Healing Doesn't Begin When They Change. It Begins When You Let Go.

Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living a dream? It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power, and real talk, so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. Hello there, and welcome to your ultimate life. The podcast I created so you could live like this.A life of purpose, prosperity and joy. And if you're not watching the video, you missed the thing I pointed at the background behind me, which is the roads to purpose, prosperity and joy.Today I've got a special guest, Amy Harper. Amy, welcome to the show.

Hi, Kellen. Thanks for having me.

I love your energy. I love what you're about. And you and I had a chance to visit a month or so ago on my other show, which was LA Talk Radio.And often people are on both shows and they say, well, the name is, the show is the same. What are we going to do different? And the answer is, it is completely different.So if you didn't catch Amy's show, which airs on June 30, aired on June 30, you need to go back and check that out. I'm going to make sure that that date is right. Yeah, no, it is Tuesday, June 30th, so go check the episode out on latalkradio.com.So, Amy, you and I were just chatting in the green room before the show about. About a choice. And I don't do introductions. And you guys listening, you'll get this. You know that, because I always say that.But you'll find out her magic as we go along. So you were talking before the show about a choice that we can make when life brings us a set of difficult circumstances.And sometimes we're tempted to chew the bear meat. You know, bear meat gets bigger as you chew on it more, right. And it just eats your lunch and goes on and consumes you.And then you get the opportunity, if you want to, to cut it off, to let it go, to just be clean. And I want you to talk about whatever you need to. To describe, but about the energetics of that choice and the consequence of. Of releasing things.

Well, I came to a really liberating choice this morning. And I realized when I was thinking about it that this entire time, for the past three and a half years, that I have been chewing on this choice.The reason I've been chewing on it is because my. Whatever pronoun, people like people like spirit, people like soul, people like inner light, whatever.My, my inner self, my light, my, My truth and my Id have been doing this and bumping heads at each other. And I've just been in the middle of both. Both of these parts of myself just taking it.And I. I have been in the middle of an absolutely brutal divorce for this time. And I understand there's not a single divorce on this earth that's pleasant. Nobody finishes this experience and says, I can't wait to do that again.That was great. Got some pictures. Love to. An excuse to go to the frame store. Nobody finishes this experience like that. But mine has been particularly brutal.And my ex husband, his actions have been absolutely abhorrent. And I decided this morning it's time to just let it go.I have been hanging on to fighting this fight with the hopes that he would take care of himself because I've been literally supporting him and the kids, all of it in its entirety. And you know, a scorpion's gonna sting. That's just what it does.And by me hanging onto this, I have literally been putting a giant wall in front of myself and my liberation and this beautiful life. And I have this beautiful life. But how can I possibly coach all of these women through their own trauma and their own lib?How can I possibly be there for them in the most wholehearted, energetic way where I literally take them in to the embrace of my care and my coaching and my guidance if I am not living that myself in its absolute entirety? And so I decided this morning to just let it go. I'm going to give him what he wants. He can have the money. I don't care. Money is fluid and common.I can make more of it. I don't care. I'm choosing myself. And so I decided to cut it off and just let it go.

That is a super thank you. Thank you for sharing those details and being vulnerable in that way.And I know that you told me ahead of time, I asked permission, you know, if we could talk about that a little bit. Not because I'm trying to talk about the difficulties of relationships, because we all know that.And that could be a whole episode talking about how to create relationships and communication and a bunch of other stuff. But the point I'm hearing from you, and it was a bonus point that I wasn't even thinking about to start with.One was the energetic choice to let it go to whatever it is for you. Listen, whatever it is, like, let it go, let it go and clear your field.Purify your energy, you know, wash your karma, whatever it is, like, clean it out.But the thing that you said that is so important, like you help women and you can talk more about who and what and what you help them do in a minute, but you help them. And you said, embrace, nurture, lift, be themselves. Let go of old stories and baggage and all that stuff. And you do that.And you described it in a way that was very tender and brought in me a feeling of this container of emotion and power and support. But you said something, you said, how can I be full on powerful and effective in that if I'm not that, if I am not that? And I want.Oh, that is so important that the book that I wrote, Coaching in the Rise of AI Coaches are going to be out of business because they don't embody the truth. They teach. And AI is so good. The only thing that's left for me and you is that embodiment. And you said that, and I loved it when you said it.I'm just like dancing in my chair, right? So thank you for sharing that. What does it feel like?Because letting something go that someone has been clinging too tightly, you know, at either the ravages of a, you know, some kind of injustice, a fury of injustice, and so we're going to fight that, or the pain of loneliness or the, you know, whatever it is, when we hold on to that as part of our lives and definition, it poisons us and blinds us. And I want you to talk a little bit about the liberation part.What does it do when you help people you work with or yourself, in your example, let that go without demanding, you know, justice or punishment of some other bad guy or gal in the picture. Talk about what that is like, huh?

