Episodes

In this episode, we talk about the normal tendency and habits we all have to be inconsistent. We can intend and even commit to do something and then falter in the process. In forgiveness, that is when we try to let something go, either against ourselves or another, and then something happens. A new offense, a new reminder, some other form of trigger. We are again engulfed in anger toward the offender or fear of being hurt again. We might experience a new round of self-loathing because someone r...

In this episode, we talk about the other side of guilt. That is resentment, anger, rage, and revenge. If you have been harmed, then there is often a desire to have the person who hurt you experience suffering to pay for what they did. If it is not a person, we blame God, the government of the universe. Holding onto those grudges is like drinking poison and thinking the other person will die. They don’t. Laws work as they do, and God will balance the scales in His own time and manner. As we hold...

In this episode, we talk about a common feeling that often crushes our hearts and impedes our forgiveness of ourselves. When we do things that hurt others we feel bad. If we don’t at that time, later maturity and insight teach us responsibility and consequences. We feel guilty. We wish we made other choices. First of all, guilt is a warning. Something is not right. Like pain in our bodies, guilt tells us to stop. That uneasy feeling can keep us safe. Guilt can motivate us to change. When we wan...

In this episode, we talk about glasses. There is a saying that we don’t see the world the way it is, we see it the way we are. That is often recited as an indictment. It is not. It is a simple statement of fact. We have a set of beliefs that come from our experiences. They form the lenses through which we see life. The first big breakthrough is understanding that there are other legitimate and valuable points of view. That is a fundamental omission from most teaching systems. I did not understa...

In this episode, we talk about the obvious. Forgiveness is not an event. It starts with a Liberation Event that gives you a glimpse of what is possible and a determination to get it done. Then comes the real work. Often, perhaps every day there will be reminders of past events and their lingering effects. When that happens, you must have tools that you immediately deploy so you don’t fall into a hole. Then you must also have a process for self-forgiveness on the way. No matter who you are, ther...

In this episode, we come face to face with the difficulty of this task. It is not trivial and can seem completely overwhelming at times. The pain was real, the wound was deep, and the effects may last a lifetime. That is not in dispute. The question is “Are you willing to let that go so you can truly grow?” My experience is that the only place you can really get the power you need is from the divine. Creating and deepening a relationship with God was the only place I ever found the wisdom, the ...

In this episode, we come face to face with the reality of the choices this process involves. You can’t forgive and cling to the old feelings. If you were the perpetrator of the painful things, you can pretend to forgive and still harbor deep resentment towards yourself. The deeper you hide it, the worse the decay. Realize that letting go of the anger, fear, or self-loathing is not a repudiation of what happened. Instead, it is a choice to end the power it has over you. If someone hurts you and ...

In this episode, we start on the real work. It is often tempting to dance around the edges of forgiveness. WE might dabble with the idea but resent the depth of the changes. If you are angry at someone else, it is easy to default to blaming the “other” for the problem in the first place. Yes, they did something. Your choice to forgive is not related to that. You can forgive if you never hear a single word from “them,” or they never change. Knowing this can really be a blessing. This process is ...

In this episode, we talk about things that can get you started. I called them Liberations events. They almost never come on their own. If they do, it is usually in the form of a Divine Invitation. Something happens, maybe small and growing or perhaps big and sudden. You know you must change. In order for them to be effective, you must be open. At least, you must want things to be different. The relationship strain, the avoidance, the nasty looks, and notes. You can find them in books, videos, a...

In this episode, we talk about the first step in the process of forgiveness. Until you embark on t his wonderful journey, it is only an idea. It can be full of misunderstanding and resentment when you contemplate letting someone “off the hook” for something. It is nothing at all like that. We live inside of our context straight-jacket until we don’t. Our Beliefs, Definitions, Experiences, Expectations, and Perceptions (BDEEP) limit our potential until we release them. There is always more than ...

In this episode, we talk about reasons to forgive. No one can make you forgive anyone. This is a sacred choice and sacred responsibility. There are three big reasons it is powerful and beautiful. First, it is liberating. When you forgive, you are free from the anger you hold towards others or yourself. Second, it creates growth. There are vistas you cannot imagine until you embrace forgiveness. You can hear about the possibilities like someone describing a beautiful scene of a stunning mountain...

In this episode, we talk about what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. I give a description that will work for our purposes. Forgiveness is not absolution. It is not acting like something didn’t happen. Forgiveness is not putting yourself in harm's way. It is not sweeping things under the rug. It is not ignorance. Forgiveness is allowing reality to be what it is. Whatever has happened to you or whatever you have done cannot be changed. Where do you go from here? Forgiveness is letting the energy...

