Who the Hell Are You? Unpacking Your True Identity & Unlocking Your Purpose

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Hey there.

Welcome to your ultimate life.

Your ultimate life.

I've got this funny picture in the background.

I hope you're watching it.

It's kind of done in black and white pencil drawing.

And, you know, it looks a little weird, but I want you to think about that because today's episode is titled, like, who the hell are you?

Who the hell are you?

You know, we live in a world and time where external forces are doing their very best to define you, to describe you, to pigeonhole you, to.

To put you in a box.

You know, the term in the US at least, of identity politics, meaning that anyone that has a certain characteristic, black, white, gay, straight man, woman, they believe a set of things, right?

And that, that way you're defined by some piece of your identity.

Okay, you're six feet tall, therefore you must this.

Ooh, you're only five feet tall, therefore you must that.

Or, you know, you're a woman and you want to have kids or you don't want to have kids or whatever it is.

Those sort of monolithic blocks are used in many ways to define not only your identity, but to describe what you think, what you feel, what you buy, what you want in marketing and everything else.

Well, so here's my question for you because we're in pursuit of that ultimate life.

We're in pursuit, me and you.

We want to get purpose.

We want to live every day with a purpose of life.

We want to live in prosperity, which means not only do we have the cash we need to have a good living and to enjoy life, but also to do the things that are in our hearts.

To serve, to lift, to bless, to quote, help people.

That phrase right there, I want to help people.

I hear that.

I can't even count the number of times, an infinite number of times.

This last weekend before I'm recording this, I was in New Orleans speaking at an event, right?

And the organizer of the event was talking to everyone during, you know, it was a two day event.

And he was saying, you know, I know all of you, and he was speaking to all of us, have a good heart.

And you want to help people.

You want to make a difference in the world.

And you know what?

He's right.

Everybody does.

And you know what?

Also, most people don't do it, or if they Do.

It's a very tiny impact, a very small number of people, people maybe they directly associate with you directly associate with, and then maybe only a lukewarm impact.

Well, you're free to do that, but I suspect the yearning of your heart is to make a massive impact.

I suspect what you really want is to make a real difference.

And, you know, when you were born, you didn't have that yearning.

The set of experiences that have happened to us, what we've learned, what we've succeeded at, what we failed at, the times we've been hurt or blessed or abused or betrayed or elevated or honored, all those things have taught us something.

And we have allowed them to come into our consciousness, however we've allowed it.

But that collection of events and stories creates almost universally a desire to serve.

So you and I were built to do that.

Our physical bodies, you know, pour out oxytocin and other cool stuff when we're in love, relationships of love and service and helping.

And so it's natural that you say, oh, I want to help people.

Of course you do, but how are you going to do that?

How are you going to do that?

One way is to, you know, walk around like this dude behind me in a sort of haze and daze, and you see the light there in the distance and it's like, ooh, I wish I could have that light and I wish I could be part of that.

But, you know, circumstances won't let me.

And I got this to do and I'm behind and I can't for this, that and the other reason.

And then we allow that story, we allow that story to be the truth of our lives.

So the podcast, your ultimate life was founded on simply the idea that you, right here, right now, you, each one of you, have the ability to bless the world.

You have the ability to live in a purpose driven by a purpose that you choose.

Now, very likely that purpose that you choose, that you feel called to, will come from your experiences.

I've told this story before, but I have a client who's a middle aged woman, late 40s, early 50s, and she decided to go to law school and become an attorney.

And the area of law that she decided to practice was family law.

And the specialty was defending the rights of men in family matters.

Because guess what?

One of her experiences was to see how the system had treated her son.

She objected to that, you know, mightily, and said, I'm going to do something about it.

So now she serves as an attorney in that field with that specialty, driven by her experience.

I Have another client who's a friend, also a cancer survivor, many times.

And you know what his goal is?

To provide support, service, hope and love to those going through cancer or supporting those going through cancer.

He's amazing at it.

He's amazing at it.

He raised half a billion dollars for one, one or the other cancer organization because of his own commitment.

So you listening right now?

You have a yearning.