Well, this might sound a little abstract, but I'm going to do my best here. I. When I guide people through that and their transformations and their journeys, I look at it as two radios and each one has a.Has a volume knob, right? And when people start with me, the volume is way up on the exterior. The things, the wrongs, the things that have been done to them.And their ego is hanging on because that's how they identify. That's how they see themselves, and that is how they present themselves into the world.That is their level of comfort for where they are in the world and how they fit into it. And stripping that away or turning the volume down is very uncomfortable, but I feel like often that's very incomplete.We can't just, you know, turn the volume down on the ID and things that we're hanging onto because it benefits us without turning the volume up on the purest and truest forms of ourselves. And who we are without all of that bs. Both of these things have to work in tandem with each other.And for me, I honestly, I don't think I'm gonna have any regrets for waiting three years to let this go, because it literally took that long in my timeline for me to have a love for myself that is so unbelievably whole and embodied and true and unshakable, and it's literally the concrete foundation that everything else sits on top of. It took that long to build it to a point where I honestly, I can look at my abuser in the eye and say, I genuinely wish you well. Good luck to you.We're done here. So I hope that answers your question.

It most certainly does. And I love the fact that you use the knobs, because I have a little phrase, right?I call it the fury of injustice, the ravages of adversity, and the pain of loneliness. That's the phrase I use to describe that stuff. And you got to turn it down, but you got to replace it.And what the truth that I just heard you articulate is that the wisdom, the beauty, the love, the divinity of your soul is there and always has been. And we have turned the knob up on those externalities, the judgments and the ravaging and the adversity and the unfairness.We've turned that up so loud that we can't hear the other.And it has defined us in a way that is harmful, and it's harmful to us, but it also deprives us and others of the other volume, which is purity and creation and light and love and divinity and all of that cool stuff that is also already there but can't be heard. And yes, turn down the bad stuff and turn up the good stuff. If we just say it that way. And I love that description,.

That description, it feels really good. It feels very true in my body. But I also want to add to it. We can't just turn up the volume on all of the really beautiful things.I mean, we can, and it feels great. And I mean, on the other show that we did together, we talked about joy.And I think I said multiple times, if we're not experiencing joy as human beings before we put on our important, I'm the CEO. Look how important I am hat of that day, then what the hell are we doing here? Oh, But there's also an embodiment factor in turning it up.And I know so many healing healers, genuinely amazing healers, and they focus so much on the good. Oh, just the light we have to be the light. We have to expand and see the good in people and all of these positive things.I agree, but I think that's just 50% of it. We are human beings. We are dark and light.And we have to get to a place where we are embodied enough, where we can give ourselves the safety to genuinely feel the pain of the human existence, process it and let it go effectively. And if we don't do that, we cannot fully embody our purest selves. And our purest selves is. That's. That's exactly what we're doing here.That's joy, that's connection, that's genuinely feeling each other's energies and having this great back and forth. But that can't be done as long as we have. I don't want to call it baggage, but these. These stones in our inner selves, we have to get rid of it.And that's. It's about an embodied whole.

You know. You know what?

You're.

You're exactly right. And it goes to the design of this existence. Like everybody at some point experiences their life as. It's terrible, it's horrible, it's not fair.This is the other kind of the. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, but Jesus, you know that kind of phrase. Everybody thinks that theirs is the worst possible experience.And you know what? For you, it probably is not you, but you and you and you and you and you. It probably. And guess what?It's designed that way for exactly the reason you said. I cannot understand the beauty of liberation and being present.If I haven't experienced the pain of loneliness and the pain of disconnection and the lost feeling of those, it's. Then that's how I experience it and enjoy it. And the joy that you talk about, I love it. Purpose, prosperity and joy.I mean, that's the definition of your ultimate life for me. And you have your own. Everybody has their own.But you can't even appreciate it if you haven't wandered through the minefield and slogged through the mud. And that is all part of this beautiful humanness. And we don't want to wallow in the mud or stay there. That's not important.But it gives us both the compassion and the understanding to love and serve others. So I think you're 100% right about that.

