The Real Reason You're Still Miserable (Even if You Meditate, Pray, or Read Self-Help Books)

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What is the engine that makes stuff happen?

Like, I want you to think about this because when we get excited, like we're going somewhere fun, we're going on vacation, or when I used to get up and go skiing on a beautiful day, or you're going to go, it doesn't matter, but somewhere that just excites you.

That emotion of excitement drives you.

Right now, this podcast is all about adding good to the world.

It's about creating a life that you love to live.

And no matter how much money you make and how self indulgent you are, that gets old really quick.

Buying cars and houses and vacations and places and things, that gets old.

It gets boring and it gets old.

What doesn't ever get old is love and service.

So I want to talk for a minute about what the real engine of growth and really of happiness is.

Purpose, prosperity and joy, which is yours for the taking, the engine for all that is love.

What is love?

So you see this sign behind me?

It says, I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine to create miracles in the moment.

And that might seem like a bold statement, but it's the truth.

Deep and profound and pure.

Love is the most powerful, most elevating, most awesome force in the universe.

It binds everything together.

It's attractive, it's joyful.

And you know that.

I want you to think right now of a time when you have felt such love.

I'm drawn back to the moment that I died and I had.

I was in the ICU and my heart stopped.

I flatlined, I sat up.

And the room was gray and it wasn't full of tubes.

In reality, I was strapped to a.

A gurney, a stretcher in the.

Excuse me, in the icu, and all tubed up and all the stuff.

I mean, you've seen pictures.

I've seen a picture of me, actually.

It's pretty scary looking, but you've seen the pictures of someone you know, or else on movies, but the room had disappeared like that.

And it was kind of this soft gray, a little misty.

And then I could see a door that was white on the other side.

And I wanted to be there.

And so I was standing by the door, leaning on my door jamb, and I looked across and there was a heavenly being on the other side.

And there was several conversations.

And that's the topic of, you know, my meeting God at the door between life and eternity.

But I can tell you what I felt at that moment was overwhelming.

Peace.

There was no trepidation, there was no fear, there was no negativity, there was no judgment.

All things that I had expected in meeting the divine because I was so.

I viewed myself as so foul, so not good, so less than whatever, right?

The truth of what I felt was the warm embrace of perfect love.

So being love.

And I, I use this statement, I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.

Because it, it reminds me of how that feels.

You've walked out in the sun and stretch your arms out and it just warms your soul and body and seems to penetrate all the way through.

And so that's a beautiful, for me, descriptor of that feeling.

And I add pouring over your soul like warm sunshine to create miracles in the moment.

Now, I know you felt that, you know, it would be fun.

What would be fun is to have an on demand way to have that feeling, an on demand way to be wrapped up in the arms of divine love.

What would it be like for you to have a method, a foolproof method to feel the divine love anytime you wanted or needed?

Mostly we think about it when we need it.

Well, that's what we're going to talk about today, because that's available to you.

The divine love is not conditional, okay?

And that doesn't mean that dumb or cruel or unkind things we do are excused.

It means that the love is constant.

It is there, it is inviting, it is asking us to come.

It is wanting.

It is a scripture somewhere that where Jesus is sad, he's weeping and he says, oh, Jerusalem, how often did I want to gather you as a hand gathereth her chickens under her wings, and you would not.

I think about how many times I have rejected that invitation.

And so now I want to talk with you about how to have an exact micro ritual that I use that works every time to expect to create that feeling of love and expect everyday miracles to happen.

So this is part of this whole series, your Ultimate Life.

The only reason I'm doing this podcast is because I love you.

I want you to know how much you're loved, how much you're worth, how valuable you are, how powerful you are, how important you are.

I want you to have that and know that and tuck it away in your heart or write it on your forehead, because that's the thing that matters more than anything else.

Because from a place of love.

And powered by love, we can create anything.

We can overcome any obstacle.

We can reframe any difficulty, we can overcome every struggle.

And without love, even the smallest thing becomes difficult.

So let's talk about how to do this.

My mission.

My mission.

And I'm committed.

You know, broken glass, walk over broken glass, crawl over hot coals, whatever it is.

I am that committed to reach 300 million people and give the message and the method to allow you to move from learned helplessness, addiction to mediocrity and settling and victim mindset.

Those are the unholy trinity, right?

To move from that to living a life where you are, you have fierce life ownership, meaning you know you can create what you want.

