The Story of Your Becoming Is the Authority No AI Can Copy

Your deepest gift is not what you know how to do. I don't care what it is. It's who you have become while learning, failing, surviving, choosing, rebuilding and serving. Welcome to the show.Tired of the hype about living the dream. It's time for truth. This is the place for tools, power and real talk. So you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life.Foreign subscribe, Share, create. You have infinite power. Welcome to your ultimate life. Today, I want to just make a bold statement. Skill is not the same thing as authority. Okay?There's a huge difference between what we know how to do and who we are. I'm not saying credentials don't matter. They do. But the story of your becoming is where your irreplaceable authority lives.You might be, you probably are extremely good at what you do. I assume everybody that I meet, at least as smart as I am, at least as skilled and at least as capable.Doctor, lawyer, engineer, architect, coach, consultant, healer, executive musician, speaker, writer, dad, mom, all those things. Wonderful. But what you are is not the gift. That's what I said to start with. Your most important gift is not what you know how to do.The most important gift you have for yourself and for those you serve, whether they're your kids, your clients, or the world in general. It's what you've become. While. While you've. While you've learned it.While you failed, survived, chosen not to give up, been ruined for a while, and then decided to be refined and rebuilt and serving that. You know, I'm not downplaying your capable excellence or mine. It puts excellence in the right place. Skill is a tool.Becoming is the fire that shapes it. Your profession is not your deepest authority. Your skill is not your deepest authority. Okay, I want you to think about. We'll do something. A sculptor.A sculptor may be able to craft a beautiful thing. A sculptor who is the thing and puts that energy in it. You can feel it. You know it. And that's what makes a masterpiece.A singer can be technically excellent and sing a beautiful song. And if they are be. If they express the truth of their being at the time, then it's an unforgettable performance. Piano is the same way. I'm a pianist.I've spent years learning some difficult classical music. And I've seen people perform some of the same music that I've done and do it better technically. Better technically. Marvelous.And someone else can play it. And it moves your soul because it's different.And that's an expression of who you are, what you do may open the door, but who you are decides what happens when you enter the room. The perfect example. It's now I'm recording this mid July.You'll see it in a few weeks, but you'll see it before I go to iands I A N D S. International association of Near Death Studies. They're having their annual conference at the end of August, August 27 to 8 to 9:30, I think, in Seattle.I've been invited to come and speak for an hour, and I'm going to. What I'm speaking about is From Experience to Evidence. Okay? And it's specifically talking about STEs or NDEs.And it's funny, I learned a whole bunch of acronyms I didn't know. But STE stands for Spiritually Transformative experience. That maybe does or doesn't involve death or near death.And the E obviously stands for near death experience. And I'm in the latter category. My diet, I flatlined. But. And I'm there. And what I'm going to talk about is From Experience to Evidence.And I want you to think about that for a minute because I'm going to be powerful and direct. There are so many people who talk about their STEs or NDEs or other spiritually connective or breakthrough or transformative experiences.And yet if you look at life that they live, you cannot see the evidence of that truth. You know, go through the calendar and you look moment to moment, and on the days there is no evidence or not substantial evidence.And so the point of my talk is going to be what evidence is there?What real, powerful, transformative evidence is there in your life because of this breakthrough transformation, insight, wisdom or whatever that was created for you because you went to an event or read a book or. Or at an ayahuasca retreat or died or whatever it is. Like, what is it that's truly different for you? And that's what matters.So this is why I said, what you do may open the door, but what you are determines what happens in the room. And I want you to just let that be the foundation. Open your mind, please, and understand that who you are is everything. All the rest is a decoration.I don't care if you're a rocket scientist or specialist surgically, who you are is trumps them. All skills can be copied, right? And I use that in my piano example or a building example. My.One of my sons is a carpenter, a builder, a master builder. Fabulous. And his standard for building is perfection. So he'll go into a commercial installation in a mall.He did a Lot of work in several malls around here in Edmonton and they have, you know, cabinets and new stores are going in and so they have all the interior mill work to do and he'll go in there and get, you know, millwork that's created by somebody be built some cabinets and stuff. They don't fit just right and what normally happens is they do some jerry rigged stuff to make it fit and then it's not really good.He doesn't ever do that. He will fix the mill