Love Is the Leadership Revolution: How Presence Outperforms Power

Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living a dream? It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. Hello there, and welcome to this episode of your ultimate life.The podcast has created to help you create a life of purpose, prosperity and joy by serving with your gifts, your talents, and your life experience. I'd like to welcome Jim Fuller as my guest today. Jim, welcome to the show.

Kellen, thank you so much for having me on your show. It's taken us a little bit to get here, and here we are. So this must be the moment.

It is absolutely the moment. So I'm excited to get a chance to visit with you and most of all to let people know who you are and what you're doing.I don't do introductions on the show because it all comes out in a good way as we talk. So let's start with a question. How is it that Jim Fuller makes a choice in his life to add good to the world, to make stuff better?How do you do that?

Well, there's a couple of questions that I ask myself regularly, and one is what would love do in this situation? What would love do?Now, we've jumped straight into the deep end of, you know, my philosophy around life and us as a species and the direction in which I hope we are evolving, and I hope we are evolving towards more love and less fear. And, you know, that's the game that I'm playing.And I know there's lots of actors out there that are playing on the opposite end of the scale, and that's okay, too.But there's certainly a lot of us, and it seems to me more and more that are playing the game of let's try and tip humanity, you know, in the right direction, which I believe is towards more love and less fear. So that's. That's what I ask myself quite often.

What would love do? So I love that question. I use it also, both in coaching and for myself. So how do you decide?So you're in a situation, pick a situation, tell a real story where you ask that question and it maybe made you do something a little different.Like, I like to get things, you know, kind of rubber meets the road, practical application, because it's easy for us to sit around and talk about woo stuff and kindness and love and all that good stuff. And I believe in that, too, don't get me wrong. But pick a. Pick a situation.Maybe that occurs to you in the last little while where, where you ask that question and maybe it made you change or adjust what you were going to do or say, I know I'm putting you on the spot, but no, that's completely fine.

Oh look, I mean, even just to think about this morning, you know, I met a, I was introduced to a, a man who lives in Mexico a little while ago and, and he and I shared stories and we, we shared openly about our past and, you know, quite vulnerably. And he said, jim, I run a men's group, an international men's group.Would you come and speak to this men's group about sexual anxiety and performance anxiety for men? Because it's a topic that no one talks about, but you know, I think it should be spoken about and I have my own history with that.And, and I said in that moment, I said, you know, of course I say, yeah, sure, this is my speaker fee and this is how it works, etc. And blah, blah, blah. And he said, jim, I can't pay you for this. And it's, it's at 4:00 in the morning, your time. Would you come and do that?And you know, look, we always make these decisions as we move, but in that moment I thought to myself, what would love do?And I felt in that moment that love would serve and that would serve this group of men for me to just come as a fellow man and share and facilitate a safe space for us to talk about these things and for me to share my story.So I woke up at quarter to 4 this morning and I got on a call, an international zoom call with this group of men and sat with them for a couple of hours and shared my story and opened the space for them to start to venture into what is a hard topic for a lot of men to talk about. And so that was a decision that wasn't business, it wasn't making money, it wasn't like, how is this going to get me work?It was a decision that came really from a place of love and service.

That's fantastic. And I, when I asked that question, I mean, we don't prepare and you know that listeners, you know that by a thousand episodes. But it's exactly right.It's exactly right. And what do you think? What do you think that you do?Because so many times we're going to do something or we say we're going to do something and then life happens and then later in the afternoon or tomorrow or something like, oh man, I forgot X. So what do you do to prepare yourself so you remember to ask that question because it's the right question. Your answer was spectacular.And you know, it's 7:30 there as we're recording this. And so four in the morning was three and a half hours ago. So you got up really early this morning to do that.What helps you, you know, like people tie rings around strings around their, you know, to remember things. What helps you remember it? To ask that important question.

Yeah, it's. That's a great question, Kellen. And so I've always loved. I call it habit association.And then James Clear in his book Atomic Habits, called it habit stacking. Same thing that I've been doing it for years. So a new habit that I want to create, I stick it to an existing habit.So, for example, I wanted to create the habit of pausing often. So just to pause in the middle of doing things, stop, pause, breathe for five to ten seconds, and then continue. And I wanted to create this habit.This was about 15 years ago. So I took a sticky note and I wrote on the sticky note, pause. And I put it in different places where I would habitually do things every day.Anyway, so my coffee machine every morning might have a little ritual where I go and grind my beans and I make my coffee just the way I like it. It's a morning ritual for me. Right? Right. So I stick.I put the little sticky note that says pause, and I put it on the container that's got the coffee beans in it so that just as I open the lid on the container, I smell the coffee beans, and I've got a little sticky note that said pause. So I pause, and instead of smelling the roses, I smell the coffee beans. Right?

