What Breaks You Isn’t the End — It’s the Doorway to Who You Really Are

Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living a dream? It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power, and real talk, so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power.Hi there and welcome to this episode of your ultimate life, the podcast I created to help you build a life you love, purpose, prosperity and joy, and do it with what you've already got, your skills, your gifts and your life experience. And I'm grateful today to have a special guest, Sandra V. Sandra, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Kellen. It's great to be here. I. I love your podcast in general. You're always natural and just getting conversation going. So it's totally, totally my style.I love it. Thank you.

You bet. Glad to have you here.So, you know, the podcast is focused on, first of all, dispelling the myth that you can't have a life that you love, that it's always going to be, you know, constrained by external forces and factors and good luck and bad luck and stuff, getting rid of that myth and teaching that you can create the life you want and then secondarily or next, tools and opportunities and instruction and examples and so forth about how to do that. So you're a really good example of that. You've lived a good number of years, as I have. And do you, do you love your life?

I do. And. And it has been burned over decades, I'll tell you.And the real glory of being here at this end of our life is that we can look back and see where we struggled so hard when we really didn't need to, except that we were going through the stages that we needed to go through in order to arrive here.And that way, I mean, you can look back and say whatever the struggles were, we were doing what we could do at the time, but I was always looking for that freedom. And finally I've gone back into my second childhood holding on to the wisdom.

So that's an interesting thing because often people say, you know, I wish I could do stuff over again, knowing what I know now. And what you're saying is, you know, you can't do that.But I'm now entering life every day with the great wonder and opportunity that we felt as children and with the knowledge that I've accumulated through hard won experience, experience.

And it's worth every moment. Sorry, I was just. We forgot to start off with. Turn your cell phone off.

Oh, yeah, it's all good.

So, so, so I've got it. Yes, life Becomes a celebration when you just stay curious and keep learning.The other day I came across somebody saying we need to be learn it alls, not know it alls. And it's such a relief when we don't have to know it all.

You know, the more. Yeah, the older I get, the more I realize I actually don't know anything. You know, I don't. I don't know. I don't know, Jack.I get stupider as I get older, even though I've had more experience. So one of the things. What's that? Yeah, you wouldn't know, Jill. I don't know, Jack.

You don't know, Jack. I guess I don't need. I don't know, Jill.

So you've recently finished a book, and you're going to be publishing pretty soon, and you've got a product and some stuff behind that. What is it that made you decide that it was time for you to write a book? What made you decide to do that and tell me a little bit about it?

I've had people all my life telling me, sandra, you have such an interesting life. I don't think about it that way. I just think it's life. But you need to write a book. So for. For years people have said, you need a book.It'd be such a good book. And I guess that my sister's been writing and working on a book for the last eight years.Not the book itself, but the genealogy that goes into it and creating. She's been doing writing classes and having me at it, and I think I should write a book, but I didn't know where to start.And I thought, I know my friend, you know, how much it cost her and how much work. And I kept putting it off. And then I got to your challenge because I thought, I have to learn at least what I need to do.And my one little networking group called In Paro, which is Culture Sync, the one lady said, I think we should write a little collaborative book because we would have the market here at the Paro, and we would each do a section, a chapter. Well, even trying to do that without any context, if you will, was totally wacky. But the plant, the seed, had been planted.And when your challenge came along, I thought, okay, I can't even do a section of a book without having an idea. And I knew that I would get how to structure and start. And you didn't disappoint. You gave the whole thing to us.And that was a lovely light bulb moment for me because I. I'm just Totally worn out with people that are saying, come to this free webinar and they get you all hyped up. And then they say, well, if you. More, it's now going to be blah, blah, blah. But technically, out of your material, I could write my book.So I thought. I remember the next thing saying it in the challenge. I said, I don't know if anybody will buy my book. I don't own anybody.Oh, maybe my sister would buy. No, no, no. She wouldn't buy it. She'd expect me give it to her. Oh.And yet somehow I knew I wanted to do it because I've had a really adventurous life, and if it became a memoir, so be it. It would be mine. So a kind of a hoorah.But as I went through writing the book, I've again, after all these decades, gone through more changes and transformations. And I believe that is the magic of writing your story, whether that ever becomes a book, but writing your story. And I've done that before.I've written my story when I went to a prior learning assessment 32 years ago, and I wrote my life story, and I had a lot of tears in there, and I'd get stuck and stopped and have to work on that stuff and then carry on.And here I am all these decades later, going through the book, doing the same thing, preparing it, reliving things, working through them, and each time at a deeper level. And that's the magic, I think of this relearning throughout our lives. We go through the same cycles and change.

