No Permission. No Agreement. No More Outsourcing Your Becoming.

Kellan Fluckiger

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Some of you have been waiting for years for somebody to say you can begin a parent, a spouse, a friend, people on the internet. But what if they never agree? Are you really willing to hand them the rest of your life? Listen carefully to some good thoughts here and stop treating disapproval as a veto. Welcome to the show.

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Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power.

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your ultimate life. The show that's just here to help you live the life of purpose, prosperity and joy. The best life you can possibly live, where you love every single flippin day. You have the idea, the book, the business, the movie, the conversation, the music, the new way you want to live. Then the committee convenes and the kibitzing from here and the naysayers from there. And what will they think?

01:20

And will my family understand? What if somebody calls me arrogant? What if they say I'm wasting my time? What if I look stupid? What if I fall on my face? What if they don't like what I believe? Somebody knows somebody sometimes nobody's even said a word or spoken, but you've staged this whole play yourself the objections and you've rehearsed all the arguments, the naysayers and the negativity.

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And then, you know, of course you've lost the imaginary debate and you've handed them the verdict, the scroll that says no. And you've gone home, whooped, defeated, blasted, boom, mud on your face. Right. From a meeting that never even occurred. Now, Witot, W-I-T-O-T, Witot, that's an acronym you ought to write down.

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created that you know when that was beginning a COVID beginning a COVID I don't know about you but when that happened I had that Johns Hopkins tab on my computer open all the time that was how many people were dying in the world and I don't know if it was accurate or not but it was interesting and all the countries and everything else anyway I created a word Witaut and I used to say and I still do Witaut fungus will

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kill more people than COVID ever did. I know that's kind of morbid. And then of course, everybody would say, what is we're taught? And I would say, what I think others think. I call it like government by ghosts, an unelected parliament with a veto over a life. doesn't even have to live. So you can spend your whole life waiting for that permission slip. No one has the authority to sign.

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Now I want you to think about that for a minute. What a terrifying thought. I don't know about you, but I had particular people in my life and maybe you do too. But I just assumed they were right. I just assumed whatever they said was true. Somehow I had granted them authority. Parents, family, church, community, school, certain teachers, friends, popularity.

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They just had authority to write the script of your life. And that's a terrifying thing, especially when you don't know you're doing it. Now, as you're a kid, when you're a kid, you really want to fit in. remember in grade school, for whatever reason, I know why, in the summertime, all of grade school, I think, and then sometimes later, right after school got out, we would jump on a train or get in the car and we'd go to my uncle's.

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a dairy farm in Wyoming. And we'd spend, you know, six, eight, ten weeks there. I used to think it was the whole summer, but sometimes we came back in July and then I had another summer, two summers every summer. Right. But anyway, I helped milk cows and haul hay and, you know, mend fences and just do chores, farm stuff for the summer or a lot of the summer. And it did a couple of things. You know, I got pretty strong and that was nice.

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But I wore jeans to school and that sounds like what only in those days you didn't wear jeans. That was not cool. And on top of that, I had jeans with patches because we didn't buy new ones. My mom would sew patches on them to cover holes, right? So and then I also wore boots like hiking boots. And so I got the nickname Country Cow. Country Cow.

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And I remember that following me around from grade to grade in grade school. And it hurt my feelings and it made me, you know, last to be picked. And on top of that, even though I developed a little strength, I was really a late bloomer. was slow. I was not, you know, I didn't have a lot of quick twitch muscles. So I was slow in the 50 yard dash and got picked last for all that stuff. So I had this whole chorus of wit taught. And I'll bet, as I said all that, you think of all the reasons that was true for you, too.

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Now, somewhere there were kids that were the popular kids. But most people that I talked to, it wasn't them. They have more resonance with me. But anyway, here's the thing. There's a need that we all have underneath the fear. And it's the need to belong. It's real and it's powerful. That community were made for relationship when we lived in tribes and in small groups.