And it's also very frustrating. It's so frustrating. Being a human being is so, so frustrating sometimes. It's like raising my kids.Every time I think I've got this down, packed this phase I've got this. I've learned everything I need to know, and I can work with this.Then they completely evolve into a completely new sense of selves, and I've got a whole new learning curve. And that's just. It's frustrating. And that's life,.

And that's just going from four to five, let alone teen aging or something. I'm teasing. All right. Well, that's fabulous.So I want to talk about something you mentioned in the green room ahead of time, and we didn't mention it here on the show yet, but it's part of this. You talked about the word regulation.Now, I used to work in government in United States and Canada, and we're not talking about those kind of regulations. We're talking about our. Our ability to work with our heart and soul. And we, you know, nervous system regulation is a big buzzword these days.I want you to talk about not just philosophically, but tools and practices to help us be available, be regulated in such a way that we are available for these experiences as opposed to not available.

Well, I hear regulation everywhere. It's. I feel like this word is what manifestation was last year.

100%. It is the buzzword of the universe. And the other thing that's the buzzword of the universe is, you know, the vagal nerve.Like it's some holy grail of whatever. You know, it's a piece of gear we got, but it's become the spotlight piece of gear this week.But anyway, talk a little bit about it just in terms of process. And you don't have to use the word if you don't want to, but talk a little about what you feel and use to help people in that sense of self.

Sure. Well, I think the first thing to understand is our central nervous system governs everything that we do, from basic functions to how we're feeling.And, you know, navigating all the different glands all around our bodies, releasing different chemicals and different cocktails of things to create this emotional residue of our human experience.But from a very, very basic point of view, you know, I mean, I've got my water cup here, and when I want to take a sip, my central nervous system says, all right, send the arm. And then I go and get my water.

You know, speaking of which, I'll take a sip.

Yeah.But we can control how our adrenal glands, our cortisol levels, how everything runs through our bodies, and we can influence and widen our windows of safety. So before I started this work, very, very few things felt safe. My window was about this big.And I would experience these little ups and downs and then big ups and going into the depths of not being safe.But when we learn how to regulate, we are actually strengthening our abilities to, I don't want to say tolerate the things that come at us throughout the day, because that's not what I mean. The effect is not tolerating it.The effect is really not even thinking about any of these things as something that you would ever be upset about because your central nervous system understands that there's safety. We're teaching ourselves that we're safe. And, you know, there's the science, polyvagal theory, which I love, which I teach. It saved my life.And it's a very, very interesting practice because we're reading about these things that we feel and we're trying to understand them intellectually. You know, it's like all the apps now. Everything is quantified.You know, we're quantifying our heart rates, our sleep or this or that, you know, and really, these are human feeling experiences. Yes. We can look at numbers and metrics, but it can't really be quantified.So I feel like the key to regulation is first teaching safety and bringing the human body into a state where it's in the present now, detached from the external.And then we get to feel and embody these different states and learn through embodiment how to bring ourselves out of states of collapse or fight or flight.It's that window that I think really, really catapults the human experience forward into those places of joy and purity and all of those other things that we were talking about.

Thank you. I appreciate that. There's a.You know, you talked earlier about that knob that's turned way up with external approval and, you know, status and, you know, which house you have, which car you drive, what clothes you wear, what, what, blah, blah, blah. The list is forever.And there's so much of that that is sought after but doesn't really satisfy the soul because the spirit or the soul doesn't eat, you know, gold watches or whatever.

Right?

How did. How do we move from being so attached to those externalities?That knob that's turned way up, people's judgments or the trends or fashion in wet fashion, whatever it is. How do we start at least? How do we move completely? It'd be a long thing, but how do we start at least?But to realize that this doesn't really matter all that much. You can't take it with you, all the phrases we say, how do you get me started? Moving from this attachment to the external to some other place.

