You Already Paid the Price for Wisdom — Now It’s Time to Cash It In

What would you say if I told you that your story isn't even about you? Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living the dream? It's time for truth. This is the place for tools, power and real talk.So you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. Most people get mixed up when they think about their personal story. Last episode, a few.Well, three or so ago, we talked about the story inside of you that's bursting to be told. Now I'm running the book challenge. Dream it, build it, write it. Right here.And if you have a desire to serve and a desire to make money and meaning, wealth, impact and meaning, think of Wim. And I'm not talking about Wim Hof, the breathing guy who's incredible and I love his stuff. Wealth, impact and money. What does that take?Well, you can go learn. You can go become a rocket scientist or an engineer or a programmer or a gamer or a YouTube influencer. Those are all ways to create some money.I'm not sure if it creates meaning. Meaning comes from doing something that you personally feel like makes a difference, is meaningful in the world.The best way I know, very, very best to create wealth, real wealth, where you have what you need and more impact, where you change people's lives for the better. And meaning for your own life is using your story. But it's not about you. And that's what I said to start with.Meaning most often comes when you or I, we feel like we're doing something that matters, right? Like we're not just doing things to have experiences for our own life.Although there's nothing wrong with having experiences and having a bucket list or any of that, but every person that I talk to, that exception, and I don't know if it's just a circle that I travel in, but every person wants to do something that matters, wants to leave a positive mark in the world, to carve a real meaning out. And that's natural because we are built both physically and spiritually to love and serve each other. You know that, you feel it.You've connected with that truth in your own heart. So what do I mean when I say, well, it's not about you, it's about. Instead of thinking it as. Thinking of it as about you. The news, whoops.The news is really. It's about who you can serve. Who can you help with your story.Now, a funny thing happens when I interview people on this show or LA talk radio, or in the book, the book challenge and again, I encourage you to go here, dreambuild. Write it dot com. If you have a desire to serve, to create wealth, impact and meaning, sign up.It's free, but it'll be the best thing you ever did so far this year. And I realize it's only February, but hey, it'll still be the best thing, maybe for the whole year. Here's the thing.Often I hear when I talk to people this saying, yeah, I had this hardship happened, this health challenge or this financial setback or whatever, and I had to figure it out mostly by myself. Or they'll say, well, you know, I had this particular challenge.I was just talking to somebody the other day and they lost a significant amount of money in a scam, an investment scam that seemed legit. And there's plenty of those, right? Lost substantial money and they were willing to tell me how much and it was a lot.Lost substantial money in an investment scam and they're busy rebuilding and mostly same thing. Well, I have to do most of it myself.I didn't have a lot of help, although they did acknowledge that they had someone to turn to to get some guidance and a potential employment opportunity to get started again. Often, whether you have no help at all or you have some help or you have a lot of help, it's still a process to overcome the challenge.Now, let's say you have a health challenge. Because of social media, we see a lot of those shared online.I have a number of dear friends gone through cancer, fatal diagnosis, you know, absolutely refused to agree with that or live into that and created healing. And now it's been two or three years that they've been completely healed. What a blessing.I have another dear friend who had just staggering challenges brought on not by illness or cancer, but by abuse at the hands of a spouse. And since then have had some 25 operations to fix things, including an amputation, a part of an arm and so forth.Those kinds of things, health challenges, they happen often they're associated with financial challenges. Well, I spend all my money on medical bills.I was talking to somebody else the other day that said their father in his end of life care, you know, cost millions of dollars and spent a good bit of the family, accumulated money and left, left, you know, left very little over. So guess what? There's a present challenge, present struggle. So health, betrayal, bad luck, you know, active nature, earthquake, fire.I've got friends and maybe you do too. Lost everything in the fires that were in California now a year ago, and I was.Various accusations and Articles about money that got sidetracked or misplaced or misrepresented or whatever. Not worrying about any of that, it's too bad. But the point is it creates an opportunity and a challenge for each of the people involved.So whether