Your Excuses Are Expensive. They're Stealing the Life You Keep Saying You Want.

You may have a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you haven't started, but here's the uncomfortable what is that beautiful explanation costing you?Not in imaginary millions, but in actual time?Confidence, relationships, opportunities, and work that never gets done.A real obstacle deserves a real plan.An excuse just keeps collecting rent.Welcome to the show.Tired of the hype about living the dream?It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power and real talk so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life.Subscribe, share, create.You have infinite power.Welcome to your ultimate life, the podcast created for me and you to get to the ultimate life.I live that ultimate life.Purpose, prosperity and joy.I invite you to join me, guess what?In the marvelous mountain meadow of fierce life ownership, radical excellence, and a passion for service.Now you know what real obstacles show up in life.I get them.You get them.I just like two or three weeks ago I tore a muscle in my left glute.Big hematoma bruises like a foot and a half long.Crazy.A real obstacle.So those kind of things, or any other obstacle does change the plan, but an excuse prevents the plan.Both cost something, but only one of them gives us a way to work with reality.So everybody talks about the price of action.Action costs time.Action costs attention.Maybe it costs cash.Maybe you have to collect some relationships.Maybe it costs sleep, convenience, certainty.Maybe it even costs looking good sometimes.It's a very real price.But you know what?Almost nobody sends themselves an invoice for not acting.I want you to just think about that.That book you keep thinking about writing or describing.Maybe it's a conversation you keep avoiding the money situation.Maybe you refuse to look at, the practice you say matters, the skill you know you want, but you haven't begun.Maybe it's the relationship you say you want to repair.I used all those examples because I've had every one of them.You know, another day goes by, another week, and the work or the process stays imaginary, the skill stays undeveloped, and the conversation becomes harder.Your confidence in your own word takes a big hit.Because you know what happens every time we make a promise?We don't keep it.We teach ourselves we can't be trusted.We don't need to invent a billion dollar opportunity cost.If I'd only done that.Joy and I did that.We moved from Phoenix up, back up to Edmonton.We purchased a house in 2008, right at that crash crash right at the bottom.So it was great prices and everything.We lived in it for eight years and left at 2016.And you know, after eight years, it had barely recovered a tiny bit more.We sold it, we could have kept it.We only had a 15 year note on it.We would have had it free and clear by now.And now the prices in that area have doubled.All billion dollar opportunity cost now several hundred thousand dollars.But you don't need to invent that kind of stuff.Use just the facts.How about this?30 Minutes of avoidable delay, four times a week's two hours over a month, it's eight hours.That's a meaningful block of creative time.For some people, you know, those minutes aren't available, but for others, they're being spent rehearsing.Why nothing can be done.So avoidance does send an invoice.The trouble is it usually arrives disguised as a normal day.So let's talk about how that works.A constraint, right, is a boundary.It's a place where we, we tug against the end of a rope.I think about this all the time when I walk the dog, right?For whatever reason, it doesn't matter how long the leash is unless the dog's really well trained to walk right by your side.And I've had dogs like that.But most of the time it's right at the end of the lead pulling you right?And that is real for the dog.Most of the constraints we have aren't a, you know, lead tied around our neck that we're pulling against.And, you know, the funny thing is the dog's pulling all the time.Are we really pushing the constraints?Because this right here, this is where we've got to, like, tell the truth instead of going after another shallow personal development voice.I know, and you do too, probably people that work in the personal development world.I can get you out of your own way, Find your barriers and blocks, step into your power phrases that have been repeated over and over again.But when you look at their life, it's not a model of that.When they look at their life, it's not a model of that.I can't tell you how many consultants or coaches or other people that are trying to make a living the way I do, you know, with their own gifts and talents, tell me, you know, it's like the shoemaker's shoes.The shoemaker doesn't have, you know, these kids don't have shoes.And then we laugh like that's some real excuse.It's a sad truth because if we understand how to get something done, then we ought to be the model of that.If we understand how to get past barriers and blocks