“Insight Is the New Sedation” — The Dangerous Lie Keeping Coaches Stuck

Coaching in the rise of AI AI is creating articulate avoidance. Are you infected? Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living the dream? It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. Welcome to your ultimate life. The podcast that I love doing.Now in my seventh year of doing this, and we're way into episode 1100 and something. I'm excited. This is one of the coaching episodes and I've done a number of these.Interviewing two coaches at a time, talking about their use of AI whether or not you're using it as a coach and how and what the possibilities are and the problems, the good stuff and the bad stuff. A lot of repeated themes. You know, that AI can't be human. And of course it can't. It can mimic powerful language.It's great at reflecting, does amazing research and writes really well. And that list of possibilities for AI can be terrifying because most coaches have not been powerful. That's evidenced.And you can argue about yourself, about how powerful you are. If you're not making at least a hundred thousand, I would argue $150,000 u. S. You're not a powerful coach.You can get mad at me if you want, but that's the truth.Because the service you provide, helping people maximize their gifts and talents, truly get out of their way and all the language we use and maximize their. Their, you know, what they're doing in the world, their money, their business, their growth, their happiness.If you're not providing that service, then that's why you're not being hired. That's why you're not making money.You cannot articulate what you do, and you're not providing that because if you were a buck and a half under 50,000 is not a high threshold. Unless you don't want to make that much money. But 99% of the coaches I talk to talk about, I need more clients.My rates are wrong, and I'm not, you know, making enough money barely. I'm thinking about whether or not I ought to stay in the business. That's super sad. Coaching is more needed now than ever. Hear me?More needed now than ever. Here's the reason. Look at society. We have such social unrest.Not just I live in Canada, but not just in the US And Canada and North America, but all over the world. It manifests in different ways. Hostility, anger, wars, blaming, struggle, entitlement, and on and on and on.And we as coaches are uniquely and powerfully positioned to help people claim their true sovereignty, own who they are, get out of their own way, be their best selves, realize they honestly have nothing to prove, really nothing to prove and everything to give. That's what we're about.And all the different methods or tools that we use, this framework or that or so and so's method or mind shifting or hypnosis or yo mama, they're all good. But you know what's missing? Embodiment being the truth.The coaches I meet, 99% of them, there are a few exceptions and you can feel it in one paragraph, in two minutes, one minute with them. They're not that. They're not living the truth. They teach and consequently they don't have power. So this is a Thursday episode.We're talking about AI and what I said in the opener was articulate of avoidance. And here's what I mean by that. Look, AI. You can get coached by AI.In fact, most people who care about personal development are using AI and even getting great results.I the one of the interesting things that happened when I wrote the book Coaching and the Rise of AI and if you don't have that book, you are missing the most important resource about coaching and AI. You're missing it. And you need to get this. There's nothing out there like it that deals with AI specifically and coaching.And I propose a new model in there that is absolutely AI proof and that is according to AI analysis. I did an analysis of a whole bunch of coaching methods that are popular and talked about here in the world today and in the last 10 or 15 years.And AI did a great analysis of it. How good they are at what they do, why they're good, what their vulnerabilities are and what AI is going to take away from them.And then I proposed a new model that capitalizes on the things that AI cannot do. So you can use AI powerfully and at the same time be completely an awesome coach and get paid 150k. That's where you ought to be.As a minimum in the book, I'm saying, coaches, you're going to be out of business by Christmas of 26, which is just eight months away. And by you won't be able to make a living is what I actually said. I mean, 100k, 100k US can't make that. You're not making a living.Now I realize there are places in the US and Canada where you can get by on 60k and maybe if you have a partner and they're working and making 60, 70, 80 together, you're doing okay.But I defined arbitrarily as 100k US dollars, even though I'm in Canada as making a living, because that's about what it takes and more than that in some places. But it's not difficult to make that money if you're providing the value. So what do I mean by articulate avoidance when you go to AI?What are the things? I'm sure you've noticed right away is it's really good with language, large language model, that's what they are, right?And it's trained, it's trained to be supportive, to be nice, to be encouraging. And in fact, if you want it to be more direct with you and drop the fluff, you have to tell it to drop the fluff. Drop the fluff, drop the fluff.And you have to tell it repeatedly