The Swamp of Learned Helplessness (And How to Rip the Stake Out)

You’re not stuck. You’re not broken. You’re not powerless.
You were conditioned.
In this powerful solo episode, Kellan exposes the invisible prison of learned helplessness — the beliefs you absorbed as a child, the limits you stopped questioning, and the ropes you never tested again. If you’ve ever said “that’s just how it is” or “this is as good as it gets,” this episode is your wake-up call.
The rope isn’t real.
And you’re stronger than you think.
Key Takeaways:
- The difference between living by default (the swamp) and living by design (the meadow)
- What “learned helplessness” actually is — and how it forms
- The elephant and stake analogy explained
- How childhood conditioning becomes adult limitation
- Why effort appears not to change outcomes
- The emotional payoff of staying helpless (reduced responsibility, risk, exposure)
- How learned helplessness shows up in money, health, and relationships
- The hidden cost: stagnation, resentment, envy
- Neuroplasticity and rewiring the brain
- Why change is incremental before it’s permanent
- “Small, defiant experiments” as the escape hatch
- Reclaiming sovereignty and personal agency
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00:00
Have you ever seen a cartoon or a movie where someone's crying out for help and someone standing over there and points, well, there's the staircase or there's the way out. Have you ever seen that? Are you doing that? Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living the dream? It's time for true. This is the place for tools, power and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life.
00:33
Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. Hello and welcome to Your Ultimate Life. This is the second in a series of six episodes about the swamp and the meadow. If you haven't heard the first one, go back and hit up 1082 because this series is so important and so powerful. Do you want to create wealth?
00:58
Impact and personal meaning I've never talked to a person that I can remember Who said no, I don't want wealth. No, I don't want to make a difference and no I don't want to have personal fulfillment or meaning. I don't care about those things Now maybe there are those kind of folks. They just haven't been in my space and believe me I touch thousands and tens of thousands of people and many many many of them individually
01:27
And everybody has a yearning to have those things. I call it the ultimate life, purpose, prosperity and joy, purpose, prosperity and joy. So let's take that apart for a minute. Purpose is a chosen stance toward life. I was on a podcast episode yesterday morning of someone else, a bright, beautiful guy from India. And he was in the middle of the night for him because they're like 12 and a half hours.
01:56
for some reason they're on a half hour, maybe it's because of where they sit geographically, but 12 and a half hours difference. So it was 1030 for me and 11 at night for him. And there he was bright eyed and he was trying to make a difference. And he was doing an episode about healing, healing journeys, talking about getting out of difficult situations and then making the most. And so there he is. He didn't seem that old. He might've been late twenties.
02:25
Why is he doing that? Well, he's probably doing it to make a difference. He's probably doing it to make some money and to gather a following. I looked and it looks like he has several things going and that's his effort. Now he could go get a job doing whatever, but he has chosen to make a difference in this particular way. Why? Well, we didn't get to dig into that, but I loved his energy and his spirit and I told him so. And it was so good to see and feel and be with somebody.
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So this series of six episodes is talking about the swamp and the meadow. The swamp is a place where we live by default. The meadow is where we live by design. And it's easy to talk about those things at a 50,000 foot level and say, yeah, you create your life and da da da. And that's true, but talking about it at 50,000 feet doesn't help very much.
03:25
So in the last one, 1082, we talked about what the swamp is, how we get there and so forth. And so I'm not going to review that here. 1082 is where that is. Today's episode is about one specific piece, one characteristic. And like I said, we're going to dive into this deeply because so many people touch it lightly, but it doesn't give you the tools to understand how you got there.
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And more importantly, what to do about it. And my commitment is to give you that because my goal isn't to talk about something, but to provide a rope to get out of the swamp, a ladder to climb and love to encourage you. So everything I say might be confrontational and a little bit for you. don't know, but I'm speaking out of love and also
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out of the voice and experience of one who lived in the swamp and has experienced each of these things that we're going to talk about in my own life and in my own way. And I hope and I know that by sharing the truth of my experience openly and vulnerably, you will recognize pieces in your own life if you want to. And more importantly, way more importantly than recognizing them.