06:13

It was necessary for survival. It's critical. You got outside the protected area. You know, think of the fort built a fort. And when settlers moved west or whatever, natives lived in tribes, groups, and they had the circle of T.P.s and that sort of thing. So the need is to belong. We belong in families. We belong in groups who are made for relationship, for love, for community, family and all that stuff.

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So we don't we don't mock. This is not about mocking the need for that partnership and affections, not about that. But some of us, most of us, quite frankly, learned way early that being approved meant safety. Right. Being disapproved meant maybe for you, but certainly for me, punishment, rejection, silence, ridicule, loss of belonging.

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Like I said, I experienced that through all of my elementary school years. And, you know, that's only what you want to three, four, five, six, six years. But it seems like an eternity at the time, and it formulates a lot, and that continued in junior high and high school. And the lessons that we learned don't just evaporate as we get older. So. You can grow up, go to school and get a doctorate and have a successful degree.

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a career, have money and a beautiful family and still become a frightened child when one particular person raises an eyebrow. I have a client told me a story when he was a kid. had an uncle that painted a wooden threshold in his house. And, you know, don't stand on that. was first it was wet paint and then it was you'll mess it up and everything else. So.

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You know, he learned to step over it. Now he's grown adult and decades, decades have gone by. And that uncle is at death's door, like really old. And yet my client still steps over that threshold from that learning. Now, that's a physical thing. But how many emotional places are you unafraid? Are you afraid? Are you afraid to go because somebody is not going to approve?

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That takes all kinds of forms. Sometimes it's we're going to earn more money than our parents. Oh, I was afraid to earn more money than my dad or my mom or break out of the family mold. We're all blue collar. And if I got, you know, you've heard the story. So let's have some compassion. There's a reason that that voice or that committee of voices is loud because it starts early and it's equated with protection. All right. So that's why it's there. And it's not

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wrong, it starts with a good reason for protection. But then that's the reason the voice is so loud. But here's the cost. The strategy that once preserved belonging and safety. Eventually prevents becoming. Hear that again, this strategy, approval and, know, that that's a voice that.

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preserved belonging will prevent your becoming. So the question, let's not go to the place of why am I a weakling, right? It's not about that because it's a strong voice. The more important question, I want you to answer this. Who am I allowing to decide what is mine to decide? Now, when we're two years old, we don't get to cross the street recklessly.

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or five or seven or, you know, we don't allow a two year old or a seven year old or something to decide all their own nutrition because they'll eat candy bar and cake. But when we get a little older, we we we get the right to decide and then rebellious team. But when we grow up and we're on our own and we're just we're responsible to provide for ourselves, we often don't do that. We provide physically, but we are locked in these structures.

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and we allow those same voices to decide.

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what we want, what we're allowed to chase, what risks we're willing to take, what we're allowed to become, what's good and not good to pursue. So let's think of it this way. It's right and good to honor the strategy that gave you the safety and belonging and protection. But you don't have to give it a lifetime contract.

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Okay, everything, almost everything that we experience has a shelf life. Think about it this way. If you get really excited, you've been to events, you go to an event and there's a powerful speaker or maybe it's two or three days and it's really powerful. Maybe there's loud music, maybe there's great speakers and you get all excited and you go home and then it's Tuesday morning and bills and email and whatever. How long does that excitement last? Well,

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Excitement, like every other emotion, has a shelf life and it has a pretty steep decline curve.

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The usefulness of all those strategies also have a shelf life. But because they're hidden in us, they're written deeply in our subconscious, we don't think about it. And so they just tend to last and last and last. And they keep lasting and controlling decisions until we pull them into the light and we say, wow, I'm being controlled by the preferences of my aunt.

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or uncle or grandma or parent or church or school or that fourth grade teacher or whatever. Right. So I don't know about you, but I can think of several things in my life that kept me from doing what I wanted to do because of old stories about whether or not they were good, valuable, appropriate, etc. And so I want you to think about this. Council

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agreement and approval are three completely different things. That's three ways these voices in us can operate.