Well, that journey is different for everybody. For me. Well, for everyone. To put it in this very, very abstract, very large umbrella that we can't really identify, it's a return to self.It's removing. It's like. Have you ever heard Om mani Padme Hom? It means the jewel of the lotus, Right? I love Omone Padme Home.And I think about this jewel in the middle of the lotus, and we're literally just taking away and moving past all of these things that are covering us up from our truest sense of self.Whether that's trauma, big T or little T, obligation, different structures that we've created for our lives, whatever it is, and we just return to the purest forms of ourselves.And when that becomes strong enough and when we become so unbelievably anchored in our identities, because every human being's identity is radically different. And I'm not talking about how they express themselves in the 3D. I'm talking about how the inner self speaks when we give it a voice.And I feel the best way to find that out is with creative practice. That's. But that's just my bag. You know, everyone else has their different way of doing it, but the return to self.And when I started my journey, I was very much attached to these outcomes.It's like when I started talking with you today, I talked about letting go this divorce and doing all of this stuff when I started it out, I'm hanging on to it. I'm saying, no, I am going to be on the right side of history and I'm going to prove. Prove this. And he did this and not getting away with this.And it's just over the years, I have done so much of this work and I have anchored my identity to a place where regardless of what he or anybody else does, anybody with any nefarious intentions in any way, shape or form, this is exactly who I am. How I'm talking with you now, I'm like this with absolutely everybody. And there's no changing that. And no matter what anybody else does, it's.This is just going to be the same. So why hang on to something? That's. It just. It got to a point where there's just letting go becomes inevitable.

It does. If you're staying on this road of development. I love that. Go ahead. I interrupted you finish up.

Oh, I was pretty much done. I was just saying, you know, there's.

So you've talked about stripping away things.

Yeah.

And I love It. Because my experience, like yours, is that we accumulate baggage. We accumulate ideas, thoughts, mores, norms. You should do this. You got to do that.This means this.This means that from practically the first breath that we take, you know, when we're laying in cradles and somebody yells at us because we crapped our pants or because we want to eat at an inconvenient moment or whatever it is, right? And so we get this from the cradle that we're not enough.And we end up carrying, like, this enormous pile of baggage, ideas, thoughts, guilt, shame, mistakes, abuse, stuff that was heaped on us or that we did and whatever it is. And so you've said several times, stripping away and getting back to an essence. And I love that. And I want everybody listening.Just hold that thought. The pure inner essence. And that doesn't mean, you know, if you did something bad to somebody, maybe there's something you gotta fix.Maybe, whatever, okay? But still, there is a path to reconciliation with yourself, to cleaning up things and to returning to the pure light that you are, because you are.It's not hype. You are that.I want to move to creative expression because we could talk about this other stuff forever and maybe we'll come back to it, but we didn't really get a chance on the other show. And I want to today to talk about this because you said creative expression is you.And I want you to talk about how you personally express what is your creative outlet and how you help others find those things that they wanted to do, could do, thought they ought to do, never did, buried, delayed because of whatever obligations and all the rest of crap. Talk about that process and your own liberation and how you've helped others, because I love creative expression.

Okay, I'm going to make a really bold statement that's going to make a lot of people angry.

Yay.

Sorry.

No, you're not okay.

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not okay.Every modality out there that is teaching somebody how to use a charcoal pencil, paint, collage, all, anything, whatever it is, they are doing it wrong. It's wrong. It's all wrong. All of it's wrong. I'm not saying it's not useful. It's wrong. It's all wrong. And here's what's wrong with it.The beauty of creative expression, it's just like it's in. In life. It's the process. It's the act of getting there. And we cannot get there if we are using somebody else's method.We absolutely cannot get into these flow states and in these places where we are genuinely allowing our inner self that hasn't had a voice since we were probably a very young child to actually speak and move and say something if we are doing it with, you know, Ted's method from drawing class. Well, I'm not Ted and nobody else is Ted. Maybe that works for Ted, but that's not going to work for anybody else.So the way to do it is to empower the artist to first understand that they are both the artist and the masterpiece. The outcome is completely irrelevant. So there is zero pressure and it's process based.So I teach people to work with the materials in tandem with breathwork.That regulates and because we're focused on pretty colors and the tactile experience and our hands are busy, the natural side effect is to quiet any and all looping thoughts, especially anything related to the exterior, any pressure, anything that's weighing us down. And then we get lost in these flow states and, and, and oh, after a few times we start to actually witness how our inner self wants to talk.What does it have to say? We start noticing all of these amazing identity shifts and the way that people work. It's literally like watching a person being born. It's.It's absolutely incredible.