and things that are in our way, we should be a model of that.And if we can't do it ourselves, we should also be a model of how to get help so that we don't just sit by and have excuses.Because excuses cost money, they cost time.And in the end, I've heard I'm going to quote a poem badly.The saddest words of tongue are or pen are these few words.It might have been right.I could have been a contender that, you know, I came from, I think on the Waterfront, that old movie.But anyway, we do that over and over again and then when we do it some more, then we start beating ourselves up.Oh, I'm doing it again.I'm doing it again.What if we just end all that?We tell the truth instead of just, like I said, becoming some other shallow, barely functioning personal development voice.Now illness is real.I told the story just a few minutes ago, I think it was three weeks ago.They trashed my leg and that hurt.I was in the ER for a whole night and you know, big blood packed thing on my leg and blah, blah, blah, it's still there.It's not, it's gone down and you know, etc.Etc.So that got in the way, but not very long.Now illness is real.The constraints of that are real.Talk to somebody the other day that is taking care of their aged mother.And that was an urgent thing that happened.And this person was out of the country, like way out of the country across the world and got a message and they had to jump on a flight quick and fly a long ways to get there.I'm not using countries and names on purpose just because it doesn't matter, but it was real.Interrupted.Everything they were doing that was really important for business.Went all the way there and took care of it.So illness is real, caregiving is real.And you know, it was funny as he told me that story he got done, I said, you know, I'm just in the middle of that too.And I told him, you know, grandma, my wife's mom just got out of the hospital because he was in the hospital for nine weeks with a stroke and three different hospitals, the acute hospital and then the medium hospital and then the rehab hospital.And we visited her not every night, but nearly every night, probably 2/3 of the nights.And that took, you know, several hours.Messed up everything.Plans and business and prospecting and all that kind of stuff.So I'm saying that not.Poor Kellen, forget all that illness, caregiving, all those things are real.The Constraints are real.And then you and me, we have to decide what we're still going to deliver.Trauma is real, exhaustion is real, poverty is real.Disability, injustice, rent, bills, kids, obligations, they're all real, okay?And so obviously we can't stand over somebody whose life is on fire and announce that flames are just a mindset.That's not true.But here's the thing that's interesting about.You know why I call this your excuses are expensive?Because the existence of genuine difficulty never eliminates the question of agency.It does change the question from why aren't you doing the giant version of whatever?To what is possible and responsible from here?That's certainly the question we dealt with as we looked at what was possible to keep doing.And now Grandma's been home since last Monday, so five days.And we were taking care of her before for six years, but the level of care and the time it takes is doubled.And so Joy and I do the best we can with it.We have some home care, we have nurse that comes in, etc.But it, but it is quite a bit more so we're having to look at.And I'm saying that just as an example.So there's three honest responses to still act, a smaller, workable step.And I'm offering this to you because we, we just make excuses and flop down act, then you still act.And that means, okay, I'm using our example.All this time's gone or will be gone for the next X weeks.And when it happened, yeah, we didn't know how long many weeks turned out to be nine weeks.But the smaller, responsible or workable step, it exists.So take it, take it.And take pride in the fact that you figured it out and did it.The second thing is get help.What is missing can be named and requested.So we did that.We had some, you know, in home help, 30 hours a week, which is four hours a day, five hours a day for, you know, during weekdays.And we've now explored how to get more and et cetera, et cetera, and why, so that we can continue doing the things we need to do to deliver to clients and business and books published and all that stuff.And then we have to make decisions, decide.So act, get help and decide.Because excuses are expensive.And if you're not having some, you know, big thing happen like we just did, and like many do, what are the excuses costing you if they're just Netflix or binge watching TV or staying up late or making excuses about why you can't do it, or thinking I'll never make it.Or allowing those voices to control you.They do and they have for me.And the reason I'm doing this episode is just to love you to pieces.Holy moly.Don't stay stuck behind any excuse.There is a path.There's got to be a way.There is a forward momentum.You, you, each