You’re Not Broken — You’re Buried Under Other People’s Beliefs

Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living a dream? It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power, and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power.Hello there, and welcome to your ultimate life, the podcast that we've created to help you create a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy by creating and serving with your gifts, your life experience, and your skills. I'm excited today to have a special guest, Dr. Dorothy Martin Neville, and I will not say that all at all in the rest of the show.So, Dorothy, welcome to the show.

Thank you. It's great to be here.

Well, I'm excited. I don't do introductory stuff. I just start talking to you and your genius and capabilities will come out as we. As we do the show.So can you tell me what made it interesting for you to want to be on this podcast? I know you've done other shows. This is a particular one. What made you say, I want to do that?

Yeah, yeah. I tend to do three or four a week, actually. But yeah, this one here with one. I truly appreciate who you are.You know, getting to know you over the past nine or ten months has been quite an adventure. And watching your own development as you tell the stories, as you.As you share who you are, says to me, I want to spend more time with him and I want to share more of who I am and what I do with the world because it resonates with so much of what you talk about.

Well, good. I'm glad that we're here and glad we get to do this. So tell me, who are you and what do you share with the world?

Golly, who am I? A really vibrant, alive woman who really chooses to live this life and not survive it. That's basically it. And what do I share with the world?The realization that I've discovered over the course of my journey so far is. Is that this is truly a spiritual trip we're on.This is a spiritual journey, and it really is about my own life purpose or all of our lives purposes of becoming. That better version of ourselves, to me is we're already there, but it's not an evolution.It's unveiling that, you know, that we already are the best version of ourselves, but it's almost like an onion we put over all of that.The stories we tell ourselves, the defenses we create, the wounds we've created within ourselves, the wounds we keep repeating and repeating within ourselves because of our belief systems and the defenses we develop the masks we wear, the Personas we develop and all of this so that the essence of who we truly are doesn't get to shine. So to me, that's very much of.We have an awareness so frequently when I speak to some of my clients that I'm not lying, but I'm really not being who I am. There's so much that's not coming out. There's so much that I'm not sharing, and I don't know what that's about.And so I help them see that, because my belief is that if I can support you discovering who you are, rediscovering what you've lost. You know, many of the leaders I work with, I work with highly successful leaders. They have been so focused on success.They have been so focused on achieving whatever it is in their mind's eye. Right. That they go out there and they have been.They started out in their 20s or 30s, full of vision, full of excitement, full of passion, some image of their life unfolding. And they got hooked into success, whatever that means. And that the vision ended up being outward.It ended up being outward, looking at what success going more and more, granting more and more success, more and more, whatever. And then they get there and realize there's a whole lot missing. And they try to fill that vacuum with other men or women or other.Whatever it may be, or drugs or alcohol or something, or workaholism, whatever it may be. And none of that's going to touch it, because what's really missing is the them that they lost way back there when they were so busy focusing on.On simply the external. Because we need. I want them to have great wealth.I want them to have great sex success, whatever that means to them, because it means something different to everybody. But I really want to support them having themselves in that process.

You know how you mentioned layers of an onion and I started thinking about crying, cutting up onions anyway, as you peel layers back. But anyway, not. Not really. Just teasing. So what I'm hearing is at an earlier age sometime we have a vision of possibility.And that vision of possibility is not yet fully contaminated with everybody else's stuff, the other, the world around us. And gradually, as we move forward, we trade or we cover things that we believed at one point were important, necessary, or useful.We cover it with someone else's definitions, externalities and those kinds of things. And even if you get to the top of the ladder you're climbing, you said, wow, I'm here. And so what?And it feels like only a Few pieces of the puzzle are there. I've lost some, I've left some Where? And why in the world is that?So, like, how did we get to this place where the commonly understood definitions of success, money, power, position in notoriety, whatever it is, are so vacuous?