04:52
You'll wake up a glimmer of hope or a raging fire of hope because it takes action. It takes commitment for us to change, especially when we've been living in a difficult in the swamp, learned helplessness, addiction to mediocrity and victim mindset. So today, this episode 1084, we're going to talk about learned helplessness. I want you to hear both those words learned
05:20
is something that we didn't have and we learned. I didn't know how to ski. I learned when I was 40. Because I learned later in life, I was kind of clumsy for the first, I don't know, maybe year. And it took a while before I got the hang of the body and the motion and the movement and the balance. And because I'm a sort of a nutcase in terms of going all in, I pushed and pushed and went until I could ski.
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greens and blues and blacks and then double blacks. And I was never at the caliber of greatness, I could ski all those without injury and having a lot of fun. But it was only through that same kind of effort. So my point in saying I was 40 isn't, actually that's not even true. I was 45. Wow. Yeah. I was 45. I forgot 2000. I was born in 55. So that's when I learned and I pushed it.
06:19
And you can too. And that example isn't to say, yay me, that's kind of whatever. But the truth is you can learn anything you want at any time. So here's the purpose of this. Learned helplessness. I want to expose the conditioning that we've had. And I'm going to do that in detail. Why? Because when you see it in detail, it's way easier to recognize. At least it was for me. I also want to get rid of the belief, destroy the belief that trying
06:47
doesn't change outcomes. Sometimes we get the idea that, I tried, well, I tried and it doesn't work. And so we give up continuous effort. Trying as it were does change outcomes. Not giving up does change outcomes. And the third thing, I want to restore to you your agency. Like we have the ability, actually the sacred and holy obligation to choose who we're being and how we face life every day. oh
07:16
But so many of us so often just default to what's around us. And in no way am I trying to minimize the hardships. You know, I've had my stack, you've had your stack, and I don't want to minimize those at all. They're real. They leave wounds, they leave scars, they leave struggles, they leave false beliefs, and those are not permanent, and they're not forever, and they can change.
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The way to change them isn't rah rah. It's not to wave a wand and say, you can do this rah rah rah. It is a determined effort and then experimenting until we find the tools, the people, the processes, the help to get where we're going. All right. So let's talk about, um, what, learned helplessness is. So there's a story that you've heard. I know you've heard it, but I'm going to tell it anyway.
08:10
Elephants in circuses. Elephants in circuses. Barnum and Bailey's three ring circus, right? Elephants are trained to do all kinds of things and I'm not going to opine right now whether it is humane treatment or unkind treatment. So let's not get sidetracked on that dance right now. That's a different discussion and there's kind ways to treat every breathing living thing and unkind ways.
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But one of the ways for training elephants has been to put a big stake in the ground, deep in the earth, and tie that stake with a chain to the foot of the elephant, a baby elephant. Now, a baby elephant doesn't know anything about rules and things, so it, of course, pulls on the chain. And it pulls hard and frustratingly and hard and
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tries to break free from the chain. Now, whether that's kind or not is a different question, but that's what has happened. I want you to think about where have you been chained, especially when we're young, because when we're young, number one, we don't understand the chain, and two, what we experience, we internalize deeply as uh firm and infinite boundaries. I sure did that.
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I, you know, my parents did not set out to be cruel and unusual, but they were. And they instilled in me through the same chain method, the belief that certain things were absolute and right and you couldn't do otherwise. And these things were wrong and absolute and you couldn't do otherwise. You know, that kind of thing. And with the greatest of intention to help me be productive and good in the world and all the rest. Whether they were right or wrong doesn't even matter.
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What matters is, as a kid, we internalize those things as firm steel, concrete, rebar, boundaries and barriers of the universe. So does the elephant. So the elephant eventually stops yanking on the chain because what have they learned? This cannot break. This cannot move. So again, think about your own circumstances and examples.