Right.

Now that was, that was 15 years ago. I don't have the sticky note there anymore. But now there's a habit association, a neural association.Every time I go to open my coffee beans, guess what I do? I pause. I had the same sticky note on the top of my laptop.So every time I'd go to open my laptop, before opening the laptop and coming into the meeting, pause, breathe, and continue. I had one on the inside of my front door of my house, so just before leaving the house, and I had one on the dashboard of my car.So now these places don't have sticky notes anymore. But every time I go to start my car, I pause, take a few breaths, come into the moment, and then continue.And so what that is the pause habit has been specifically helpful because it's now become habitual for me to Pause in moments before making decisions. And that pause I can now insert in there. Hey, Jim, what would love do right now?

I love it. Love. There's the word again. That's a fabulous thing in, in several respects. One, the habit of pausing, the habit of taking space to consider.I mean, we live in a time of rush, rush, rush, hurry up, hurry up, get everything done yesterday and all the rest. What made you decide and now that you've been doing it for all these years, besides having a habit of doing that into which is like a container.You've created an empty container, and you can put in there anything you want. And you put a beautiful question. What would love do? What's another. What's another thing or two?And the reason I'm asking this is because, audience, listeners, I want you to hear this because your ability to realize that it doesn't have everything, doesn't have to hurry up. And in fact, nothing in that nature grows hurry up.It grows at the right speed, at the speed of seasons and at the speed of sunrise and sunset and at the speed of rain falling or clouds moving. That's how the universe, which is perfect, works. And we have inserted this nonsense about hurry up. So I love this habit.What's another thing maybe that you've inserted in that pause container in the last years that has served you really well?

Gratitude, you know, and. And we hear it. Everyone goes, yeah, yeah, gratitude. And the gratitude practice and the gratitude journal and the gratitude. There's a reason.There's a reason that people bang on about gratitude being an immediate hack to a physiological state of being that is of peace and, and, well, being and feeling good. And it uplifts you.It literally, all of the right, you know, hormones get released through your body when you practice gratitude, and you just feel better in that moment. You know, wherever you're at, you feel a little bit better when you practice gratitude.So that's been a, you know, that's been a lovely habit to create an insert into that. That container, the pause container.You know, my friends and family have often said to me, oh, Gemma, you're a bit much with all your gratitude, mate. You're so grateful for everything. It's a little bit much, isn't it? And I'm like, yeah, but I'm of the happiest people I know, right?And gratitude is free. So why. Why would you not? But, you know, it's interesting with the pause habit is that when we pause, I mean, I know you know this.When we pause, we're creating options in terms of we're creating more choice in terms of how we respond. So rather than being reactionary, we just react, react, react, react, which is the place that our ego hangs out, which is fine.But rather than reacting to life, we become better at pausing and responding, and we become actually more response able, which means we become more responsible, you know, for the way that we're showing up and the way that we're choosing to interact with the world around us. And. And that's been such a fantastic habit to create. And I remember the inspiration for this habit.Fifteen years ago, I was at a conference in Sydney, here in Australia, and it was the Global Mindful Leader Forum. And there were great leaders from around the world.You know, the leaders of the World bank and some leaders from the UN and leaders from some of the biggest companies in America, but all leaders who understood the benefit of a mindfulness practice. And one of the keynote speakers got up on stage and he was a short man. He kind of was like a mixture between the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle.But he's.He emanated this beautiful presence, you know, and as he walked onto the stage, the whole auditorium, thousands of people, just went completely quiet, you know, and you could hear a pin drop in the room.And you know, when it's just the right time to hear something, like, you might have heard that before or you've read it before, but it wasn't the right time. It was just the right time for me to hear this man speak. And he said two things that stuck with me. He said, know the work.He was talking about meditation. Know the work, but do the work.And I felt called out in that moment because I'd been dabbling with meditation throughout my life, and I'd been prescribing meditation to my clients, but I didn't have a daily practice. And I felt called out, and I went, whoa, okay, all right, I'm going to do the work. And the second thing he said was, pause often. That's all he said.And I thought, wow, what does he mean by that? And I just took it literally. I just thought, you know what? I'm going to create a habit of pausing often throughout the day.And like you said, Kellen, most of us wake up in the morning.You get up, you rub your eyes, you quickly get out there, you know, you have your shower or whatever, you quickly get dressed, you get the kids ready for school, pack the lunch boxes, get the kids off, and then you race into your car, you go to work. And it's one thing to the next thing to next thing.And then you get home at the end of the day and then you take the kids to sport, and then you come home, you cook dinner, clean the kitchen, get the kids into bed, maybe have a glass of wine and watch some Netflix to try and switch off. And then you fall asleep and then you wake up the next day and you do it all over again. And you haven't stopped once.And we are running on this sympathetic nervous system hyper state of vigilance pretty much most of our lives, you know, and until we switch off with that glass of wine or a movie or whatever. But most of our waking lives we're in this activated state. And it's not healthy, you know, it's not healthy. We need to pause.And what I found with these pause moments, they only take 10 seconds. They become a little micro recalibration back to your state of equanimity, back to your calm center. It's like, ah, that's right. And then continue.And you, you actually are more functional, more productive, more clear, more present in the next thing that you do after pausing, right?So if you pause before going into a meeting with the board, or if you pause before going into a one to one with one of your staff members, if you pause before it, you show up way better in that meeting than you would have otherwise, right?

