Unfinished Business Is Killing Your Power

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It's time for true. This is the place for tools, power, and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve. Your ultimate life.

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Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. oh

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Welcome to your ultimate life. The podcast that I created for you to help you create purpose, prosperity and joy. You know, I just realized we're just coming up on six years, six years this April, and this will be out toward the end of February. So March, April, two more months, month and a half, and we'll be marking six. So we'll be finishing six years. started in April 20 at the pen in the pandemic. One, two, three, four, five, six.

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How fun is that? So the last several episodes in the next couple are about your own personal story. We talked about why, how to make money with it. We've talked about why it's hard to talk about. We've talked about the things that hold people away from, you know, telling it from thinking they don't have anything to share and on and on and on. And I even had a couple of the LA talk radio live on Tuesday afternoons, episodes about about that same topic. Now, I want to talk about

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Another aspect of this, it's so important and you see here on the screen, dream, build, write it dot com. Dream, build, write it dot com. Today's podcast is brought to you by the Transformational School of Authorship and Creation. The Transformational School of Authorship and Creation is bringing you this. And here's the reason. When you go deep and tell your own story, it will change you. It will change you for the good.

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Permanently and empower you in ways you cannot know right now You do not know until you do the process now You may have gone to therapy if you've had traumatic things you may have had lots of coaching and those are all good things I've done both plenty of therapy plenty of coaching myself and In the coaching process so helping people create a business is easy Helping people people grow their business is easy Marketing is easy

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creating products is easy. Those are easy compared to the courage that it takes to be vulnerable, to tell your story and make an impact. You know, sometimes there's two kinds of folks that do this. One is just worried about money. I didn't need to do whatever the frick I can do to make money. Well, you know, you can market on Amazon, you can do drop shipping, you can create all kinds of products or services. You can be an affiliate, sell other people's products or services.

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And all those things are great. And I'm not your source for that. If you're looking for affiliate marketing help or other things, we don't do that. What I am is what I'm about is helping you make the most impact you possibly can. The most, the biggest, the fastest affect the most people and incidentally make the most money and have the most fun. Think about that. Isn't that interesting that that lines up? You can make the most money, have the biggest impact in the world and have the most fun.

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but it's the most difficult to do. Because it requires truth, it requires vulnerability, and it requires sharing, perhaps in a way that feels scary for you. And that's a good thing. Because that vulnerability requires courage. Somebody, the other day I saw a post that said vulnerability isn't about what you share, it's about how hard it is to share. What it costs you, how difficult it is to be vulnerable, to be exposed in that way. So for some people,

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a particular episode, someone might talk about a bankruptcy they've had in their life. Me, I'm one of those. And it might be tough to share because somehow they have a story that that's the end of the universe to have that financial situation. Others might not feel that at all. And so vulnerability for that person's nothing. It isn't about the financial event. So true vulnerability carries power because when you share something with

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people that is difficult for you. sense that and we respect that. When someone talks to me and this happens all the time and they tell me deep and difficult and hard things, I have a respect for them. And it grows the more truthful and honest they are, not only about the thing, it's not about the difficult thing, but it's about the growth afterwards. Because difficult things can knock us into the ditch and then there we sit. Plop. Well, what good is that?

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Think about Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey and the nine Star Wars movies and everything else. The hero's journey, you know that it's about an ordinary person getting into an extraordinary circumstance, listening to the call to go forward, finding a mentor or a helper or a coach, giving the wizard kind of person, giving them power or insight or opportunity or direction.

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and then having an extraordinary set of things that change the person on the journey and whack it into my light over there, change the person on to the in the journey. And in that change state, they come back to the regular world, but not before they hit the proverbial dark night, the last most difficult thing. And crossing that threshold is what fascinates us. We root for the heroes.

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We want them to come back and to rise up and to meet the occasion. It's funny. The Terminator movies reminded me of that. You remember, right? The Terminator, I think at the end of every single one, right when you thought the machine was defeated, at the last second, it raised up again one more time after you thought it was over and they had to, you know, deal the crushing final blow. And it's not only those movies. I just happen to remember that.