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later as the elephant grows up from a small elephant to you know however many feet tall and however many tons they don't have to use a chain they use a small stake in the ground and a small rope
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Now, an elephant of the size that it is fully grown could rip the stake out without even trying. Could probably break the rope without too much strain. Yet because of that conditioning, you already know the outcome here. The elephant stays in the boundary. That is learned helplessness. Repeated things taught the elephant.
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and it learned that it is helpless against the rope and the stake even though that is not true. Now when we are young
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We don't have infinite freedom. We're born helpless. Somebody's got to take care of us or we die. And in our childhood, growing up, no matter if it was a kind circumstance or an awful circumstance, we are limited and bounded by things. You know, sometimes kids run away at 13 or 12 or 14 or something to break out and go see. Sometimes we don't, but
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For a long number of years, all those formative years, we learned these boundaries. All right. What happens is the rope for the elephant is actually no longer the restraint. It's no longer the constraint. What is the constraint? Well, the elephant experience and belief. And so from then on, experience and belief have taught that elephant it is constrained period.
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And it doesn't go there. So let's go there. Now. Let's go to people, you and me, right? The most dangerous prison that we live in is the one we stopped testing. So I want you to take a minute right now and think where in your life right now, are you standing inside of a rope? Where have you stopped testing old beliefs?
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When we're young and growing up, you know, depending on the circumstance, we may not have the opportunity to test and get outside those. I'm not talking about that, but I am talking about the minute we get to our own place, we are free. And I mean, placementally, spiritually, physically, you know, the moment we are grown and we see one of the things we don't see
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sometimes because it's uncomfortable is how we have learned to be helpless. And so as I have changed my life and I lived inside that rope till I was 52 and at 52 in the year 2007, some miraculous things happened to me that didn't change all my beliefs and get rid of all the conditioning. But it brought me to a place of seeing
14:00
that something else was possible. It brought me to a realization that those ropes are imaginary and I have been living inside of them as a restraint. Now I'm not talking about midlife crisis or throwing away everything to be wild and crazy and go live some unfulfilled fantasy. I'm talking about the unnecessary limitation
14:30
of your divine gifts, your purpose in the world, the power and ability you have to add good and create things. That is all learned helplessness. And when we frame it that way, it's horrifying. How many people do you know right now that you know, you know, are living inside that boundary of learned helplessness? I had the chance to go.
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Not too long ago to my 50th five zero high school reunion. Wow. Now, you know, the first thing we talked about there was how many people had passed away and weren't even with us anymore. And then I got to meet many and I, you I was in a good size high school, about 20, 2000, 2500 students. So each class was maybe 500, 600 people. So there were a lot of them, a lot of kids.
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And there were a lot. was the reunion was pretty well attended. Maybe a third of them came 100 or 150, fourth of them. And it was interesting to see who had lived their whole life inside of boundaries they had learned before they graduated from high school and who in that group had simply moved to unimaginable places doing incredible things.
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far outside the imaginary boundaries that had been those restraints that had been imposed. And I was so grateful that the dramatic events in 2007 that simply changed my perspective had happened and they were traumatic and dramatic. You know, leading up to that, there was all kinds of addiction and
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even suicide attempts and depression and just an endless repetition of bouncing against those imaginary walls, believing that I was constrained. And in the 18 and half going on 19 years now since those divine interventions, and I call them that because there is no rational explanation for some of the things that happened.
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But when I consider what did happen, it looks very much like a divine creator wanted to expand the horizon and let me see what was possible. And since that moment, I have chosen my calling to be a mirror or a lens or a light to let other people or to help or to invite you to see your own possibilities. Like I was invited.
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Learned helplessness is one of the biggest barriers that holds us by the throat. And so remember the most dangerous prison is the one left unexamined. Ask yourself today, where are you living inside your rope? Now let me give you some examples. Are you making the money you want to? Who says that's all you get? Are you living inside a fulfilling and joyful relationship?
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that you always dreamed of? Who says that's all you get? Are you living inside making the difference you want to in the world? Who says that's all you get? The idea that it's too late or your moment has passed is not true. You know, my wake up call was in 2007, some 18, 19 years ago. And now I'm 70, I feel like I'm just getting started.