work.He will create things, you know, the braces and the extra little pieces so that it fits perfectly even though it takes longer and costs him more because that's who he is. And that magic that he creates when things are that good, creates opportunity all over the place.It was one company that just hired him that said I don't care what your other things are, whatever they are, we need you. We'll let you do your travel like you want to. He's got some three kids and you know, all that stuff. I don't care. We need you. Why?Because of who he is in the work that they need. So it's, it's enough. It's, it's not. Enough is the wrong word.It's important to understand the criticality that who you are as you do, whatever you do, it trumps everything. Frameworks can be learned. I am sick to death, frankly.Sick to death of people in the coaching and advising business that quote frameworks and that quote meaningless platitudes, fake it till you make it. And you know, all that crap, all of it is garbage. The real focus is on both understanding and I.You know, you see yourself in the mirror of truth without excuse or judgment. This isn't about being negative. It's about truth. So seeing yourself truthfully as you are right now is the only place you can start.Because if we're unwilling to tell the truth, we can't grow, we can't start from where we're not. We can pretend and all it does is put lipstick on a pig. So you can learn beautiful frameworks and affirmations and tools and replicate them forever.And you're never going to paint them on a Lisa. You're never going to create the things that you're built to create.And you know, if I'm using a world class thing like the Mona Lisa by comparison and you see, well, you have that in you. You are that good. You are a divine being with infinite capability.Now you may not want to live there and you may not want to acknowledge that and you may not want to have that be part of your life. You know, I can't fix that. I'm sad for you. But your unicorn ness is what I want to see. It's what I want to be part of.I want to be blessed with the total massive beauty of what you can become. Any skill can be copied. Any framework that there is can be learned. But the frameworks themselves think about where they came from.So Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Everybody read that back in the day. It's like 40 years old now or something. One of the best business books still sits at the, you know, near the top.How long you can copy and quote all the framework, begin with the end in mind. Seek first to understand, then to be understood all those things you can quote.You know what it cost Covey to learn that he spent years in organizations and study to create that framework. And so him having that framework and teaching it is a million times more powerful than you or me learning the framework and spouting it.Any framework is an invitation to do the internal work so that we can have the benefit of the years that somebody spent to create it. Processes can be taught. I want you to think about this. You know, think of the old framework that was for hundreds of years.It was a master craftsman, they had an apprentice and then, you know, and they learned certain things, then a journeyman learned certain things, then a master. And that's replicated in a lot of trades.Now isn't it interesting that I'm seeing all these news articles that say that, you know, the trades are taking off 100,000, 120,000, $140,000 a year. Jobs are now trade jobs because excellence with the hands, the actual creation trumps everything. AI can't do any of that.And AI is changing, you know, verticals all over the place and all kinds of things in all kinds of fields, even, you know, delicate things, car assembly and even some medical procedures. In some cases, robots perform surgeries because of their exact precision. And those things are good and wonderful.And then it frees up people to do what only people can do. And that is be the truth. They, they teach that they have learned. Processes can be taught and followed mimicked credentials can be earned.You can get all kinds of certification behind your name and it doesn't amount to Hill of Beans. It's not, it's, it's nothing without your being, without the truth of your belief and experience.I want you to think of the musician who's gone through whatever they've gone through to Write the heart wrenching songs. If all they do is sing about that, there's no power.But when they can be in front of an audience and sing from that place, we weep, we get angry, we raise our fist, we, we join. AI now mimics, summarizes and supports many skill based functions, tons of them. And so you can take the view that what are we left for?Well, the truth is the thing that only your spirit can do. You can be a person, you can be integrity, you can be love, you can be the truth. You can be with someone in a way that AI never can.And I say that using AI hours a day sometimes help me writing books, create programs, write summaries, on and on and on. And it still depends. I mean, I'm in the middle of editing a book.I'm going to finish my first fiction book here, pretty quick couple weeks it's written. We're on our sixth or seventh editing pass.And you know what I'm finding as I do the detailed read through after AI has done several passes, all kinds of things I'm finding, you know, continuity issues and just stuff that's not there.Because