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That changed person then comes back to regular life and is able to lead the village to safety or whatever. You have that journey. You don't have to do anything with it. And it may not be a village you're leading to safety and it may not be as dramatic as fighting a robot from the future. But the journey you've been through is your most valuable asset. And that's why

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You and me, we have the ability to make the most difference with that. That's power. That trip through hell, the dark nights, the difficulty, the struggles, the betrayals, maybe it is financial bankruptcy, illness, death, death of a loved one, ripping off by a business partner, fatal illnesses, whatever it is, abuse, deep struggles. every struggle that you or I have can be viewed

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as a learning experience, not as a game. Not because, I'm going to say, okay, we're going to, what's there learn here? D to D and pretend that it's not hard. It is hard. And it's supposed to be hard because in that extremity, you and I have learned something powerful and that power needs to be shared. Why do you think those books keep getting written and those movies keep getting made that make millions of dollars and people flock to them?

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because they encourage us. They share what it's like to be human from a new and different perspective every time. Even if we've seen the story over and over, the characters are different, the problem is different, the setting is different, and they resonate with us. That's why we lean forward in our seats and we even sometimes cheer or yell at the movie screen. I've done that a time or two. So think about that.

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Here's the thing that happens. Okay? You want to do good in the world. I know you do. You wouldn't be here listening to your ultimate life. The ultimate life, the life of purpose, prosperity, and joy, the only way to get there is to serve. To love and serve. To love and serve. It is founded on love. It is based on love. I don't care how many times you've been hurt. Forgiveness is the answer, always. Love is the power. And we are drawn to serve others every single time.

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Now, this episode is not about forgiveness. I've done a bunch of those. Forgiveness doesn't mean put yourself back in danger or pretend something away or excuse someone's behavior. None of that. I'm talking about you unloading the burden by forgiving either yourself or the other so that you are unburdened. Whatever needs to happen to the other will happen either in this life or in the cosmic wheel of karma. You know that.

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So just let that be where it is. Living with that pain yourself is just meaning that your life is going to be less than it could be. Why would we do that? Why would we live that way? So I'm assuming you don't. I'm assuming you want and you're yearning you want to add good to the world. So the reason I've been talking about books, dream, build, writeit.com, go there and sign up. Doesn't even cost anything, but it'll be the most revelatory week of your life about how to find your personal story.

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how to turn it into a book, create products, make a difference in the world and create some cash. Wow. What a thing. All right. So when I talk to people about this, here's some things that I hear. There's, they're just absolutely stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck. One of the stucknesses, I don't have a story. One of the stucknesses is my story ain't good. Some people that hear my story say,

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Oh man, I got nothing like you. You don't need that. You know what you need? You need exactly what you have. Your voice, my voice, they are tuned to make the most out of our experiences. If I had your experiences, I would suck at sharing them. My voice is for mine. If you had my experiences, you would suck at sharing them. Your voice is for you. And I don't mean only your voice voice. Your writing, your sharing, your love.

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The path that each of us walk is the optimal path for our own development. So the stuckness is, ah I don't know. I don't have anything to share. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to start. There's already been a million of these written. Who cares about me? All those same similar things. So here's, here's the truth. You are stuck because something is unfinished. You are stuck because you have unfinished business and you might be saying, okay, what the hell does that mean?

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Well, here is one, one meaning of that. You know, you've been through some difficult experiences, but they're not finished. You haven't done the work you've grown, but maybe you haven't integrated that learning that experience or set of experiences you had is still over there and it hasn't fully informed your life yet. I'll give you an example. I had years of addiction. Okay. And.

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I used to hide that I was terrified of it. People would know I had addiction, alcohol problems and that kind of stuff. Because I believed it meant something about me. I was a suckwad. I failed. I was a loser because I gave into those things. And if I'd just been, you know, good and right and everything else, wouldn't happen. Well, that's not true. But until I did two things, until I accepted me fully and beautifully and loved me like I am with all my old warts and flaws.