Right. You mentioned the word memoir.And memoir, kind of, at least for me, I don't know, strikes the idea of just somebody, you know, having the opportunity to say whatever it is, you know, tell the story of their life. And my sense in.In reading your material, that there is, you know, recollection and rejoicing and reminiscing about life and things that have happened, but there's also a drive in it in terms of having it be more than just. I wrote a memoir about my life, written with the idea of being a value of service to someone as opposed to just somebody writing a memoir.And there it is. What's the difference for you? And why are you committed to helping as many people as you can, every way you do?But in this case, we're talking about the book. Why is that important to you?

If we don't examine our life, we're never going to get to the victory lapse and the enlightenment of the joy of who we are, really. We're not going to get to that second childhood with our wisdom, because we go full circle.So as we talk about my memoir, portion, if you will, the opening of the book, it's my life, but I did promise myself, if I'm going to put it down, it's going to be my truth. So I go through the tears. I start right out with, it was over, it was ended.I was crushed because I started with that breaking point in my life, the divorce. So I was already 40 or whatever I was. I'd have to.Have to always subtract everything to see where I was, but it'd be in that age 40, 45 range that I had been grieving, running away, becoming workaholic because I wasn't happy. But I didn't know that at the time. And so this memoir starts, and it's not a memoir. My book starts at the crash and then goes backwards.And then how do we get there? And who am I? What did I bring to my relationship? So I eventually get right back to my childhood and come through my life, then I can understand.Relationships are not only work, relationships are. We keep finding the person that's going to peel that scab off so that we can learn something new. But with that, once it was over, it was over.And even when my son passed eight years ago, it wasn't the same breaking point as, for me, the divorce at that time. So we all have a breaking point. And when we recognize that, we can burst open and start that journey home to ourselves.

I agree with those that have said to you, wow, you've had a really interesting life, because in getting to know you over this last year, not quite a year, but nine months or something, and, you know, being immersed in your story and the work that you do in life and the different ways you help people, you have had a really interesting life and you felt called in your own heart to help people in lots of different ways. And besides having glorious pink hair, people might not. People might not know that you know. And I can think of several things.But before we list the different things that you've done and ways you've been of service, I'm fascinated always by the question, what is it that drives you to find new ways, important and meaningful ways to lift and bless people? Why is that important to you?

I'm not even. I'm not even sure I go out and try and bless people. I love people. I love to go out and play.And if that isn't indicated by my pink hair, I love to go and play. Now play is. Is achievement as well. Like, it's meaningful. But I do love people and I love learning. I'm always curious. Somebody hurts me.I've learned now to go and say, like, what did I do? What was that about? And from there I've learned, oh, they were hurting about something.Life has been this wonderful uncovering, and it's that curiosity and then creative ways to stop and think about it in a different way.And when I connected up with Uganda, with Liz Zingebayer, when I connected up with her, that was through Facebook, didn't know her well, if you want money, go away. If you want to learn something, I'm here. I love helping people open their minds. And she said, okay, I want to learn something.Well, we have been together now since COVID because I was there living in her home when Covid hit, and she was already a refugee. So her and her family were refugees in Uganda, and I lived in their home with them while I was there.And we got into some good rows about money and finances and shifting your mind around. And it's been incredible. You know, even at a distance, we can change people's lives. But here's the thing.We can't change anybody else's lives unless we change ourselves. Now, that's not about me going out.

Hold on, I'm going to interrupt you there, because that is one of the fundamental things that is going on right now. You know, I've got a book I just finished. Be out in a few days. Coaching in the Rise of AI. And I'm doing coaching interviews with different coaches.And, you know, I might want you to do one of those too in a few weeks. But you. That's gonna be the only thing that there is left for those of us who choose to mentor and coach.The truth that you just said, we can't change anybody or help anybody change their lives. If we aren't doing that, you know, we have to be the on the way.We have to be engaged in the process of personal work, or we're essentially talking about some idea over there that we don't have any truth and experience with.And the idea may be true and right, but our ability to teach it is going to be really watered down if we haven't applied it and walked through the difficulties or, you know, work required to make it true for us. And you said that.