because it's programmed to do that. It's programmed not to piss us off or hurt our feelings or that kind of thing.And it isn't about hurt feelings, but it's about truth and about recognizing patterns, avoidance and story in a way that allows you or me or clients that we have to get the value from coaching.I want you to always think about sports or music coaching or drama coaching, the director of a movie or a voice coach or you know those people, they watch objectively from the side so they can see what possibilities are for growth. There's a. You not YouTube. There's. Well, it's YouTube. There's a TED Talk called Everyone needs a Coach.If you haven't watched that, put it on YouTube and watch it. It's a surgeon that talks about coaching and that there are two models of growth in the world today.One is you go to a whole bunch of schooling like medical doctors do because he's a surgeon and you know, best specialization and internship and 3, 4, 5, 6, 10 years before you're like done.And I have a friend here in, in this town that I know, he's in the same congregation at church as I am and I've talked to him about what it took to get to be where he is. And he's a very well regarded surgeon and he said, you know, 10 years, so there's lots of that.That's one way to learn things, do all that training and then you're done. And any other training comes, you know, with credits that you take classes and then ogt on the job training and experience.The other model is one like we do in sports or music or now personal development but it's where you have a coach who's constantly with you. And that is your stressor to coach, to learn, to grow, to have someone observe you.And he decided on his own to try that, even though he was raised as a, as a doctor in the other model. And his TED talk is about how powerful that was for him, how life changing. He was wondering, you know, shouldn't we all be doing this?And hence the title of the talk. Everyone needs a coach. So here's, here's the question for you. Are you in a coaching container? If you're not, you're not serious about growth, period.If you do not have a coach for whatever it is you're trying to grow, you're not serious about the fastest growth. You're choosing intentionally to do it the long slow way. You're free to choose that. There's no judgment here. You're free absolutely to do that.But if you're frustrated or complaining or wondering why it isn't moving as quickly as you want, why growth, change, expansion, whether it's financial or business or personally or your personal development or anything that's not moving as quick as you want, that's the reason. And if you have a coach and it's still not, then you haven't. You have the wrong coach. That's as simple as that.So you got to find one that is able to do that. Now here, here's how you do that. A coach that is going to help you really has to be the truth that they teach.If they're stuck in their own story, they can't help you not be stuck in yours. If they're getting in their own way, they can't help you not get in your way. They have to be past that. The embodiment.You can't have a batting coach in baseball that isn't well skilled, right. You can't have a vocal coach. I've had a Vocal coach for 10 years more. You can't have a vocal. You can't have one that's not better than you are.That if it's going to be progress because I've got to see and understand the differences. Not touching my throat because the vocal. Right. So here's what AI has done. It's given us the language to pretend that we're there.It's given us cool language because it does that all the time. I use it every day a lot to write, to formulate. I've got a book challenge next week that's this dream build. Write it right here.Dream build, write It.If you've ever, ever wanted to turn your life experience into a book, into programs, and ultimately into a $100,000 asset, that is the only place to go. It's the best place in the world to do that. But you won't know unless you go see.So we've entered a dangerous new phase here in coaching, because now you can explain yourself better and still be completely stuck. You can name the wound or the problem. You can describe the trigger, articulate the pattern. Right?And quote a framework and say all the right words and as if you're a coach. You know this. You've had people that come and say all the right stuff and nothing happens. You know why?Well, AI is giving us tools to do that explanation better than we ever could. Some people were already good at it. But here's the truth. Self awareness is not transformation.Explanation is not embodiment just because we can name that. That's just the beginning of movement. Understanding something is not true ownership. Language itself is not change.Applied language so you can speak fluent, healing and live broken. I want you to think about that. You can explain the patterns that you've got and still obey them, follow them.You can sound awake, completely like awake, and still be asleep in your life. And AI has given us the ability to do that in a terrifyingly better way than we ever could, which is just more excuses.So insight is the new hiding place. I want you to think about that. More books, more programs, more stuff, more meditation routines. Insight. Insight.I had all these insight people used to hide in confusion. I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I don't know what my purpose is, you know, on and on and on. Insight is the heart