Yeah, 100%. So you won't get any disagreement from me at all about any of this stuff. Why in the world then?I mean, since this is true and we'll get back to know the work and do the work in a minute, because it applies not only to meditation, but other things. But I want to do this pause.Why have we created a world and do we continue to insist on a world, a socialization and a structure that is so the opposite of what breeds health, relaxes the sympathetic nervous system, makes us more effective in the next conversation and meeting, so that we have to have you, me and whoever else reminding us that that's stupid and not very productive. Like why are we perpetuating?And I know you're speculating here, maybe you think you have exactly the reason why the frick is it so important for us to do stupid things so we have to be reminded.

Yeah, well, there's an answer in that last statement that you just said.But also if we look at it anthropologically, evolutionarily, in terms of us as a species and where we've come from, we have evolved as a species from times of scarcity, when there wasn't enough food, there wasn't enough shelter or there wasn't enough land, and we had to fight and we had to scrape to survive.Now, our wiring, our old human wiring, is still back in the past, but times have changed, you know, through technologies and whether it was farming or the Industrial revolution, and now with artificial intelligences, and we're in a. In a situation now where if we. Excuse me for swearing, but if we got our shit together, we could create complete abundance. If we. If we can.If we could orchestrate the technologies we've got access to now, let alone in the next five years when AI starts solving some of the bigger problems, we could feed everyone on the planet. We just haven't figured out how to orchestrate that yet. Right? So abundance is right here in front of us, but our old wiring hasn't caught up to that.So we still run a scarcity pattern. I got to produce more. I got to do more. I got to beat that person. I got to climb the ladder. I got to. Da. Da. I've gotta. I gotta. I gotta.Hang on a second. No, you don't. No, you don't. You know, and that also just.I know I'm going into the next part of the conversation, Callum, but when I'm coaching my clients now and showing them how they can use an AI, that saves them several hours of a particular task. So they go, wow, I just did that in five minutes. That used to take me two hours. And then I say, now pause.Rather than going to the next thing on your to do list. You've got an hour and 55 minutes now that you didn't have last week. You've got it now.Stand up, leave your desk, go and find someone, another human being that's important to you, and spend some time in relationship, in human to human relationship. Go and have a coffee together, go and sit down and have lunch. Ask them how they're feeling. Ask them how their family is.Ask them, like, connect human to human. Slow down. You don't need to produce more, you need to connect more. That's what I'm thinking.

That's a perfect next part of the conversation, because, you know, when smartphones came out, they're more connected. And we know from all kinds of evidence that we're more isolated. So we're more connected and more isolated at the same time.You know, you see it, kids standing next to each other, texting instead of talking, and they're texting to each other, right? I mean, that kind of stupidity you actually see.And I've seen articles about that, and there's A there's a resistance, especially since we've developed those habits of isolation and Covid didn't help, but we've created this isolation until there's really a fear that has developed of true face to face interaction.I think there's some of that that we're going to have to fix because at the end of the day we're really social creatures and we're really built to love and serve each other. I mean our physical neurotransmitters fire when we do that. Our spiritual neurotransmitters.I'm convinced that there's some kind of energetic or spiritual analog to dopamine and anandamide and oxytocin and everything. We just don't know the names of it yet. Right, yeah. So what are we going to do about this isolation? Because your advice is really good.You have an hour and 50 minutes or whatever it is a long time you didn't have. Instead of producing, go develop, nurture a different thing. Instead of nurturing your to do list, nurture your humanness.