And I just, you know, how many people have walked through the difficulties and they think they're going to be coaching and they, oh, I've been there. But then they get with somebody and they keep their own mouth shut about their own pain and struggles, then their coaching is useless.That's when they're going into that checklist thing. I'll ask the questions I've experienced so I know what questions to ask. But that ain't it. That just is not it. The it is.Kellen, you and I have had our struggles, and we can talk about those struggles, both of us. And you're going to be coached and I'm going to be changing or vice versa.When you're coaching me, you can't coach me and uncover something because I come back with my perspective and you say, oh, there. There's a new idea. There's a new perspective. We have got to learn together. And so the coaching ASP aspect really becomes a shared conversation.And I happen to be a few blocks down the road from those who are searching.

So you said you were living in Liz's home. There's a story there. Like, you didn't just walk to Uganda and say, hey, you can I live in your home?So there's a reason and there's a whole story about the COVID and getting back and everything. But how did you end up in Uganda in the first place? Like, you connected on Facebook. You assumed she wanted money.You said, if you want money, go away. I'm not doing that. And then the next thing I heard is, I'm living in her home. So there was a couple of chapters missing there.

As soon I have learned that with Facebook, social media is so hard to. To manage, and it's a whole new world for this old gal.But anyhow, I had connected up with Patrick, who was an African fellow I had met in a landmark course I'd been doing. So when I saw him, I said, are you that Patrick? Did you go and did you go to Africa and make that? Oh, yes, I did. And so we got hooked up as friends.Well, as Africa goes and many others today, even the coaches, everybody jumps on and wants to be your friend. They're kind of hooking up because you're a friend of a friend of a friend. Right. And bombasting you.So Liz saw me as a friend on Patrick's because turned out they had grown up in the same home. So she immediately sent me a friend request and wanted to get in touch with me. Two of them did it, Liz and some other lady.And they both came at me and I said, well, why would you want to be friends? Like, what's that about? Oh, well, I'm looking after all these children, if you could. I said, if you Want money? Go away. Stop it. I'm not doing it.You want to learn something? Okay. The other one comes in and says, well, you should be doing something. You should be doing more, knowing nothing about me.I said, you have no idea what I do. Yeah, but you should do more. So she went by the wayside. There was no friendship there. Liz came back and said, I want to learn.So we were doing the learning and got into really deep conversations. Thank God for Zoom and WhatsApp and all those things. But we got into real straight talk. And she said, oh, my goodness, you're opening my mind.She could feel it. She knew it. And so that made me want to send them books I wanted to send.So I checked on dhl, the American Express of the air, I guess, and to send 60 pounds of books and maybe a big suitcase was going to be sixteen hundred dollars.

Wow.

And I said, oh, well, I guess I could go there cheaper than that. So I looked up the tickets to Uganda, $1,200. I could have my ticket over and back to Uganda, and I could take two suitcases with me.And then I bought two more suitcases. So I went with four. So it wasn't about, I'm not going to send you money. It's not.I'm not going to send you $50 a month for one child and nothing going with it. You see?

Right. So that's how you ended up in Uganda.

And I went by myself. And that was at the beginning. So I was already 70. Whatever, 70 something. 73. I was.I was getting on the little motorbikes over there because Liz thought, well, we'll have to have a car for you and a driver. And I said, why? Why? I was jumping every once in a while I'd say, liz, throw my leg over the back of the bike a little bit and getting on and off.But I had a blast. But I. The, the biggest fun was when I was landing in Uganda. I had get set aside my ego.I did go with a wheelchair because the airports are huge, and I figured at least they'll get me to the right gates because I can get lost in a brown paper, right? But as we're landing in Uganda, I'm thinking, now, if they're not real and they didn't really come to meet me, this will be an adventure, right?But they were there. So there is an adventurous spirit in me that just loves to learn and go.And I kind of make decisions on short notice, actually, that's how I ended up on the book.Osandra, just jump in I don't swim very well, but when I decide to jump in the pool or the whatever, I hold my nose and jump in and hope somebody's going to haul me out.

Well, that's a fabulous story. So there's lots of other things that I know you do that I want to talk about you.You went there, you brought all the books, you ended up teaching them a lot of things. And if we have time for the story coming back, we'll come back to that.One of the other things that I know about you, that you have done for many years, is you put your money where your mouth is about service, about getting to know people, about loving people. You spent a lot of hours for a lot of years serving people that are in prison and haven't, you know, have had that chapter in their lives.And how did that get started? What do you do in there?And again, this is a place where you're not expecting to go in there and have somebody pay you a bunch of money because they're in jail. So what is that about? Why do you do that?