They're wonderful gifts if you're present with it. They're only a hindrance or a burden if you're not present in the midst of all of it. And how does that happen?When for most of us, not all of us, but for many of us as kids, we're taught not to trust our own knowing. You know, I don't. I don't like this. This classmate. Well, they're really a good kid. You have to learn to enjoy them, all right? Or I don't like this.Whatever. Well, then this. You're going to have to learn to like it.You're going to have to basically ignore what you think, ignore what you feel, and you're going to do it the right way. And I put that in quotes, the one right way to do everything in life is out there, right? So you're going to have to do it the right way.And so we start questioning, is our way the right way? Is it the wrong way?And then we learn to disassociate from what we know intuitively, to trust the older, more experienced experts who truly aren't right. And so by the time we start in, you know, a teenage years, just comes defiance against everybody.Anything and everybody is wrong because we're the smartest people on the planet. And that goes for a few years where we're the smartest people, people on the planet, and the rest are old and dumb.But then we start coming into our own.But when we start coming into our own in our 20s or 30s, there's that combination of can I trust my own inner knowing or should I trust what the experts are telling me? Where do I, how do I, what do I. And then there's an uncertainty that starts to develop that wasn't there early on when.When people were telling you the right way.And then as a teenager, there's no real certainty because you're trying to prove you know everything, but you're filled with fear of everything, all the hormones and everything else that's going on inside of you that when you finally get a chance to do it, you've got all these messages, these mixed messages running around inside of you. And you pick something theoretically safe. And when you go with safe, you end up getting lost every step of the way.

Well, I Certainly. I'm sorry, go ahead.

And that was it. Safe doesn't work.

Yeah. I certainly, personally, in my own journey, resonate with that story of, you know, not trusting, not being allowed to trust.Being told that everything you think or do, everything in quotes, is wrong or shortcoming or whatever. And then so you don't trust.And since you have to have some kind of an anchor, you adopt parents, teachers, religion, whatever it is that that must be, they must be right, because I've been repeatedly told I'm not. So one of the things that always fascinates me is I understand what you've said. I agree with the work that you do completely. I support it.What is it that made.You made that work of helping people uncover, peel the onion critically, think about all these opinions, and then make your own thinking and decisions? What made that become really important for you?

Yeah, what. It was important to me because of my upbringing. As you know, we are the greatest gift we bring to the people we work with.Who we are more than what we've learned academically, is really the most important part of it all. And I grew up in an orphanage, and then I was adopted and raised in the projects.I was raised in the inner city in Boston, and even there, I remember in high school, I wanted to date a boy from outside of Southie, and his mother said, you'll never date a girl from over there. We're better than that. You don't do that. You don't date girls from that top part of town. And it was like, oh, there's something wrong with me.There's something wrong with me. I didn't realize other than the fact that I knew I had been spending a lot of time in detention.But detention was usually about writing notes and getting caught or speaking in line while we're waiting in line to go to lunch or do something. So my crimes were so innocent, you know, that I didn't believe there was something wrong with me.But so those are just messages I got that, you know, let's, you know, you have to learn how to behave if you're going to succeed, you have to learn how to behave. And my father's expectation was I would graduate from high school and get married immediately and have. Give him 20 grandchildren.And I thought getting married and having 20 kids sounds great, but I want something more. I want to do something in addition to that. I want to have an impact on the world.I want to have an impact on the people who live like I lived in the projects. I wanted them to know that they've got options. I don't know why I thought they had options. I just intuitively knew, we don't have to live like this.We don't have to live amongst alcoholism and physical violence every night. We don't have to do this. There's other ways to do this. And I just wanted something more. And my life led me down that path to always.I don't want to say go against, but to define for myself. I didn't want to follow my father's vision for my life. I want my mother's vision.She said, become a waitress until you get pregnant, and then you just stay home and raise your children. And I thought neither one of you have a view that matches what I want for me, right? And so that really began a journey for me of how do I do this?What does this look like? How do I discover whatever that is? And how do I discover the girl who's so powerful and yet so insecure at the same time?How do I discover all of this to create a life that feels like Mayan? And that became my journey.

One of the things that's interesting, that is true, but only 100% of the time, and that is what you've just described, is you having a desire. I don't want to do what dad says. I don't want to do that and feel right. I don't want to do. My mom doesn't feel right.I want to find what feels right for me. And so you did. You went against. Went with whatever you. You. You search to find out what was working for you.And that led you to a position where you created the sovereignty you own, the sovereignty that you already had. But to make choices about creating your life, that's great. And so you could say, well, I solved it for me.The question that I want to go with next is, that's great. You fixed. You. What made it so important and fixed is sort of a relative term, but I mean, you took that control.What made it so important to help other people with that? I mean, you could have just said, well, I'm good now. I got this figured out. I can do what I want with my life. Why did that then morph into.And I'm going to help everybody else with this? Like, what happened?