Maybe you've kicked it to the curb, maybe you have pushed it aside, but you have it.

I know you do.

I can see it every time I talk to you, each of you.

And by the way, this is your first invitation.

I'm inviting you to reach out and connect with me.

I'm inviting you to follow me on X, on Facebook, on YouTube.

Ultimate Life Formula.

And this is not about collecting followers.

This is about being in a place where you are regularly acknowledged and loved for the great person that you are.

You're a divine being.

Maybe you know that and maybe you know it sort of vaguely in, in the background.

What if you brought it to the fore and you conducted every word, every thought, every relationship, every business deal, Knowing and remembering that you're a divine being with a calling, a mission, divine gifts, talents and capability.

On top of that, you've learned a bunch of skills here.

Maybe you've learned how to draw.

Maybe you've learned how to be an architect or an engineer.

Maybe you're an accountant, maybe you're a musician.

Whatever you've learned to do, you can add it to the gifts you have and find and own that purpose that you feel.

That's the path to creating your ultimate life.

A life of purpose.

Purpose is something you choose.

Some people say to me, well, my purpose found me.

No it didn't.

Something happened in your life and an awareness was brought to you.

I could do that.

But you ultimately choose to do it or not do it.

And then after you choose, you choose how well to do it, how much to do it, how hard to lean into it.

I have another friend who is a teacher for many years and her focus is on changing the way the emotional context of how we teach in young children in elementary school.

She has developed a system and battle tested it that changes the mindset and framework and it's not hard to do, it's just something that isn't being done and it works and it's good.

So she's on a mission to get that in the minds of teachers, of young children so they can have success in the classroom.

The kids will be more well behaved, they'll participate Better in a bunch of good stuff that she has all kinds of documentation.

But guess where that came from, from her experience.

So I'm asking you right now to think about your experience, your life experience with money, with relationships, with your parents, with your spouse, with your kids, with business, with making cash, with creating relationships, with love.

Think about those relationships you have with those facets of life.

Are they good, are they healthy, are they powerful?

Or are there things where it's, oh, boy, that was tough.

I hear one of the things I hear so often now, my world, I deal with a lot of people who have the very urge that I have and they're drawn to me because I talk about this.

And that's probably why you're still listening to this, because you feel that.

And they say so often, yeah, but I don't know how to make money.

I don't know how to make money.

I don't know how to get paid for what I love to do.

And you know, what I'm going to tell you in most sincerity is you can get well paid, well paid, six figures high, six figures, seven figures.

You can make a million dollars a year with your story.

If you want to do the work required.

Now, that might be writing something, books, it might be writing courses, it might be coaching, it might be speaking.

It might be a combination of those things.

It might be introducing a new way of doing something, like the teacher I talked about.

Any and all of those things are ways that you can do it.

The thing that's stopping you, that's in between you and the million dollars isn't your idea, it isn't your worth.

It is not doing the things required to get there.

The steps to get there are well known.

They're not a mystery.

It's not, oh, I don't know, it's some mystery somewhere.

They're well known.

They've been done thousands and tens of thousands of time times by me and many like me, who have simply said my purpose.

And I'm going to tell you mine.

My purpose this year is to reach 300 million people, you included, to help you realize one, you're a divine being.

And, and combining that knowledge with the skills, the experiences you've had in life can give, gives you, excuse me, gives you the opportunity to choose a purpose and then take that purpose, turn it into products and services, monetize and serve your brains out doing something you love and making good cash.

So knowing that is the first piece of what I do, and that's why I'm doing the show.

And that's why I interview you.

The second piece is giving you the tools, the frameworks, the tools, the knowledge, the steps, the how so you can get it done.

Because just simply saying it is like whatever, right?

And the third thing is the kind of examples and encouragement you need.

Because all of us get stuck one, two, five, a thousand times behind our own stories, behind failures that are discouraging.

So it's not just the message, it is also the method, the path, the steps and the motivation and movement.

Yeah, they all start with M.

Isn't that fun?

Message, method, motivation, movement, to get it done.

So that's what I do.

And I'm going to reach 300 million people this year and I'm not going to quit.