it's health or wealth or you know, personal illness or mental illness or betrayal or just struggle of any kind, each of those things gives us two choices. It's either a monster problem or a monster opportunity.And here's the determiner about how powerful your life story can be in terms of creating wealth, income and meaning. If I have or you either one of us have something happen to us, this isn't going to be news.You know this intrinsically, but I'm going to say it again anyway. If I let that destroy me and turn me into a bitter, vitriolic person, then it has ruined me, at least for now.And other than serving as a bad example or someone who is destroyed by circumstance, it doesn't do much. I'm.I'm reminded of the song Whiskey Lullaby which I love the song and I love the artists Brad Paisley and the duet by Brad Paisley and Alison Kraus Gorgeous story is about someone who is destroyed by an infidelity of a spouse or a future spouse girlfriend and never got over it. And so in the never getting over drank themselves essentially to death. And then the partner who had been unfaithful also drank herself to death.What a sad story. You know, break your heart country music the Dog Ate My Donut song. And the song is beautiful and it makes you weep and it tears your heart out.But that's an example of where a. A real legitimate horrible challenge ruins someone.The things where we are valuable, you and me, are most valuable is where we have those struggles, whatever they are. Health, wealth, betrayal, money, natural disaster. And. And we don't let them destroy us. Instead of letting them destroy us, we make other choices.We choose to say, you know what? I'm not gonna. And even if we do, to start with, I'm no longer going to be a victim of this awful thing.I'm no longer going to give this person who abused me rent free space in my head. I'm no longer going to allow the leftover scars that I really have, leftover scars that I really have be the main determiner of my life.You know, often when we have a traumatic event, we live looking over our shoulder, either emotionally or physically because we're afraid something's going to happen again. But here's the good news. There's ways past that. There's help. There's treatment, there's possibilities, there's healing modalities.And I'm not here to talk about that other than to encourage you. If you have skeletons or ghosts in your bones, skeletons in the closet, fix it. Take the action that you need. Get the help you need.Get a shrink, get a doctor, get a coach, both, all of and make the conscious choices to get over them. Because all that happens when you or I allow that stuff to keep us locked up is we become permanent victims to whatever had happened.Whether it was an act of nature or an act of someone else or one of our own acts that had turned out badly. No matter what it is, if we stay a permanent victim, then we've used up our days, weeks, months, years, our life eventually bitter to the end.Now, you've all seen movies, read books where someone's chasing someone with raging single minded fury because they're going to get revenge. And then eventually they do.And then when they've caught, captured, turned them in, arrested, or even killed the person that inflicted the damage, say, I thought I'd feel better and I don't. It's the wrong answer. It's the wrong medicine for the malady. It's the wrong, you know, that doesn't fix it. Revenge is not healing ever.Instead, if you or I do the work or take the action, get the help, the treatment, the coaching or whatever it is to overcome it, then something different happens. Okay? We become different people.Now that becoming from bitter, angry, hurt, fearful to powerful owner, owning our own lives, discarding the hooks and claws that that old stuff had in me, that that action from moving from one place to another is power. And it bequeaths on you limitless power. And by limitless power, I want you to hear the ability to create wealth, impact and meaning.Wealth, impact and meaning comes or the power to create them comes from you or me overcoming the things, the things that happen in our lives, it's the most powerful place to get them. Now you or I, we can go to school.You go to school and become a lawyer or a rocket scientist or whatever and you can make contributions to the world that way.And when you look at the three things, wealth, impact and meaning, none of those approaches has the same power or reach that your personal developmental story has. If you think about it, you know that's true.We see every day, every week, every month, every year, the stories of wealthy, successful people in sports, in movies, in books, in music, in politics. And they are miserable. They're full of hate and vitriol. And some, you know, do violent things, kill themselves and others.So they certainly don't have wealth, impact and meaning. Their life has lost all meaning. Maybe they have wealth and the impact, you know, is questionable.So if your soul is driven by wealth, impact and meaning, and I include wealth, not because it's number one for me, impact is meaning my connection to God. And, you know, number four or five is wealth. And you know why? It's not because I need to live in ease. I'm 