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I don't have a sense of too late at all. I have a sense of expanding and beautiful opportunity and I'm not magic or special. You are every bit as powerful, as meaningful and wonderful as I ever could be. And I love every single one of you and invite you with all my heart to answer those questions. Where are you living inside of that learned helplessness? So let's make some
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some clear, let me give you some clear ideas, because sometimes the word learned helplessness sparks this resentful feeling like I'm somehow stupid or wrong because I've learned to be helpless. Well, we have, and it is not weakness. It is not weakness. It is not stupidity. Okay, it's conditioning. We were taught this over and over and over again. And here's when it happens. It happens when
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effort appears not to change the outcome. Like how many times have you said to yourself, New Year's resolution or otherwise, maybe it's about health, wealth, happiness, whatever. I'm going to make this year different. Boom and thumped on the table and nothing happens. So you go to learned helplessness. I can't do it. Obviously, I'm not cut out for this. Some project to work, you were trying to knock out of the park and a bombs.
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Somebody else gets the credit or the promo. Maybe you're in certain situations or have experienced repeatedly where initiative gets punished. You know, the old funny saying, don't ever volunteer. Anybody that suggests an idea gets tasked with it. Oh no, stay small, stay quiet. You don't want to have the extra work. And so that's the framework. Initiative gets punished or boundaries of others get ignored.
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Other people seem to get away with stuff and you get slapped around. All those things are real and I'm not pretending they're there, but how we interpret them is this is not for me. I can't do this. I'm get, I get slapped around. And so what our nervous system, our, our mind, our habits, our body, we get trained trying doesn't matter. Okay. And somehow eventually that turns into, I don't matter.
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I just guess I'm not. That is the definition of learned helplessness. And I say learned because it's not true. Nobody said you are helpless. We learned that from all these circumstances. the invitation is nobody made that rule. We accepted it even after the chain was off.
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And so this is a loving, deep and joyful invitation to re-examine the prison walls that you may have, through that conditioning, accepted for yourself. Okay, this begins the shift from a learned set of behaviors to a sovereign identity. I create my life because I said so.
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I don't care how many signals I've got from others that who I am or what I'm doing doesn't matter. I don't care. I'm going to do this anyway. When I set out after my 2007 wake up call to do something different, I didn't even know what it was. I knew I needed to get healthy. I knew I needed to throw away all those old ropes that were holding me because they were wrong.
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And they were, I was allowing them to limit me in ways that I couldn't, I could no longer tolerate. And it took some time. It doesn't happen in a day because every time you try new things, you bump up against these old beliefs and I call them boundaries because we have allowed them to be boundaries. And every time you feel or I felt, uh I don't know if I dare, instead of fighting with that question, I began asking,
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Where did this thought that I shouldn't try or can't have that, where did that thought come from? Why am I believing that at all? And not in an angry way. Where do you believe it? No, no, no, no. This isn't about try harder, dipweed. It's about a true dialogue. Well, where did that thought come from? What has taken place in my life so that that rope is there?
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And then when you when you look at it that way with love toward yourself like loving yourself fiercely and furiously Then it's like ah I can change that I don't have to believe that anymore and that's suddenly a liberation that feels like nothing else So let's think about where all this comes from. Well, obviously Childhood conditioning, maybe your needs were ignored. Maybe your emotions were dismissed. Maybe you were punished a lot you know, that was a lot of
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Punishment quote in my upbringing that today would be criminal, know felony child abuse kind of stuff and Whether or not that was the norm at the time doesn't even matter It still has that impact and so every time as a Youngster baby elephant all of us we got smashed that pours that conditioning in and so as kids we adapt We reduce our expression. We shrink we watch carefully about where we can be and not be
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Right? And that also then reduces our desire. We no longer feel like we can want things or have them. And that's childhood stuff. And there might be at school, maybe curiosity was punished. I got in trouble all the time at school because I was bored out of my mind. I could read several years beyond my grade level. The schoolwork was easy. And consequently, I didn't take any homework home and still got
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reasonable grades and then I quit trying and so then I got bad grades but I didn't care and then I got smacked around for getting bad grades. Somewhere in seventh grade I decided I needed to get good grades so that all changed but if curiosity is punished whether it was at school or maybe at your work if if compliance just obedience is rewarded boy I lived in that world you were rewarded like crazy if you were just obedient and towed the line.