Yeah.

How are we going to help people actually do that thing? I know one to one or in groups when we coach, we can do it. But my yearning is to figure out how we.This AI revolution is going to change things faster than we can even breathe. So how do we take advantage of that instead of getting buried by it?

Yeah, well, you know, you and I can, can only do what we can do and I mean even just having this conversation is important.You know, you dedicating so much of your life to having important conversations with people and sharing them, you know, that, that's, that's a way of doing it and you know, any of us that feel called to try and help play our part to help humanity in the right direction and I believe the right direction and quite possibly, and I don't know what the outcome of this whole next five to 10 years is going to be.I don't think anybody does, but I'm an optimist and so I'm hoping that AI will actually give us the time to have some sort of existential crisis of meaning of well, if I'm not needed 9 to 5 to do that thing, what's the purpose of life?And we come back to, oh, it's relationship, it's community, it's in person, shared felt experience, it's sharing stories around the fire, it's pulling out the guitar and singing together. It's, it's what we used to do before the industrial revolution a lot more than what we do now.And I'm hoping that we have a flourishing of humanity in that way. And so to answer your question of what can we do to catalyze that, keep speaking about it.But for you as a listener at home, just start locally, spend more time with your loved ones, spend more time with your community. Reach out to the friends of yours that you hardly ever speak to because life got so busy.Pick up the phone and just say, hey, I was thinking about you. I just wanted to say hi, see how you are, tell you I love you. You know, make an effort to reach out and connect.Because we know from the, the longest pieces of research on humans, namely the, the Harvard research on adult development, which has been going for 90 odd years, the most resounding finding from that research is that the quality of our life is directly correlated to the quality of our relationships, right? Not how big your business was, not how many houses you had. None of that how good were your relationships equals how good was your life.So let's take that understanding that we have and invest time in nurturing our relationships.

So that's really good because like you said, right time when you were at that conference. We've heard this before. Nobody on their deathbed wishes they'd spent more time at the office. Duh, right?And so we hear that thing and we go, yeah, I gotta spend some more time in relationships.But it isn't until we have what you said, some kind of existential crisis or something that crams our own mortality or some of that realization down our throats that we actually do anything about it. So yeah, I wanna, I wanna switch now. I want to give you a chance to tell our listeners what you do. You've given some hints about.You talk about clients and helping people and instilling habits in yourself that you do. You've talked about a couple gratitude and pausing and the benefits for that.Tell me a little bit about the business and what you do in a. Yeah, tell me, tell me what you.