I think what happened is that as I, you know, there's an irony in all of this, that the way I gained independence away from living, finding out that journey for me was I left high school when I used to hang on street corners with gangs and hang on places. This is the inner city that my way of getting out. And it wasn't reform school or prison like some friends, or Vietnam like some friends.I ended up becoming a Catholic nun. And because that was my way out, I couldn't go to college, couldn't go to nursing school because I went to an unaccredited inner city high school.So no nursing school in the country could accept me. And I found out nuns do social work. And I thought that is what I can do is to help others make it out, help others get into a different environment.And so I entered religious life and discovered in silence, because we spoke one hour a day, discovered in the silence of me I never knew existed. This wasn't so much about service. I discovered in the silence that I had strengths I never knew I had.And for the first time in my life, I felt completely valued. My mother, superiors, my sisters, they all had respect for me and asked my thoughts, asked my opinions. They didn't tell me what my thoughts were.They asked me what my thoughts were, which is a very different approach. And in discovering me, I never knew I had. It opened up a completely different world view of what this journey is all about.And when I ultimately, they sent me to college, I couldn't go to college as Dottie Martin, but as Sister James Marie, somehow Mother Superior said, I'm sending you to college. And those mother superiors were very intimidating.That even the deans of universities, if Mother said, I'm sending Sister James Marie over there, the dean would say, yes, Mother Superior. And I went in. And so this Sister James Marie could get a degree, whereas Dottie Martin couldn't. And.And it ended up that when I left, I went back to Southie, and my friends were gone. They're dead, or they were on welfare and still living in the projects. And I had nothing in common anymore because I had been through college.And I had a very different worldview that was much more expanded. It was more global.And rather than sticking in a very small mindset of people talking about people, so I talked about ideas, I talked about possibilities. I talked about different things. And so I became an international airline studist.And I found out when I was flying around the world over a million miles and that people were turning to me and saying, you. You have a sense of something. What is it? And how do I get it? Where did you get that?And I started realizing, you know, in my innocence, you think if I learn something, the whole world knows it. If I think this, of course everybody thinks this way. I started realizing not everybody has discovered that Self they never knew existed.Not everybody has discovered it. And I felt so alive and so free with it. And they were coming into the galley to speak to me with so many wounds. I thought, how can I help?How can I help them overcome those wounds? How can I help them give up those judgments of themselves and. And really be filled with joy and live life?And that really began a whole other way of looking at things for me, a whole other way of approaching life, that if I could help them. And, you know, my thought was, I'm not trained. I'm not qualified. I'm a social worker. I had worked at residential treatment with teenagers.You know, I hadn't worked with adults. How can I. What can I do that?Because I was still in the mindset that you need to have certifications, you need to have degrees, you need to have all of these things to be qualified to do this. But I saw that I was really helping people drop burdens that there was no need for them to carry.You know, whether it was abortions they had or fears with married men or women they had been involved with or it's like, why did. What is wrong with that? If you believed that it was okay, why. But I don't know that I believed it was okay. Well, let's look at.What are your belief systems and why are you not going by your belief systems? Why are you betraying what you believe? It wasn't up to me what they believe. But why are you betraying what you believe?Because that's what's creating this angst. That's what's creating this guilt. And how can I help you let that go? And it just.I began to see me in a different way, and I began to see service in a different way.

You know, the 100% of the time that I referred to is this when. When you.We, you, me and everybody else that I've ever talked to, when they go through some transformation, some caterpillar, caterpillar to butterfly moment, you know, and they realize they have liberated themselves in whatever language or process worked for them. They're always. 100% of the time arises at the same time the desire to help others with the same thing. It always comes. And I.It's just part of our nature, I think, because of where we came from and how we're built, that when we achieve a thing, the first thing we think is, wow, I could. I mean, that would be so good if everybody, somebody. You know what I mean? We have that. And so there arises in us this yearning to love and Serve.And, you know, the truth is we are built to love and serve each other. That's it. That's where we're happy.