70.I've lived all my life and had plenty of all the time. Yeah. I've had times where I struggled and I wasn't sure and was budgeting and worrying about money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.But very few in the western, you know, us, Canada, that kind of place are really struggling for that. And there are those and we should and can do what we can to help them.But I'm talking to you as a person who has that yearning to serve wealth in pact. Sorry, wealth, impact and meaning. And you can. I like that order just because it's W, I M wim.And if you put the other one first, impact, meaning and then wealth, it. It's hard to pronounce, but that's the real order. So here's the thing. Your story is not about you feeling better. It is not. Okay.This bad thing happened to me. Bad them, poor me. And now look at me, I'm cool. I overcame that. It's not very interesting unless you take that transformation and use it to serve.Here's what I mean. I can't tell you when I went to rehab for my own drug problems many years ago.I cannot tell you the number of people who were in the rehab business, counselors and helpers and people that established rehab centers and all that, who were ex addicts of one kind or another. Drugs, sex, money, whatever. You know why? Because the very things that we overcome, they become our field of massive expertise. They become the cool.They become the thing that we do better than anyone else in the world. And sometimes people squawk when I say that you are better than anyone in the world at something. And the reason is because you're unique. Your. Your.Your development, your past experiences, the kind of challenges you had, the way you overcame them, what you have chosen to become during that process and what you've chosen to do with that path of growth, that path is completely unique. Own that, for crying out loud, don't squander it. That newness, that uniqueness is your power.It is your most powerful tool to make a difference in the world. And I know, you know, that I talk to people all the time who say, I don't matter. I don't have anything. You know, my life isn't that big.It's just not true.You're unique, and you have more power than anyone else in the world at a certain thing, if you're willing to take the time to figure out what that is and then turn it into wealth, impact, and meaning. So let's talk about this. This truth. Not just about you being better.It's about someone else who can hear your story, not having to suffer and struggle as long as you did or I did.You know, right now, if you knew that you could help someone in a similar situation or many someones in a similar situation overcome that quickly, get past it, get over it, and return to happiness, productivity, and joy. You do it in a heartbeat. You do it in a heartbeat. And I know that because of how I feel.But I also know it because I ask that question a lot when I interview people. I ask them all the time, why, you. You overcame this. You. You managed. You did it. You got past this unspeakable tragedy.Like, what made you go back and build the bridge for somebody else? What makes you care now that that's your passion? And every single time, it's, well, I feel like I want to give back. I'm grateful. I want to help.I want to this, that, and the other, and we do. And your yearning to do that is sacred, it is right, and it is good, and it is the reason you.The reason you yearn, that is to create wealth, impact, and meaning. We want to be of service. And, you know when I'm saying that, you're like, yeah, yeah, of course you do. So how do we do that?We, like I said, we get this wrong because we think the story's about me, and we make a hero out of ourselves sometimes. And that isn't the drill.You know, there's plenty of social media where people are bragging or even lying or exaggerating or renting a car for a day or house, trying to prove that they're somebody. It's not hollow. It's hollow for them. It doesn't really impress anybody anymore. It used to, because now everybody knows it's just rented and fake.Not always. 95% of the time.And it's done to make the person doing it feel good or to try to convince you or me that we ought to pay them for something that they actually did, don't know how to do anyway. What nonsense. So here's the thing. Some people think about telling their story like it's a memoir or like it's a brag piece. Look what I did. Yay.It's none of those things. Those kind of. If we do it that, that way, it's just noise. If you tell your story, or I do, for validation, it's just noise.Do that in your counselor's office or with your coach. If you want to create wealth, impact and meaning for your life, then tell it with the passion to serve.Tell it to demonstrate what it looks like now, to see you as someone with fierce life ownership who's taken control of their life and has now turned around and said, let me help as many people as I can, shortcut the process that I stumbled through with a little help, with no help, with a lot of help, whatever it was. And your unique experience and voice matters more than you can possibly know.I can't tell you the number of people that I have been personally and deeply affected by, by seeing their