of the problem.Inside itself is just the beginning. Instead of hiding in confusion, now we hide in explanation.While we've said all these right words, we used to say stuff like, well, I don't know what's wrong. I don't understand why I do this. I'm just overwhelmed. Right. Well, the new avoidance sounds like this. Well, I've identified this pattern.I know this comes from these events in the past, childhood or whatever. This is my nervous system response. I can't tell you how many thousand times I've heard the new phrase regulate the nervous system.Regulate the nervous system. Like that's the holy grail of everything. It's important.Then my question is, are you doing on a regular and consistent basis the things that you've learned about that so that it is regulated and you're focused and capable? I'm processing something deep. Processing regulation, trauma adaptation, liminal identity reorganization.You know all these cool new words popping out of AI, right? Organization. I mean, vagal, polyvagal, wingilis. Those are nice words and I'm not saying any of them are wrong.Maybe you are having a liminal identity reorganization, right? That's hysterical.The question is, and all of it may be exactly right, but if the language is more sophisticated and your life stays the same and you're lost in a processing something deep for a long time, the language is simply camouflage. And that might make you mad or hurt your feelings, but it's true. And I'd like you to consider that. I'll go back to what I said. If.If you're serious about growth and you don't have a coach, you're fooling yourself. I don't care who you use, but it has to be someone who embodies the truth of what you're trying to improve on.And it has to be obvious they have that they own. That explanation is just a bunker, a place to hide. And insight is the new sedation. I got new insight, read a new thing, went to a new thing.Ooh, I got to go practice this. Wingy. If it's not causing the change that you're talking about, it's not working.And so what we're doing, we have this new tool and it's producing awesome language. I love it. And. But we're using sophisticated language to avoid dangerous action. Now, when I say dangerous, I'm not talking about dangerous. Maybe I am.Depends on what you're doing, right? Dangerous. Dangerous. Emotionally dangerous because it takes courage. Dangerous because what you're trying to do is climb mountains.Physically or emotionally, those things can feel dangerous. So where are you sounding evolved but living unchanged without growth? Where has insight become your excuse? Do you know?Are you talking this over with a coach? That's further along the path, obviously, because every time you talk to him, you can feel that power. AI can help you in good ways and I love it.So I'm not dissing it. I'm saying it's become a sedation. It will help you identify a pattern, name a wound.It will reflect what you say back to it in really good language and make you feel good about it. I know because I've done that a thousand times and it says stuff back to me and sometimes it hits me emotionally.Then I'll ask, why am I feeling emotional? What's going on here? And it will say something about reflection and truth and everything, and it makes me feel good.And seen and heard, and that's wonderful. So don't get me wrong.And if it doesn't create the change needed to get past the pattern, to complete the reorganization, to move forward and the barrier is melted and moved, and your superpower isn't mobilized. It isn't doing what you want, okay? It will frame your story. It will summarize your emotional, you know, dynamics.It'll give you language that you never had before. And that feels good. Okay? I'm saying that because I've done it, and it does it.And as I've been writing the last several books, I use AI as a thinking partner to, you know, to refine language and to bash ideas around. But I come away every time realizing I have to do this because I don't care how good it sounds. I have to take the action. Okay?All those things are wonderful. And here's the danger. Because when you hear all that, it can sound like you've done the deep work. And you haven't. You've talked about the deep work.It's easy to talk about something. It's like that thing over there. We're talking about that. Are you embodying the change now? Embody is just a word. It's a cliche word. I get that.I don't know. Give me another word that's better. It means, are you the actual representation, energetically, in your spirit and your body of that change?So even if you've got the right language and the right distinctions and understand the psychology and the ontology of your words and all those other beautiful things in the right spiritual language, and it moves you, and it all can be done at a level that is not fundamental. Now, let's talk about the good things for AI for a minute. It can speed up your pattern awareness.It has for me, but it cannot create the decision for you to confront reality, even though you've comfortably described it.And there's some real comfort in that, because if you have language, sometimes for the first time, to say something that you've never said before or never quite that way, never in a way that just landed on you, that's really helpful. But it's only step one, because it doesn't change it by itself. It gives you a place to start. Okay?It'll help you describe your fire, but it can't make you walk through it. It'll clarify our