I believe that completely. You know, I believe. I don't. I haven't practiced religion, a formalized religion, in 30, 40 years, but I'm very spiritual.And I truly believe that humans are intrinsically holy and good people and that when we live in that energy, when we live in that space, we are most at peace. We are most enjoy, we are most expanded, and we're truly living from the essence of who we really are.And that, yeah, some people are so terrified of that that instead they live in defense, Whether that's in rage or in fear or in the need to control whatever. Whatever it is. You know, but to me, that's a level of self betrayal. They're not happy, they're not at peace.They may feel very powerful and like, I won, but that's dramatically different from a sense of peace and joy. And I think that when we live from the essence of who we truly are, it requires a lot of willingness to look in the mirror.It requires a lot of willingness to own the fact that I have an infinite amount of gifts, but I also have an infinite amount of vulnerabilities. You know, that they're both. They're both in me. I'm not going to deny this piece of me, my lower self, or shadow side, whatever people call it.You know, it's got 100 different names, but I have that. But I also have this piece, and I choose to live from here. You know, it just. It's a choice we make.

I think a lot of times people don't realize a fundamental thing you just said, which is we. We deeply desire to serve, and at the same time, we deeply fear judgment and rejection.

Right.

You know, that whole thing. And. And sometimes it's just because we think we're not good enough.And other times it's like, well, if they really knew XYZ about me, they wouldn't like me anyway. And so there's this idea of I've got to keep that hidden and the whole notion of skeletons in the closet. So I'm.I love what you're teaching and what you're sharing. And more than anything, I love the commitment and energy and vibrancy with which you express these things because they are the fundamental.They are the fundamental truth of our being. And we can pretend they're not. And every moment that we pretend, that is a moment in denial.It's a moment living below our capabilities and without judging or saying anything. It is the experience of you or me or whoever to say, oh, the suffering that you are having that you don't need. Let me, Let me.Let me see if I can help you drop that rock over there. You don't need to hold it.

Yeah. And it's the hard part of that in our own development as servers, is recognizing that not everybody wants that healing yet.Not everybody is willing to do the work to achieve that level of healing yet. And they need to be respected where they are absolutely allow to stay in whatever that place is.That because we can want it for them doesn't mean it's the right thing for them or it's, you know, I had a school for 19 years teaching a method of energy medicine I created.And my message constantly to my students, with physicians, nurses, occupational therapists, massage therapists, and others was that we have to respect their timing as well as their process. And if we're not truly respecting others, if we don't respect both their timing and their process.

I love that I apply that also when I think about, you know, we talk about creating our own lives and creating reality. And one of the things that I had struggled with in the past is something I call the MST problem. Mst.And so when we're doing everything that we think we should do, whether you're spiritual or religious or you're exercising all, you know, all that stuff, MST stands for manner, size, and time. And we get fussed about the manner in which the things we're trying to create show up.It's not like we thought it ought to be, or the size, the amount, or the timing, which is what you were just alluding to. And so I find anytime I find myself thinking about that, I laugh and I say, you know, there's the. The MST problem again.You know, it's not showing up like, I want the size, I want the timing that I want. So therefore there's something wrong. Right. As opposed to trusting the process and just claiming and owning the sovereignty of who we are.Well, this is fascinating. So you've mentioned so many different pieces. How long were you in the. In the. As a nun, did you function as a nun?

I was in religious life five years.

For five years. And then you said you went to.

Be a stewardess, an international airline, students. Yep, I moved. I left Maine. I was in Maine. And when I was a religious life, well, I was in Quebec and that I was in a French Canadian community.Because when I applied to become a religious, I discovered that the Catholic Church didn't allow illegitimate children in the convent. And I was illegitimate, according to the Catholic Church. I was living in an orphanage. And so we found one community.My teacher actually found one community in Quebec that was under the bishop, not the pope. And he said, I'll take a risk. We've never had an illegitimate kid, but I'll try it.So I went to Quebec and they sent me to Maine, and then I went to work in Massachusetts and at a residential treatment center. So I, you know, I traveled around and I did a number, a number of different things inside.

But yeah, so that's a fascinating thing. And the reason I'm calling that out is because listeners, I want you to listen to this often.It's the view when you hear someone who's offering you the key to personal sovereignty and growth and peace and dropping rocks and stuff, you the. Some of the.Often I hear the story, well, yeah, but they had this or they had that, or we assume that they had some special dispensation or gift or luck or whatever.And you got to hear this story, you know, all the way through from here to there to this state to that state that you can't come here and you can't go to this school and can't, can't, can't was stacked up as high as the ceiling and. And it didn't stop you from, from following the truth of your calling.