of you with love, forgiveness and power can take right now.Now, if you don't know how to get help, get a hold of me.YourUltimate LifePodcast.com YourUltimateLifePodcast.com There's a contact form and let the subject line of the email be I need help.And let's talk and see.Now here's what I mean.What are you trying to do that you're not doing, that you're making excuses for?Is it creating a product?Is it filling a consulting or a coaching practice?Is it finishing a book?Is it doing something in your personal life where you're at a crossroads?Something in your relationships, something in your business, has a partner done something?You know, all of those things are real.And you can stay stuck or you can get help.And here's the thing.You have to decide.Some things are not feasible right now when those big interruptions come.So then intentionally put it off.I'm not going to do that until next year.I'll give you another example from our lives.I'm opening the University, Ultimate Life University.ULU Ultimate Life University.And it has four schools.It has the School of the Sovereign Architect.That's a book that I finished.It'll be out in a couple of weeks.It has the School of Transformational Authorship and Creation.That's where I help people write books and create products and get on the book to bank journey to make a hundred thousand from their first book.That school already has people in it.So does the School of Personal Sovereignty.So that's the first two or the School of the Sovereign Architect.The third one is the School of Transformational Coaching.And the fourth one's the School of Transformational Leadership and Business.Now, there's a reason I use the word transformational on all of them, even though it makes the title long.But we're not going to do that right now.Those are the four schools.And when I decided this a year ago, I was going to open them all, you know, here.And then three months later, and three months later, and three months later, it was not going to work.So we went back and we said, okay, School of the Sovereign Architects are already open.And that's a particular Kind of work I do, coaching.The second one was School of Transformational Authorship, Book Writing and Product Creation.And so we opened that one and we decided we're not even going to touch the others until next year, 2027, probably not even the second till the second quarter because the work to get the schools open and running is more and bigger than we thought, which is great, but we had to consciously postpone instead of letting it nag at me.A vague someday was what I was doing and it wasn't an honest decision.If you consciously postpone something with a specific date, I'm going to reevaluate 90 days or six months.Then it's a commitment to keep it alive long enough till you're ready to come back to it.If you don't, it's just a vague someday.It'll stay alive, but it'll torture you and you're doing no actual work.And what that does is that just takes up space, rents space in your head of I should be doing this, I should be doing this, I should be doing this.And I know you know what that feels like because you're probably laughing about that right now.So when there's a real constraint, it does change architecture.But an excuse uses the absence of, of perfect or easy or obvious architecture to prevent creation.Please, let's not do that.So there's some benefits.We're going to talk now about the hidden benefits of not becoming, of not starting.Because there's some benefits.We get a Benny when we do that.So what is the excuse?Protect.When you or I make an excuse about, you know, why we're not going to do something we said we were going to do.Let's talk about what the bennies are.So here's one.If I never publish the book, nobody can tell me the book sucks.That's true.If I never create this product and offer the service, nobody can say no and I can avoid the rejection.If I never audition, nobody can reject my music.Funny story, for seven years from 2009 to 2016, I was in a, a very nice, great choir, really large, 300 people with a, you know, full blown orchestra and everything else.When it started the first two years, I, the conductor who's a, you know, graduate of Juilliard and very, very good, etc, etc, didn't really hold specific auditions.Just kind of listen to us.The third year he said, all right, everybody's going to re audition.Because there were more women than men that wanted to be in it and it had to stay balanced.And so some Women got disappointed.And the man.There were some men that didn't make it.And so it was funny because I already been in the choir two years, third year, had to come and audition.And even though I've sung professionally and I'd been in for 2 years, etc.Etc.I still felt that feeling.Ooh.And I auditioned and I made it.But I remember that feeling, right?Here's another benefit.If I don't repair the relationship or try to, I don't actually have to hear what they feel.Here's another one.If I never really decide, I can keep imagining the glorious version