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and approval are different. Agreement is different. So let's talk about these three. Let's talk about these three different things because they're actually important. Council agreement approval. All right. And they're completely different. They serve different functions and have different authority. Council. Advice it's somebody has some experience or knowledge or evidence or a perspective that could improve your decision. Listen.

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Sometimes they're right. Now that council can come from a book. It can come from a workshop. can come from a friend or a colleague or a parent or anyone. Council can be everywhere. In fact, I seek it. have a I have a phrase that I use for my daily preparation. Now, those of you that follow know I have a lengthy two hour plus ritual that I use for preparation. And one of them, one of the phrases is I seek coaching.

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counseling coaching from each person in my path, regardless of their standing stature or status. And I define those words as rich or poor, old or young, famous or unknown. So the point of that phrase is to realize that every person, including you, whether they're kids or adults or wealthy or poor or whatever, they have coaching for me. They have ideas that can be beneficial.

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And not every one of them every time, but it's to remind me that that kind of stuff can come from anywhere. So counsel is experience and everybody's is completely different. Knowledge and everybody's is completely different. Evidence and perspective that could well improve my decision. So there's about five or six email lists that I'm on. I'm on more lists than that. Some of them are advertising or whatever.

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But intentionally, five or six cultivated email lists that I'm on because I have found over time that this group of people send out emails that really fit into that category. I read sacred literature, scriptures and things because that fits in that category. So I'm seeking that counsel and wisdom that's going to help me. And I seek it every day, not once in a while. So the second piece after counsel is an agreement. Now,

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If your decision, something you want to do, affects shared money or shared responsibility or some legal obligation or your kids or your employees or promises, then those are those people are all stakeholders and they have a legitimate say. Sovereignty doesn't mean we pretend away commitments that we made that somehow they don't exist. That's not OK.

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When we make an agreement or a commitment, we're bound to keep it. We can renegotiate it or we can do whatever. And if we violate it, then we can expect there's consequences, sometimes in money, sometimes in friendship, sometimes in relationship, sometimes in feelings in our own heart, guilt, right? That kind of stuff. So counsel is one thing. Agreement is if if I'm going to do something that affects money or obligations or business agreements or responsibilities.

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or covenants or commitments or legal obligations or my kids because I have a responsibility for them, employees who look to me, know, that kind of thing or promises I've made. Those people are all stakeholders and sovereignty. You know, you see right behind here the sovereign architect. Absolutely. You design and create and build your own life. But it can't be with callous disregard, especially when you've made commitments. So we can't pretend those away and pretend they don't exist.

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The third one is approval.

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And that's often the most insidious. Somebody simply wants you to remain the version that you are right now because they're comfortable with it. That can take all kinds of crazy ways. You can be an addict and there's people that want you to stay there because they like how it works when you're in that mode. Powerless, seeking approval, asking for things, maybe they're enabling, right?

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or someone has an opinion about what's good or bad or what you should or shouldn't do. And so they expect to have approval over that. And I did that for a long time. I dragged values and thoughts from lots of people who had absolutely no business having a say over my adult life. And I handed it over to them. So I want you to think about those three things. One's counsel. We might seek that.

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agreement is considering existing promises or obligations we've got and approval means you know we're seeking someone someone's approval and rarely is that appropriate all of them are completely different so let's say you're going to write a book your spouse or your partner deserves a real honest conversation

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about how the time and money you're going to invest affects the household. An editor deserves to critique the manuscript, if that's what you've agreed. The intended reader deserves something valuable. But your distant cousin who thinks authorship is stupid, they don't get to have a vote. They can have an opinion, but opinion is not jurisdiction.

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And here's the thing, often because of the relationships we have with people, their family, their close, their friends or whatever, they think that their opinion needs to have jurisdiction, veto authority. So you can listen without obeying. You can also disagree without declaring a war. You can change your plan without abandoning the dream. Council might give you something you haven't thought of. And it's like, oh, wow, I need to do it that way. So here's a phrase.