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Anything outside the line got slapped around. Risk taking was stomped on. Creativity was labeled as disruptive. Outside the lines, somehow not okay. There were a box at a box of boundaries and out of that you are not okay. And then there's cultural conditioning. Okay. And phrases that sit in that kind of thing might be like, well, people like us don't something. I had a client once where we explored this.
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limitation that she'd placed on herself. And she finally realized that due to her own background, she had this fear, I can't outshine. It's not OK if I outshine my parents or, where I came from, all that kind of stuff. I can't be brighter than that. None of that was true, but that was an unconscious cultural piece of conditioning. Another thing that happens is dysfunctional relationships get normalized.
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Well, that's just how it is. Every couple fights, families always do this, that and the other. There's always this or that dysfunction. And we make things that are hurtful or painful normal. And so all of that adds to learned helplessness. I'm not, I'm helpless to get past that. And you know those things, but I'm calling them out because I'm inviting you to think about your own life and see
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where that has or is shaping your boundaries right now, where that chain is still holding you, because it's not real and you're free this moment. I give you that freedom to cut the cord, step outside the box and go do what you want. And it's going to be scary as hell, but do it anyway, because you're better than that. You're more than that. And your love will triumph. All right. So there's a couple other things. Remember that helplessness is rarely
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dramatic. It's incremental. Like all of those things that are poured on us. It's not all at once. A little here, a little there every day. I remember a period of my life as a kid and late, you know, preteen and early teens where I would sit in my room and think, why do I get spanked or beat every day? Like, what is so bad about me? What is so wrong with me that every single day?
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I get smacked around. What is that? And so I internalized it because, you know, those guys, they were big and they were okay and they were right. All right. So that's kids stuff. Now let's talk about how it shows up in adults because as kids, there's not a lot we can do about it. Right. It's, it just happens. And even today when we have a more enlightened view of things and discipline like that's not okay and so forth happens anyway. And you know what? And I know it.
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So let's talk about adults, because when we get out of that, we have the ability like the adult elephant to rip the steak up, but we don't. So let's make it real here and a little bit, a little bit uncomfortable. How about with money? Here's some of the stories. I'm just bad with money.
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How many people have said or believe that or that's just for entrepreneurs. They get to make money and do stuff, but I'm not, I'm not that or investing is risky. don't know anything about that. There's some more stories. How about in health? Well, I've always been this way. My heredity, you know, this, you know, we're just expected to do that. I have a story about that. My grandfather on my father's side passed away of a heart attack when he was about 46.
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And so a lot of years my dad grew up without a dad. My father, his kid passed away suddenly from a heart attack. It's 66. So I did math and I said, well, 46, 66, maybe I get to 86, right? But I had that thought of, well, maybe for me. And it's funny because I was just talking to somebody else right now who's a client that said the same thing, only it was a different kind of health condition.
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And they said, well, my grandpa, my dad, just like I'd done. I thought, how interesting. We make these assumptions. And by the way, I'm going to live till I'm 132. And how I know that is a different story. But anyway, my family's built like this. Another excuse, learned helplessness. Well, it's just too late. I've been like this all my life. So too late.
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Who made that rule? All those things are adult versions of learned helplessness. How about in relationships?
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This is good as it gets. Married couples always fight. People have struggles. All relationships are hard. I can't really expect more. I've got a client right now, late twenties, beautiful couple came to me. Been together about 10 years, nine years, 10 struggling. Disconnection was coming in, you know, thoughts of, you know, I don't know if we can make it all that kind of stuff. All of that has changed.
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There is a return to depth. There is a return to caring, a return to tenderness. All of that is by getting rid of stories. I had that in my years of destruction and failure. had three failed marriages. Now I know it takes two to tango, but when I go back and just look at my behaviors, I owned it. Big parts of it, maybe all of it.