of myself who would have succeeded if only conditions had been ideal.What a hysterical thing, right?Sometimes our excuses are protection systems, not stupidity.Here's the thing.Here's a hard truth.And you can laugh while I say this, but it's true.And it's hurtful when we think about the truth of it.I don't mean hurtful to you or anyone, but we think about what we're giving up.Excuses.Preserve a fantasy of capacity by avoiding the vulnerability of testing it.Boy, that just hit me hard because I did that.The fantasy of capacity by avoiding the vulnerability of testing it.I think it'll work.I think it will.I just don't have time to do it.On and on and on.So to be clear, examining that protective payoff I just listed about seven of them does not mean that every piece of suffering is chosen, even though that group is sometimes we're defending a story that costs way more than it protects.And I have a long story about a conversation I had with several people on the stage of my mind where I actually discovered that.And this was about 2015, so about 12, 11, 12 years ago, and it was fabulous.And if you want to hear the story, reach out to me hereultimatelifepodcast.com and put the headline protection story.I'll do another episode on that because it was a four hour conversation.I'll condense it into an episode.All right, so here's some useful questions to see if you're using excuses as a protection mechanism.Number one, what do I get to avoid by keeping this explanation or excuse alive?What do I actually avoid because I use this excuse?Question number two, what identity do I preserve by not finding out?In other words, moving forward, here's number three, and this one's powerful.What would I actually have to trade if I committed, like bulletproof?I went all in.What would I be trading?Safety.You know, fear, whatever it is.Right?So here's One of these things to write down.An untested dream will remain perfect forever.A real creation has got to survive contact with reality, the marketplace, the judgment of others.We expect to buy it or listen to it or read it.Okay, so here's another thing.Here are four prices, prices that show up in real life.And I. I'm so familiar with these, and that's why I'm using them.I had a client that did this first one.The first thing is the price of time.A year spent in indecision.It doesn't sit quietly in some storage locker waiting for you to reclaim it.The year is lived.It's gone.Oh, the price of time.So fiddling around or going back and forth for a year, that year's gone.That price is real.Like I said, I had a client that did that for six months.I'm going to create this.I'm going to.Well, what if that's the wrong thing?What if that's the wrong thing?I don't want to waste time six months later, same convo.Eventually it got solved, but that six months is gone and all the creative energy that was spent in worrying.All right, here's another price.And maybe you're getting heavy under the weight of these prices, these gold bars, right?The price of capacity.What I mean by that is practice not done, is capacity not developed.Now, for me, it might be you can think about what it is for you, but for me, that's piano.There's been times when I practice four hours a day, etc.Etc.And have gotten good.But there's also been times when I let everything get in the way.And that is capacity not developed.The pianist who never touches the keys doesn't just miss today's music.That next level of skill stays farther away.And for me, you know, that's a real thing, even though I've done a lot with it.The third price, the price of self trust.This is.This is a hard one for me.And I want you to think about it every time we say.I'm definitely like, I'm doing it this time.I'm going, I'm doing it.Where's my machete?I'm hacking through the jungle.I'm doing it.And then it's followed by another.Escape teaches us something terrible about what our own declarations mean.We teach ourselves we can't be trusted.Now, that doesn't have to stay that way.Forgiveness is real and we need to do that immediately.But it doesn't matter unless we start, because all it does Is pile up.I could have, should, woulda, right.The next price is the price of contribution.Now I'm a coach.I don't know what you are.I'm a coach, consultant, lots of things rolled into one.Because I have experience in many areas, business, C suite stuff, entrepreneur, studio owner, engineer, blah, blah, blah.So I have experience that adds to it.But fundamental, fundamentally, I'm a coach.When we procrastinate, the people we would have helped in between remain unhelped.The things we would have created.The useful thing that you could have built, that you wanted to build, you said you were going to build or teach or repair or offer.It remains absent.And we can make excuses and say it doesn't really matter, but you and I both know that's not true.You're a unicorn.You matter.What you have to offer can change the world, but only if you get started.And it's not going to change all 8 billion people at once.How about 8 and then 18 and