Stop Waiting for Permission: Unlock Your True Power Today

Welcome to the show.

Tired of the hype about living the dream?

It's time for truth.

This is the place for tools, power and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life.

Subscribe, share, create.

You have infinite power.

Welcome to your ultimate life.

I'm excited about today's episode.

Today I titled this Accessing Power Now.

We just did a whole bunch of episodes on fear.

Eight whole eight episode series.

We did seven on building business.

The last two were discussing barriers and opportunities and the law of perseverance.

Now, our last episode was a beautiful, fabulous guest who, if you haven't seen Gabriella Popescu's episode, you should watch that.

She's an amazing woman.

Today we're going to talk about accessing power.

What do I mean?

How do you access power?

Well, I live in Canada, as you know, but the United States just had an election a month ago.

And for some, it was a surprising election.

For others, they predicted it.

And, you know, it doesn't matter.

All kinds of unsettling noise after the election.

But here's the key.

Some people view that as a catastrophe because the winners now, quote, have power and they can make things happen on a macro scale.

That's absolutely true.

The losers are saying, you know, we're going to do what we can.

Hopefully it's within the law.

But whatever, hopefully it is within the law to defend or to resist changes they view as inappropriate.

I don't want to talk about that kind of power today.

It's real, it's important, and it matters.

But this isn't a political podcast.

I'm not trying to convince you how to think politically or what party or programs or principles to support or oppose.

My focus is and always will be on you as an individual.

You have staggering power.

You have it whether you're using it or not, or whether you acknowledge it or not.

That's your call.

The question for all of us all the time is are you using the power you have?

And you might think, and this is a common thought, but a mistaken impression that because the other side won the election or the economy is doing a certain thing, or I didn't get that particular gig, or I failed when I tried a thing, that you don't have power that isn't and never was and never will be true, your personal power drives everything else.

Now, externalities are going to happen here.

It's Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, right north of Montana, a few hundred miles.

So understandably, it's cold, we're in winter.

A week and a half ago, boom.

Five or six inches of snow came and more has come and more is forecasted this week.

And we're going to be snow covered till middle of April.

Temperatures took a die.

Boo.

You know, it's cold.

So perma snow for, yeah, you know, six months.

I can't do anything about that.

I can't control the weather.

I'm not even interested in controlling the weather.

That is what it is.

The government is what it is.

The Prime Minister of Canada, I think, has made some dramatic political mistakes over the last years.

This individual's been in power and, and has trashed the economy here.

Things are very expensive.

The inflation that has struck the US Is also evident in Canada and it's all blamed on, you know, for the good of whatever and huge carbon taxes and stuff that is just choking the life out of people.

Regular, average folks.

I can't.

But my point isn't to whine about that.

My point is I can't do anything about the actions of the Prime Minister or Parliament.

So let's get back to personal power.

And here is the only power that matters now.

Vote.

Do whatever you can to participate in the macro, but do it from a place of personal strength.

Hear me?

Do it from a place of personal strength.

Because your personal power, you control a hundred percent of the time, all the time, every day.

Now I'm a coach.

I work with clients.

I had a beautiful conversation with someone this morning and just experienced a fairly dramatic transition in their life.

And they're thinking others around them in their family or friends or circle won't approve or will have something negative to say about that.

That all may be true.

I don't know.

So let's assume that it is.

Personal power is the degree to which you allow those externalities to influence you.

So I saw a bunch of commercials on TV before the holiday, the Thanksgiving US Holiday yesterday.

Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving second Monday in October.

So that was like six weeks ago.

But anyway, about people not attending Thanksgiving dinner with family.

No, we're not gonna.

You have a right to say no.

You have a right to not go because how you voted, I hate.

I can't stand to be around you.

Fine.

That is exercising your personal power to create the kind of environment you want to be in.

Do it.

But don't create drama.

Don't intentionally shame and call out and do you know, that's garbage.

Cut it out.

Do what you need to do.

Exercising your personal power.

But slamming others is a futile and not only ineffective, but stupid, quite frankly, attempt to shame someone else into changing their mind or you know, call them out for something where you two disagree.

I'm not coming.

Why?

I just don't feel comfortable.

Done.

And then set your boundaries and achieve them.

So this individual I was talking to this morning, the convo, had nothing to do with Thanksgiving.

That had to do with potential.

And again, this is imaginary, not funny.

Imaginary opinions that others might have about their personal circumstance changes, the changes that happen.