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And two, until I gleaned the learnings from those experiences. That's called integration. As you sit here right now, you are whole and complete. If you are, period. And your power depends on how well you've integrated the learnings of your struggles. So I have power to speak, to write, to create videos, podcasts and everything else.

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and do it convincingly, I know because thousands of people have told me so. OK, it comes because I've integrated all of those experiences. And that isn't some fancy word for weaving it together. I've soaked up the learning and the power. have changed my life because of those learnings completely and dramatically. And that integration gives me the ability to be vulnerable.

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The ability to share hard things, the ability to connect with other people that have hard things like you. And I have developed the ability to write, the ability to help you write. And that's one of the ways that I add good to the world. Now, I don't know all the ways you add good to the world, but I bet the list is as long as my arm. And what I've discovered in helping people and coaching now for nearly 20 years is this, the most

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powerful coaching we can offer people, anyone comes because of our own experiences. It comes because of what we've been through and what we've become because we have been through XYZ. That's integration. And that I know that makes sense to you and you're like, yeah, duh. Okay. So if you have a sense of something unfinished,

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If some old thing or a bunch of old things is like repressed or pushed down or ignored or, you know, don't bother me, don't want to think about it. Those are not finished. And you can finish them or not. You know, you're going to handle moving through life however you want to. But if you want to change the world, that's my mission. And my world might be my neighborhood, my city, my province, my country, my world.

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You can do it most effectively when you have completed integration or learning or growing from those things. Now, this self-development stuff is, of course, a mountain without a top. Nobody's ever going to say with any truth, OK, I'm done. We're done when we take our last breath. We're done when we go home to God, creator and present whatever we've made of ourselves. I mean, that's all we're taking home, right? We came with nothing.

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We're going home with nothing except what we've learned from our experience. So one of the reasons we get stuck is we've got unfinished business, old experiences without meaning, wisdom that has not been expressed, lessons learned, but never claimed. So I want you to think about this. Lessons learned, but never claimed. So you may know something.

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You may have learned something like in your body learned. I don't mean intellectual learning, but you have never shared it. You have never taught it. You've never proclaimed it as it were. When you do that, when you own the truth of what you've learned, your ability to serve and to make money and to help people goes up by 10 times because you claim that. had a conversation with somebody the other day talking about this very thing.

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about their a certain set of experiences in their lives in their life. And we were saying, OK, what does that sound like? And as we worked on the language, we finally said a thing, right, that they were had a superpower of ah and they said it, helping people in a very particular way. And I said, and it resonated and I felt it and I said that say that and they said, wow, I've never said it like that or even like that, anything like.

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never claimed that. That's because until that moment, it was unclaimed. It was unfinished. Okay, so the process involves a structured process going back through your life, looking at events that meant a big deal to you, and then doing some thinking according to a particular pattern that I have outlined in the book, the story arc, that is the curriculum for

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this this challenge here, dreambuildwriteit.com and the Transformational School of Authorship, which follows, which is opening now at the end of this month and is the sponsor for the show. So that process will help you find and integrate and claim your superpower and get quote unstuck. hate that. I'm stuck. I hate that so much. is so like overused. OK.

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So let's talk about how you can tell if you've got unfinished stories. Okay. There are characteristics that we show that we demonstrate that we act like when we are unfinished. Let me give you some examples. So one is a low grade dissatisfaction. If you have a life, a job, a relationship, a self image, you look at yourself in the mirror and say, I love you. That's not even true.

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If that's not true and you don't feel it in your body and in your heart and all the way down to your toes, a low grade dissatisfaction where kind of the days suck or they sort of suck a few good ones, but mostly, oh, I wish it was better. If your life is filled with low grade satisfaction, you have unexpressed. Or unfinished business. Another telltale sign is a loss of motivation.

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Okay, unfinished business.