story, their path, their process, and then finding gold nuggets all over the place that have rescued and helped me. You can be that no matter what the challenge is. It might be something like, how do I build a business?How do I. I've got friend, I've got another friend who was a felon. Guess what? Hard to get a job, hard to get trusted.So option was to go build a business, chose not to give up, chose not to let those things destroy him. Has built a very successful multimillion dollar business that isn't an outlier. Or if it is, it's only because we don't put in the effort.Now I live in that wealth, impact and meaning. Wealth, impact and meaning. That's the reason I'm doing this podcast. It's the reason I do my LA talk radio show. It's the reason I write books.I was working on a another book this morning called the Sovereign Architect and that'll be out in three or four months. And it's the backbone of the university, okay? The ultimate life university. You're going to see a lot about that.This thing here, dream build, write it. That is the initiation into the first school, the school of transformational authorship and creation.It's one thing to write a book or tell your story in a book and create products. It's another to let it do its most powerful work. And you know how that is.First of all, the creating of a book or telling your story in that form transforms you. I can promise you, right here, right now, if you come Let me help you do this.It will completely transform your heart, your soul, how much you love yourself, the ability you have to speak, to present, to create, impact, and get paid. I promise, promise, promise, promise. And the reason is because it's done it for me. But I've done it over and over again with people.And I've got a formula, I've got a process that will help you do that. And this isn't even only about that. It's about. It'll give you meaning, that you're searching for real, deep, lasting meaning.The next thing I said, story told for validation is noise. And a story told in service is power. When you share a story with look at me, that's boring and stupid.When you share a story with let me see how we can help you. That's service. That's power. It also is how you can get paid. So there's another thing I want you to think about, and you may disagree with that.Yes, but I don't care. When I interview people about their stories and I ask them and they say, you know, I just have to give back. I think it's a responsibility.I think one of the biggest, most sacred responsibilities we have as children of the divine is to grow up physically, spiritually, emotionally, and to help other people.So sharing the story of how you did that, how you went from places of struggle to places of victory, is a responsibility that we have to build the bridges and smooth the roads for those coming behind us. Right now, nobody's going to make you there aren't story police.But if truly, if you want wealth, impact and meaning, that's the best and fastest way to do it. You will serve the most people, you'll make the most money, and you'll have the most fun. So you have already paid the price for the wisdom you carry.You know that, right? You.You've paid that price in blood, in money, in personal investment, in learning, in wisdom, in development of skills, patience, capability, like you paid that price. You can save someone else some of that tuition by sharing what you have now. You might say, well, I don't want to. I need you to suffer like I did.There's plenty of suffering to go around.And you know, right now, the yearning in your heart is to share what you know and lower the suffering, the pain, the misery, the violence, the hatred, the anger in the world. And we have the tool to do that, withholding our insight, what you've learned, that has real consequences in the world for others.So I know when I say to you that you and I share something.We share the desire to lower human suffering, to alleviate anger, frustration, hate, bitterness, revenge, to foster love, forgiveness, compassion, tolerance. The best way to do that is to share your own story.Often what people do is they'll preach, well, you should do this and you should do that without having walked that road that isn't that there's anything wrong with the principles that anyone might teach, but they don't carry power. When you tell me your story with the real details and blood on the floor, that has power, that moves me and others that you share it with.So the truth is the reason this is so important. We can talk about something all day when it's something we have lived. And it is truth that carries real transformation power.Now, there's another thing about this that's about why people don't share their stories. Are afraid. I used to be afraid people would think badly of me. Now I just don't care. Maybe they still do.The circumstances haven't changed, you know, depression, drugs, addiction, failures, failed relationships. The list is long, long, long. And I've done whole episodes about different aspects of those and the cost to myself and to others.And that used to scare the daylights out of me. Everybody's going to hate my guts. Nobody's gonna. Whatever. And I had the story about that. I've