really well. So let's talk about here. This. The myth is that there is fulfillment in stuff. We were sold a gigantic lie. That achievement equals peace. Not true.There is nothing that comes from the outside that will give you peace of mind, peace in your heart that will let you look in the mirror and love everything you see. Nothing from the outside will do that. No amount of acclaim, no number of awards, no amount of recognition. It is legend.The number of people who say the following. Some kind of award or multiple awards or recognition gets heaped on them.And then secretly, at the time or later, when they get home, they look in the mirror and the words in their mind are, if they only knew. Imposter syndrome.Hiding one or ten or a hundred skeletons with the thought that if they knew me, really, they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't trust me. They wouldn't, you know, they'd blow me off. I'd be dead, I'd be gone. I personally know. I felt like that.And I personally know a bunch of people who, many hundreds, thousands that I have personally talked to that express that kind of feeling. So what is that? Well, like I said, we were sold this myth. And the myth is that achievement is peace.House, money, position, cars, status, recognition, power. We were sold. That. That's achieve. I mean, excuse me, that. That equals sign. Achievement equals peace. So let's think about this.I can tell you there's a hollow feeling if you have a public win, you have some win where you're acknowledged, like wildly acknowledged.I remember a very specific circumstance, and I'm not going to go into details because it's not relevant and it would be a long story anyway, but where I had a public acclaim from people that were in very high positions, and they said, wow, law. And said this thing that was as high achievement acknowledgment as possible. And when I got home, it felt nothing. If you only knew, right?And I felt strutted. Yeah, I'm cool. I can do this. Yeah, look at me. And it lasted about three seconds because it's hollow and comes from the outside.So what comes after that emptiness is a hunger. And the hunger we misinterpret as more. Well, if that felt good, and it did for a moment, you get that kind of acclaim acknowledgment award. Wow, you.You know, you really got. It feels good for a minute, and then it's replaced by a hunger. I need it again. Who else can tell me? I'm cool? Well, you can't have enough of them.We all know the stories of actors and musicians and leaders of corporations and stuff that end up taking their own lives. And we were just staggered. We're like, why? They had everything. They had everything except happy. So that's the wrong wall thing.And so here's what I want you to realize. That hunger is a soul hunger.It's a hunger of your spirit that no amount of stuff, no amount of hangers on followers, money, houses, drugs, alcohol, no amount of money can fill that hole. So whether you've had that feeling a little or a lot, like I did, at least for me, it was a lot. It's not enough, and it never will be.So let's talk about what to do about that success when we use that external value, it's kind of like a costume we forget we're wearing. Our worth is tethered to applause. And so what are we doing? Well, we're endlessly seeking applause.Where can I be in another place to get acknowledged and recognized? Because what we're looking for is kudos, acknowledgments, petting, as it were, from outside. And that.That absolutely feels good for a moment, and it feels empty after five minutes. And so we go looking for another fix. It's absolutely no different than addiction to some chemical substance.It is an addiction, and there can never be enough. You develop a tolerance for it, just like you do with many substances. And there can never be enough and more and more. And pretty soon you overdose.Or if you're not, you know, if the adrenaline doesn't kill you or the applause doesn't kill you, you go looking for bigger and bigger thrills. And that's when you start taking crazy risks. And we all know where that. Where that road goes. So here's the thing. Real freedom.Now we've talked about all the problems and acknowledged them in many of the different ways it shows up. So what is really real freedom? Real freedom is remembering who you were before the trophies.And if that is a painful memory, because where you were before the trophies was a frightened person who thought they couldn't cut it and never thought they'd, quote, make it if that's who you were before the trophies, you're never going to get happy ever. Because the trophies don't change that. The trophies don't change the feeling of I'm nobody, I'm nothing, I can't cut it.So what we have to do is go to work on that falsehood because I'm nobody, I'm nothing, I can't cut, it isn't true. And what we've done is mask it over and over again, seeking this external garbage. And the external garbage one is short lived.It goes away even if it lasts 10 or 15 years and it doesn't really fill the hole. And you already know that because you've experienced it. So what do we do then? Here are some of the anesthesias that we use to cover the pain.Overwork, distraction, numbing. And that has a whole gambling, shopping, drugs, alcohol, sex, whatever, numbing things, behaviors so we don't feel.And if you know what I mean, then you've been buried in one or more of those things and you know that it doesn't work, it doesn't last any longer than you know the anesthesia that it provides. So here's the truth. When you empty all that and you sit by yourself, sober, quiet and alone, what you're feeling is a divine dissatisfaction.The divine spirit in you is saying, hey, all of these things are fun, but they're not the real deal. They don't last. And you will have known that. They don't fill the deep hole in your soul and they never will.So if it's a divine dissatisfaction, a divine feeling saying, hey, there is more, let's get that going, that kind of pain is