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sits like a weight around your neck. like carrying a bunch of rocks in your backpack. It might be anger at someone who did something to you at some time. It might be anger at yourself because of something you did or didn't do. It might be a low-grade fear that someone's going to unearth that skeleton in the closet. And so low profile, low this.

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You know, holding back, withholding uh intimacy, closeness, friendships, those kinds of things. Loss of motivation is a big sign. You've got unfinished business. OK, and none of this is fatal or permanent. These are just telltale signs. Another powerful one that I see a lot is people say they are underutilized. I'm not doing all I could do. I know.

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I could do more. Sometimes it comes out in a funny way. I've heard people say, you know, if I was the real me, the world can't handle me. Okay. How do you know? So you have a story, not you maybe, but a person, many that I've talked to have said that. And you know, that comes from a story, a story that says, I am so different out of the box, outrageous that, oh, I would be. uh

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An alien canceled, somehow not allowed or something in the universe. That's just nonsense. That is fear speaking. What it really sounds like is, well, I'm afraid they wouldn't like me. Well, maybe they won't. But if you want your superpower, if you want your superpower, superpower to add good to the world, to make a real difference that matters and to fill your bank account to overflowing.

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Being you is the best you've got. I'm going to say that again because being fully and completely and unapologetically you is the best you've got. Everything else is second rate. Really. So think about that and let that sit. So there's one more telltale sign that I want to talk about for a minute and that's this. A sadness.

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Quiet resentment or sadness. So if you find yourself resenting someone else's success, if you find yourself frustrated or jealous of other people's notoriety or the amount of money they make or the prominence they might have or something mundane like the followers they have or anything like that, if you find yourself hooked in that ah swamp, you've got unfinished business.

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Now, now that you know some of those and there are other signs, but there's four real ones. Low grade dissatisfaction, loss of motivation, a feeling completely underutilized, like you know you're good for more and perhaps being resentful or jealous or angry of someone or a quiet sadness. You might even misinterpret that as depression. Go see a shrink and then get diagnosed as having, you know, some kind of depression related thing. And you might.

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and it can be cured. I'm not pretending to be a diagnostician and I'm not prescribing anything. What I've noticed in my life and the lives of those that I work with is it radically changes how you feel about yourself, how excited you are about life, how joyfully you get up each morning and go through every day, how easily you handle setbacks, completion. So let's talk about how to do that. Okay. In this part, I want to talk for a minute about why

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Expression in a book or in speaking or in YouTube videos or whatever you choose to do creates completion. It creates completion. Now, again, I'm not trying to play therapist here. I've been thousands of hours in offices myself, but I'm not trying to play therapist. Here's the thing. Speaking things out loud to yourself, even often by itself, creates completion.

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You acknowledge something for the first time, maybe completely. I went through a ritual during my healing processes when I was struggling and understanding the depth of MDD, major depressive disorder, I'd struggled under for years, causing self-sabotage and addictions and all kinds of stuff. I did a ritual. wrote a bunch of stuff down on a piece of paper, several pieces of paper, lengthy and long in the most ah graphic, you know,

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volatile language I could possibly muster to connect with the depth of power that I felt or the depth of pain and then read it out loud to the sky, speaking the words for the first time in my life and then burned it in a ceremony and created completion with some things. And you know what? After that, they no longer had power. And as a bonus, I was able to express them in a good and productive and helpful way.

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to lift and bless others. I think I'm on my 23rd or 24th book. I'm writing two right now. every book that I have written has come from this journey that I described, this arc of your life. I call it the story of your own becoming. So if you've got unfinished business, this is a powerful tool to help get completion.

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And again, I'm not trying to substitute for therapy or whatever you might need, but I have seen it happen. Dream build, write it dot com over and over again in the book challenge. I have people tell me that go with me for the long haul to write the book and publish it and everything that they have completely changed their relationship with their past. Believe that out of their mouth, I have completely re understood and reimagined and recreated my experience with my life and up to now.

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I am a different person because I see all of those events through a different lens. What a powerful blessing. Now, if you don't think that creates power for them to be expressive, to lift, to bless, to make money, to create product services, keynotes, speaking, uh coaching, whatever it is you want to create to add good to the world. It does. It does. It does. And I promise that for you, too.