Well, technically, there's lots of people in jail that could afford to pay me, but it's not allowed. You can't go in. And. Yeah, that's the big thing.I mean, there's others that have their $2 a day that they get to buy their toothpaste and so on, and there are others that are working for $6 a day, so they have a little extra.

Right.

But I'm shocked. I've had professional musicians world worldwide, professional musicians, bankers, corporates, plus the gangs, you know, so every.You go to prison and there's a microcosm of the entire world economy and mix. It's so diversified. But where I got started, actually, I probably got started 40 or 50 years ago when I was in choirs at church.And the local prison here, the local federal prison, had been inviting different churches to come in with their choirs and participate in their chaplain services, one chapel services. So they asked at our church, and I said, yeah, I'd like to go to that because I'm curious. Curious, Sandra. That would have been the first times. And.And they were serving coffee afterwards, and you're not supposed to ask, why are you here? So I wasn't sure what all to ask, but I did my little poking around. And then many years later, I joined Toastmasters 32 years ago.And one lady was at that same prison with the Toastmaster Club. And she said, sandra, you come up with speeches really quickly. You're able to converse. Would you like to go and help me out there.So I would go once a month and under her tutelage, and that was neat. So that was my induction. And then when I become area governor of the local area to host masters, I was supposed to, I needed some more clubs.So I started my own home club, community club. And I also went into prison to revive a club that they had there.And once you go, it's so interesting and they're so appreciative and you watch them grow. They come in with their hoodies up when they're not allowed hoodies anymore. They all had to be cut off, no hiding in prison anymore.But they would have their hoodies up or their hats on and be sitting at the table to see, what's this one going to do with this? What's this toastmasters about? And I would go around the room, just stand and say your name. And they'd say, we'll just pass.Okay, well, we'll finish, go around the room, we'll be back to you. In other words, you're not going to get off the hook with me.And so I had to learn with inmates, there's no taking them off to a private area to speak to them about anything.I've learned so much about just being honest, tactful, pulling them up by the bootstraps when they needed it in front of everybody without centering them out. I mean, they know I'm speaking to them, but I compliment them and I'm doing a teaching at the same time so that everyone understands what's going on.That doesn't happen by accident.

No, it does.

That's been over the years of being involved. And you know, I've had lots of little participation certificates, but the one I have up here is for I was in prison and you visited me.Certificate from the prison, from the. From the men themselves.

You know something you're never going to know until you die and meet whoever and whatever in the next frame. The impact you have some idea, but you're never going to know the impact that you had and continue to have on people.Because month after month, learning after learning, piece of love after piece of love, Attention, invitation, all the things that you gave and helped and lifted and taught and blessed them with. And the reason I wanted to talk about that is because the idea of ultimate life is built around service.We are literally built as divine beings to love and serve each other. And we get lost in the noise of the world and the greed and gotta have this and be cool and all the rest.And you have Some certificates you have, some people that thanked you and that said whatever they said. And that isn't even a remote fraction of the number of people you touched or the ways that their lives are changed.And I know that just because I know that. And it's just a powerful way that you've chosen to add good to the world in a difficult and otherwise dark place.

Yeah. Yeah.

Do you still do that?

Amazing. I. I learned so much from them as well.I mean, I. I've never forgotten the young lad who spoke and gave his icebreaker, which is introduce yourself to the group and you can choose how you want to introduce yourself for in four to six minutes. And he chose, in his case, to tell how he ended up coming to prison, which was. Here he is with his young friends, you know, probably 20, 21.Beautiful young man. You're thinking, oh, my son, my son, my son. Could you imagine any of our sons could be in there? Any of them? It can happen.And I'm thinking, what's this beautiful young man doing here in prison? Well, then he starts to tell a story. And they were. Had been drinking and doing drugs, and they needed money to get some more.So he and his friend decided, well, they'll just go in the convenience store and hold up the shop owner and get their money. And they had guns in their pockets just to scare the man, so he'd give them money.It wasn't going to be used, except that the shopkeeper decided, no, you're not having it. You know, he was going to argue. So the guns went off and this young man shot his buddy, shot his partner in crime dead.He's in jail for murder of his own friend. And he's what, 21, 22, whatever he was. Beautiful young man, sober, because he wasn't getting drunk in prison and coming to Toastmasters to.To learn to be able to hear his voice, speak up, speak and think, Prepare for parole. So much that they. They learn just coming to humanity. And so many of them have never been listened to before.For whatever reason they ended up in there. So as they stand to speak, and I have them all, you stand and you address the group. And they are amazed because the group is listening.They're standing. They have a space. They say something and the others listen without interrupting. Transformational. So simple. You and I just do it.