AI cannot become you, the creative person, it cannot love, it cannot create safety, it cannot live your pain, it cannot integrate your lessons. Yes, it can summarize and it does that really well, but it cannot integrate them in the human way.It cannot carry your presence, it cannot embody your conviction. One of the things I notice all the time now, I dictate into AI rather than type just because it's easier for me. And I type well, but not.I have to think about it.And when I speak, I don't, I'm always telling it, I'm angry here, I'm frustrated, I'm weeping, I'm saying this with emphasis, I add those because otherwise it's just words. AI or skill mimicking. And this is not just AI I, I think about coaches that are just mimicking.They're performing, coaching performance will never display what the truth costs you. AI can never trans own that, understand it. This morning example, I was talking to Chad GPT and I've trained it now for many, many, many months.It has 6 to 8 million words of our conversation, millions and millions of words. So it knows me really well.And when I talk about the feelings, inspiration and revelation, it acknowledges that, but it cannot understand, does not know what to do with that. And that means it cannot transmit the lived authority that you have.It's just, it's just not able to do that because there's an energetic Presence, that's the being inside of us. Right. That cannot be duplicated. Okay. All right. So I want you to think this. Think about this. I want you to let this land in your soul.The more skill becomes commoditized. Think about this. The more that skill becomes accessible, even high levels of skill, the more becoming matters. Becoming is who you have changed into.Got a client right now that I've been working with for a while, several years.And gradually over the years, the language has changed completely that he uses about himself, his business and others because he's become someone else. And you say, yeah, of course, as the years go by, we all grow and change. You do.And when you pay attention to that and do it on purpose, you grow and change more powerfully, faster and more effectively, so that it matters that it has happened. Okay? So right now, in the Western world, we have ridiculous abundance.I saw a video the other day on, I think it was Facebook, may have been YouTube, of a fellow from another country, Eastern European country, that was saying he thought Americans, North Americans, but he was talking about Americans were absurd and ridiculous, complaining about this, that, and the other. And he gave some statistics that he'd looked up about how little the rest of the world lives on per day.And we here are bitching in his language about, you know, this costs too much. We don't have that. And he just shook his head and said, you people had need to get a grip. You have no clue what you're talking about.And I just thought how interesting that was because we live in ridiculous abundance. And yet there is more isolation and more separation, more loneliness, more mental illness, more suicide, more violence than ever. Why? Because.Because people are hungering for what is real. I don't care how good the robots get. The hunger for truth and being real cannot be satiated, satisfied, made to feel full by these other methods.Now I'm saying all that, and I'm not saying competence doesn't matter, but it only matters like this, without presence. Because competence, without your presence is just mechanical.You know that you've done business with people or interactions with people where it's just mechanical. The world has enough information, it has enough performance. It's starving for integrated people.So when I tell you your story, the story of your becoming is everything you've got. That's what I'm talking about. Because it's unique, it's powerful, it's yours. It matters. It's grounded in the truth of your life.The future doesn't belong to the highly skilled. It belongs to the deeply formed. And I want you to hold that like gold. All right, so let's talk for a minute about why that matters so much.Because let's assume, I'm going to assume that you have 1, 2, 3 deeply developed skills. Let me give you an example. I'm an experienced executive. I've run many people, many large teams, productively, effectively, and created big success.Skill I've developed. I'm a skilled audio engineer. I've run a studio for many years, continuous learning.I'm really good at recording and mixing and mastering, creating music. I'm a skilled orator. I know how to speak, organize things.I'm speaking tomorrow in our congregation at church because I was asked to a couple of weeks ago. You know those things. I do speak at conferences. I'm going to Seattle to speak. So I've developed that skill.I'm not saying yay me, I'm just giving you some examples. So what are the skills you have developed? And don't be modest. What are the skills that you know how to do really well?I want you to list them two or three things. You don't have to do all of them. And then I want you to think about this truth.Two people can have exactly the same skill level and produce different results. Way different, wildly different results. Why would that be true? Okay.One person who has high skill might bring to the performance or the activity or the building or the consultation. Ego, fear, performance, insecurity, manipulation, borrowed certainty.All of those things affect