I'm going to do whatever I have to to reach it with both that message, the method, meaning the tools and frameworks, and the motivation or the movement required to get it.

Now, you can have that if you want it.

Here is how you get it.

Number one, go to Kellenfluecigermedia.com the URLs on the screen Kellenfluecigermedia dot com There's a list there of books, resources.

There's my social feeds, places that you can get a hold of me so we can talk about those things.

My YouTube channel is full of content about exactly, not just encouraging talks about you can do it rock.

That's true.

But also how the steps, if you go back through these podcast episodes, many of them are about specific action steps, the how to make happen what you want and the encouragement, the examples, encouragement, energy, Sometimes permission people need to be their authentic selves and shine.

That's contained in coaching classes, workshops that I do.

So here's your invitation.

Nothing's going to happen until you reach out and get a hold of me.

Nothing's going to happen.

I'm inviting you to do that.

Send me a message.

An email is meetwithkellen gmail.com meetwithkellenmail.com if you don't want to, that's fine.

But if you want my help, the help of a successful, dedicated, committed person, like, I'm not doing anything else.

The only thing I'm doing is serving you 300 million people this year.

Sometimes I do it by writing books, doing music.

I'm working on some songs in the studio right now and podcasts and videos and everything else, programs and services, coaching only aimed at helping you do the thing you feel called to do.

And it's so much fun, so joyful, so fulfilling.

Right?

So that's your invitation.

Get a hold of me.

Kellenflukermedia.com now, there's another thing I'm going to do right now for a special group of people.

But even if you see this podcast in another year, it's still going to be true, because there will be another one in a month and a half, two months.

I'm going to start a program called Tell youl Story.

Make an Impact.

And another name for it that I use sometimes is dream It, Build It, Write it.

The gist is learning to mine your life and your story for that purpose that we've just been talking about.

Turn it into something.

And exactly how to do that is part of the program.

And I'm specifically aiming at authors, speakers, product creators, those people who want to take that story and do something with it besides talk.

Organized, productized, monetized.

Okay?

And that's this.

Those are the steps.

You got to organize it.

You got to turn it into something that people can see and love and buy, and then, then you monetize it.

And this is all in service of you creating your ultimate life.

So I want you to go to the URL thestoryark.com thestoryark spelled a R C, the story arc.com and even if you don't join the one that's going to start now, there will be another one and another one.

I'm going to do two or three of these a year.

And they're programs that last six months where you do all of that.

Organize your story, write your book, create your product, get it published, get it to number one on Amazon.

All of that's available to you.

So there's a couple places you can go to get started right now, immediately you can just get a hold of me and let's talk and see.

One of the things I love to do is just get to know you so I can see what there is and hear what your yearning is and why you want to do what you want to do.

Figure out where you are and how to get where you want to go.

Today I titled this who the hell are you?

And I said all of this other stuff for a bunch of minutes before we started directly addressing that.

And here's why.

Just a second here.

Here's why.

Because whether or not you or I do what we're talking about here depends on who we are.

If I am the guy or the gal who says, oh, I don't have time, then, then I don't have time.

I've become the person who doesn't have time.

I suspect that that theme is in your life a lot.

Well, I'd love to do this, but I don't have time.

Oh, I'd love to come over, but I don't have time.

I'd love to learn how to do this, but I don't have time.

So that's who you've become.

You've become.

I don't have time.

That's a story.

You have time to do every single thing that's important.

You might get mad at me for saying that, but I don't care.

You do.

And if you'd like to talk, I can show you you have time for every single thing that is really important to you.

Another thing you might be is I'm afraid of being seen.

I'm afraid to write a book or do a program or speak or, you know, be on social or whatever, because people might laugh, I might get rejected and I might get put down and people won't understand me, et cetera, et cetera.

My whole life is full of stuff where people don't understand me and I get belittled and marginalized.

If that's who you are in your heart, then that's who you are in real life.

You are marginalized, you are ignored, you are put down, you are pushed aside.

That may be your absolute reality right now.

And I accept that.

And I love you for even being able to say, damn, that's me right now.

Here's my promise.

You don't have to stay there.

It doesn't matter where you are if you're.