learned that that's true. They are going to.There are going to be haters and people that do that and think whatever the hell they think. So what, your choice and mine is to allow that fear to. To shut your mouth, to turn down your light, to put out your candle, or to say, screw them.I'm doing it anyway.I'm going to share everything I know from my own life journey with the benefit of service, with the benefit of love, with the benefit of creating impact, meaning, and. Yes.Well, now there's things we have to learn if you're going to share it on a large scale, if you're going to do a podcast, you're going to speak, you're going to create products and services. You're going to have a job in a company that is this.I know somebody right now that just got a job in a company training people about how to leadership, how to do leadership. I got another guy that I love who wrote a book on leadership.He's a CEO right now, but his approach is leadership with love to bring that squishy stuff into the workplace. And already in doing it, he's had dramatic success with the company he leads. So all that stuff is not weird anymore. It is not out of place.It is required, it is non negotiable. So your story matters today more than ever.I just interviewed a few months ago the guy in Australia who's responsible for the bill that just passed in the Australian legislature limiting social media access to kids under 16. I just heard yesterday on the news that there's a bill co sponsored by both parties in the US to limit social media access under 13.And I think it ought to be 16 like Australia, but whatever. So those, those stories, and it came from a story, it came from a story about his daughter.So all of those real life things, that's where the power comes from. That's where the power comes from. And so when you, when I say your story is not about you, it isn't.It's about what you can do in the world, how you can add good to the world.And when you do that, you're going to get paid, you're going to get influence, you're going to be asked to speak, you're going to be asked to lead seminars and groups, your opinion's going to be asked, you're going to.People are going to want to read your books and understand how you learned that and what moves you to create the fabulous stuff that you own, you know, and you have. So I want to talk about a couple of subtleties about telling stories, sharing your life journey essentially powerfully.And these are some of the things we teach in Dream it, Build it, write it. So yeah, I've invited you twice, here's a third time. Dream, build, build, write it dot com, go there. Let me teach you.I've written 23 books and helped many other people write theirs, founded on their own transformation, their own story of becoming. That's the way I like to phrase it. Because that story of becoming is the hills, the valleys, the setbacks, the victories.And it is the light, the guide, the gospel, the truth, the encouragement for somebody somewhere on that journey. And you have it and you know it. So let's talk about a real nuance here that's really important to understand powerful storytelling and that is this.When you present, whether you're speaking or writing or doing a workshop or whatever, purely for service, fear dissolves. You can't be truly in love and service and have fear at the same time.So the idea that fear keeps us from being public or being seen or a worry about what, what people think of us, that's true. And the antidote is to get purely into thinking of the value and service that you can provide.The next thing is that the service aspect also dissolves our self consciousness. People have said that, you know, public speaking for some is the worst fear. And that is we're afraid of what people are going to think.Same thing, fear. Service dissolves that fear.Also, if every time you talk to somebody, the only thing you're thinking about is, I've got a gift for you, it's worth a billion dollars. How can I give this to you? You're not self conscious anymore at all.When you shift in your mind to worrying about yourself, to wondering how you truly can help them and you know, based on your experience, you have the gold, the water for the starving or famished person in the desert. Your confidence just comes because you know what you have. Now I want to talk about another detail that's powerful about this.And that's the difference between expression and transmission. I have a vocal coach that I've worked with in terms of my own singing for a long time.And he said something to me that, about that I've heard or he said it to me and taught as a, as a coaching thing. And here's what he said. He said people write songs and sing them.And because of a certain experience, lots of pop songs today are written about people's own experiences, especially love songs, heartache songs, breakup songs, sad songs, whatever. And here's what he said.He said they write them and sing them from that particular place and then they spend the rest of their lives singing about that instead of from that place. And so it loses that power. Well, that's the difference between expression and transmission. Expression is just me or you telling somebody something.Transmission is