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Not because I'm magic, but because I've done it over and over and over again with you. People just exactly like you. So there's another thing that creates completion. Writing is someone I was in a mastermind once 10 years ago or someone somewhere or more. Someone said writing is the doing part of thinking. And I don't know if they coined that phrase or got it from somewhere, but I liked it. And the act of writing, because think about this, a book is a monologue, right?

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Like you don't get to pop into the reader's head and answer questions in the middle and stuff like that. A book is essentially a monologue. So when we write, we think about and articulate what we have to say as well as we can because we're only going to get to say it once. Right. And that work of figuring out the best way to express it and explain it clarifies and creates power for you. Awesome. Mind blowing power for you.

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to communicate, to lift, to bless. And in that process, you get completion. Sometimes people write about forgiveness and they write about the acts that they did. I had someone that went through the book process with me that said in the middle they went and they had some conversations that were hard and they created some forgiveness on one or both sides and closed some loops and emptied some old trash cans.

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pulled out rocks out of the backpack. And so the book writing process caused them to take some actions that clean things up in ways they didn't imagine were possible. Now think about that. It isn't just about cleaning up their relationship. It's about the power that they get because it's clean. Whatever your struggles are or have been, if they were completely cleaned up and they no longer had any power over you and you were able to give full

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sway to this yearning that you and I have to serve to add good to the world. Imagine how powerful you'd be and contrast that with how held back or uh reluctant you feel when things are not yet completed or resolved. That can all disappear. Another thing that is really powerful about creating completion is teaching. Teaching. I'm editing a book right now.

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from one of my clients that finished, went through the book challenge the end of last year. And magic and reading her her expressions of her own learning is touching me once again about the common humanity that we have and about the depth of growth that's possible for every single human, you included right here, right now, you. And the growth isn't just for your own edification, it's for you to create

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Guess what? Purpose, prosperity and joy. What is that? Your ultimate life. And that means lifting and blessing those around you, yourself first, creating cash. You know, I used to hear, I used to go to events. I haven't been to one for a while where I just went as an attendee. I usually go now when I'm speaking. fact, always. But years ago in 2012 and 11, 12, 13, I went to

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A number of events when I was earlier on in this, and I would hear people say, you know, your story is powerful and your life experience and using different words, but the same things that I'm telling you right now. And I used to think it was baloney. I have no story. Doesn't matter. Nobody could care less about whatever I've been through, you all that sort of conversation. And in the years in between, I've learned that not only was I so wrong, I can't believe it, but it is easier today.

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in 2026 to do what I heard then and am doing now, then it's ever been. So if you have had this yearning in you to share your life journey, and I don't mean a memoir for people feel sorry. I'm talking about the true, eternal and powerful learnings that you have that you know could save somebody else misery, pain and struggle. If you've had the yearning to do that, this is your podcast. If you've had a desire to turn that into cash,

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Dream Build Write It right there on the screen. Dreambuildwriteit.com. Right now is your time. It starts in two weeks. When this comes out, it'll only be a day or two. Go there, sign up. It doesn't cost you anything. Explore that truth because it's possible. All right. So today we're talking about what I said is you're stuck because something is unfinished. And I just talked about why expression creates completion. Now there's another thing, another

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barrier that gets in people's way. And I want to talk about this and this is avoiding completion. So I've talked to you about the glory of it and what it does. And we've shared that together. But there are people who avoid it. Every single time I hold the book challenge with at least one and maybe more, I have this conversation. I can't. Oh, I could never tell my story. There's people alive that would get mad at me or.

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Oh, I could never sell my story because I just I don't know and it's the sort of nameless fear and a hundred versions of that. I could never do that because and then the list, but the list is actually really short. I don't know how, which is easily overcomable. uh Nobody'd listen easily, overcomable. I'd offend a bunch of people easily overcomable. Nobody would believe my story.