You have in a commitment to excellence and a heart to serve.

Now maybe you, or maybe someone you know has moved from one side of that to the other, you know, committed to excellence and owning their life fiercely and creating or with a complete heart and with a heart to serve.

Those three are the holy Trinity.

Not in the sky, but you know, of emotion.

Maybe you've seen that transformation and you know the difference it makes for them, for everyone around them, for people in their influence, for their work, for their joy, for even for business.

Can you imagine?

Picture 300 million people making that shift.

That's what I'm about to.

I'm going to help 300 million people wake up and make that shift.

Not just talk about it, but change from learned helplessness, addiction to mediocrity and victim mindset to fierce life ownership, a commitment to excellence and a heart to serve that will change the world.

That's what I'm doing.

Love is the foundation for that change.

And I have an acronym, WIPOS W I P O S and it stands for worth, identity, possibility, ownership and sovereignty.

And I want you to think about that for a minute.

Your worth is unchanging.

It is infinite.

To your Creator.

You're worth anything.

And that's evidenced by the length to which God goes to give us opportunity.

Like one of the foundational pieces of this existence is choice.

You always get to choose.

And even if you're physically constrained or laying in a bed because you're sick, no matter what else is going on around us or happening to us, we always get to choose what we think, how we react, what our emotions are.

That is our complete, unique, sovereign realm.

So worth, identity, possibility is a recognition of what you can create.

Ownership is recognition of the fact that you own your life.

And sovereignty means you're the only one that owns it.

Now, sadly, we Often give it away to circumstance or others or, you know, things that are going on around us.

We give away our power, we give away our sovereignty.

But WIPOs, remember that your worth, your identity, your possibility, your ownership and your sovereignty.

Now I want you to remember this if you remember nothing else.

I said, I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine to create miracles in the moment.

You know what you were created by?

The same love that I was.

The Creator created us from love.

I learned that powerfully and without question.

There could be no variation or question from that when I had those near death experiences.

And if you want to read about them, they're in a book called Meeting God at the Door.

And that's where I had those three conversations with God when I died.

I had a fatal illness and I died and they were able to restart my heart, but not until I chose, when I was standing at that doorway to come back.

And one of the pieces of absolute certain knowledge I came back with is that you and me were lovingly, intentionally created beings.

You are created from love.

You have infinite possibility.

Now I want you to think about I gave you those three unholy trinity and the Holy Trinity of emotion.

Not again, not beings in the sky.

But we live in a world of learned helplessness where we have a story that we can't do anything about it.

It's not my fault.

I didn't do it.

I can't fix it.

And you know what?

I can't control the weather either, or the government or the outcome of an election or laws that get passed or something.

And yes, we have our say to vote and to participate in everything else.

Learned helplessness is a gross misunderstanding of a truth.

The truth is I don't control lots of things like the weather and what other people do, think, say and you know, laws that get passed and all that stuff.

I don't control that.

I use the phrase I don't control the weather because that's all like that stuff happens but what I do and, but, and so that's.

I am essentially helpless.

Meaning I can't fix, I can't control that.

But in every circumstance I can control who I am in respect to that, how I think, how I talk, how I feel, whether or not I get involved, you know, that, that kind of thing.

And learned helplessness is, is a, is an expansion of the truth that we don't control everything to.

I don't control anything.

And that's like, well, I can't help it.

There's nothing I can do about it.

While There are a few things that's true for there are so many more in your micro life that it's not true for.

Every single day you get get to control whether or not you're happy.

Every single day.

You get to control whether or not you're joyful.

Every single day you're.

You control whether or not you love, you exude love, bitterness, angerness, Angerness, there you go.

Anger, frustration, or anything else you, you control that.

But we learn to be helpless in the face of externalities.

Stuff happens and that made me mad.

It, they made me, you know, I was rage.

And external things made you.

No, they didn't.

Not today.

Not ever.

So fierce life ownership.

Fierce ownership versus learned helplessness.

Those are the two opposite ends.

When you take fierce ownership and by use the word fierce, you're not giving it to anyone.

I own my feelings, I own my thoughts, I own my actions.

I own how I treat you.

I own how I treat me.

I own all that.

And I'm going to make the very most of it just because I can.

That is the, the idea of fierce ownership.

Now the problem or one of the difficulties that we face right now is that most people feel love starved because they're not experiencing love, being loved at any given time.