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other people's perspective may improve your architecture, your goal, your plan, your timeline, but they don't automatically own the property. They don't get to own the property. And that includes the real estate in your head. I have a client right now that doesn't talk like this anymore, but he used to describe the committee in his head that was always

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thinking of all the ways it would go wrong and complaining and stuff and held him back for a long time from diving in and doing things that he wanted to do. Because the committee in my head, you know, that was a common phrase in our conversations. So there's another thing I want to talk about and it's called the approval tax. The approval tax on your gifts. Now you, you listening right now.

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You're a beloved divine being and you have gifts and talents. You have life experience. And when you combine your gifts and life experience, you are so unique. You're an absolute unicorn. You're amazing. You're off the charts. You may not be doing anything with it and you may not even believe me, but it's true. So here's here's the way I want you to think about this. Or I'm offering you as a suggestion to think about this. I have the ultimate life university. It's a university I run. And one of the schools is.

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the school of transformational authorship and creation. So in transformational authorship, I see people walk right up to the edge of saying something important and then they back off. What if my sister doesn't like it? What if my church doesn't agree? What if somebody recognizes me? What if people think I'm claiming too much and I'm being too bold? And so

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They've gone through some work and some trans personal transformation and they want and feel to make a declaration in their book and in their material that to them is so important, but they back off. And the reason they back off is because they have a story. The story that someone won't agree. This is back to Wittow. What I think others think I would say fully 90 percent of the time.

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We're making up that story. We haven't actually asked or checked. Not that the even if we did, the answer isn't, you know, a veto. But most of the time, we're making up stuff anyway. Like we imagine this is what they think or say. What if my sister doesn't like it? Well, you don't know that. Did you ask? And like said, even if even if she doesn't, that doesn't decide anything. But this is way before that, like you don't even know.

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Right? Okay. Here's one. And I mentioned it just a second ago, but I want to dive in a lot deeper. Will people think I'm claiming too much? You've lived your life. You've experienced whatever it is you've experienced. From that experience, you know certain things. Often people will, will stand there at the edge of what they know.

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Excuse me, and they're afraid to say it because they're certain people will disagree or contradict. And you know what? I guarantee you they will. But what they can't contradict is that you know a thing. They don't know a thing, but they cannot tell you what you know. You know what that's like? That's like you saying, I love chocolate ice cream.

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and someone else tries to tell you you can't love chocolate ice cream.

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I used a thing like chocolate ice cream, but love can't be measured. It can be witnessed. It manifests in behavior and that sort of thing. But what is the frequency of love? What is the color of loyalty? Someone might say to you, maybe we could make that sentence less strong.

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Boy, have I heard that. Here's another one I hear all the time. Well, maybe I should just flip and leave that whole story out. Somebody's going to think I'm talking about them or somebody's going to know somebody and they're going to tell so and so. And so guess what? The whole process and writing and book or product is way weaker because the powerful thing that you have to offer, you're backing off because you're afraid. We talk what I think others think.

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And here's I had a client, another client several years ago. Who wrote a book and was creating a program, a leadership program from that book, and they had someone read the book. Oh, no, well, you need to think this. So they came and they made all these changes. Then they had somebody else read the book. Oh, no, you need to make all those things. And by the time they got done, it was this mess designed by committee.

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So by the time everybody has been given a veto, the book may have grammar and chapters, but it's got no pulse. DOA. The very truth that gave it a reason to exist has been negotiated away. Now, again, that doesn't mean counsel shouldn't be listened to. OK, people, I have helped people write books, you know that. And so they come to me and they ask. But my answer is always you have the final say.

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Here's what I think. And don't lose your voice. Don't shy away from the truth. And the cost of listening to that and negotiating your truth away isn't just a book that never gets finished. You know what it really is? It's the reader who might have found courage, but that didn't because you watered it down. Or the client who might have found the method.