patterns, and it has done that for me. But it doesn't break our attachment to the pattern. See, that's the personal work.It'll help you NARRATE your life, your problems and your struggles, but it can't help you choose a different one. And only a coach or coaching function, whatever that has walked that road, can help you with that.The critical step, which is actually the only one that matters. So I'll say it again, the risk of repetition and making you mad.If you're trying for the most rapid growth and acceleration and you don't have a coach who's walked the road and is already on the other side, you're doing it the hard way and you're going to take forever.If you want time, compression, where you can do 10 years, work in one year, where you can do 30 years, work in three years, really, you really can do that? I've done it. I know. And so I'm speaking again from embodied experience. That's the past, the process, that's the path.So I invite you to think about it because it's not just a helpful, reflective partner and it can be an interpreter, a challenger. It'll mirror with teeth and disrupt you and so forth as it reflects this back. But it isn't the, the energy that causes the change.So when you say, I recognize this pattern, I know it came from childhood, then a real coach will say, fine, what are you going to do differently today?What is the action that reflects that awareness and then works with you to create action and accountability that reflects that new and massive and marvelous insight.If you're thinking, now I understand finally my trauma response, okay, now that you understand it, are you using that truth for liberation and growth or for permission to say the stay the same because it really feels good to finally put language to stuff? Okay? And if someone says, and I hear this all the time, I've done so much, I've spent so much work on myself.I spent 20 years, 10 years, 5 years, fill in your number. Working on myself, doing deep work. Okay, then why does your life still look like this?Why like I believe you, you've done 1, 7, 5, 20 years of deep work on yourself. Why does your life still look unsatisfied, unfulfilled? Why are you still yearning? Why are you still self doubting?Because this 20 years hasn't done what it needed to do. So I want you to take that in. And I'm not discouraging the use of AI.I want you to understand what it is and what it isn't and use this as understanding that it is worth your time to get the right coach and to go all in. And here's why. You're a divine being. I Need your message. The world needs your message.We need people that are doing this work and succeeding, coming out the other side, winning, not just perpetually on the hamster wheel of doing the work. Now I realize it's a mountain without a top and nobody gets to the summit, at least not in this frame. So I'm not pretending that.But I have coaches and I pick only those that are further than I am. And I can see it and feel it by their life. I don't need their claims or their credentials or anything else.When I'm with them, I know they've got this and they can show me how to got this. So that's what I want you to think about. Okay, so your clients don't need better explanations. And if they do, that's quickly achieved.They need interruption. They need to end. End the solace of the explanation and begin the work of the transformation.What about a loving refusal to let awareness masquerade as change? Awareness is the gate to the field of trial, the battlefield of growth.And anybody that tells you you can make the change in an instance full of crap, you can have an insight in an instant. And if you don't put the structures and behaviors in place so that the insight becomes reality, it doesn't mean a thing.And you know that by the number of people that are perpetually stuck in self improvement. And we all should be, you know, developing ourselves, our gifts, our talents and everything to the best of our ability.But I mean, stuck by saying, I'm still working on, I've been at this for a year, five years, 20 years, and, and if they tell the truth and I'm still feeling not good enough, I'm still feeling afraid. I'm still not making the money I want, I'm still not producing the cash, that just means you're not adding value in a way that anybody recognizes.And if you're now supremely happy and that's all you wanted, then you're done.I'm far from me to tell you what that should look like for you, but if you're sitting there with that yearning, knowing there's more, then don't you know, you know this is a sign that you've become too impressed with self awareness. So let's talk for a minute about what transformation actually requires. Okay. What does transformation actually require? So ask yourself this.Do your clients leave your sessions with more clarity or more courage? Are you helping people feel understood or helping them move because of that understanding? I challenge you. Now, here's a couple of invitations.This podcast, this Thursday episode is for coaches, and it's about coaching in the rise of AI. I wrote that book because I saw that AI was decimating coaching and would put coaches out of business by Christmas. And that's only eight months away.And pretty soon it'll be in the rearview mirror and I'll see that I was right. 