Do day to day. So the overarching phrase that people can, you know, kind of box or pigeonhole is leadership coach.And I specialize in communication, so I help leaders communicate more effectively. Why I love that is because I love humans. I can't help it. I just love us, the crazy, crazy species that we are.You know, with all of our bits and bobs, all of our stuff. I can't help but love humans. And, and I love it when humans get along. You know, it doesn't mean agree.I'm not saying you have to agree with each other on everything.But when humans can get better at leaning in, letting go of the fear and leaning in with curiosity and seeking to understand, and then working together because we're a team's animal. We only came off the savannah plains and survived the lions and tigers because we figured out how to work in teams and communicate.That's why we exist as a species. We're a social creature. We need each other. You know, and Covid made that very, very clear to us.The depression and anxiety and suicide rates when people were forced into isolation went through the roof. We don't do well in isolation. I mean, there's exceptions to the rule. Some people go and sit in a cave forever, but that's an exception to the rule.Generally speaking, we need each other.And so I'm fascinated in how do we work better together, how do we find the common goal, whether it's in a corporate or whether it's in a small business or whether it's in a community.And how do we communicate and build a culture of agreed values, you know, agreed mission and vision, you know, agreed way of being so that we can achieve something good together. So that's the bread and butter stuff. I work with leaders. What that's actually spread out to as, you know, as a coach.I mean, of course there's the books and the online courses and the, you know, the group stuff that I do and the one to one stuff that I do.But essentially where that's got me to now, which is what really lights me up the most, is the high ticket experience we do in the Himalayan mountains in India, out of a village which has been my second home for 30 years.And that's then led to us being gifted some land in the forest, in the Himalayan mountains by the temple, which is my family home over there, we've been gifted some land and we're about to build a non profit meditation retreat sanctuary on this land.And we will be sponsoring to fly in senior leaders from five sectors in different countries to provide a transformational experience for them so that they're changed and intrinsically motivated to go home and embed into their structure and their systems a formula that we have for how we can do what we do as professionals, as people, through the lens of love. How can I show up and do what I do through a lens of love? What does that actually practically look like?So that's our nonprofit, which we've just formed, called the center of Love. And then on top of that, the most exciting thing for me in the last few months is I've just brought together 12 founders of global movements.Most of them are nonprofit, but some are for profit, but positive impact. 12 founders of Global movements that are fueled by love, trying to make a positive difference in the world.And my idea was that if I bring them together as the center of Love alliance, the 12 founders, that we can amplify and multiply each other's work. So we came together for our first virtual roundtable just a few weeks ago. We added up the impact that we've already had as a group.And we've already directly impacted 15 million lives around the world, from India to Europe to America and Australia. And I put it to the group and I said, look, I think we should 10x that in the next three years. And they all agreed.So, as a group of 12 movements, we've decided to aim for 150 million lives to positively impact in the next three years. And that's the center of Love Alliance. And. And it's exciting, man. It's. It's really exciting. But that's the non profit that doesn't pay me any money.That's just my passion. Right.

You know, it's interesting.I know you're not quite done with the story, I think, but I just want to note for me and for the audience, the energy around your face, the way you describe those words, the language and the movement, even the physical movements, and the way you say that it's clear that it's near and dear to your heart. And I mean, that's a cliche. It's important, it's meaningful.It carries the energy of growth and change and back to where we started right at the beginning, love, which is the foundation of everything. What? So now I have a. Were you going to say more about that? Did I interrupt you?

No.

Okay, cool. So now my question is this. That's magic. 30 years at a thing in the Himalayas, getting gifted some stuff, creating the center of love.I mean, that's the stuff of a movie, right? So you need to get a book written about that. You need to write, you know, create a movie. You do. This is not. This is not something to just nod and do.So this is saying, what is the journey? So my next question is you, Jim, you didn't fall up that mountain.So I want you to talk to me about the choices and the journey of yourself that brought you to the place where you could create in real life 12 leaders coming together or 330 years of a Himalayan retreat. Like, what are some of the choices and experiences that have helped you up that Mountain, because like I said, nobody falls up the mountain.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that, that particular location, which is a very, very special place on the planet.If anyone's heard of Mount Kailash, Mount Kailash is in Tibet. And Mount Kailash is considered the crown chakra of the Chakra system, the energy meridian system of the, of the Earth.And Mount Kailash is considered the crown chakra.And from Mount Kailash come four of the biggest rivers in the world, including the Ganges and the Yangtze up into China and the Indus and, And these rivers provide life to. I can't remember, Kellen, I think it's like a quarter of the Earth's population or something.

Yeah, it would be if it's India and China. I mean, that's right, 3 billion right there, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this mountain is a very holy mountain to a lot of people. And the village that I didn't just fall up the mountain too, but I got to.And I'll share that story in a sec. Is quite close geographically, quite close. It's in the same region of the Himalayan mountains. So it's a very energetically incredible place.I was in my late 20s, mid to late 20s. I had my first existential death of ego crisis, identity crisis.I was living in squats in London and I had a broken heart and I'd been an anti establishment punk living in squats and you know, screw the system kind of thing. Anyway, I ended up back in India. And India for me was a bit of a holy grail.You know, it was like this magical, mystical place for me back in the 90s. And I'd ended up back in India, but really lost, very lost. And so I ran an experiment. And this was the choice that you're asking about.I made a choice to run an experiment. I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.I was just coming out of reasonably severe drug addiction and had come out clean, but lost. And so I ran an experiment and I said, you know what? I'm not going to have any design on the future at all. As in not even tomorrow.I'm not going to plan. I'm going to let go and surrender to not knowing who I am, where I'm going or what I'm doing.And what ensued was a year and a half of the most magical tapped in flow ever. By this full surrender, everything just flowed in a way that's hard to explain, but was like being in flow state but for an extended period. Of time.And that doesn't mean everything was easy, you know, I had a serious motorcycle accident in that time. But then I had a miracle healing from this motorcycle accident. You know, I had all of the stuff, but it was in flow state.When I was in the south of India, I met this old hippie, old John English guy. He's not around anymore. And I met him and we used to smoke weed together down in the south of India, down in south of Goa.And Goa was like the party state, right?Anyway, when we were saying our farewells after hanging out for a month or two, he said to me, jem, if you're ever up in Himachal Pradesh, mate, if you're ever up in the mountains, if you ever go near a village called Naga, go up to the Krishna temple and come and find me. That's me home. Come and find me. And I was like. And I wrote in the. In my journal, old John Krishna Temple, Naga.Six months later, I'm on a bus going up the mountain. And this is back in the 90s, right? This was before email, right?