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but you were worried about being too bold or the child that might have seen a new possibility. The world never gets the gift. And that's the saddest thing I know because the most important thing that you have or that I have is our own personal story, our journey through life. call it the story of your becoming. That's all you've got. Everything else is second tier.

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Now, I happen to be noisy. I wave my arms, I talk loud, I talk quiet, I talk weird. That's me. You're not required to be loud, or weird, or bold.

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But you know what? A quiet, clear sentence can be absolutely sovereign. It can cut through and penetrate.

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And I'm also not saying everything that I think or you think is automatically true. Truth requires examination and courage requires expression. You don't have to be offensive to stop living in fear of giving offense.

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There's a mastermind that I belong to and have for several years. And the leader of that says, you know what, if you haven't got some haters, you haven't said anything. Well, I want you to think about that no matter what experience you have, no matter what conclusions you've drawn, no matter what you offer for help, somebody is going to think it tastes like garbage. It draws the wrong conclusions and it is not useful.

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Mm-hmm. I promise one of the fun things for me when I'm helping people write books create products and that is They say to me. Well, what if you know and I stop them all I say absolutely you're gonna get haters You're gonna get people that say you're crazy to think you're wrong and the disagree and that maybe you know, right mean things on social I unfriend you right? Unless that happens you haven't said anything

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So living in fear of giving offense is not a powerful place to live. And again, I'm not saying run around and be offensive. I'm not saying that. OK, you've seen my other episodes a little while ago, fierce, unapologetic, consistent and kind. And yes, I know what that acronym is. So let's talk about one of those things unapologetic for a sec. So.

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What does being unapologetic actually sound like? Sometimes people get the idea that it means arrogant. Screw everybody. I'm going to say whatever the frick I want. Get out of the way. Well, that's more like, that's not sovereignty. That's like adolescent rebellion in a grownup vocabulary, unless you pepper it with expletives. Right. Dressing up.

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adolescent rebellion with nicer language is still not unapologetic. Instead, I understand your concern, I'll consider it and then do and then come to the conclusion. Not because you're negotiating away your power or your truth, but because you have heard a new thought.

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Okay, another way you can say that is, you know, that may not be the direction you would choose. You acknowledge their thought that may not be the direction you choose, but it is the one I'm choosing. It's the road I choose to go that sovereignty. We live so, so much in the land of, you know, everybody's got to be the same. You see that in our social discourse right now, the whole idea of cancel culture, you know, some group

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canceling another unfriending or marching into a restaurant and screaming in somebody's ear trying to offend them or get them to not you know be in a restaurant or even restaurants having a policy that they won't serve certain people that's that's madness and i'm not saying a restaurant can't can't choose who their customers are but i understand you're concerned and this is the direction i'm going we step over the line when we then go on and say

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You stupid, you know, and then fill the air with the effort to force someone to believe and act as we do. Another thing to say is, you know what? I will honor our shared commitment. So let's discuss discuss the practical impact. For example, I'll give you an example. There was a company. I have a recording studio. You know that I do a lot of music.

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And I buy plugins. Now, everybody that uses software knows what plugins are. They're additional pieces of software. You have them on your browser, right? They call them extensions, I think. Plugins for the studio software. So there was a company that has plugins that I really love. Brainworks. And it's a company in Germany. And I've been buying their plugins for at least 10 years.

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and using them and they're doing a really great job because they have more and more companies that are coming and adding their plugins to the subscription because it's called Plugin Alliance. Plugin Alliance has a huge user base now. And so lots of companies are going, yeah, I want to be on that list because then little lesser known companies get to be part of the big tent. So two years ago, I think that company, Plugin Alliance, decided to

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to sell or to merge to a much larger company also in Germany called Native Instruments. Now, I bought a lot of Native Instruments things too. So they merged and about a year and a half into it, the old owner of Plugin Alliance bought it back. Bought it all back. And in both transactions, when he sold it and when he bought it back because he wasn't happy with customer service and the way it went, it was

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spoiling his brand, I got an email that said, I will honor your subscriptions, whatever you have, it'll be honored right to the end. I need to honor. I will honor our shared commitments. And the new direction is I've sold the company to Native Instruments. I will honor the company. And I bought the company back from Native Instruments to take it in a new direction in both cases. So another way to say that thing is I appreciate the feedback.