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Easily overcomable. It's overcomable a word probably not but let's just use it anyway All right. It is something we can get past. There's a deeper reason we avoid Completion like crazy and you want to know what it is? completion requires ownership

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If I end the backpack and the rocks and the stories and the blaming and the shaming of self and all the rest, it means I got to own the fullness of my life like it is, where it is, right here, right now. And that ownership scares the crap out of some people.

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The truth, you're exactly where you need to be right now. You're in perfect shape. Perfect not to be done, but to go forward. So whatever you have or haven't closed or completed, the moment to start is right now. The steps to take are clear. And if you need help knowing that, dreambuildwriteit.com. Because we're not just talking about the mechanics of writing books and creating programs. We're talking about the emotional and spiritual

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processes that create closure and create power for you to share your learnings and joy and glory and opportunity and upliftment to the world. Just so powerful. So completion requires ownership. The next step in that is, well then ownership removes excuses.

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All right, so maybe you've ever sold something, if you've ever sold something and someone comes to you and they're objecting, well, and they have an objection and you overcome that objection. You change the terms. Well, and then there's another one and there's another one and there's another one. And finally, you come to the conclusion that they just don't want to. If you don't want to complete your hero's journey. No amount of preaching or explanation.

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or the easy button will fix it. People sometimes stay married to their excuses. They stay married to their pain because they have allowed the pain to define them. I am the broken person who XYZ. Well, okay, you're free to do that. But imagine the power you could have if you are the fixed person who went through XYZ and has come out the other side, ABC, with story, with power, with love, with help.

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with speaking, with keynotes, with programs, with services. You're one of those people they talk about.

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purpose, prosperity and joy is at the end of that road. Sea of sameness, misery and dying with your music inside is the end of the other road. Why in the world would you do that? I gave a talk, a keynote more than once called Don't Die With Your Music Inside. Like right here sitting right now, you know you have way more you could do with yourself. You know that like breathing. You also have a list of reasons and stories why you're done.

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Not the right time, too many obligations, scared, don't have that, that, that, that. You know that. This is your opportunity to get rid of them all and stand up and be counted. You want to make a difference in the world? Start with your story. The third step of that completion requires ownership. Ownership removes excuses. And then the final truth is completion changes who you must be next. When the excuses are gone,

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We don't have any more excuses. We don't have any reason not to be that upgraded person, not to be the person who came back from the journey. There's no more reasons for that.

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And that unknown might scare the crap out of you, but it's glorious and beautiful and joyful and powerful. And yes, you need help. So did I. So does everybody. Or you can stay stuck. You're free to do that. We've gone over all the reasons that we stay stuck, all the excuses that we use and stories that we tell. The school of transformational authorship exists right now.

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for people who know they're unfinished, not broken, not behind, just incomplete, and they are ready to change that. So right now, as you've heard this, if you feel like you know you have a story, a life is your story. You know that you have something or things you've learned that you could share with others that would dramatically improve the quality, the joy.

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Perhaps the prosperity of their lives. You want to do that and get paid and create joy and purpose. This is your wake up call. We've listed all the reasons we've listed the telltale signs of unfinished business. But if you're incomplete and ready, this is your call to action. This is your time. OK, join me. The School of Transformational Authorship was created for you. The entryway.

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Is this book challenge that is right here right now? It starts February 23rd, which by the time this is out will be right now dream build write it.com dream build write it.com go there. The challenge doesn't cost anything, but you have to attend like it's an hour a day for five days. We'll discover how to find your story. We'll discover how to find the gifts, the truth, the talents, the power.

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that you already have and will help you learn to craft it. In a narrative, whether you use it for book, keynote, workshop, both, all of the above, it'll be the most fun you've ever had, the most joy you've ever created. And I can promise you, if you go all in and do this, it will be a giant leap forward, not just a step on the path for you to create your ultimate life.

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Never hold back and you'll never ask why Open your heart and this time around Right you, right now

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opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenflukegermedia.com. If you want more free tools, go here, yourultimatelife.ca. Subscribe, share.