Yeah, but, you know, one of the things I notice is as a coach, you know, people will want to be around you if you just listen. There's so few places. In fact, one of the questions I'll ask Someone after maybe we've talked for an hour, brand new person, I don't know.And I'll ask him a question depending on the situation. How many places in your life do you have where you can just go talk to someone and they're going to listen to you?No advice, no help, just listen to you? And I'm not surprised anymore.But usually what happens in the vast majority of cases, sometimes if someone has it, they'll immediately say, oh, I have one. And they'll say it instantly. And they know most of the time there's a silence and then often there's emotion and they'll say zero.And that truth is so powerful and so sad that you creating that for them, where the others will listen to them, even though you're not supposed to interrupt and all that. So there's a little bit more rules that helps it happen. It is such a game changer.And so that is a profound truth that you have both allowed them to feel and taught them vicariously by having them experience it.

There's nothing like experience. I think that's my favorite way of coaching is the experiential, whether it's a group. I love your podcast because the conversational.My own podcast isn't officially a called a podcast, I guess, but it's conversations with Sandra.

Sure.

And it truly is conversations because I'm not there to interview them and ask this question, that question. It's all very stilted. We can ask questions just in conversation. And that is a beautiful thing, right. No matter when I go to prison, to the.The club there, the clubs, I've got a couple of them.I'm always given a speaking opportunity and I will be picking up from whatever I'm seeing at the meeting about what it is that they need to learn next to move the club forward or to care for each other. And they are learning servant leadership for each other, recognizing the power of helping others.And when you're in prison where it's tough, you put a mask on and you don't smile, you don't look at somebody else if you're out.But boy, now that they're in toastmasters and the other one is alternatives to violence, that I do, they know each other and they can, they can catch each other's eye and know each other, whether or not they speak out there because of those unwritten rules in prison, for whatever danger they might be putting themselves in or someone else, they start to become engaged in humanity in a deeper level and they transform.

Do you still have a couple clubs or Groups. Are you still doing some prison work or not?

Oh, yes, my one. I'm just over 20 years now, 22 years of that particular club.And just before COVID started, I had a meeting going in Joyceville, and I think we did about 16 meetings. So that was every week for about 16 weeks just to get it started. And then Covid hit and that club got revived.I went back in once we were allowed, and we got it started just a year ago with two or three guys first, and we talked about how to do it. And then there were seven around the table. And now when I go, there's always 25 to 35 people in that room. It's just a going concern.They've branched out, and they do debates, they do parole board hearings. They've got an improv club going on the side.

All right, so that's a spectacular thing, and I wanted to highlight some of that, and that's why I brought that up. I want to go back to the. To the book, because from that, you're creating something else that you do really well.And you said something in the context of Uganda in the conversations with Liz before you went over there about you used the phrase straight talk.And I know that Queen of Straight Talk is the title that you use that someone gave you or you gave yourself, but I think someone gave you, and I love it. And I agree. And I think it's powerful. And one area where you excel at that, in helping people with that ability that you have, is about money.And, you know, that's completely different. So here you are teaching people about life and about learning with books that you flew over to Uganda and.And then you've spent now decades serving in a. In a. I would say ministry, in prison.But it's teaching them not only to speak, but to love themselves and to hear themselves and to listen to others. And the list of things that are part of that can't even be enumerated.And another area that's not even related except it is, because it's such a big part of our lives, is about money. So tell me about your work with money, how it started.I know you've had a business that nobody even knows yet on this group, this show about financial, you know, helping people with their money, financial advisor and so forth. Talk a bit about that and how that morphed into the money work that you do now and again.The important thing for me is what is it in Sandra that makes that worth the effort? I mean, there's lots of things we can do, but the ones we choose to do and put our time, our tal.Time, attention and love into this one about money is important to you. So tell us a little bit about your money history.