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Here's what I'm going to test. I love you. We disagree. Another thing I was wrong about that part. I'm thank you for telling me. Right. No, that is not a commitment I can make. No, I can't agree to that. No is a complete sentence. No arrogance, no anger, no frustration.

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but standing into the truth of your own commitments. You don't need a courtroom speech every time you decide to do something and every time somebody looks disappointed. You don't need to manufacture certainty if evidence is incomplete. Unapologetic goes hand in hand with humility. Unapologetic is simply, I don't owe an apology or an explanation. No permission, no agreement.

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And that is not a stand for breaking commitments, but it is a stand for having sovereign control over your life. Humility allows us to be corrected. Sovereignty allows you to remain the author. So apologize if you cause harm. Apologize if something goes against a commitment. Do not apologize just because you are becoming, just because you've discovered something and you want to try something new.

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This is especially true in the realm of personal development. You know, if I'm going to try a new plug-in in the studio, I don't need to tell anybody. But if you decide to go in a new direction with yourself, you know, you're studying something or you learn something and you're going to do something different. You don't owe an apology to those who think that they're scared of what you might become. So let's talk about a really important decision.

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that you might still be handing away, where you might be abdicating your sovereignty that you don't need permission for. So I want you I want you to think of one choice right now that you keep circling without landing. I have a client right now. And it reminds me of a client several years ago having extreme difficulty picking the direction of the next business effort he was going to create. Wanted to create something, knew what it needed to do.

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wanted to add good to the world, had some ideas about it. But every time it got close to a decision, it was, I don't know, what if I'm doing the wrong thing? I don't know. What if it doesn't work? Circling the decision. Eventually, the plane runs out of fuel. So I want you right now, if you will play with me to think of a choice that you've been circling where you haven't been landing the plane. OK, and here's some questions that might help you.

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land the plane. The first is what do I actually want to create? Now, there's two ways to hear that question. One is, OK, I want to build a better mouse, computer mouse, right? The other way to describe that is I want to build a more sophisticated way to interact with the computer without deciding it's a mouse. OK, you might say.

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I want to help people. I want to help people. Or you could say more specifically, I have a lot of experience with children with special needs. I really want to focus on that because I have something to offer in that area. So being specific about what you want to create, the people you want to help and the outcome you want to help or create. I'll give you an example. I'm going to reach 300 million people. What does that mean? Wippos.

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Help them understand worth identity, possibility, ownership, sovereignty. Why? To move from the swamp. Learned helplessness, addiction to mediocrity, to the marvelous mountain meadow of fierce life ownership, radical excellence and a passion for service. And specifically, I'm going to create 3000 millionaires and 300 deca millionaires from people who want to love, create and serve with their gifts and talents. So that's specifically what I want to create.

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Now, the next question, if you're something you're circling is whose reaction do I keep predicting? So slow down and think about that. Whose reaction do I keep predicting? Oh, I know what so and so is going to think, say do. Who is that? OK, is there a genuine shared obligation that needs to be considered or is it just leftover authority?

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from a different context. Right? Because you own your life and you're free to twist it all around in a pretzel to fit everybody else's whims and wishes, but that doesn't go to happy. That doesn't go to fulfilled. That doesn't go to full utilization of your gifts and talents. I know because I lived that game and it drove me to terrible and dark places. So whose reaction are you predicting?

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Is there any genuine shared responsibility or just leftover context? Is there some useful counsel? Right? Maybe there's simply a feared opinion. And if there is, what is it? What do I think they're going to think and why? And I go in a little deeper and it says what has happened in the course of their life that would make them think that? Maybe from a different time, you know,

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The depression in the 1930s caused the whole generation of people to think a certain way because of scarcity. People today think completely differently. We today, at least in the Western, you know, US and Canada, we haven't had real danger for a long time. Nobody's been to war. And so we kind of think those things are impossible. Stuff going on in the world right now.