My first thought is to explore limiting that contact.

Do it a little at a time.

If it feels overwhelming, it's going to blow your mind.

Okay?

Like chart the course that is healthy and powerful for you.

Because you in a weakened, beat down, bad state isn't any good to you and it isn't good to anybody else.

You're not doing any good in the world.

You're not helping anything grow or you're not supporting or moving forward, whatever cause it is that you support.

A perfect example is me.

And you can hear this for you too.

You know my story.

All kinds of negative stuff in the first decades of my life.

Bankruptcies and drugs and addictions and suicide attempts and everything else.

When I changed that in 2007, I radically changed directions.

I eliminated everything in my life that was dragging me in the direction of pain, self loathing, depression, you know, low self esteem, negative self worth, not good enough, all that stuff.

So I eliminated it all because I said I'm not living in that place anymore.

Now, to the extent I'd hurt others, I made all kinds of amends and apologies and so forth.

Did that and do that whenever that's part of the gig.

And of course we do, because what we don't want to do is leave a battlefield behind us that we can fix.

Now here's the difference.

There's a battlefield behind you that you can't fix because others won't let you.

And there's a battlefield behind you you can fix.

Fix what?

You can forgive yourself and move on.

So that is one piece of accessing your power.

Stop carrying guilt and shame.

Do what you need to fix whatever it is you made mistakes by doing or not doing something.

Don't wait for others to approve, agree or forgive you, or say it's okay and pat you on the head or you know, actually or figuratively, and move forward.

The principle of self forgiveness is powerful and it is invincible.

In fact, if you do it right and not sweep things under the carpet or pretend things didn't happen.

That's not what I'm ever saying.

Okay, so that's number one.

Identify, clean up whatever you can from the past and then move on.

That's one thing to access power.

Number two, set boundaries.

And I touched on that a minute ago.

Set boundaries and stick to them.

You don't owe anybody an explanation.

If someone.

If you change your visiting habits or who you visit or talk to, fine.

I can't do that right now.

You know, it might be a month, it might be six months, might be forever, I don't know.

But right now, let's say for the next six months, I'm going to limit our contact because I need to.

I'm not blaming you.

I'm ragging on you.

I'm not saying it's because who you are, how you voted, or anything else.

I need this.

And then use the space and solace to get healed, get moving, and do good, and stop.

My advice to you is stop trying to beat someone else into agreeing with you any more than it's effective for them to beat you into agreeing with them.

Like you would be offended if they, you know, were to try to convince you.

Mm.

Well, stop doing the other way around.

And it doesn't matter if it's politics, religion, or anything else.

And I pick those because those are the two.

You know, we don't talk about that.

So accessing power.

Set some boundaries that are good for you and then just keep to them.

You don't have to keep them.

In fact, don't.

That isn't boundaries.

That's your lack of self esteem.

And that may sound harsh, but you going and at somebody, doesn't matter why.

That's just your lack of self esteem and you're broadcasting it.

If you had real self esteem, you just set a boundary and you're done with it.

No drama, no negativity required.

I'm doing this because I need to done.

Okay.

Another.

So those are things to do, right?

Self forgiveness, which is a whole bunch of work.

And I've done some episodes on that.

I have a book, Forgiveness A Journey of Courage to a Place of Freedom and Power.

Now here on the podcast, I often mention books and other shows and things, and it's because I put tons.

We're nearly at a thousand episodes.

I've got 20 books.

I've written about all this because I needed it.

I needed these things.

So I share with you what I've learned.

Forgiveness A Journey of Courage to a Place of Freedom and Power.

Available on Amazon and some other places.

I've done a bunch of episodes on forgiveness.

How to do it, how not to do it, why it's so important in terms of what accessing your Power setting boundaries, what that does is eliminates power leaks, right?

If every time you talk to or go somewhere, it drains you for an hour, a day or a week, stop going, stop going.

That's in your control.

All right, so those are the first two.

The next one is positive things that you can do.

Now you'll notice that all of these, every one of them is 100% dependent on you, you, you, you.

I'm not talking about trying to influence anybody else, make anybody doing anything, calling everybody else out.

Forget all that.

Your power is available to you 100% of the time if you want to take control of it.

So a third thing to do is clean up your self image.

Clean up your self image.

If I think I suck, I'm not good enough.

I'm a failure, I'm small, I'm not important.

I have nothing important to say.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of being not liked.