truth announcing itself. I'm here, it's time to act. Now I know you felt divine nudges. You might call them inspirations, you might call them intuition.And sometimes, in fact, I would venture to say that most of the time we ignore them, yeah, yeah, yeah, later, or I don't know, that's just a stupid thought or I can't do that anyway, or you know, a hundred other ways to ignore those things. It is still truth announcing itself. And so let's reframe that ache. That ache isn't asking for more booze to quiet the pain.It isn't asking for another million so you can buy another, you know, $350,000 car and pretend you're cool. It isn't asking for another big 2,000 square foot addition to your 10,000 square foot house. That pain isn't asking for that.Let's talk about what it is asking for. That emptiness is energy that has been misassigned. It's energy that's been used to chase the wrong things. So what else is there?Well, let's talk about the real truth of who we are. And that is this. You're a divine being.You know that you have memories and remembrances of things before you came to this world with gifts and talents. Even identical twins raised in the same family develop completely different interests and have different skills. Why is that?Well, because they came different, they look the same physically, but were different. And then the way we go through life makes us different. So we are built physically and spiritually to love and to serve each other.I want you to think back when you've been in service, like real service. Maybe you got paid for it, maybe you didn't.But when the activity was real service, like you could see intentionally in a focused way, you were really helping somebody, lifting and blessing them. There's no satisfaction and feeling that's bigger than that. Service is the biggest high of all time.You know, one of the interesting things that they prescribe for people who struggle for with depression, and I did for decades. Get off your ass and go help somebody. Stop thinking about me. Me, me, me, me, me, me. I don't feel like this. I don't.I, I, I, I just cut the pronoun for a while. How can I love you? Look at every person and ask simply the question, how can I make their day better?Not because I need something, how can I love them? Maybe they need a smile. Maybe they need a favor. Maybe they need a conversation. Maybe they need to be acknowledged.Maybe they just need someone to pay attention to them. When was the last time you went through your contact list with the idea who can I love today? Who can I just send messages of joy, excitement?I haven't talked to you for a while.I just want you to know, thinking about you and I really cherish our last conversation or the memory that I had that we did this, that and the other, and I'd like to do it again. When can we, when can we have lunch?When can we, you know, acknowledgement and love that does way more for your heart and soul than another million in the bank. And if you're laughing because I said that, then you haven't tried it.So if you want to think about science, neurotransmitters, the cocktail of neurotransmitters in our blood is what decides how we're feeling, right? The neurotransmitter cocktail makes us mad or sad or happy or joyful, you know, or want to have make love. All those things are neurotransmitters.The spirit, the energetic body has some kind of a similar mechanism. Because when you help somebody, it's not just the oxytocin and the anandamide and bliss molecule and, you know, the other neurotranspirator.It's not just those. There's a deeper sense of soul satisfaction. Every great evolution.So if you today are in the place that I described, where you've climbed the high wall and you did fabulous and you know it, and you felt the empty, you felt the yearning, sometimes it shows up as, I should give back. I've succeeded in all these ways and I now need to give back. I just feel a need to do that. Okay, listen to that. Now.One of the things that's fun about that yearning is because of the unique nature of your life. Your skills, your gifts, your divine nature.You know, the life experience you've had, your version and vision of giving back is going to be different than everybody else's. That means you can do things other people can't. That means you can provide value, love, caring, service, education, coaching, training.Different than anyone else because you are different. And that difference is your super power. You know, I used to hear people say that and I didn't understand it.You can make a living using your own life experience. And I used to think that was crap. Again, some stuff people said, just, you know, sell stuff.I've now learned that it's not only true, it's the best that you've got. You want to make a boatload of cash, do the work, to mine your life for what you know and learn and share that that's your most powerful gift.That's your most money gift, and that is the deepest and most satisfaction. And I say most money because people are always saying, yeah, but I gotta pay bills. You do. And I don't care how rich you get. Money doesn't buy peace.Money doesn't buy satisfaction. It doesn't buy fulfillment. And you know that. You know it from examples around you.And maybe you know, it because you've made your boatload of cash and realized, holy crap, I'm not fulfilled. Is that all there is? So when we choose to be in service, truly in love and service, that feels better than anything.Why do you think the so many, not all of them, so many billionaires, Bill Gates, another hundred million dollars to this cause and that cause. And lots of them do that. Philanthropic endeavors. Not just as a tax shelter, not just because we are called to do that. And we're not only called.And I'm going to say this really slow because it's really important. Sometimes we then go and think, okay, fine, when I make a bunch of cash, then I'll be a philanthropist, but I got to make a lot of money first.And you'll never get there. And