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I did not know how and I was stuck inside of many things, depression, mental illness, feeling like I was supposed to this, a bunch of learned all that stuff and what it was doesn't matter. And I've told the story about those in other places. But the point here is I swallow, swallow, not swallowed, swallowed the swamp, swam in the swamp of this for decades and ruined three relationships. I easily could have said, Oh, I'll never
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Fill in the blank. I never thought I got a song, one of the songs I wrote called I Know You. And you can find it on Spotify if you're interested. I never thought I could find peace or love given where I had been.
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And yet, as a consequence of that re-perspective view in Divine Intervention in 2007, I have now, mean, almost 20 years, a beautiful, supporting relationship that isn't magic, it takes all the work that it takes, but my view is different and I've cut all those ropes. So if I can do this, you can, because I started late, I got nothing special.
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And all I did is follow the things that I'm sharing with you. And that's the reason that I'm sharing them with you. It's because I love you and because I want you to perhaps avoid some of these things. The tragedy that happens isn't the struggle or the hardship or the learning. The tragedy is the decision to stop testing, to stop believing there's something else. Okay. So now I want to talk about the emotional payoff because we've talked about all the symptoms.
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And there's a payoff to every behavior and there's a payoff to learned helplessness. Ah! So what is it? Well, here's where it gets a little edgy because helplessness gives you or me reduced responsibility. I'm not responsible. It's outside me. It gives a reduced risk. I don't have to take that risk. It's not mine to do. That's out there somewhere. Right?
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reduced exposure. When I'm helpless and it's not my fault, then I'm not exposed. Right? I don't suffer the consequences of failure. And it shrinks the possibility of disappointment when I expect nothing and I can't be disappointed. I'm helpless. not mine to do. those are real rewards because climbing out of the swamp or getting out of the habit of learned helplessness
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is risky. It does take work. There is failure. There is exposure. And the rewards are enormous. But we have to be willing. We have to decide to take those risks. And when we've operated in learned helplessness for a long time, that can be scary. But at the same time, you and I both know there is a yearning, a deep yearning of your soul to maximize your worth.
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your impact and to live in that thing I call purpose, prosperity and joy. You know, you feel that and this is your invitation. This is your assurance also that it's available for you, not for special people, because you are that. And if it is only for special people, great. You are special right here, right now. And you won't know unless you get rid of the ropes and quit, you know, quit.
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put being afraid or end the fear of testing those ropes, those old beliefs. Another thing that, and then that's a reward is it protects our ego, right? We don't have to try big. We don't have to try. I can't, I've already decided I'm helpless. We don't have to risk failing publicly. eh We don't have to do that. We don't have to stretch. We don't have to push.
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We don't have to be accountable to anything. One of the things I love about the coaching business is the joy on people's faces where they do stretch a bit and they do try things, even if they fail, because the reward is in the trying itself. You had the courage to try and the courage to go do this. And when you try once, you can do it again. And you don't have to try to hit a home run every time.
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How about if you have a 1 % attitude of less learned helplessness? Just 1%. And if you do that each day, you know, 100 days, little over three months, you're 100 % different. Like it doesn't take gigantic risks. Think about, again, I refer to the Olympics. Think about it just happened. Those people don't improve 100 % in a day or a week or a month.
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a half a percent a day, a half a percent more on weights or in timing or in grace or in remembering routines and actions and skills. Even a half a percent a day, 200 days, six months, you're 100 % better. And those folks, as you know, work for years. So does every artist, so does every musician. Years and decades on their craft.
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Well, you and I, can do that with the craft of being a more loving, kind, powerful human, creating purpose, prosperity and joy. And the invitation is to start now, right this minute, because you can, because you're worth it, because learned helplessness doesn't suit you. Those colors don't look good on you. The cost of living there is dullness, stagnation, right? Quiet resentment, oh man.
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You look at people that have had victories and have done the work, right? And you go, wow, look at them. And then underneath there's envy. I wish that was me. How come I can't have it? Maybe we resent them. Well, they must have had all the good breaks and all the rest of the stories. You are powerful. You can have it. Protection from disappointment is protection.