They're feeling marginalized, hated, pushed out of the way, ignored, not valuable.

You know, a lot of other words that you feel unless you've done the work or similar work that we're talking about here.

So.

And we live in a super reactive world where as soon as something, somebody says something, somebody's offended, somebody's making a TikTok video, calling people names, you see that?

I mean, I live in Canada, but watching the, the, this whole thing play out in the United States about the bitterness about the last election and who's on what side and it's, it's embarrassing.

It is so learned helplessness, you know, bitter vitriol.

We're better than that and we can't control them.

But you know what?

You and me, we can control us.

So what if we lived as love?

I am love.

Wow.

Pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.

To create miracles in the moment.

So here's a question for you.

You know, I've talked a lot about the Triple Helix.

The Triple Helix is the way to find your purpose.

People talk often.

I know I want to help people, but I don't have a purpose.

I don't have meaning.

I've taught in great detail in other episodes how to find your purpose.

And I'll do it briefly now, but this Is this is the tool.

You and I, we each have a set of skills, things we learn to do.

Probably what you're selling in the marketplace, jobs you've had, engineer, architect, doctor, gardener, florist, you know, painter.

It's a set of skills you have.

That's one of the strands.

The second strand is the gifts.

The natural things that you do really well.

You have gifts.

Maybe you have a gift of listening, a gift of understanding, a gift of kindness, a gift of organization, a gift of being, you know, attracting people to you.

A gift of explanation, a gift of action.

All those are gifts.

And those gifts combined with your skills, wow, that is a superpower.

And the third strand is your life experience.

And that includes, in fact, especially all the difficult things you've been through.

Because those difficult things can turn you into a bitter person.

That's negative.

Or they can refine you and turn you into someone with empathy and love.

So what if this moment you decided you are going to be love in all moments, no matter what people do, and use your skills, your gifts and your life experience to love, to serve.

Like that's an invitation.

And if you're thinking, yeah, but what's in it for me?

Well, I read this Facebook post the other day and someone was talking about prayer.

And someone asked someone else in the post, well, you pray.

What have you ever gained?

And the person said, nothing.

But let me tell you what I've lost.

Bitterness, anger, revenge, negativity.

And there was a list of 10 or 12 words that were all those things that he had lost through prayer.

You and I can make a real difference.

We can't change the world and we can't change it all at once.

But you can change your world.

And the only place to start, I was going to say the best place, but the only place to start is in your heart.

And that is to become love.

To choose.

And that is not some hippie woo woo thing.

It is a choice to be kind, to look for the good, to show forgiveness, compassion, grace and patience also to yourself.

That choice will transmute your pain into power, to empathy, to love.

And remember, love is the power that holds everything together.

I want you to think about it.

Love is the power that holds the relationship together.

Hate drives things apart.

All the positive emotions are attractive.

Kindness, empathy, love, service.

All those things draw people together.

Being mean, gossiping, fearful, hatred, negativity, those blow things apart.

So it's clear to see the creative and generative power that love possesses, which is the greatest of all.

So let me ask you to.

I'm going to give you a challenge right now.

And here's the challenge.

What can you do to show love today with your skills, the skills that you have in your triple Helix, the skills that you've developed, how can you choose to love someone, to serve them, to bless them with a skill that you have?

Next question is, how can you choose to love and serve someone with your gifts, Listening, empathy, kindness.

How can you choose to love someone with your life experience?

Maybe I talked to somebody yesterday in and his description of the life he had been through.

And I say been through because that's what it was described as was holy hell.

Bitterness, abuse, vicious beyond description.

And I believe I'm not even questioning one moment that the description was accurate, because whether I or someone else would view those occurrences as.

As dramatic as this individual did doesn't even matter to him.

They were, and they had that effect.

So horrible, monstrous abuse and vicious bitterness.

And here's the truth.

However many things you or I have been through, you can let them ruin you or refine you.

And sometimes we do both.

I've certainly let some of my bitter experiences ruin me for a day or a week or a month or a year or even a decade.

But there's always a choice to let them refine you.

Just like gold in a fire.

The refiner's fire is a perfect analogy for that.

And it's hot and it's hard, but when you come out, the purity of the gold is just like love.

Like this color behind my shoulder.

I hope you're looking at the video.

That beautiful, attractive, golden sunshine pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.