Before. Anyway, there was no Internet. Hey, I'm looking for you.

Yeah, no Internet.And I'm sitting on this public bus and I'm going up this valley in Himachal Pradesh, and I. Licking, I look in my Lonely Planet travel guide book at the map, and I saw on the other side of the river, I saw this town, Naga. Oh, Naga. That rings a bell. Why does that ring a bell? I flick through my journal, I go to the back of my journal, and sure enough, there it is.Six months before, I'd written, old John Krishna Temple, Naga. So I got off the bus and I hitchhiked across the river.And this is on these, you know, these suspension swinging bridges across a big Himalayan river.

You hitchhiked across a swinging bridge?

I walked over the swinging bridge, and then I hitchhiked.

I just wanted to get clear. Big old bridge with cars on it. Okay, yeah.

Oh, yeah, no, they have. They have them too. They have them too. But anyway, so I got across to the other side, and I start asking people, krishna Temple.And they're like, hanji Upper, upper. They're saying, go up, go up. I'm walking up this village. It's on the side of a Himalayan mountain, right? I'm walking up Krishna Temple, Hanji.I get up to the top of the village, and then there's just forest. And then this one old lady, she points to this little track in the forest, and she just points.So I start walking up this track in the forest and now it's coming to the end of the day and it's starting to get dark. And I'm in the forest on the side of a mountain. I didn't know where I was.And I walk for 45 minutes and I come to a clearing and there's this ancient old temple, Krishna temple, and a little house nearby and a barn with a cow in it and a young 16 year old girl milking the cow. And she comes out from milking the cow with a pail with the milk in it and she says, namaste. And I said, namaste, Namaste.And I said, john, John Idahey. As in john, is he here? I spoke a bit of Hindi, right? And she says, hanji, like, yes sir, Johnny is here. And she calls out, oh, John.She calls out, right? And this old English hippie comes tottering. He's stoned. He was always stoned.He came tottering out of this little cabin and he came out, he said, hello, hello. It was just starting to get dark and I said, john, it's Jem, Aussie gem from. From down south. And he goes, oh, hello, mate, you made it.Come on, I'll put the kettle on. And he took me inside and I ended up staying that time. I stayed for a month and then I went and did a bit more traveling.Then I came back and lived there for another three or four months and they adopted me and they became my family and they've been my Himalayan family ever since. And we've built a small school there and I've been taking retreats there for 15 years. And they know my wife now my family.And that was the start of it all. So that's how I fell up that mountain.

What a spectacular story. And I re. I reiterate the story and the consequences and the choices. Oh, that should.You've just shared it with me and all the people that have heard this. But what a story about choice and consequence and making choices about who we are.And you said that period was guided and I guess with experiences like that, it was. That's amazing. So what do you think's going to happen with your 12?I know you can't predict the future, especially when things are changing as fast as they are.150 million people, like, I understand numbers like that because, you know, I've set really large targets for myself to try to reach people with messages and all that stuff. So what are you guys going to do? What is the. What. What would love do in actualizing that commitment?

Yeah. And you know, for me, this Is the. The place my mind loves to hang out is in the weaving of worlds and, and seeing how these things can.Can come to be. And what would love do?Is the question that I keep asking the group that we've recently formed, but already since just coming together in the last few weeks, one of the founders in the group is keynote speaking at the Vatican in a few weeks in Rome at a global humanitarian event at the Vatican. And we've put together something for her to speak about and so she's going to mention the center of Love Alliance.So we're getting our first public launch at the Vatican, of all places, which is great. And then to. To weave the world. So, for example, one of the founders has a global tech platform that facilitates good conversations.And what they're doing now is that they are creating a list of people like you, actually, Kellen, and I'll put you in touch with my friend. She's in Canada as well.