Right.

So what do you think? What do you think gave you or it was in you that kept that drive alive because people start things and they quit. So you had all these plot twists.I had a client wants to call those kind of things plot twists. Right.So you had all these plot twists in your life, but something, there was some light or voice or sound or feeling that kept calling you to move through that. Talk a little bit about that.

Well, I think there's so many factors that go into that.You know, one of them, and very, very briefly, even when I was adopted later on about three, when I was adopted my dad in South Boston, where I grew up, it was very Irish Catholic, very Irish proud. You know, people walking with a baroque from the old country, they just come over.We had bars and package, package store, used compacties, you know, bars and Pakis and churches on every corner. You know, and it was just how I grew up. And yet my dad found out I was in an orphanage and thought no Irish child belongs in an orphanage.So he adopted me and brought me home. But my mother and grandmother who were living in the house with him and an older Brother said no illegitimate child belongs in a good Catholic home.And so he would get me out at 5:30 in the morning and put me in a sunset or a snowsuit and put me in a playpen, leave me up by the front stoop, which is, most projects have front stoops, and leave me there until 9:30 at night, until everybody had gone to bed. Then he would come out and get me, bring me in and give me dinner and get me out in the morning again.So my grandmother never saw any legitimate child in a good Catholic home. And the housing projects, they real Catholics back in those days.And I think that those years outside, the gift of being alone, when all my other brothers and sisters were in the house, the gift of being outside was, you know, we can look and say this poor little child or I believe there's a spiritual purpose in everything, that, that ability to be out there by myself, you know, during the day, yeah, seeing the other mother sitting on the stoop and everybody visiting and so forth. But then at night, especially in the winter, being outside, there was a realization that I needed to entertain myself, I needed to be here.I needed to create an inner life that defined me separate from my environment.And I think one of the gifts of that was that as I was older and later, you know, when I left with it, when I left the airlines, I. I was married for 15 years and got divorced with two little kids. I got my master's and opened up a practice. And when I opened up my private practice as a therapist at that time, about three years in, I was blessed.Three months in, I had 42 patients a week and I was at a six month waiting list for my afternoon, evening hours. About three years in, I started noticing certain personalities developing illness.This personality develops prostate cancer, this personality has heart attacks, this personality has cancer.Different types of autoimmune disorders or whatever friends or MD said no, it's a coincidental, I knew it wasn't and I could go out there and stand on my own because I had lived on my own for those three years, right. And so our early life experiences call us to either strengthen or to surrender to an illusion.And for whatever reason, even though I was, I had my inadequacies and I had my own sense of not being good enough or not smart enough or whatever the case may be. I knew to trust because my, my instincts had kept me alive in dangerous years. My instinct had gotten me out when I needed to get out.My instincts, I learned to trust them because they always brought me where I needed to be. And so, and I think that all happened from way back there when my instincts really caused me to go through that.And then when I entered that house and found out how violent it was, how horrific it was, and the others had basically been destroyed emotionally and spiritually. But I was six and I didn't grow up in it.That I had a self, and I am, if you will, that I teach my, my clients claiming that I am, I had an I am that the others didn't have so I could become the one who worked to protect my brothers and sisters and my mother in that environment.And that I am knew that when I was asking my friends who were MDs, have you noticed this pattern, just personality and noticing this, and they all said it's coincidental. I knew if I could predict it, it wasn't coincidental.So I went and studied nine different modalities, became certified in all these modalities, integrative health, acupressure, iridology, and all kinds of different things, and combined it with my knowledge and created a method of energy medicine. And people started saying me, we want to know what you know because you know something we don't. And that's when I, they said, open up a school.Long, long story short, I made a four year program in energy medicine teaching physicians, nurses, occupational therapists, physical therapists and others about the psychological and spiritual causes of disease and became a pioneer in this country. People flying in from around this country, Canada, Australia or the Caribbean to study with me.And people say, you have to be quiet, don't talk about this. You're going to lose your credibility. People think you're smart, you're going to lose credibility.People are going to think you don't know what you're talking about. You're not going to be asked to speak anywhere. You're going to lose it all. And I thought, I can't. I know this is truth. I can't betray myself in this.And I think that strength truly came from all the years of trusting my own instinct, trusting my own survival and that spirituality, that life is so much more than what people think it is. Life is so much more than just being safe, fitting in, not upsetting the apple cart.There's so much more to this and if I don't own it, I'm going to disappear. I'm going to cease being me and I'll be part of this puddle of survivors and not me.