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brings that closer and more present than it's ever been. So after you answer those and questions like it, identify what the fear is, identify if there's a shared responsibility. What is that voice saying? Who's talking? And then you can say, well, what's the smallest responsible action that's inside my authority? And that's a dangerous question because you have to really look at what your authority is.

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Because if you bound your authority by, can't piss anybody off, I can't do something without asking, I've got to stay inside these lines that I didn't ever create, but somehow they've got control over me, then the smallest action I can take in that box is useless.

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When you get rid of all the constraints and you say, what is mine to create? And this is such an important thing for me because it took me so long to do it. Took me so long to realize I still had these old records playing about what I was supposed to and not supposed to do. A musician doesn't need unanimous applause to practice. Some people are going to like your music and some aren't.

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A writer doesn't need everybody in the family to celebrate their first paragraph or even their first book. I've got people in my family that have never read a single one of my 24 books. Don't know, don't care. Does that break my heart? No, it used to. I couldn't imagine that. went to an event now some 14 years ago, and as I was writing my very first book and I. 16 years ago, guess.

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And someone in the audience said, oh, you know, you write a book, at least you'll sell some. Your mom will buy five copies. I thought they were joking. I realized later in the conversation they were serious because all those people that were part of that had moms who would have bought five copies. I didn't. There was a lot of resentment and negativity about that. And I doubt to this day that my mom has read any book that I've ever written.

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So for me, that was a completely, you know, weird statement. was like, yeah, sarcastic. It wasn't. What a thing. Right. So you don't need if you're a musician, if you're a writer, if you're a coach, if you want to be someone who works with troubled youth, if you want to work in the mental health space, if you want to be a coder and create the next amazing app, like you don't need permission to pursue a dream. You don't need approval to declare who you are.

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The document I use called a PTAC, Personal Truth and Commitment. When I help people create those governing constitutions, the primary rule is no permission, no agreement. Who are you simply because you said so? A future leader doesn't need universal agreement before learning how to lead. So you right now, you don't need agreement or permission.

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to become what you want. The real test is not does somebody object. The real test is can you remain truthful, kind and in motion when somebody does object? No permission, no agreement. Now, those words do not mean no responsibility to people you've committed to.

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Or that you have obligated yourself to love and serve. So don't hear that. But we give veto power way too much to people. So think about where that is for you. Now here's an invitation. You see this right here? YourUltimateLifePodcast.com. If you'd like to have a conversation about that, there's a contact form. Reach out. If you have a story you want to share about this topic or about your own becoming,

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I'd like to be your amplifier. Again, yourultimatelifepodcast.com, the contact form, reach out. Let's talk. No permission, no agreement. Live your best life. Your life and becoming is not a committee project. People who think it is, they don't have to live with your life, right? There are always going to be people who love you and at the same time never even understand your divine calling and assignment.

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There are going to be critics who will tell you something you urgently need to hear. And there's going to be other critics who tell you garbage you need to ignore. It's up to us to discern the difference. And we can only do it when we're operating from a place of sovereignty. Take a step today that belongs to you. Make a difficult, respectful conversation if one is owed and then move on. You do not need approval.

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You might need their wisdom. You might owe somebody honesty and truth. You may need to renegotiate a promise, but you certainly do not need a unanimous vote for you to become who you know you're called to be. Your gifts were entrusted to you. Stop asking other people to give you permission to live your best life. Me learning that was the greatest

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one of the greatest, if not the greatest, moment of liberation. Now I get to chase my 300 million. I get to love you. I get to write books and do music that are pouring out of my soul with no permission and agreement. I know you can. And if you do, it will walk you right down the road, guess where, to your ultimate

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life. Right now your opportunity for

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Massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenflukegermedia.com. If you want more free tools, go here, yourultimatelife.ca. Subscribe, share.