So here is.

I said I would give you an exercise.

The thing that I do is something.

One of the things is notice and choose.

And that sounds really simple.

Three words, notice and choose.

Most people go through life not noticing what they're feeling.

They don't even stop to say, you know what?

I'm really frustrated right now.

They're just feeling frustration and acting frustrated and stomping around.

And there's a better.

There's a better way to do that.

And here's an offering, an opportunity.

I'm frustrated as heck right now.

Okay, cool.

I acknowledge that I'm frustrated.

What do I choose to do with that frustration?

I get to choose.

What do I choose to do with that frustration?

That's a powerful and interesting question, isn't it?

Notice and choose.

So that involves first developing the skill to notice and the willingness to just pause for two or three seconds and notice where you are, not physically, usually, but emotionally.

Energetically.

Where am I?

Frustrated, angry, happy, joyful.

And then what am I going to do with that feeling?

Most of us feel something and then react and reactively.

Your choice to take that sovereignty, ownership and sovereignty we talked about earlier, about your life.

Because we're talking about creating a life of purpose, prosperity and joy.

But that's creating.

Created.

It doesn't happen to us.

Stuff happens.

But we choose what we create out of it.

So notice and choose.

Pause, breathe, notice.

What am I feeling?

What do I choose to do?

Most of the time we forget we even have a choice.

Something happens, we get pissed.

Something.

Somebody cuts us off, we cuss or yell or flip them off or rage.

You get bad email.

We live in this reactive mode.

Stop.

Notice.

Wow, this happened.

I wasn't expecting.

This is not what I wanted or expected.

What do I choose to do?

Question I ask myself often is, what is the gift here?

And that comes from a certainty that I have that I can turn anything that happens to into a gift.

So can you.

I'm not magic.

It's a skill that you learn.

So I am pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.

I'm inviting you to take fierce ownership of your life.

Exercise sovereignty.

You're the king or queen, the empress or emperor of your domain.

And that domain doesn't extend to causing anybody else to do anything.

It extends to you and all of you and everything about you.

What you say, what you do, what you think, who you are, how you show up in the world.

And believe me, mastering that is more difficult than anything else.

He who master or she who masters herself has truly won the battle.

So I want to talk about something else you can have starting so you.

Everybody knows I start a day with what I call a dcp, Daily Creation Process.

So I'm going to give you a practice.

What if you had.

I'm going to use the words I am love, because that's how we started.

And I'm going to use something with each of those.

So I am love.

That's seven things.

Seven things to do to create joy.

No matter what's going on.

First, no matter what the circumstance is, but especially if you're uptight or something's gone poorly and your normal thing would be to react in some way.

Stop and say, I choose to be loving.

Your intention.

I choose to get even.

I choose to be mad.

We often choose that without thinking.

I choose to be loving.

That might be a monstrous shift for you, I don't know.

But that's the I A awareness, which is just the notice part.

What am I feeling?

Pause and just breathe.

Breathing is.

It was that song that Anna Nolik did that I really liked, Breathe.

And it says, you know, you can't control the track of life, but just breathe.

That gives you space to think.

It gives you space to make a choice.

There's a book called the Wedge by Patrick Carney, and he's talking about this space between stimulus and response.

And he's talking about it in terms of extreme sports and how people do impossible things.

They operate in that space.

You can do that.

That's a really interesting book, by the way, the Wedge.

So A is awareness, and that's a habit to develop.

The next thing is think of M as a mirror and look in the mirror and say, how would love, pure love, see this situation?

Because that causes you and me to look at stuff in a completely different way.

I don't know.

How would love see this situation?

Somebody cuts you off in traffic, love might say, wow.

I wonder if they're got a trauma going on and they're rushing to something.

I wonder if they didn't see me and they wouldn't have done that otherwise.

I wonder if they have such a negative thing going on in their life that they're just behaving bitterly.

But that evokes empathy.

How would love see this?

L stands for light.

Now, there's an exercise that many systems use of meditation.

And that is when you're doing breathing, visualize.

Now there's this beautiful light behind my right shoulder.

And I don't know, that might look left to you, but this is my right shoulder.

But anyway, behind that shoulder, there's that beautiful light there.

And when you breathe, you breathe in light.

And sometimes I breathe it in a sparkling light like it's got this golden glitter in it.

And I not only breathe it in my lungs, but I visualize it going all through my body, everywhere.