Oh, cool.

So am I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll put you in touch with her. You might have already met her, but I'll put you in touch with.So her platform, her mission is to get a million speakers into a million classrooms around the world. So the virtual classroom where they have a screen and the teachers go onto a menu of speakers and can pick speakers.And people like you and I have gifted a couple of hours a year only, or 10 hours a year we've gifted. And the teacher can book you and zoom you into their classroom so that the kids in that classroom can hear the story of Keller, right?So this tech platform already exists. She's already doing it globally. She wants to go bigger million kids in a million classrooms.So now I've introduced her to my friend in India who's built more than 7,000 schools and put more than 7 million kids through education, right? So, boom, there's an automatic connection.Then I've got another friend of mine who, another one of the founders who's got three and a half million mums around the world. And so the three and a half million moms, there's at least three and a half million kids there, right?And then I've got her in touch with the seven million students guy. So there's seven million mums there. So I'm weaving all these worlds together. And then there's the.My friend Scarlett who's, you know, built the Choose Love curriculum for kids, and that's been downloaded in 132 schools.So now we've got a curriculum, a Choose Love curriculum that we can Plug into a global platform that we can plug into 7000 schools in India for a start. That we can plug into a global community of mums. Right. So this is how my mind goes.

So, listeners, if you're not stoked by hearing Jim talk about these possibilities, and here's the thing, he just told you that he started from a place of having his own struggles. Living in squats, he called it. And I'm assuming that means in not very good circumstances. I don't know that word.But you know, he mentioned addiction to drugs, and that's certainly a world familiar to me. So if, if he can come from that place and decide, I'm going to make choices that feel energetically good. And he said, surrender.And surrender is not abdication. Surrender is not giving up. It's giving in to the urges and. And the nudges within your heart because you're a divine being.And you just heard a narrative about how these things weave together. And so if you have the story that you can't do your version of that, it's not true, you can. And you can start today because this day is the best day.Yesterday is not available and tomorrow's not here. So today is the day. What a fabulous story. And thank you for that marvelous example of excitement.I'm going to ask you a completely different question. So you spend a lot of time, personal development, helping others yourself. Inserting, pause, inserting gratitude. And I love that I.When I talk about gratitude, you know, anything fast isn't appropriate. Gratitude is a slow permeation of our body with that sense of gratitude.And when I talk to people about that, I experience gratitude all the way through. That's what changes you. Anyway, side detour. I want you to tell me with all that work, talk to me about the relationship you have with your wife.

Oh, what a lovely question. I can. Even for people who are watching this. There you go. I'm just going to move my screen up.That picture up on the wall behind me, that's my beautiful wife, Talia. That's the two of us up in the Himalaya mountains where we run our retreats together. I feel so lucky at having a second shot, a second chance.I feel really lucky. And Kellen, when you and I first met and you shared your story with me, you know, it resonated with me for lots of reasons.And one of the main reasons that resonated with me is that that you slash divine, slash universe, the whole thing you gave, you gave yourself a second chance and you didn't waste it. And that's how I feel with. With Talia. You know, I've been married before and had kids and.And I messed it up, you know, but I didn't know what I was doing. I don't. You know, it was all meant to be, apparently, because it happened, but I just didn't know what I know now. And I.And I also hadn't built the deep relationship with self that I built before meeting Talia. So before Talia showed up in my life, I'd been.I'd lost everything, lost my job, my marriage, my house, had that midlife crisis thing, which was a midlife remembering or a midlife awakening for me.But I went to work on the relationship with myself, dedicated every single day, many, many hours every day to repair that relationship with myself and to develop the neurology and the energy of self love.Once that had started to work, and I started to actually brainwash myself into believing that I was good enough and that I deserved love, and I actually started to believe it. That's when Thalia showed up. And we attract someone according to the level that we're at, right?So I attracted someone that was at that level with me.And together we've been beautiful, each other's halves, creating this whole of reflection back to ourselves, of ourselves in such a beautiful, safe, vulnerable, and conscious way that we've continued the evolution together.And I've been really lucky enough to explore my version of functional masculine, and she's been allowed to surrender into her version of functional feminine. And together, it's just been really stunning, really beautiful.And I was just messaging her before jumping on your show with you and just gratitude of how grateful I am that we got put together in this lifetime, you know, and in this moment, and how grateful I am for her. And this is daily. We express this to each other daily. So I feel very blessed, very lucky.