95% Of coaches won't be able to make a living.100K us, and you ought to be at at least a buck and a half if you're valuable and your life is perfect and valuable. There's no question. How about your coaching skill? And that isn't questions and frameworks and cool anything. It is embodied truth.Do you leak the truth of what you speak? It's as simple as that, and it's as hard as that because that's the growth edge.So let's talk about what this kind of transformation actually requires. Here's what comes after insight. And so the insight phase used to be where coaching was shining and it was great.And then people are supposed to go do something with that insight. AI can now give you that insight in, you know, a week of repeated conversations, sometimes a day, sometimes one or two convos.Depends on how honest and vulnerable you are as you talk to it. It can give you those insights.Okay, but transformation, which is I am now a different person and I can evidence it by what I choose, what I do, how I talk, how I walk, the energy that I give up. People say, wow, what happened? It's that powerful and profound after the inside. It takes some decisions. Bulletproof, no, no deviation decisions.It might take some grief for the loss of old story. It's certainly going to push you out of your comfort zone. So there's going to be some discomfort in that phrase.Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's exactly right. It's going to involve repetition, repetition, repeated things over and over again. We get good at the things we repeatedly do.Ask anybody that's learned to play guitar or piano or act on stage or anything. You get good at what you repeatedly do. It requires ownership, which means I no longer blame others or circumstance.I create my life, you create yours. And if you say, yeah, but after that, then you're not there yet, and that's okay. But that is a growth edge for you.The minute you fully and completely own your life and say, I do create it, and I'm going to do it different now because I said so, all right? After the decision. It requires exposure. Exposure to difficult things, uncomfortable situations, choices, even if they're 1% at a time.I'm not saying you have to do 100% a day. Every change is gradual. Look at how plants grow. And Grand Canyon got carved over so many, you know, zillions of years.Growth is gradual, change is incremental. Sometimes larger increments and sometimes smaller ones. But every repetition creates the foundation for strength.Now here's what I want you to realize. I'm going to give you some invitations right now and then we're going to come back to this.If you are a coach and you want to be interviewed here about coaching, coaching in the rise of AI, then I want you to get a hold of me. YourUltimate LifePodcast.com your ultimate LifePodcast.com there's a contact form there. And put on the title thing. Coaching episode.I'd love to interview you about your coaching practice. AI, how you use it, how you don't use it, what the possibilities and pitfalls are. So that's the invitation. If you just want to.Not coaching, but you want to tell the story of your own transformation. I want that too. That's a Tuesday episode. I want to hear how you've changed, how you're adding good to the world.Okay, if you have, if you want to tell your story and create that hundred thousand dollar platform. Dream Buildwright it.com Go there. Dream Buildwright it.com Two times, sometimes three times a year, I hold a book challenge.And here's the cool thing. It isn't about writing a book. That's just the beginning. It isn't about selling books. That's just the beginning.It's about creating a platform that will repeatedly generate you a hundred thousand dollars over and over again. Why? Because it's powerful and because it's true. And because what you have to share is that valuable.So those are some invitations for you if you want them. If you want to know what else we're up to, Kellenflukermedia.com will give you a list there.So after ownership, that moves us into long term sustainable behavioral change where we simply do things different because we've become a different person. Okay, let me give you an example. I used to cuss badly, swear everything. Just swear a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot.I don't know why I may have had a story that it sounded cool or dangerous or whatever. I decided I didn't want to be that person. So I became aware of it. I quit doing it. Now I don't.And it isn't because I fight with my language all the time. I have become A person who doesn't swear. I used to drink like crazy, blackout drunk because I didn't like how I felt.Depression, a bunch of other reasons. Now I could fight, you know, with the urge to drink. And if you've done 12 step stuff, you know what that's like. Every day I gotta one more sober day.What I've done now over time is I have become a non drinker. I'm simply someone who doesn't drink. So I don't think about it. I'm not called to it, I don't feel like it.I don't feel any urge or in any circumstance. I don't care if everybody else is doing whatever, doesn't matter. I don't drink. I am a non drinker. So becoming is the key.That is identity level truth. Okay, so I want to get a couple of things and contrast these differences one more time. This could be done.This used to be really powerful in coaching and now it's done quickly with AI and that's good because that means we can move further, faster with ourselves and with clients. So a client needs to understand why they sabotage, why they avoid intimacy, why they undercharge, why they stay small, why they doubt themselves.We