There's a hundred ways to say that and you know them, so list your own.

I hate networking.

People don't want to talk to me.

I'm not that important.

I've got nothing to say.

I can't write a book or create a program.

I've got nothing important to share.

I've had no exciting things in my life.

I've heard all those.

I've said those things at different times, not anymore.

Because I've learned, ooh, the truth.

We all have absolute, awesome and mighty power of our own that we can access all on our own, without anybody's permission and then use that to create income, wealth, money, cash, bank account.

To create impact in the world, make a difference, change, help, serve, bless, love, lift all those good things and at the same time experience boundless joy.

Now, those things are available to you and you don't need anyone's permission or agreement.

And if you don't understand how to do that, please get ahold of me.

You'll see a URL on the screen.

Kellenfluecigermedia.com Go there.

There's a way to get a hold of me.

There's an email there.

There's also books that I've written.

You can see those and see if any of those would serve you.

The podcast regular homepage is yourultimate lifepodcast.com yourultimatelifepodcast.com now, of course, it's on Amazon and Spotify and itunes and all the rest of the places.

All my books are on Amazon, but the Kellenfluecigermedia.com is kind of a home base for everything there's also a email there to get a hold of me.

Why would you want to get a hold of me?

Well, I can think of three reasons right this minute.

One, you have a story to share.

I want to help you.

I want to broadcast your story to the world.

So if you've got a story to share, let's talk.

This is your invitation.

Go to kellenfluecigermedia.com, find the email.

Let's talk.

Number two, you want help doing what I just said, which is setting boundaries, ignoring everything else, you know, forgiving yourself completely, no matter what's happened in the past, setting appropriate boundaries so you can have access to your power and jacking up your self image.

That's all I do, is help people realize that I don't care what's come before, I don't care how many mistakes you've made.

You can clean them up as best you can and move forward with mighty power and a clear conscience, adding good to the world and make big impact and cash.

And that's not an empty promise.

But you won't know unless you get a hold of me.

So that's another reason.

First reason you got a story to share and I want to do it.

Second is you want help doing all this maybe crazy stuff you think I'm saying, and I'm a master at it.

I've done it for me and many others and that's all that I do.

You know, sometimes I'm writing books, sometimes I'm going to be in the studio later today working on music.

But that's all part of the gig.

So that's a second reason.

A third reason is you might have a place, a person, an event, a place where I can help you, not necessarily with your personal stuff, which is number two, building your business, but maybe you're holding an event where I can speak, encourage, teach, love, lift, bless, and not sell anything.

I don't do that.

I spoke this last summer at the International association of Near Death Studies and that was fabulous.

It's a four day conference they hold every year.

Next year's in Chicago.

I hope to go there and speak too.

But my point is this.

If I can serve you by touching, lifting, blessing, loving, encouraging your audience, your seminar, your webinar, your product or service.

Let's talk.

My mission this year is to reach 300 million people.

That's a boatload of people.

You're one right now.

And thank you for watching.

If you've got an idea about how to help me do that, I want to know all right, those are the three reasons you might want to talk to me.

Now I'm going to go back to more detail about improving your self image.

This one is critical, critical, critical.

I can't even tell you how critical this is.

This used to destroy me.

I grew up with a lot of physical abuse and believing with all my heart that I was not good enough.

No matter what I did, it sucked.

I couldn't.

It wasn't up to speed enough.

I should have anticipated every problem.

I should have known.

I should have thought of it ahead of time.

Everything that was wrong was my fault and a hundred other expressions of that.

That was my daily lunch all the time.

Well, as you might imagine, that was pretty sucky to live that way.

And it got so painful emotionally that that's why I turned to drugs and destroyed myself over and over again.

So improving what you believe you are is foundational.

Let's start with some basic truths.

You're a divine being.

You were created by God, just like me.

Number two, you have divine capability.

You do.

It's in your DNA.

You may not have used it, you may have stomped on it, you may have ignored it, but it's there.

So you have capabilities way bigger than you're using right now.

I promise I have found the best way to access those is to get good coaching, get help, you know, get some engine and help somebody in my corner helping me do that.

Which is why I love being the coaching world profession so much.

I love my coaches and I love being one.

So that's another thing.

Get a good.

Get a good coach in terms of improving your self image.

I don't care what has come before.

I don't care if all of those things that you think about yourself are true or partly true.

They can stop being true now.

Here's how.