My money history? Well, to make it simple, off the top, throughout my book, I have a money thread flowing through as well.So certainly within the marriage, I ran all the money. My husband at that time came from a Dutch family, and they went to work.The husband and all the children, they went to work and handed the mother the money, and mother managed the money and gave them their. So they didn't learn about money themselves. That was the first thing. So it was natural.And I think in quite often in marriages, the women often do take on the financial. But I'm finding more often now I'm getting a lot of calls with what I'm doing now, and it's a lot of women calling in that don't know what to do.So with it. So overwhelmed. But where did I get started? Even back to a child?I grew up on the farm out in the country, and, you know, it's a bit of a walk from house to house to house. But I wanted to have some money, so I was selling liquor made off. I would go. It was, you know, a little candy stick that you poke in the.Almost like Kool Aid sugar, I guess. You lick it and stick it down in there, and that would be a candy kind of treat. So I got hooked up with those.I would sell them up and down the little road. And then I advanced and got involved with. I don't know where the jewelry came from. Something else that I'd seen, you know.And so I started selling jewelry. 25 cents for a necklace and blah, blah, blah. That was a long time ago.But up and down the road I would go, and the people would just support because they'd see this silly little kid with the courage to come and sell something. Well, I'll take one of those and I'll have one of those. And then I advanced to Regal Greeting Cards, which was a.A catalog business not so unlike Avon or anything like that. And that stayed with me well into my married years with the Regal. So I was just always. And I would negotiate with dad. Daddy. I see.And those times you could keep the. The box tops off the cereal, Right?

Right. So many box stops for something, right?

Yeah. So many box tops. You could send them in, you could get this, or you could send them in and add a dollar to it and get whatever.So I was forever negotiating with dad. You know, I've got the 40 box tops. And. And I really want this book. I even wanted books as a kid.And he'd say, well, if I give the money, that would be my book. And I said, yeah, it could be, but you could let me read it, couldn't you?

Right.

So we had all kinds of negotiating. So money's always been through in my life.And even though I started out as a school teacher and then I was a singing waitress for a few years in between, just needing a second income for the raising family, eventually I got into the life insurance business. And that's 42 years ago. So I've been doing financial planning, life insurance investments and planning for 42 years.And that's what these files are behind me. But today I'm just selling those files.But in the meantime, I got hooked up with a quaint financial which answers emergency questions, if you will, about money, like a call center. I got started in the middle of January, just before I started with you with the book. So there's another transformation and change.And out of that I'm recognizing, wow. As a financial and planner, nobody teaches budgeting. They don't know because you don't get paid for it.You're going to do investments and buy life insurance. They already have money. But those that don't understand it, there's my niche.So I've now done four or five hundred calls and I'm recognizing, I pick up, how can I help you? And I don't know what the question is going to be in the concern, but a lot of it is how to deal with divorce.You know, sorting out, getting your documentation ready. A lot of it is about budget. A lot of it is about debt. How do I organize my debt and get out of here? Do I have to go to bankruptcy?Sometimes I send them to bankruptcy. But it's such a broad topic. And I'm realizing people from every income level and every education level don't know much about money.And I make it really simple now. Really simple. And that's why my first product is just the basic budget. Shake hands with your money, know what you're doing with it.Snowball your debt.

It's so weird. Yeah, it's so interesting to me to think about that.We learn how to make rockets and build buildings and do math and now in school, all kinds of other weird stuff that I think, who cares? But we learn all kinds of stuff. But there's nobody teaches anybody about money.How it works, how the economy works, how you even manage your own budget, how to track things, what compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. All of those things are not really taught anywhere.And so you just have to go out and people stumble through and everybody worries about there's more month than money. And you know, and how come.And how come it's so hard and then I get a raise and nothing matters and you know, got to get another job and all the rest, you know.

What happens with money. Why I really find it fits well with my transformational life. Work is because money touches every aspect of our life. Every aspect.You put food in your mouth, you've traded money for it. Where did the money come from? People don't stop to think.They went to work and exchanged their work energy and they had to focus on that work or they don't keep the job. So they know how to focus there. They go to work, do the job, get the pay. They've traded their own time and effort and focus for that pay.And then they come home and throw it up in the wind and hope it lands somewhere. It's amazing. It touches, you know. So the divorces and separations all go wrapped around money. Money's the. Probably the.The leading cause of divorce and separation because nobody knew what to do with it. And it just tears you apart eventually.