And it is so glorious.

And if I do that, just even for a few breaths, my lungs, my chest, my body starts to tingle.

So light, visualize warm sunlight filling your chest with each breath.

O is offer.

And that goes to serving.

Offer some kindness.

Smile.

Speak.

Text somebody something.

Say a prayer for something.

V.

We'll use the word vibrate, which is, you know, raise your vibe, feel gratitude.

Okay, you get to choose what you feel.

And if you're in the habit of abdicating that and just going to some emotion, set it up.

I intend.

How would love see this?

Awareness is first pause and breathe.

How would love see this?

Visualize the warm light.

Then you're in A place of offering some micro gift that will raise your vibration.

I want to say something specifically about gratitude, because that's one I've really practiced a lot, and that's this.

You know, the feeling that goes through your body when something happens that.

That just floods you with gratitude.

I'm so grateful.

Right?

Whether you've said it out loud or in your.

In your mind, and there's a physical experience with that, well, you can have that anytime you want.

I'll tell you how.

Pick something you're truly grateful for.

For me, I always have my beautiful angel, heavenly wife, Joy.

I just think about her, and if I stay thinking about her, I am filled with that gratitude.

Another thing is I think about my creator and the miracle that I'm still alive and that I'm still loved after of all that's gone on in my life.

When I think about that and stay focused, my body fills with neurotransmitters that are from gratitude, and it's profound.

E is evidence.

And that is just notice the shift.

Because I can promise you, if you fill yourself with an intention to be loving and you're aware the notice part, pause and breathe.

Ask in the mirror, how would love feel?

Visualize warm light filling your chest.

Offer some micro gift of love, kindness, or a smile.

Notice the vibration in the body of this, the outcome of this, and then see the evidence, the shift in you.

You will create a miracle.

It might be a micro miracle, but it is a miracle.

When you can go from furious negative to beautifully positive, that's a miracle.

And the thing is, it's in your hands.

You can do that anytime you want, I promise.

And the more you do it, the better you'll get at it.

Now, I want to give you a challenge today.

After you've listened to this podcast, I challenge you to do five on the spot.

I am Love acts.

Five things you wouldn't normally do that come from a place of love.

I invite you to share those on social, share those on social media.

Maybe if you want to, you can use the hashtag your ultimate life.

But share them.

Because love, when we share it, it magnifies, it grows, it's contagious, and it's beautiful.

The truth.

You're a divine being.

The truth.

You are conceived and created by love.

The truth.

You and I are built to love and serve each other.

I do that.

Creating this podcast is a labor of love.

I love you.

Even though I'm not looking at you.

I don't need your permission or your agreement to love you, to want the best for you to want to serve you, to do what I can, to lift and bless and encourage you.

Here's what I know.

If you choose to do those five acts of love and and report them, put them on your social.

If you want to use the hashtag your ultimate life, that'd be great.

But do them.

Experience that feeling of love, the truth.

I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.

To create miracles in the moment.

I dare you to get into that challenge and do that.

Miracles aren't just events.

They're really choices.

Think about that.

You and me, we have the emotional, the spiritual and physical capacity to create love.

To create miracles in someone's life.

To be that beacon of light that shows up at a moment that matters and someone is blessed in their hearts in a miraculous way.

That is a big piece of creating the life you love.

Your ultimate life.

Now I want to give you one final invitation and that is if you have a story of resilience and transformation you'd like to share.

I need guests or I want guests like that.

People that want to share their stories of transformation and growth and love and kindness from this to this.

Sometimes people have those kinds of transformations and they want to do more than just talk about it.

They want to share them in a big way.

How can I help people with what I've learned?

Well, there's a challenge coming up right soon.

There it is on the screen.

Dream BuildWrite It.com www.dream buildwriteit.com and if that goes to a 404, then just put DreamBuild write it.com go there and register for that challenge because that is for you.

If you.

Excuse me.

If you have a desire to tell your story and affect people in a big way, regardless, do your five acts of love today.

Love yourself.

Love is the most powerful force in the world.

And remember, you are love.

I am love.

Pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.

To create miracles in the moment.

And every time I remember that and I act in the way that we've described today, I move another step, sometimes a giant length leap forward in living the ultimate right here, right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change and everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenfluker media.com if you want more free tools, go here.

Your ultimate life ca subscribe, Share RA.