I don't have time if you're.

I'm not good enough if you're.

I've been abused.

I've been pushed aside.

No one's arguing.

Let's say that's exactly true.

The question for me and for you is, do you want to stay there?

And the first decision is to say no.

I'm the person who moves.

I'm the person who thumps the fist and says, I'm done with this nonsense.

Wow, what a cool thing.

You're done with that nonsense now.

You've become the person that I used to be that now I'm a voice now.

I speak my truth now.

I live in service now.

I'm a devotee of personal growth now I'm the person who takes control of my life.

So I could use the same example for many things.

I am that I'm out of shape.

I am that I'm ignored.

I am that I.

I fail at everything that I do.

I am that I don't have any really Gift, skills, or talents.

That may be your truth right now, but it doesn't have to stay that way.

Who you are and hear this is under constant creation.

It is not static.

And that's the beautiful thing.

When we say a leopard can't change its spots, that's, you know, the studies.

The brain rewires itself constantly.

Neuroplasticity is the fancy word, and I'm sure you've heard it a hundred or a thousand times.

What it means is you can rewire the brain.

You can rewire your automatic reactions.

You can rewire away fears and commit, I mean, things that you believe about yourself.

You can re.

What?

Get rid of.

I'm not good enough.

I'm a failure.

That's all wiring.

You weren't born with that thought.

We created that wiring because of experience.

Maybe you had the crap beat out of you as a kid like I did.

Maybe you had other traumatic things.

Maybe you were abused.

Maybe everyone around you always told you money was evil, you can't have any, and only bad people are rich.

You know, there's one of the thousand stories I've heard, and therefore you wired it that way.

Okay, that's okay.

Wherever you are today, that's who you were up till this minute.

The next minute, you can change.

Now, the wiring didn't happen instantly.

Up to now, it happened with repeated examples, repeated in, you know, reinforcement.

You're not good enough.

You'll never amount to anything.

You suck.

You know, some version of that, either from someone's mouth or from circumstances.

So rewiring the brain takes some action.

The good news is, rewiring it takes one tenth as long or less than it did to wire it.

And there's a really simple reason, as we were getting it wired with the repetition of these circumstances, that happened slowly and unconsciously.

When you focus intentionally on creating new experiences, new thought patterns and new wiring, it happens 10 or 20 times faster because we're focused on it and doing it on purpose.

Okay, that's simple.

Any skill you want to learn.

You want to learn how to play tennis, you want to learn how to play the piano, you want to learn how to speak.

Haphazard action doesn't get there, but focused practice does.

I taught piano for 40 years.

I taught jazz improvisation and orchestration and electronic music and all kinds of stuff the people in the class learned directly, proportional to the intensity of their involvement or how well they practiced.

Not a surprise.

So you can rewire anything you want about your brain.

So when I say, who the hell are you?

The question really Is, are you the person who has been defined by circumstances, by other people, by these old beliefs, by these old definitions, by these old experiences, by these expectations that come from the old experience?

So we expect life to be a certain way.

If that's who you are, that's okay.

It just means you're living in what I call a context straitjacket.

You feel constrained by this context, which is that pile of beliefs and definitions and experiences and expectations and perceptions that you and I, we've got.

So the key is to rewire, rewire, rewire, rewire.

And so what you can say right this minute is, you know, I used to be that.

Now I'm the person that's rewiring.

I'm the person that's busy as hell underway rewiring the brain now.

Well, okay, Kellen, I got it.

How do I do that?

Well, let's talk.

Okay.

I've written several books that talk about different aspects of that.

I wrote a book called Forgiveness.

A Journey of Courage to a Place of Freedom and Power.

I wrote it because I needed so much the forgiveness thing.

Forgiving others, forgiving myself, understanding what it is, what it isn't, and how to make it powerful.

I wrote a book called Walking Without Fear because fear dominated my life.

I was terrified of what people thought of failure, of, you know, an endless parade of things that came from my old experiences.

You may have all some or more of that than I did, but it's all changeable.

I don't have any of that anymore.

I have no fear.

I carry.

I am forgiveness.