all have to understand that if we're going to grow sometimes that used to take a long time. Days, weeks, months. Right now that can be done quickly. But understanding why you're that way is just the beginning. Inside is now the doorway.That's it. It was always the doorway. But sometimes it took a long time to get there. Now you can get there quickly. Action is crossing the threshold.Embodiment is the proof. The small examples I just gave you. I'm a non drinker. I just don't, I don't use drugs anymore. I used to have terrible problems, addiction, etc. Etc.It's not even on the radar. Why I don't. I'm not that person. Twas I. Tis not. I quote Shakespeare. Right? The real work starts when the explanation stops. Ooh.That's where the work is. The work is just here to get to the explanation. The action beyond that is what matters.Okay, if there's no behavioral cost and there's probably no real transformation, transformation has to cost us something in our behaviors. Now I'm not saying it always has to be painful. Maybe the glory and excitement of it is, is fabulous repayment, or maybe it's a struggle for a bit.But the goal isn't to just change what we do, is to change who we are. And that's why I said if As a coach, you are not already the changed person.You can't take someone there because all you're doing is talking about the change and what cool might. Coolness might be over there, past it. You, I, we as coaches need to be the embodiment of the change.That's why I created the school of transformational coaching. It starts where all the rest of the methods end.So if you want to understand what that is and you're ready to move into the power of real, embodied coaching, where you are so powerful that people can feel what you are and what you have before you say anything. Enrollment is like breathing. Why? Because you've got the energy of truth again. Your ultimate lifepodcast.com contact form reach out to me.So here's what I want you to do. Becoming. I want you to hear this, so I'm gonna say it. Slow becoming is not just understanding yourself better.It's living differently because you've become a different person. And that is a structural, architectural change that you and only you have control over. So let that land because you create your life. So do I.So do we all. We can make excuses, and all that does is the excuses, then create our lives. And you and I were free to let that stay true.Or we're free to take the helm and create the life we want, become the embodiment we talk about, and then land in the world of coaches that have that power and energy. And I know you know some. And sometimes I'm sure you are that. Are you at every day, every conversation on demand. If not, why not? Why? Why?If you've done this work so much and so powerfully, why are you not that yet? Because you can be. And you could have it now.So AI is making you, me, potential clients, way more articulate, way more access to the description and the language of change. And that's not bad. That's good. In fact, it compresses time. It's dangerous when that. When we confuse that beautiful explanation with change.Understanding does not create change. Understanding creates understanding.The future coach has to hear the difference intuitively and instantly between insight and performance, between avoidance, even if it's couched in beautiful explanation and true embodiment. So I challenge you. I challenge you because I love you. I challenge you because coaches are needed.I challenge you because I want you to have everything you want. This podcast is titled, after all, your ultimate life. How to create a life of purpose, prosperity and joy by serving with your gifts and talents.So here's a challenge. If you feel impressed every time a client names, a pattern. You're way too easy to fool.If you think self awareness, I want you to hear this and you know, slow down. If you think self awareness is the finish line, you're coaching way beneath the opportunity. You're coaching way beneath the moment.You're better than that, and people need more than that. If you can't challenge articulate avoidance, then you're helping people stay stuck. Clients today, especially with AI, don't need more words.They need more truth. Embodied, bulletproof, energetic truth. They need more courage to act on the things that they have articulated so well.They need someone who won't let the explanation become an alibi. And we as coaches can only do that if we are the embodied change we are trying to help them see because that energy draws them forward.In this age of AI, one of the most valuable things a coach can do is refuse to let insight pretend to be transformation. I love you. I trust you as a coach. You're a divine being.I don't know where you are in your journey on that spectrum, but if you're not making all the money you want to as a coach, then you're not very far. And that might sound harsh, but it's true. And the way to make progress faster is to hold yourself to the standard of embodiment, not insight.If I can help you YourUltimateLifePodcast.com the contact form if you are a coach and you Want to talk YourUltimateLifePodcast.com the contact form Love you and I know if you choose it, you can move forward and live your ultimate life. Right here, right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. If you want to know more or go to kellenfluekegermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. YourUltimate Life ca Subscribe Share.