So the book you finished, I want you to tell us the name of the book, the name of your money product and where people can follow you more. You mentioned conversations with Sandra. I'm sure people who've watched this now are going to be curious and interested.So your book's going to be out in two or three weeks, I think. I'm not sure exactly the timeline, but.

Sometime in that, I want it out for Christmas because I've got a few friends want to buy it for Christmas gifts.

All right, well, I'm sure it'll be before that. So in the next couple of two, three weeks or something, you'll have a book out.Tell us about that and where to follow you and where to find you if someone wants to buy your money product. Tell us how to do that.

I am the author of. Very proud author of Breaking Point. Breaking Point is the name of the book From Collapse to Courage.I'm finding the word collapse is such a beautiful word because we've all been there, all gone to that exhaustion, chasing till we're crushed. And when we're crushed now we say, well, we can't stay down here. We're going to get up. And there's the invitation to courage.So it's from collapse to courage. Live the life you choose. Live the life you choose, that's the book.And because of my experience with money and because of my own transformations, my many years in prison, my many years of learning it all and singing and entertaining and I love the stage it, all of it together just gets me excited. The straight talk came because I was speaking to the fellow this morning and he said, yeah, just give me the meat and potatoes.Because I was thinking, oh, I have to do all these, all this work to bring people along, along, along, along. They're going to want a four page booklet just to learn about how to snowball their debt. And I'm thinking, oh yes, give me the meat and potatoes.And that's the straight talk I'd like to have. But it's a challenge. But that's basically what happens with my money product, which is called shake hands with your money.Shake hands with your money. That's your basic budgeting from there.You and I have both had areas of our life where the sandwich generation, so many of us are looking after our children, getting them off to college and our parents are needing us and we're ripped and torn and how do you do that? And then all of that stress comes back into the money and back into a stressed relationship. So I feel that everything I do ties together.But the money product is the basic budgeting which is shake hands with your money. What are your money beliefs, how do you wrap your head around it and then how do you deal with just the numbers?The breaking point as a book starts out with my divorce, but that was my breaking point for life and transformation. And I was speaking to another fellow yesterday and I said, what was your breaking point? Because he wants, he's chasing certificates.And I said, as a child, what was your breaking point? He says, I never thought about it, but he said, you know, I did something really great. Forget what it was, whether I hit the ball, right?I said, dad, dad, Dad, I, I got the ball over the net. And father says, so what do you want, a medal that crushed the little boy. He's chasing them at age 65, chasing certificates.So that will be other product that, that's coming along.And the, the final thing is presentation, being able to speak up, find your voice, whether you want to do a speech or just be able to think on your feet, those are the things. But where do you get hold of me? I am all over Facebook and LinkedIn and I'm just plain old Sandra Bal. I'm very easy to find.So Facebook, LinkedIn, look up Sandra Vaux. I have a website which is www.sandra Vox Surprise. Sandra Vaux CA those are the ways to get in touch with me at this point.

And those products that you're going to create or you're in the process of creating, I'll be able to get them. Like if I go to your website, they'll be there when you're done with them.

When I get it built up, yes. When I.

So I just want to give people. Yeah. So right now to keep track of her, she's got a YouTube channel where she's got some conversations with Sandra. I know.And you can connect with her on social media and do that. I'm encouraging you to do that so that you can follow. The book will be shortly and it will be announced obviously on her social media.So it's going to be valuable to you to do that. Sandra, I want to thank you today for sharing your wisdom, sharing your heart, sharing what you're doing and all of that stuff with the folks here.I really appreciate your willingness, your heart and your commitment to add good to the world. Thank you.

Thank you so much for having me because I'm really delighted for any strong individual that's ready to just get the meat and potatoes, get that transformation, get that knowledge, change their life and choose their second childhood with wisdom. Even if it's at 40, you want your second childhood starting as soon as possible.

I agree and love that. So all of you listening, I want you to do this. I want you to go to Sandra Valks V A L k S Sandravalks ca not.com because she's in Canada.Follow her on one of the socials and keep track because the book's coming, the products are coming. And I know because I've helped, you know, I've been involved a little bit in this and so I know what she has for you and how valuable it is.And it doesn't really matter where you are. If you're 20 or you're 40 or you're 60, you can change. The opportunity to create change and to move forward is always within your grasp.And I also know for sure that the stuff contained in her book and her products are powerful tools that will help you on your journey to create your ultimate life. Right here, right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. Everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenfluekermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. Your ultimate life ca subscribe.

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