So I understood most of that. I think maybe all of it. Well, maybe all of it. But I want to dig in a little bit because I thought it was beautiful.And thank you for starting with that. Everything everybody taught you how to do is wrong. Good, let's start there. And the reason is because you haven't discovered it yet.Maybe after you do what you said. I find that I really like using a charcoal pencil this way, but I found it in a different way than assuming that was the way to do it.I found it because I found it. And it's like I remembered something I heard. You know what I did like that. That was really good. I'm going to use that. And I.So the complete repudiation. And maybe it goes further than just expression. Maybe it means everything you learned about everything is suspect.And maybe we won't say wrong, but at least suspect, right?And maybe the truth of your human beingness is to allow yourself the freedom to explore that beingness in terms of how you speak or how you draw or dance or move or paint or stand on your head in the corner or do whatever it is you want to do. And in that exploration have permission to discover.

Well, I think you hit the nail on the head with that because it's wrong, but it's also not. Yes, the Techniques are correct and we can experience joy with them.And we can go and do this and do a paint night or hang out or do whatever and experience that. And that's great. But what's, it's. It's like what we were talking about earlier with the embodied self. We can't just focus on all of this light.We have to actually focus on the yin and the Yang and go through the mud to experience the lighter part of the self. Right? So when a person creates and explores their creativity, the reason it's wrong is because, yes, they can learn the technique and that's fine.But any technique that's learned has to be adapted to the way that person individually wants to express. That is what makes it sustainable, and that is what makes it a process that refills your cup every time and never takes.Because any person that's ever picked up a creative hobby and really pursued it knows that after a while it starts to feel. Feel constrictive and it's harder to keep that hobby and keep up with it. And it doesn't feel as nurturing as it did when you first started it.That's because you're working with somebody else's method. That method has to be adapted to your inner self.And the only way that we find out the way that your inner self wants to work is by starting with the basics, entering flow states and meditative states with your creativity, and letting those forms of identity start to show up on their own. That's the way so the tech can be added. And I think it's great, and I use it and I love it.And I have my own art practice that is completely separate from all of this, and it's very nurturing.But if the identity for what each individual person wants, what they have to say and how they want to say, it is not fully anchored any of these other processes. Eventually it's just going to keep taking water out of the cup. It's never going to refill, and it's not sustainable.That's not a sustainable expression of self.

So let's take that and apply it to the whole of being, which is, I think, what you do in your coaching, because the core of what you just said is I need to have permission.I need to have permission that I never had since I took my first breath to explore this place, this big empty vacuum of what I wanted to do or be or say or express. And when you do that as art or some kind of creative expression, that's a microcosm of life.And we have been so filled with, you're supposed to do this and supposed to do this and supposed to grow up and go here and do this and be this and follow this path that we have the same constrained experience.And as I was hearing you describe that in the context of creative expression, I thought, gee, that sounds like the permission we have to get or give to others or help others realize as we coach them or something, that that is the place where you have life or your creative practice in a way that fills your cup, because one is extractive, meaning it's pulling the energy out of me because I got to follow a path and it's got to have this and that outcome, I. E. Status or externalities or art. That looks like a certain thing as opposed to the process, which is I get to get. I have permission. And a funny way I said, you say this to a client.He's passed this now. But I said, come on, you have permission to be weird. Like, you have permission to be weird.So be weird, like, in whatever way that makes sense to him.And it made sense in the context of that conversation, but it applies to the fullest expression of our spirit in going through this life, which is, after all, a creative journey.

Yes.And I love that you use the word permission, because I feel like in this work, in coaching people, permission turns into authority with the participant.So every human being, whenever we go into a therapist's office, psychiatrist office, whatever this or that, we're healing ourselves, the doctor or authority figure is just essentially giving us permission on doing that. We're the ones that are doing the healing. We're making the connections.We're forming new neurological pathways, and we're expanding our lives, even though it's uncomfortable. You know, I went to therapy for years, and it's. Yes, it's. They're. They're guiding, but we're still the ones that are doing the healing. And the thing.