how this highly skilled person does whatever they do the other person who's just as skilled brings because this is who they are. Humility, patience, truth, love, clarity, grounded authority, the desire for service, you know, that kind of thing.Same tool, same skill, completely different being. I want you to think about how different that would be. Think about any field you want. Accounting. Boring as anything.An accountant that brings ego, fear, performance insecurity, manipulation, borrowed certainty versus an accountant that's working on your taxes or your tax structure for your LLCs and your holding corp or whatever it is lives. And. And they come instead with humility, presence, truth, love, clarity, service. Which one's going to do a better job for you?Same tool, different being. So let's talk about several different places. Coaches. Obvious I am one. A coach can ask the right question and have absolutely no power.Another coach can ask the same question. And because of the context and the feeling, meltdown, insight, growth, opportunity.A leader jump into corporate, small supervisor on the floor, you know, department leader, division head, director or something, can run a meeting, talk about all the Right things and have ball on the agenda and there's no trust because of who they're being. Another leader comes in, runs the same meeting, same people, same problems. It's productive. People participate. Right?A doctor can know the science and not see the person. Oh, I am so connected to that. You've seen doctors that don't give a crap and you can feel that. You've seen other doctors that actually care.That's a choice of being a speaker can say the right words, beautiful words, and not move the room. Same for singers, performers, artists, leaders. Right? So I want you to think about why the skill is not the key. The tool is never.The tool is just, you know, a thing. But the ma. What it matters, the power is how the person using it carries it. Technique without transformation is just performance.Your now hear this, let this land. Your being enters the work before your method. Your being projects into the work before you. Your method does.I want you to hold that because that's true and what that means to me and how I conduct my life. And my coaching is every single day without exception. I am intentionally working on my being.And those of you that follow me at all know I have a two and a half hour morning creation process that I never skip. It's not that I'm broken, it's not that I'm weird.It is an intentional choice because I know that my being enters every conversation before anything else does. And so I want to be love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine.Even in this conversation, I make these observations and invite you by way of invitation. Because so many people that I talk to who are performing excellence with their skills are not being love, they are not being service.Instead they are performing skill. So let's talk about how this being is developed, how you do it, how you get to where I'm talking about.Because I've given you enough examples that if you're listening and if you care, you know exactly what I mean. And either you're like, it's just burning inside of you and you know it because you create yourself on purpose every convo, every day, every hour.And you're being that loving and fierce self. And if you are, I invite you to get a hold of me.I'd invite you to go to your ultimate life podcast.com yourultimate lifepodcast.com use the contact form. Get a hold of me because I love having you on the show. I want you to share your message.I want you to share what you've done, who you are, how you became who you are. I want to honor you and show someone, other people. More examples, the more the better.So if this burns in you and you're like, I'm doing that, and I'm validated and glad, then I want to see you. I want to talk to you. I want to have you here. I'd love to interview you and be part of. Have you be part of this.If, on the other hand, I'm talking about this and you're saying, okay, okay, I hear you, but how the frick do I do that? Let's start at the beginning. The place to start is your story of becoming.Because if you're listening to this and you're yearning for what I'm talking about, that powerful being that moves mountains and creates miracles, if that's what you're yearning to be, then you're already in a good place because that means you are developed enough to have the yearning. Not from greed, not from. Because I can make money, not from.But if you're yearning to serve and you haven't yet mastered that being, that just creates magic. It starts with the story of your becoming. Meaning, what things have you been through, what struggles have hurt you and you've overcome?What challenges have you met that you're now either coping with or you're on the other side of that has driven you to a place of this resonating with you and you wanting to serve. Your story of becoming tells people what shaped you. It tells them why you care.I interview so many people and it just becomes obvious whether they're for the podcast or just because I meet a lot of people, I always ask them, how did you get where you are, what shaped you, what happened? Your story says what you've seen. It shows what you know deeply, what you've learned that nobody else knows. Okay?And almost more than anything, it shows why you care. People tell