I have compassion, grace, and patience for everyone, for everything, including myself.

And being that free means I don't carry baggage.

It allows me to be a beacon of light, a vessel of love and a conduit of power.

You may not resonate.

You may think I'm full of crap.

I'm okay with that.

I love you.

There are many who resonate and who hear the call and say, dang, I can do that.

Let me be the first to assure you you can.

So when I say, who the hell are you?

Are you the person defined by these old things?

Are you defined by a situation?

Well, it depends.

No, it doesn't.

It only depends if you let it depend.

Who I am does not depend on anything.

Who I am is what I create.

Now, that's true for you also, but unless you've taken active control of the levers, then it feels like it comes from outside circumstance.

Things that happen or don't happen, what people do or don't say, and all the Rest, the truth is you own the levers.

You may not have been operating them.

So then here's the real question.

Are you self defined?

Have you taken the time and effort to truly define yourself?

To me, that's been one of the most powerful things I've ever done, is to intentionally define myself and not leave it to circumstance or what I think others think or any of that.

So here's I have a large definition statement that's sacred, it's holy.

It's pulled right out of the celestial realm.

It's pulled right out of the center of my heart.

And I don't share all of it almost ever.

But I'm going to share a little piece of you with you right now.

And I also want to recommend to you a book called Living with Purpose and Power.

That's my most recent book, published about eight months a year ago.

And in it I shared 80% of the documents that I have for myself.

I did it not to tell you how to be, but to share with you what I mean, because the book talks about that creation and I use it as an example of what it could look like, only it needs to be yours.

So mine starts this.

I am infinite and eternal.

I am a son of Almighty God.

I am a disciple and friend of Jesus Christ.

I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine to create miracles in the moment.

I am forgiveness with compassion, grace and patience for everyone, for everything, including myself.

I am at cause I create my being and call into existence every part of my experience.

I am my word.

I speak only truth.

I do what I say.

I am who I seem with simplicity, transparency and integrity.

And it goes on from there.

But my use of that is daily, multiple times a day.

Not so I can have something to just recite, but because it literally helps me remember who I have created.

And then from that place, that's when I decide, okay, what does that being do today?

Today it makes a podcast.

Today I'm working on some music.

Today I'm working on a couple videos that have to do with this thestoryark.com which is the invitation I talked about earlier.

It's time to round up your story and make it work for you.

It's time to take all those experiences, especially the hard ones, and put them in your wallet and make them make you money.

And you can do that.

Every bad thing that's ever happened to you, you can turn into cash.

I don't mean by suing somebody, you can turn it into a story of resilience, development, overcoming and power if you want to.

And you know what?

I know you do.

And I know you've been blocked by fear.

And I know you've been, you know, given into the idea that somehow it's hard.

It's not.

It is straightforward and simple.

It takes work.

But then being alive every day takes work.

So why not channel that into purpose, prosperity, and joy?

So we've talked about others creating you.

We've talked about our past experiences creating us.

We've talked about creating ourselves on purpose.

And I've given a little example.

And I'm reminding you again about the book Living with Purpose and Power.

And I'm reminding you about that because I've poured 17 years of work in doing that very thing, learning how to create myself and then doing it powerfully.

I've poured it into that book.

Why?

For you.

I wrote it for you.

I'm doing the things in that book every single day.

I'm loving it.

I live that ultimate life purpose, prosperity and joy.

And I wanted to share it more than anything, because after I got there, it's like, holy cow, this is beautiful.

And it's also possible.

So I want to talk for a minute about why it matters.

It's a lot of work.

I'm not pretending it's simple or it is simple.

I'm not pretending it's easy, but it's worth it.

Why does it matter?

Well, it matters because you.

You feel.

You feel every day fulfilled and joyous.

You feel like you're hitting home runs.

You feel like you're living on the winning side always.

Now, I'm not pretending that tough stuff doesn't happen.

Of course it does.

There are days when things go wrong there, you know, struggles with this.

And we just tried to sell a car, and there was some confusion with the dealership.

And a lot of, you know, struggle, et cetera, et cetera.

And personal things happen.

Illness or frustrations or financial things that are unexpected.