Number one, anyone else's opinion of you simply doesn't matter.

Hello.

Yeah, you.

Anyone's opinion of you doesn't matter.

It is them looking at you through their glasses through their life experience, and they're going to think whatever they think.

I put a song, one of my songs out a month or two ago on a promotion list, excuse me, on Spotify.

And 95% of the playlists I submitted it to rejected it.

Hear that?

95% rejection.

So I could.

Excuse me, I could take that and think I suck.

I don't do good music, et cetera.

And there were a couple that said, yes, they were the wrong playlist.

I didn't think about that at all.

It was not a match.

I heard the Words.

This is not a match for our playlist.

Okay, Find some different playlists.

There's services that help me do that.

But when we take those kinds of feedback noises and we allow them to crush our spirit, then we can't move forward.

It becomes rocks and weight, a negativity that won't, you know, and then we can't get out of bed.

And we get out of bed and say, what's the use?

And it won't work anyway.

And everything else.

So number one, and this is not number one, this is in the context of improving your self image, which I think was number three.

First, ignore everything everybody says to you.

Just ignore it.

Water off a duck's back.

Now you are free.

And I would suggest listening to see if there's value there.

But to start with, especially if being like I was, and you thought everything everybody said was true, and if they didn't like you, you sucked.

And that was just the way it was, then dump it all.

And when you have, you know, gotten yourself back to ground zero where you truly love yourself and you know you're trying, you know you're valuable, you're busting your ass, you believe in yourself.

And I'll tell you about morning rituals in a minute.

Then you can take the position of, all right, I'm going to listen to feedback, but I'm not going to listen to it the way I used to.

Used to be, oh, it's true.

And everything they say, bad is just exactly right, and I'm no good.

If you do that, it's going to kill you.

So first, dump it all and then do these exercises.

1.

Spend five minutes a day looking in the mirror in your own eyes and saying, I love you.

And then again, I love you.

And if you need reasons, think of some.

I look at myself and I say, I love you for getting up every morning, doing your morning ritual, creating yourself as powerfully as you can, and then jumping in the day and busting your ass.

I love you for that, Kellen.

And I do.

And that's what I do when I make a mistake.

I don't say, I hate you because you make a mistake.

I say, kellen, I love you for taking that mistake, cleaning it up, apologizing or necessary fixing stuff, and then recommitting.

I love you for that.

And so forth.

So you don't wait till you're perfect to love yourself.

You are trying.

You are committed to growth.

And I don't mean pretend away mistakes.

We have to fix those and so forth, but we don't Continue to bleed.

If you cut yourself, you don't continue to bleed.

You bleed.

And then you dress it, clean it, dress it, and allow the healing to happen.

When we have these other kinds of mistakes, we keep opening the wound and we don't allow the healing to happen.

And if others with whom you associate are the ones that keep opening the wound, then end the association, end it.

Because you will never heal and you will never be able to add good to the world the way you want to access the power that is in you.

Now, here's some specific things that I do to create myself.

I referred to that again a minute ago and I've talked about this on lots of episodes, so I'll just briefly summarize it here.

Creating myself is an intentional set of actions that I do to create myself.

Kellen the ultimate alchemist in a particular way.

One I meditate.

I don't just sit there and say, oh, I have an objective and I'm thinking, usually focused, usually start with on my breath just to turn everything else off.

And then I bring in an objective focus.

It might be who do I need to love today?

Who do I need to send a message of love, encouragement or healing?

And it doesn't have to be clients.

It can be anyone who can I love today?

And because I take care of myself, my well of love is always full.

So I meditate, I pray intently and fiercely.

I have a document called a ptac, stands for Personal Truth and Commitment.

I'm going to mention another book.

It's this one called Living with Purpose and Power.

Get this book if you want to learn how to create yourself every day with awesome power that works every time, every day puts you in flow at the top of your game with full access to your creative genius.

Read this book.

And don't just read it, you have to do it.

Do what's in here.

Do what's in here.

If you don't, you know, it's not going to be anything for me, but it is going to make me sad because you have such power and if you don't use it now, maybe you're already doing that already.

But my self creation process in the morning has a spiritual element which I said was meditation, prayer.

And I recite a document called A Personal Truth and Commitment.

Ptac.

Ptac.

And it has several parts and PTAC part one is a statement of being who am I?

Some of the statements are declarations like I'm a son of God.

I am a son of Almighty God.

I know that's true.