In this episode, we talk about the other side of the coin. Besides receiving hurt as we grow up, we inflict it also. We are unkind, we get angry, we say and do things that hurt others. Sometimes we hurt others because we have been hurt. The saying “hurt people hurt people,” is true and shows the connection. Sometimes we hurt others by accident. Often we justify actions that hurt others because we want something or because we pretend it is OK. We lie, we cheat, we steal we are unfaithful, we bre...

In this episode, we begin an 18-part series on the critical topic of forgiveness. Next to the word love, forgiveness is the most powerful word in the universe. We often misunderstand this word and confuse it with absolution or forgetting something or pretending something bad did not happen. It is none of that. From our earliest minutes we collect injury, we inflict injury. Often accidentally and sometimes on purpose. These injuries accumulate and become hard to deal with. Likes rocks in a backp...

In this episode, Kellan starts this series on forgiveness. So, the first question is who hurt you? It doesn't have to be physical, although Kellan suffered physical abuse as a child. But, Kellan begins with talking about all of the invisible rocks that we carry around and how forgiveness figures into this. From the first time we fall off the bed as an infant to falling when we learn to walk to scolding, slaps, and spankings we get for misbehavior, we experience pain and injury. Whether well-inte...

In this episode, we explore a similar and related idea. Love is an intentional choice to use your spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental resources to lift and bless someone in their highest and best interest. Sometimes we can’t know for sure what that might be, but it is always clear how to serve if we want to. When you engage in service, what do you do? What actions do you take to intentionally serve those around you? When you do that, how do you feel? Your business can be the highest and ...

n this episode, we follow up on the vocal reiki episode by exploring the sound of love. Whether it is the musical intonation of someone’s name or any other way, what is the sound of love? You have the greatest ability to create love by discovering and using y our unique voice. What does that mean? It means that we each have a unique way of expressing our contribution to the world. Have you discovered your unique voice? What is it? Are you aware of your power and do you choose to use it to love ...

In this episode, we meet an amazing woman who practices vocal reiki. Reiki is an energetic practice to use our natural field to heal the body. Energetic healers are as old as medicine and are viewed positively and negatively by traditional medicine. We all know that our name is the most pleasing sound we know. Sara intones a persona name musically. I experienced her singing my name and it was a wonderful experience. The key here is that there is no end to the ways in which we can love and serve...

In this episode, we talk about our fears around authenticity. It is one thing to encourage people to lean into their divine gifts and be true to their nature. It is quite another to deal with the fear of judgment and rejection that can prevent us from doing just that. So how do we overcome those fears? You have a unique and powerful story. The uniqueness of your experience is never in question. The power can only be created by your willingness to share what you know and feel. What would you do ...

In this episode, we talk about the choices we have regarding authenticity. A favorite phrase I use with clients who are worried about what others think is “It’s OK to be weird.” We are often infected with a debilitating fungus. The WITOT Fungus. That stands for “What I Think Others Think.” Sound Familiar? First of all, we need to be at peace with who we are. You are a divine creation with gifts and talents. Too often we are socialized into a box and we feel our gifts aren’t valuable. You are to...

In this episode, we are treated to a beautiful soul who has made the phrase “Be Schmaltzy synonymous with love, compassion, and service. We all have a daily choice: Be who we really want to be in the moment or be someone who is caught up in external appearances and what others think. Tony is organizing an event for later in 2022 to have people get together and hear from prominent speakers on how to be authentic, how to serve, and how to be lovingly authentic in the world. Every day there are hu...

In this episode, we discuss how to have a bigger influence on the world around you. Many say, “I want to help people.” Or even bigger, “I want to change the world.” That is wonderful and my mission is to help 10 million people discover, develop and serve with their divine gifts. So how do we start? You always start where you are, because you must. So start with what is handy for you. Serve someone right now. Whether it is Covid or the war in Ukraine or some small church or neighborhood project....

In this episode, we talk about a fundamental, and eternal truth. You are awesome. This is not some high-five, drop the balloons awesome, but a deep, truthful statement. You came from somewhere with gifts and talents. You have a celestial glow. Most of us settle for crumbs and live for half a portion. That stops here. You can be, do and have anything you want. You can be happy today. You can have joy today. You can live as a beacon of light, a vessel of love, and a conduit of power right now. Bu...

In this episode, we talk about the struggles we all have. What is heartache? Why does it feel like our hearts will explode sometimes? There is a deep connection between what we think and what we feel in our “hearts.” Our spiritual essence feels and responds. When things are hard or wrong, we hurt. Our body is not threatened, yet we are weak and tired. Heartache can be healed. One way is to just wait and time smooths over many things. But that is the slow and difficult way and it does not work f...