Oh, if you're not, it never works.If you're not, you're there forever, and you've got the rest of your life on some shrink couch or chair because it's never going to work unless you take authority and heal yourself.

Exactly. But I feel like that's a big disconnect with a lot of practitioners now.You know, my goal when people come to work with me is for them to not need me anymore in a short period of time. I want them to be good. They're on their own, completely solid. They're great. But permission needs to turn into an authority. And whenever we.We go into any of this healing or expression. We're always looking for an authority figure to essentially validate it.It's like when people pull up social media and see individuals that are showing off their finished paintings. And every time I see this, I can never unsee it.All I can see is those photos of people at lakes when they catch a fish and they take a photo with the fish. You know, I just, I. I'm looking at a man with a fish. Okay, the fish does. Did you have a nice day? The fish is irrelevant.Put the fish back in the sea and let's get back to work. So we have to restore authority to the self. Right.And when it becomes process based and feeling based, the end result becomes completely irrelevant and we become completely focused on the self. And then we start making choices throughout the day where we're choosing ourselves and we're feeling better.And then we start noticing all of these little synchronicities that happen within ourselves. So the permission, that's how it starts.But I feel like the end result is authority to the self, returning the power to the self that we can heal ourselves.And we genuinely, when we experience the actual physicality of regulation and how our regulation speaks through creativity and giving ourselves a voice.

So I want to ask a practical question that might. You know, we said something earlier that might irritate the listeners. This might irritate you, but that's okay.So at the end of the day, people pay for coaching. They pay you. They pay me. They pay in money. So they have to have money. And money is like from their business or their work or their job or whatever.I mean, some people just have money, but most don't just have it, they got to earn it somehow.

Yeah.

So I believe that everything that you're teaching about this permission then becomes authority, autonomy, and I call it personal sovereignty. But whatever it is, I believe you. And I agree with that.Talk through how that strengthens and improves someone's employability, economy, an ability to fit into the world and make money.Because I don't want to leave the conversation with the idea that we all just go off into weird land and fly up into the light and we're all cool and expressing ourselves. You know, it sounds like San Francisco in the 60s. Okay. I was born in San Francisco and I lived through that time. Okay. I remember him literally. Okay.And I'm that old. Yeah. But I remember that.So talk about how that fits into the world we have of productivity and creation and making things and stuff, because it fits. But I just want you to talk about that a little.

Well, usually when I start with my clients, I like to do a little visualization exercise and I talk to them and I have them close their eyes and take some deep breaths and shoulders down, chest open, feeling fully supported where they are.And I want them to tell me what it would feel like and what their life would look like if they showed up every day without the emotional residue of what their mom did to them, their dad did to them, their ex husband, their this, all of that. If they showed up completely liberated from that and anchored in a place of genuine joy, but most importantly, authenticity.How would every human being's life pan out if they genuinely felt like they were working and flowing with the world and not against the grain? Living against the grain is exhausting. It's horrible. All it does is produce cortisol and exhaust our adrenal glands.And it just makes the things weird. All right? Whenever I'm in that place, my kids start acting weird and that's when they start acting out.But when I'm regulated and fully anchored in who I am and when I'm this person who's talking to you right now, they're happy and life is easy breezy, but feeling like we're flowing with life and things just happen to work out with our favor. Some people call it luck. I call it the human experience. Experience. But to get there, you have to learn a few things.First, we have to learn about our biology.We are these unbelievably expansive, multi dimensional beings, but we're here for a very blip, just this tiny fraction, this period of time, just a, just a, just a drop in the world's large, the most, the universe's largest cosmic bucket. And we're in these weird meat suits with all of this weird biology. And we gotta learn how to operate the controls. And nobody ever teaches us that.And so I want every person who's listening to this to know that you can learn those controls. It's incredibly simple and incredibly easy. There's nothing mystical or weird about it.And learning how to operate all of that genuinely puts you in a place where you can show up as your most authentic self.What would your business decisions be like if you were making every decision from a place of joy and authenticity, with no fear, frustration, or being self conscious or insecure? Because being without all of that, I have to tell you, is beyond liberating.