And there's nothing I can do to change that.

Sometimes it's, you know, because I've done or not done a certain thing.

And other times it's in power.

But it reminds me and then changes everything about what I do that day.

Some declarations there are aspirational.

Aspirational, which is.

One of them is I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine to create miracles in the moment.

I'm not pretending to be perfect at that, but because I remind myself every day and multiple times a day it is in threaded through my conversation, pouring over your soul right now like warm sunshine.

My intention here is to create a miracle for you right now.

The miracle.

A sudden awakening of who you are.

A child of God with divine DNA.

An infinite possibility you are that.

I don't know what you're doing with it.

You know, if you don't use it, that's like getting a delivery of gold bars and leaving them in the basement till you die.

You didn't do anything with them.

Maybe you made the next generation happy.

Think about the action that you're taking.

My morning creation also includes physical stuff.

Stretching, push ups, you know, the regular kind of exercises.

Not for a long time, for 15 or 20 minutes.

And I do that even if I'm going to go somewhere and do vigorous activity later.

The third part is emotional and that includes relationships.

That's when I take an action about things I might have thought in meditation.

Who can I love?

Who can I send a message to?

Who can I support?

Who can I apologize to if something didn't go right?

Are there any things I need to clean up?

You know, that kind of stuff so emotional to me involves self love.

It involves loving others.

It involves cleaning up errors, mistakes and other things that may have happened because they always do, right?

And the last part is mental, which is where I read books.

I've got a big stack over there of 30 or 40 books.

Two stacks, actually.

40 would be too high.

And there are all kinds of different things, all kinds of different quantum physics to a transcription of.

You know, Werner Earhart used to run EST emotion EST and then turned that into Landmark.

And Landmark still running, but it's certainly not today like it used to be hardcore.

But anyway, I've got a book which is a complete transcription of the four day.

Four day event.

It was in 1980, something back when it was like, you know, hardcore.

And it was landmark.

That was still after the first iteration of est.

But anyway, funny, because I heard of EST when I was growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area and That's where Werner Earhart was based to start with.

So I do that morning ritual not because I have to.

I'm not trying to prove anything.

I do it because I get to create me.

And when I'm done with it, I feel power.

I have access, divine power, physical power, emotional power, mental power.

I have access to power.

And then I feel like it.

Then I feel good about talking to you and loving you.

I feel good about making these shows.

I feel good about people I got to talk to today, our client this morning, it was magic.

Why I did my morning creation.

I do it first so that every day I'm in that place.

So now we've talked about a whole bunch of things about how to access your power, from forgiving yourself to creating yourself every day.

And there's lots of more ways.

We can only fit so many in a half an hour.

But this is where I invite you once again, let's talk.

Kellenfluekegermedia.com go there and see if some of the books will help you.

YourUltimate Life podcast.com is where the podcast homepage.

And then there's all, it's all everywhere.

There's latalkradio.com I do an hour long live show on Tuesday afternoons at 4 Pacific.

All of these and books on Amazon.

All these things are just so I can give you stuff that's practically free.

Books cost a little bit, but everything else is free because.

But the cost doesn't matter.

People say, well, do I have to pay for it?

You know what the payment is the least, it's nothing.

Thousand, two thousand, ten thousand, fifty thousand dollars.

That's nothing.

Money comes and goes.

That work.

The blood, sweat and tears.

Accessing power you got may have to crawl over broken glass and fight your way through old habits, old beliefs.

People around you who hate your guts are discouraging you.

Ending some relationships, limiting contact in others.

You got to own your life if you want to access the truth of who you are.

Nobody else is going to do that, right?

Everybody else is going to ask you to do something for their benefit because they need that without worrying about what it does to you.

It's rare that someone who says, will you do this?

Is thinking about what that does to you.

Take control of your life.

Because if you don't, somebody else will build your ultimate life.

Because if you don't, somebody's going to use you to build theirs.

And that usually is not fulfilling.

I'm not saying don't be of service, do be of service.

But you figure out how and when you want to do it, and then go all in and love, serve and create.

There's no doubt in my mind the power that you have.

I have no idea whether or not you're using it.

I would love to.

I invite you again to reach out and connect.

We'll see you in the next episode, and I want to hear how you're creating your ultimate life.

Never hold back and you'll never ask why.

Open your heart right here, right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenfluker media.com if you want more free tools, go here.

Your Ultimate Life Cat subscribe Share.