sharing the vulnerable truth about the words.So if you have a person in your life who is ill or who died, someone close to you, and you talk about that and you say it was sad and it was really hard, you're talking about it, you're expressing the truth of a situation.If you share the meaning that person had and you participate emotionally in the impacts, maybe causes you to get emotional, causes your voice to change, your body changes, energy changes, that is transmitting a feeling that is a completely different thing.And if you learn, if you choose to learn how to transmit your truth, not just talk about it, your book that you write in, Dream Build, Write it will be insanely powerful. You'll sell it all over the place. But more importantly, people will want more of you.And so products and services that you create, if you create them, will, will be irresistible because they carry that energy of lived truth. Okay, so that transmission is just saying what you feel and transmitting is offering the truth of what you learned. And that often comes with emotion.And more than anything, because it's deeply true, truth carries power. You've been in the presence of someone that there's just so much obvious truth that it lights the walls on fire.Well, that's you if you want to be that. If you want to create wealth, impact and meaning, you own a gold mine right now. Sitting on it, walking around in it, your life.Is that the question that you and I need to answer is, are we willing to share it, transmit it, and cut somebody's learning curve or suffering curve and help them get the most out of life by what we've learned? That's a responsibility that we all have, right? So here's the invitation I have for you. I have three invitations.The most important one is your story. Dream build, write it dot com, go there and sign up for the challenge. Let me help you find that gold mine and express it in the world.The second one is if you're already using powerfully and deeply the story of your own becoming and you have a passion and you can articulate it. I'd love to talk with you because I love interviewing people like that on my show here. So I'd love to feature you and help spread your message.In that case, Kellenfluker media.com there's a contact form. The third invitation is if you know someone who has a powerful story. Put me in touch. Put me in touch. I love it.You know, I regularly get emails from people. Sometimes people I know, sometimes people I don't, that say, I know a great guest for your show and they tell me a little bit about the story.And it is rare, if ever, that it isn't absolutely a match. Let's talk and see if we can do this. So I want you to think about something. Who would be helped?Who would be blessed right this minute, who would be blessed right now if you chose to share your developmental journey, the story of your becoming, the truths and power that have accumulated in your life, the love and patience and yearning to serve that you have, if you shared that publicly, powerfully, intentionally, and in an organized way.See, the only difference between people that just talk about their lives and someone that creates a business, wealth, impact and meaning is getting organized and doing it in a way that is available to people. Guess what? Let's help you write that book, create a program, create a workshop, create a keynote, all of the above that lets you share that.That's exactly what I'm doing. The Ultimate Life University Ultimate Life University is that there's going to be four schools. They're coming.The first one is the School of Transformational Authorship. And that's not just a fancy name for writing a book. It's focused about how that process will transform you into a powerhouse.Powerhouse and transform every person that touches your story, your book, your product or service, and how you can add good to the world. So that school is first.The second school that's going to be much later in the year, probably may not much later, but two or three months later, is the School of Transformational Coaching. Because one thing I know for sure, the coaching industry is changing. That's why I wrote Coaching in the Rise of AI Coaching.Most coaches that are in business today will be out of business by Christmas. AI will replace them unless they're fundamental changes in how they approach that sacred work of helping. And that's what we talk about there.And that's what the School of Transformational Coaching will be about. I love you. I'm grateful for you being here on the show. Share the episode if it moved you. Get a hold of me.Put a leave a comment that helps with rankings and all the rest of it. Do that. If I can serve you in any way. Get a hold of me. And above all, dream build. Write it dot com. Love to see you there. Can't wait.See you next time.And I want to remind you most of all that learning and being willing to be vulnerable and share your story to serve others is the best way I know to get on the road to living your ultimate life. Never hold back and you'll never ask why. Open your heart right right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenfluker media.com if you want more free tools, go here. Your Ultimate Life ca subscribe Share.