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against or protection from expansion. Hear that. Protection from disappointment is protection from expansion. Effort is what is required and that means failure. You're gonna fail. So
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As one who's failed a whole bunch of times, trust me, it's not the end of the world. Get up and do it again. Get up and do it again. And all that shame and stuff you thought people were going to heap on you, most of the time it doesn't happen. And even if it does, so what? Most of the time, people are angry or frustrated at you because they're mad because you're trying and they're not. You've decided to cast off the ropes of learned helplessness and they're sitting content right in that swamp. Why would you do that?
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All right, so let's talk about what happens in biology. The brain builds patterns based on repetition. So when we hear things over and over again as a kid, we internalize them and they build patterns. One of the beautiful discoveries of the last 30 or so years is neuroplasticity. What that means is your brain can rewire itself and the old patterns and connections aren't permanent. The old habits aren't permanent.
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You can rewire them. You can build a new path. It takes work and it takes repetition, but you can forge a new path in your brain. So your default is no longer frustration, negativity, blaming, helplessness. Your default is opportunity, possibility, who cares what happened? I'm going to do it again. You can make that your default. So when I describe that and you say, yeah, I could never do that. That's just not true.
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It just means that that pattern isn't your habit isn't worn into your brain. So what if you had learned optimism? What if you had learned resilience? What if you had learned joy? What if you had learned kick ass and go do it instead of learned helplessness? That learning is just that rewiring of the brain. You don't need massive confidence or total clarity or radical courage. You don't need that. You need to, you need a decision to just try this 1 %
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in a new direction. That's all. That's it. 1 % in a new direction. You don't need radical goals and b-hags, big hairy ass goals. You don't need that. You need small, defiant experiments. Small, defiant experiments. Okay, so this defines us and brings us to the escape hatch. Learned helplessness is a set of beliefs. So I'm going to ask you a question. What if those flippant beliefs are wrong?
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What? Yeah, really. What if they're wrong? Like this isn't about fighting the truth of the universe. It's just a belief. What if it's wrong? Like really? Like what if the earth isn't flat? Wow, that means we can sail around it and all kinds of stuff. What if the beliefs we held so dearly are wrong? Then try. Test the ceiling.
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Push a boundary, explore something, try a new thing, go have a hard conversation. And if you fail, have another one and then have another one. You'll find that nothing falls apart, your life doesn't melt down, the roof doesn't cave in, the sky doesn't fall. So take a calculated risk. Do it. Refuse an excuse. I used to use that excuse, I'm not doing it. Ownership, getting rid of learned helplessness is incremental.
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before it is permanent. Remember that. So here is the final things. That rope is not real. It's a belief. Okay. A belief is learned and learn things can be unlearned. You are not powerless. You were conditioned. Conditioning can be taken apart, redone, dismantled, even your habits, an old ingrained
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things you call, that's just the way I am, those can all be unlearned and redone. That's real, that's true, that's science, that's not me just blabbing. My mission is to help you do that. These podcasts are to encourage you and to remind you that you can. My coaching business is for those who want help doing it. If you want to get a hold of me, go to kellenflukegermedia.com, kellenflukegermedia.com, and use the contact form.
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If you have a story about your own resilience, I'd love to share it and have you as a guest on the show. Same place, kellenfookigermedia.com. Use the contact form. Let's unleash the truth. Let's unlearn this helplessness. Let's claim sovereignty and move forward.
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The next episode, we're going to talk about another piece of the learned of the swamp. And that is the second one. Learned helplessness was the first. The second one is addiction. The next one is addiction to mediocrity, that poison that we drink by gallons until it destroys all of our creative potential. All right. In the meantime, understand and know you're divine, you're loved, you're powerful. I don't care what you've learned in the past.
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You can learn a new thing and you can start today. And as you do, I promise you can move forward to create your ultimate life. Right here, right now. uh
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opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenflukegermedia.com. If you want more free tools, go here, yourultimatelife.ca. Subscribe, share.