You know, there's a phrase that I use, things happen and they can either ruin us or refine us and you alluded to that earlier when you said, you know, you chose to let that light and so forth become your strength. But that last thing you said, I want to repeat it in different words because I want the listeners. I want you to hear this.What you said is, I knew you. You developed an ability to hear and you learned to trust your inner knowing and intuition. I'm maybe using different words.And following that path led you to use your greatest capabilities and strength and add good to the world or create a difference or make things happen that otherwise wouldn't happen. And that right there in whatever language you use is the key for you, each of you listening now, to create your own life.When you know, woo woo weirdos like me or her or whoever you say, talk about creating your life and you can have any life you want. That is the tools. That is the tool set. That is the path. Hear your intuition, learn that you are infinitely valuable. Trust.Learn to trust that voice and follow it. Yeah, and use that, the I am statement. That's everything.I mean, I wrote a whole book about that called Living with purpose and power, Teaching people how to create the I am right any way you want. And so I just, I. So I'm grateful for you teaching, sharing, and being that person who's created it through all these twists and turns.And every time I let you talk for a minute, you introduce another plot twist.You know, sitting outside in a playpen for three years, for all day, every day, and, you know, just the number of things that could have ruined you, you say, you know, I decided that there's a lot of gifts in there, you know, and that's this ruin and refined distinction crap happens. And you do get to choose, ruin or refine. And maybe you let it ruin you for 10 years, whatever, you can let it refine you now.

It really becomes a choice. It's not always a conscious choice, but it becomes a choice. And none of us, I don't believe, have ever done it the same way all the time.You know, not for a moment am I intend to imply that I always look at everything in the brightest way. And I'm always way up there. I mean, welcome to humanity. You know, humanity is this roller coaster ride.The difference is when you choose to develop emotional intelligence and practice mindfulness, the roller coaster looks like this. When you don't, the roller coaster looks like this. And if I'm going to do it, I'd much rather it be like this because it's much easier to recover.It's much easier to feel at home. In that healthy place and recognize when you're not there, recognize when you're telling yourself a story.And when you can recognize you're telling yourself a story, it doesn't mean you didn't go visit there. It just means I visited there, but I don't live there. I come back over here again.And I think that's why I said earlier, owning that we've got these two sides, owning your humanity, you know, because to me, this higher self we're talking about, that's our divinity. We're living our divinity. But over here, that humanity shows up that says, you know, life sucks and then you die. It's just a battle.I'm never going to make it. I'm never going to have success or I'm never going to be good enough.I'm never going to be smart enough, whatever our story is, you know, okay, so go there and. And I've worked with clients that do that. On my website, it says, she holds your heart while she kicks your ass.Because I had, you know, I had a client show up once, she was ahead of a major division of a major hospital in this country. And she came in and she was saying to me, she said, I. I am have never done an effing thing right in my life. And I said, oh, that's too bad.I said, you must be really good in bed. She goes, what are you talking about? I said, well, you made it all the way through medical school. You must have slept with every trust of your head.And you started off in different hospitals and you worked up to some of the major ones. You must have been sleeping with everybody under the sun because you know good at what you do. And she just stood up and she said, you bitch.And then she started laughing and she said, oh, my God, you're good. I said, we had a choice. We could do seven years of analysis, or I could let you know you're out of your mind.You have done so many things right in your life. What happened today that put you in this place? And we could sit and look at that right there.Because if I can identify in myself, I can tell myself stories that can do this to me. I'm fully aware everybody else can do the same damn thing.And that this highly successful, amazing woman came in here telling me how stupid she is, and she's never done anything right in her life. When it doesn't take a genius to know you're out of your mind, right?So accomplished, so successful, and so out there leading in the world of healthcare that I Don't want to play with your story, let's get rid of it right now. And when you do that, what your client says is, she sees me. She doesn't buy the crap I'm dumping. She sees me beneath the crap.And yeah, yeah, we all have crap that shows up. But that's a story. That's not a truth.

So tell me what your plan is going to switch gears here for a minute because I want to know what you're creating right now, what your plan is for 26. Like you're the author and architect of what for 2026.