So I want you to thank you because you've tied that knot really clearly. It is not just about, okay, take care of yourself, love yourself, and be Weird. That's maybe part of the concept or structure, have permission.But what you said is.And when you are fully, authentically yourself and you no longer are governed or pushed around by the fears and stuff like that, you make better decisions. You build businesses from a place of truth. Your customer relationships are real. You're not pretending about anything anymore.I don't care what business you're in. And what you produce in the world is full of real passion, real truth. And truth carries its own power.When we live with this, the pall of expectations over us, this dark sort of pressure, then we make decisions from like it is when that knob of externalities is turned up, when you turn that down and turn up the truth of who we are, then the business decisions, the sales calls, the follow up, the networking, the real things that do produce, the lubricant that we need to move through the world, which is an amount of cash. Because that's the trading mechanism we happen to use. It becomes easier to do, easier to make and easier to have flow in and out of your life.Like you said in the very beginning, when you're talking about getting clear, money comes, money goes. Just an exchange mechanism. Let's go make some more. I'll do some other stuff. And it becomes easier to do that.So I just wanted to bring that piece in about money. And not because money's almighty, because it's not, but we need some.And so the truth of what you're teaching and how you help people disconnect from the noise and own the truth of their authentic selves makes all of that other stuff, including the financial part, simpler, easier and more. More beautiful.

Absolutely. All relationships, all interactions with other human beings, you would be amazed.Well, you're not amazed because this is how you live your life, but you know, people listening would be amazed when you are showing up in full authenticity that translates exactly the same. It doesn't matter who you're talking to, you're the same person to everyone.When you are your most authentic self, you would be amazed at how people respond to you. Business. Business relationships are just so much more solid and easy. I find that when I team up with other practitioners for classes, they're just.It's all anchored in genuine sisterhood and loving each other and working together. Even when things get tough or tense or a little bringing up discussions that are a bit uncomfortable. It's when you're mo.When you are your most authentic self, everything around you, including other human beings, responds from that exact same frequency.

Thank you for saying that.So we're we're getting to the end here and I want to ask you if there's anything you didn't tell us in this constellation of, of powerful truth that you shared, is there something that's hanging out for you that you want to mention as a closing thought?

I, this was on my mind yesterday. I just think deserves its own seat at the table. I think as human beings, we tend to, to really over complicate absolutely everything.Absolutely everything. We over complicate our healing, we over complicate money, we overcomplicate relationships, absolutely everything.And I just want to say healing doesn't have to be hard and relationships don't have to be hard and life does not have to be hard. And I think a lot of the messaging out there for all of us is if you want to heal and you want to be successful, you have to do these things.This is my 50 point plan and it ends within this retreat. And we're going to do this thing on the top of the hill and that's going to make you the person that you need to be.No, no, that's, that's, that's a sales pitch. That's not human experience.And so I just want to encourage anybody that's listening to kind of wear a bit of a filter and realize that a lot of people out there want to intellectualize all of this experience, but this is a feeling experience and it cannot be intellectualized and feeling. It can be safe and it can be easy and it can be most importantly, accessible for anybody who wants it.

I love that and thank you.So if somebody's hearing and wants to talk to Amy and wants to learn about you or wants to engage with you further or hire you to do something, how do they do that?

Theartbear.com I have all my classes on there. You can join onto my email list and I'll send you a bunch of free breathworks every week to help with your life.Or you can reach out to me on socials. It's me, Amy Harper, and I respond to all my DMs.

It's what the. Amy Harper.

Oh, it's me, Amy Harper.

It's me, Amy Harper. Or it's just Amy. It's me, Amy Harper.

It's me, Amy Harper.

Good. I just want, you know, the handles are important. All right, you guys that are listening, go there. Theartbear.com check it out, see what she's got.What you've heard today is truth, authenticity, sincerely given, sincerely shared from a place of real beingness and reach out to her. I know her personally and I know that she'll answer you. Amy, I want to thank you for coming and sharing your heart and love here today on the show.

Thanks for having me. Kellen, always so great to talk with you.

So we this the show's the ultimate life and everybody that I bring on here has a story, has a thought, has a process and it won't do you any good if it goes in one ear and out the other. So listen with the idea of what will serve you, lift you, bless you because you deserve and you can create if you want to your ultimate life.Right here, right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.If you want to know more go to kellenfluecigermedia.com if you want more free tools go here YourUltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.

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