You know, all of that happens to everybody.

But it doesn't affect me anymore at all.

It doesn't bother me one bit.

In fact, I lean in, I grab the problem, and I love it.

And I say, how can I create awesomeness from this garbage?

How can I create magic from this mess?

How can I get a miracle out of this mud?

And I really ask that.

And then I go to work figuring out how.

So the question is, why does it matter?

Well, it matters because it allows you.

And this is really important.

It allows you to be your very best self.

It allows you to create a huge impact, not just on A few around you, but on as many as you want.

Hear that, many as you want.

My goal this year is 300 million.

That's just the number I set.

I'm going to reach 300 million people with this message of possibility, with the method of doing something.

Frameworks and tools and programs that allow you and help you do something with this message.

And then the motivation, the movement, the encouragement to make it over the goal line.

Because it's one thing to hear a cool message and jump up and down and say, ra, and then go home and get overtaken by life.

It's another thing to, you know, buy a tool or a book and say, yeah, I'm going to do that someday.

And the book might tell you, or the program might tell you exactly what to do, but then I don't have time or I don't understand it, or it won't work for me, or I'm different, or whatever we tell ourselves.

And then it doesn't do any good.

And then it becomes shelf help.

Right?

It's on the, on the shelf over there.

And the third thing is what I love about coaching or being an alchemist, you can get this done.

I.

I needed help.

I had to get coaching and all kinds of programs and things to get where I am.

I didn't fall up this mountain, and you won't either.

But I know you can get there.

So it matters because it allows you to be everything you can be.

It allows you to create your full impact in the world.

It allows you to create income like crazy.

And it's not a surprise, people, when I say that, people say, why?

Because when you use everything that you know, everything you have become, everything you have overcome in, in your life, that is the most valuable thing you can offer to the world.

And believe me, it's worth millions.

There are millions of people right this minute, right this minute who would love to hear your story.

Your resilience, your message, your struggles, your choices.

Millions.

And they're waiting for you.

And yeah, everything that I've said or you've said been said by somebody, but it was in a different voice with different examples.

And the fact that we still have this staggering need is evidence that the right voice for them hasn't come along yet.

And you know what?

It's yours.

Your call.

So that's why it matters.

The last thing I want to talk about is what is it worth?

Well, there's two.

Two aspects to that question.

What it's worth is millions of dollars in your pocket.

What it's also worth is Millions of dollars.

If there is such a thing of feeling good, for helping, for serving.

You know, when you and I, we serve somebody, we get rewarded.

We get rewarded in feel goods, in karma, in blessings, in those things that are intangible but glorious that we love.

So it's worth millions of bucks.

If you want those.

You have to do the work and organize it, to market it and sell.

It doesn't just fly in.

And it's also worth millions of tokens of joy.

I don't know what joy tokens are, but you know what I mean.

So that's what it's worth.

As we wind this down today, I want you to just think about something.

You're a divine being.

I said I'm infinite and eternal.

So are you.

I'm a son of Almighty God.

You're a son or daughter of almighty God.

I said I'm a disciple and friend of Jesus Christ.

And maybe you follow Christianity and maybe you don't, but your connection to the divine is your guiding star and the paramount source of your power and your ability to serve because it's founded on love.

Love is the engine that holds everything together.

And you inherently know that because you see how the opposite fear and hate destroys.

Love builds, connects, binds, welds.

And I love you because I know who you are and I know some, at least of the yearnings of your heart.

So again, finally, I invite you to connect.

Please share this show with somebody.

Somebody you know needs this.

Would you please share it with them right now?

While you're thinking about it, a name just popped in your head.

Share it right now.

Please do them a favor.

You help me with my 300 million if you want to be a guest like the ones I had last time.

And next time, if you want to be a guest, if you have a story you'd like me to help you share, talk to me.

Let's do that.

Let's make that happen for you.

Because you matter and you matter now no matter what else.

I want you to leave knowing you can create anything you want.

And certainly you have the ability, starting today, to live your ultimate life.

Never hold back and you'll never ask why.

Open your heart.

And this time around, right here, right now, your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

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