I have two paths I'm looking at for 2026, both in alignment, yet different.I love working with very high end leaders because just as with the school I had for every physician who graduated from my school after two years of four years, I had two programs, two year, four year old, he or she was going to impact with my work. It was going to impact thousands of people down the road looking at health care, right?So if I can work with highly successful people and help them see whatever it is they're not seeing and help them claim whatever part of them they've lost touch with, I can impact the culture of their company. I can impact the culture within their family, within their children, because our children are a legacy. I can impact so much more.So that's one of the paths I'm going down. Having a few clients each. I don't take tons of clients. I only take a few at a time because I, if I'm with you, I'm with you.I've got your back for the whole time we're together. All right, so just a few of those. And in March, I'm opening up an instant of an institute.But this is the Institute for Transformational Coaching and Leadership. Because I truly believe, as some of your shows are so shown, especially last one, I was just listening to that.Coaches are not going to be needed anymore. I love AI. I use AI literally every day. And coaching is going to be about seeing the essence of the soul. Seeing, seeing the truth of who somebody is.It's truly being present in seeing that person. We can put into AI. I want to develop a school. Give me an outline, give me a procedure, how should I go forward, what should I do?What are the steps AI can feed me, that AI cannot identify my stories for me and see me touch my soul in a way with such intimacy that another human being can. And that intimacy that somebody else can provide is going to be the one necessary asset of everybody who truly wants to do transformational work.It's like AI is educational, intimacy is transformational. And that takes two, two people to really see each other, to be there. And so this institute is.I really want to support those coaches who have good intention because some just think it's another like going into med school or going into whatever. I'm going to be loaded if I do this. I'm going to charge millions of dollars and be loaded.You know, well, what if instead your focus was I hope you make millions, but what if your focus was I want to do transformational work And I'm fully aware that if I don't do my own, I can't help them do theirs.So the first half of my program is going to be on the transformation work of the coach or the leader, the financial advisor, I don't care who it is, the people who come through the program and then once they can see it, and we're never done to the day we go home, but once, once they can see the process and really take it to the next level and they'll all be at different levels of self awareness, but they go to the deeper levels, then the last few months will be about how do you bring that out in your clients? And 25 plus years as a psychologist and 18 years as a coach. I have some experience in helping people do that. And I'm a teacher. I'm a born teacher.I taught in grad school for years. I taught in medical school, I taught in my own School for 19 years. I love teaching.And when, when, when a student opens their eyes and says, oh my God, I got it, it's like, damn, that's a great day. I had a great day today. So they got it.It's like they woke up, they are free from another container that was keeping them smaller than they're meant to be. I helped them become freer and freer. So to me, I get fed by bringing others into that, whatever that looks like. I don't need 10,000 me's.One of me is more than enough of this universe. But to bring others up into their own truth and who they are as coaches, as leaders, as whatever.So those are the two things is the school in this institute and working with individuals, a few individuals next year. That to me is an ideal professional life because who we are professionally is who we are personally.It also means with my kids and my grandkids and my girlfriends just going out and having a ball and being as outrageously real as I get to be. So that's my plan. For next year.

That's fabulous. So I last thing I want to ask is where can people find out how can somebody get more of Dr. Dorothy?

Well I've got my my media kit if you will is meet DrDorthy Dr. Dorothy.com and my website is ask Dr. Dorothy.com or my email Dorothy ask Dr. Dorothy.com.

Well that's easy. So meet DrDorthy.com ask Dr. Dorothy.com are two places to get to know her, what she's done, the material she has.And I would recommend you go check that out for real. And I want you to listen to this again because she has said a lot of really true and valuable things.So Dorothy, I want to thank you for for showing up today and sharing your heart with me, with us, and the truth and passion of your being.

Thank you so much. It's been a joy as I knew it would be spending time with you. It always is.

So listeners, I really mean this. Listen again and stop it and listen to pieces that make sense to you.Because the idea about reframing your stories or owning the sovereign, taking sovereign control of your life and you know, understanding that we do have these ups and downs, those are all truths. And our willingness to hear them and apply them in our own lives at our own level of ability and willingness is really important.And if you soak up all this good stuff and even apply 1% of it every day, it won't be very long before that's 100%. You'll be well on your way to creating your ultimate. Right here, right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenfluekermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. Your UltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.

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