I ask you that because there's so many people that, you know, I interview, mostly one at a time. I've got a new little third episode a week that I'm now interviewing coaches to talk about coaching and the rise of AI.I just finished a book called Coaching in the Rise of AI and exploring what that's happening with that, and that'll be out in a couple weeks. But anyway, thank you for sharing that, because so many people do their thing and they show up as powerful or impressive in some way.And the truth is, they are not the embodiment of the truth they teach. And consequently, their relationship, either with themselves, their family, or their other half, their.Their Significant other is in tatters, and it is. It's a disaster. I didn't know all the.I did know some of what you said because you shared with me some of that when we talked before, but not very much.And so I wanted to give you the chance with that warmth and tenderness that you showed, to talk about the completeness of evolution, because it isn't complete until we love ourselves deeply.And if at this moment, we happen to be with another person in partnership, until they are truly in partnership and there is love and kindness with us in that relationship and mutual support. So you described it beautifully, and that was fantastic. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, thank you.I mean, and we run our retreats together, and the feedback that we get from the clients that come away with us is always a version of the same thing, which is. There's just something so complete and held about having you both hold space for us while we go on retreat and walk through the mountains.You know, I'm. I'm there facilitating most of the content. Talia's there, and she does this beautiful, grounded, mother energy holding.She just holds space for people, you know, and it. And people, as we're going through retreat, people just feel drawn to her.They go to her and they just want to sit with her and share themselves and talk, and it's. It's really quite beautiful. So. So there's. There's that and. And something you just reminded me of.I remember I was in the room as a student at the school where I studied coaching many years ago, and the facilitator said something that triggered me, because this is when I was back in my past marriage, and my marriage was not great. It really not great, but I was pretending to the outside world, my life was an Instagram feed.You know, I had a great job, and I'm here, and I've got this beautiful wife and I've got my kids. And it was all like a veneer, you know, but at home, it was toxic and hard and not healthy.And the facilitator, the teacher, said that relationship that you go home to is the most important relationship. And if it's not healthy, you can't go out into the world and do your best work.And I got triggered by that, because my relationship wasn't healthy, but I was pretending that it was. And it wasn't until I found myself in this relationship that I'm in now, the one with self first and then with Talia, that I really got it.And I'm like, wow, they were so right. The most important Relationship is the one you go home to.And when that is flourishing and connected and safe, then you can go out and be the best version of yourself in the work that you do in the world, you know?

So we're about out of time. I'm wondering. What? Didn't I ask you that you're dying to let everybody know. Wow.

What am I dying to let everyone know?

Well, I don't know dying, but whatever you want to talk about. And then tell people where to find you and how to get a hold of you and how to get a bit more gem.

Yeah. Look, there's one thing that has been really helpful for me to keep remembering, and that is that you made it. We made it. You've made it now.In this moment, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. You are precisely the version of you that you're supposed to be in this moment.And even if it's hard and tough right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be now, not where you're going in the future now. And the acceptance of I am enough just the way I am, and I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be in this moment, just the way I am. And how do I know that?How do I know that's true? Because reality told me, right? Because it is reality. Right? Because it is so. It is so. There we go. So apparently I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be.And there's liberation in that acceptance. You know, that's the thing I wanted to share and how people can find me.Jam Fuller Jem with a J j e m fuller.com Jam Fuller on Instagram Jam Fuller on LinkedIn Jam Fuller. You'll find me. There's a couple of TEDx talks you can look at, the book the Art of Conscious Communication. You can go and find I'm.I'm approachable, dude. I'm not one of these people that is, you know, famous and too busy and never gets back to you. If, if you shoot me an email, you'll get a reply. So.So reach out if you want to reach out and have a conversation with me.

Jim, thank you. I appreciate your energy, your truth.And you're clearly energized also, just because you are who you are, but also your time with that group this morning was a fabulous entree to our. Our episode this morning. So thanks for being here with me today.

Thank you so much for having me on your show, Matt. I really appreciate it.

You bet. I want you. Oh, this has been so good. So so go back and listen. Listen to the journey.Listen to the choices, and most of all, love yourself enough to listen to the nudges. Because those nudges will lead you in the direction to create your ultimate life.

Open your heart. And this time around, right here, right.

Now, your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.If you want to know more, go to kellenfluekermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. Your Ultimate UltimateLife ca subscribe share.