me they want to help and they love people, etc, etc, and what's interesting to me is to find out how they got there.How did you get to the place where this is so important? Tell me. Share with me. And as I interview them, share with the audience where your conviction came from. Because nobody falls up that mountain.You know, we don't. You crawled, you bled, you worked, you struggled, you got the help, you healed you. You know, you've didn't. You've.You are doing or have done those things. And that has created in you both the yearning to serve and a conviction that it's important. And I want to share that. Okay, you get to.In your store you get to find out what you really stand for. You know, it's easy. People can say, well, I need to have, I need to build a business, I need to make some money and I kind of like to do this.It's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about where you're driven. You are a mission driven person, man. I want to talk to you. You're invited.Your ultimate lifepodcast.com contact form get you on the show this winter, La Talk Radio. I want to hear the price you paid. I want to hear what you stand for. And I want you to tell me in the audience why your work matters.Those are the powerful things of being. Because without those things, you may be very capable.You may be certified in 27 modalities and frameworks and tools and whatever, but you're interchangeable, you're replaceable with somebody else with just the same skill or AI or whatever. You're a commodity.But when you have the passion about what you stand for, why your work matters, what you paid for, how you, what you paid for it, and all the rest that I just listed, you're invincible. With that, you are anchored. You become a light no one can deny. Okay? Your, your story gives your skill and a soul. And soul matters more than skill.It just does. You've seen, here's a funny example, right?You've seen a person who tries to dance and they move with the beat, you know, and they're not moving out of the beat. I'm not even talking about that. They move with the, you know, counting 1, 2, 3, 4. And they move their body with the beat.And then you've seen somebody that's got soul, man. I mean, they just do the thing and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want that. That's what I'm talking about.Only it's with your skill, your gifts, your life experience, your becoming turns your skill into authority. Because people can feel that your work is not like theoretical skills make you useful, your story makes you trustworthy.Okay, credentials, initials, certifications. They say you studied and story says you have become. Your story is the bridge between competence and authority.And more than anything, people are craving presence, truth, authenticity, authority they can trust, not performed competence. You know that because that's what you're looking for. Now, there's a danger when we hide behind just competence.And I know this because I was one of them. High capacity people often hide. They say, well, I'll just do great work. I'll let my work speak for itself. I don't need to talk about myself.And I'm not talking about becoming a braggart or running around tooting your horn and strutting in online or pretending screw that, I'm not talking about that right out of the get go. Okay, my credentials should speak for me. My results should be enough. Now that part is true.But then when you, when someone sees your results and they're impressed, there has to be congruence in the first instant they're with you that says, yeah, your results are enough. And I can feel why that has to happen. My credentials should speak.They do, but not if in the first 10 seconds of interaction they don't feel the truth of your being, your becoming all the stuff we listed earlier. Your good work does matter. See, competence matters a lot. What matters more is the energetic experience.And I know that's woo woo speak, but it's true.The energetic experience that someone has the minute they meet you or see you or they see you on a video or you see know, whatever it is, there's something that's transmitted beyond skill. I'll give you an example. I personally know someone who is extraordinarily articulate.They can form words really well, they're capable, they speak well. And when I hear them speak, I'm impressed. I'm blown away. Holy frick. That's a good description. But I am not sensing energetic congruence.I am not sensing the truth of being behind the beautifully articulated words. And that makes, that makes. It doesn't make me not like them, I do like them, but it leaves empty. It leaves.I'm impressed as hell with the language and, and there's something missing. This is the missing power you're becoming.The integrity and authenticity between what you say and who you are, what you teach and how you walk through the world. And I don't need to talk about myself. It's true, you don't. But it's only true when the experience of you is absolutely congruent.It matches and there isn't a question because the energy of truth penetrates the entire conversation. So I so recognize my own failings in this area. Which is why my two and a half hours, I am committed personally to make that never true.Not even one second all day long, every day with my own walk through life, whether I'm talking to Joy, my angel, holy being of a wife or a prospect or a clerk at the store, I am love pouring over your soul