you'll never be fulfilled. You'll sabotage yourself before you get there. You can develop.In fact, indeed should develop, and I use that word should carefully because I'm not telling anybody what to do. Develop your giving on the way because it makes you earn more money faster. It connects you with more people, more deeply. It makes you matter more.When we are in love and service, there becomes more substance to our soul. The size of our soul actually grows. I don't know, maybe if we do enough love and service, the soul won't even fit in the body anymore.It'll leak out our ears. I'm being a little silly, but you already. I've met so many people that say, you know, I just have this yearning to help.Well, the yearning is built into us. And one of the most important messages I want to leave you with today is that can start right now.Wherever you are on the ladder of recognition and financial growth, you can climb that ladder faster. If you are in love and service with your fellow beings, you will climb it with more satisfaction as you love and serve.You will have more creativity as you love and serve. More opportunities will land in your lap as you love and serve.That love that we're made out of has the effect in the universe of attracting opportunities to you. We've all heard about the law of attraction and yeah, there is an attractive force. We attract who we're being.So if we are being a love and service and kindness and judgment free helping person, we will attract money and opportunities like you can't believe. Zig Ziglar, I think, is quoted with saying, you can have anything you want in the world if you help enough other people get what they want.It's the same thing. And here's another thing that I notice. If I Go about that activity just because I want to make money.So I know he said, if I do that, I'm going to help them. And I help them. I help 27 people. How come I'm not. You can't. It doesn't work like that. It has to be without expectation.It has to be out of pure love, because pure love, that vibration. Yeah, it's woo woo talk. Going out into the universe is infinitely powerful. It draws opportunities to you. It draws people to you. You know that.You know what it's like to be around somebody who's greedy. You know what it's like to be on somebody who's a jerk. You know what it's like to be around somebody that's only out for themselves.And you know what it's like to be around somebody who is truly caring, genuine. I love it when people say to me, you know, I met so and so and they're really rich and famous and I thought they'd be jerk wads. And you know what?They're so nice. They were trying to help everybody. And they that want to help everybody is a characteristic that attracts success, fame, fortune, opportunity.It doesn't. I promise you that. Not because Kellen said so, but because those are eternal laws. When we send out love, we get it back.When we send out generosity, we get it back. When we go out of our way to help people, we get it back. When we go out of our way to serve and bless and lift and make that the focus.You're always against the right wall.And you can pursue career opportunities and education opportunities and being the CXO of whatever or an entrepreneur, starting your own company to five, six, not five, but six, seven, eight, nine figures. And do it in love and service and kindness, greed and cheating and dissing. And that's not required. In fact, it destroys your ladder.So if you want to live this ultimate life, I talk about every episode, you can, you can have it. And it is easiest and fastest to build.When we choose a life of love and service and serve with our skills, our gifts that we, you know, came naturally with in our life experience. When we weave those together in the triple helix rope, there's nothing we can't create. You were built as a divine creator.So was I. I have finally, after these years of working on that and figuring it out, reached a level of mastery with that. So I can create whatever I want. And it manifests and it comes in my life, clients, money, joy, opportunity, service, creativity, etc.And I live every day that ultimate life. And that doesn't matter to you, except I'm sharing it with you. Not only the fact that I have it, so what? But the fact that you can have it.There's nothing special about me except I wouldn't quit. It won't stop. I'm going over that mountain. And my mission this year is to help you.Right here, listening to this achieve, purpose, prosperity and joy, to change the world the way you want to. So if you have achieved success and you're feeling that flat feeling, this is your call. This is your call to wake up.And if you said this isn't enough anymore, then it's time to understand what real fulfillment at the soul level is. I invite you to have a convo. If you'd like. Kellenfluekigermedia.com this URL up there. Kellenfluecigermedia.com is a contact form.Let's talk My mission is to help 300 million people, you included, to own the truth that you can have anything you want.The only thing keeping me or you from achieving all we want is our own stories, our own lack of willingness to put on our hiking shoes and walk up the hill because the road's there. It's been walked and it's been marked. So I invite you to walk with me. Walk with me.Because realizing you've been against the wrong wall is just the start. Okay? I'm climbing down this ladder and going to the other. I'm going to acknowledge the truth of my divine nature.I'm going to get the help I need so I can climb. Stay energized and motivated. I love you.My goal with all of my heart is to give you everything that I have to show you how to create right this minute, your ultimate life. Right here, right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change every everything. If you want to know more, go to Kellen Fluker media.com if you want more free tools, go here.Your Ultimate Life ca subscribe Share Stand with your heart in the sky and your feet on the ground. Be.