like warm sunshine to create a miracle in this moment. And I don't run around saying that. I said it to you because that's the. The filter or the requirement I put on myself because I choose to. I am that.And that way. The experience of someone with me is that way. And I'm not running around saying, yay me.I'm sharing it with you because that's what it took for me to get to the place where my being is completely congruent with what I teach and how I coach and the books that I've written and everything. So I also have met so many people that are afraid. Afraid they cannot become afraid that they aren't able to do that.And I'm here to tell you right this second that is not true. It is never true. And I'm talking to you individually.You are a divine being, and you have the capability to create anything you want, including that being in yourself. Okay? Sometimes it is fear that makes us hide. Sometimes it is imagining that we're trying to be humble. Humility is a. Is a coat of fear sometimes.And again, I don't say bragging. There's just a difference. And you know what I'm talking about. I don't even need to explain it, okay?Some people hide behind competence because the truth of the story requires exposure. Competence might become a hiding place if you're afraid of being known, of being seen. Man, that was me.I was so afraid of people knowing all my failings and faults and afraid said all the time, if people really knew me, they'd hate me. If people really knew me, they wouldn't want to be around me. If people really knew me, they wouldn't follow me. And you know what?There were things in my personal life that made that fear real. So if that's true, then I either have to hide or I have to change.Because if there's things that I do or think or say that you know, might cause that, then I either have to hide them or I have to change them. I elected to change those because I wanted to be transparent and truthful.So again, one of my own sentences for me, this is not for you is I am my word. I speak only truth. I do what I say. I am who I seem, with no camouflage, duplicity, or guile. I didn't write that sentence for anybody else.It's mine, and I review it every single morning because I put everything through that lens. And so the being is becoming is not. Is. Is way more important. Doing excellent work is not an excuse to bury your own personal message.Your results might prove you can do a thing and help. Your story helps people understand why they should trust you. You know that thing you just feel. Yeah, that one I trust. That one I don't.If you hide your human, the story of your becoming becoming, you weaken your authority. You do. Now, after all this, you might say, well, how do I tap into that authority? Well, I'll tell you.After and as after and as or as and after I learned to tap in to story, which isn't just the story, it's the truth of becoming, I realized that that is the most powerful thing I have to offer and that you do too. So then I created the book challenge.I created the book Challenge because every person that I have met who says in their heart or out loud, I want to help people, I want to give back. I want to. And that's lots of them. And maybe I just travel in those circles, but there are so many that say that.I always ask them, have you written the story of your becoming? Sometimes they say yes. Sometimes they say, well, I wrote a book, but I don't think it was quite that.Then we get to talk about what that would mean and how that would help with their own power, confidence, transmission, their own business and practice and whatever it is that they have to offer. After I'd done that a lot individually, I realized that this is a really needed service.And so I built a thing that helps you do that if you want to come. It's called dreamitbuilditrideit.com right there. Dream build. Write it. I Left. It's out. Dream BuildWrite it.com Dream BuildWright it.com on the screen.It helps you uncover the story behind your skill. It's for people. It's for you. If you know I'm good at what I do, I have lived something real. There's a deeper message here. I need to make it useful.If those things are in your heart, then you need to turn it into a book, into lived and documented authority and impact. So here's your invitation. Go to dream buildwriteit.com dream buildwrightit.com on the screen, register for the September 14th through 18th challenge.And it's. I'm not charging money for that. But don't just register, show up live. The transformations in the room, it only happens when you come and you show up.So here's the truth. Your skill matters. No matter what. Your skill matters. And I'm in awe of the skill that you've taken the effort to develop. But you're the becoming.Your story of your becoming or your becoming itself, you. That's the authority. And I invite you to bring it forward.I promise my own experience and with many clients, learning to do that is the most strategic and powerful gift that you have. You can make the most money, help the most people, and have the most fun.And if you know, I don't know what else is more powerful in helping me, you, any of us. Create yes, your ultimate life.Open your heart in this time around, right here, right now, your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.If you want want to know more, go to kellenfluermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. YourUltimate Life CA Subscribe Share. It.