then 108?Nobody can benefit from the book that exists only in your explanation of why it ain't written yet.Ah, and here's a fifth one.And this one hurts the price of resentment.Ye.We can become, and I did this too.We can become furious that the world hasn't rewarded an effort we haven't actually made.I have a client who said to me, I want someone to recognize my genius so much that they just pay me to just be and do whatever I want.Well, and.And being upset because it hasn't happened yet.So it sounds silly, but I recognize this.We can become furious or upset or hurt or angry or whatever word you want because somebody hasn't rewarded us for effort we haven't made.So here's the truth.Nobody owes me for a result I haven't constructed.Nobody owes me for a course or I'm going to build.Nobody owes me for a talk I'm going to create or for a coaching program I'm going to offer, or a consulting, you know, service that I could offer.The costliest excuse, right?And I said your excuses are expensive.A costly excuse might be just the one that lets you sound committed to do this.Go to the gym, write the book, you know, the list, sound committed while keeping you safe from the commitment.I'm going to do this, I swear, when I have time.So what do we do about this?We spent the whole time talking about what it looks like, how smelly that pile of crap is, and all the excuses that we're all familiar with.Ah, so what do we do instead?So let's talk about this.I have a book called the Results Equation.Now that book I wrote because in my executive career I had a 30 year career including a lot of executive positions, but leadership roles and I did a lot of things, I oversaw projects and to the tune of about 200 billion with a B billion dollars.So I looked at the projects and I thought what is it that caused them to get done?And that I turned into a book called the Results Equation.Because what I figured out is that there is a process to getting things done from dream to done.The subtitles From Dream to done in five simple steps I said simple, not easy.But there's five steps to go from dream to done for any project, any project at all.And so the first step is understanding the present up and you ask what is objectively true?What is my available time?Two hours a week.Five hours a week.What is my current skill level?What is the current money I have if cash is required?What are my actual obligations or commitments on my time?No fantasy, no condemnation, nothing.Just what, what is that?So I get a true picture.And you know that sounds like easy but you'd be surprised how difficult it is when you, when you go over that and I help people do that.Out of the woodwork come all these things that they want to do, said they were going to do, etc.That has have call on their time.So when you're looking at what time you have available, you really have to be careful and often you have to decide what you're going to trade.If I'm going to carve out five hours a week to do a thing, I have to carve it from somewhere because most people aren't sitting, going, looking at the ceiling right for five hours a week.Okay, step two is mental earthquake.M e Mental earthquake.And here's the reason.If you're going to build something new, I don't care what it is a million, hundred million dollar piece of software that was one of the startups I was with or, or a building or anything else right now it isn't done.So you have to shift from I can't right now, I'm too busy.It won't happen to what if.What would make it possible?What has to change in my mind and my heart, my way of thinking to, to getting it done, maybe change it from I'll look stupid to Learning requires being seen in the process of learning.Like mental earthquake is where do I get the power to build the thing now the power can Be time.It can be people, it can be resources, it can be money.But that's the question.The third part is to create the future.And the answer, you answer two questions.Do what by when.Really simple do what by when?And the do what has to be really specific, like details or you don't even know what you're building.And by when has to be a date.Do what by when.Two simple, simple questions that have some subparts, but that if you answer them truthfully and in detail, it allows you to get a picture of the future finished state that is so powerful that it will perpetually fire the drive to make it real, even though there are obstacles and things that get in the way.Because as we all know, almost everything, if you create a plan, it doesn't work like you think.Steps and back steps and one step forward and two steps back sometimes, or three steps forward and two steps back.You know all of that is true.But when your vision is anchored, like when you want to build something, you have to be able to describe it in detail.How does it feel to have it done?What will it look like?What will it smell like?What will it do?What will the world be like when it's in place?So what specifically exists if you do this right?Maybe it's something small, like a rough chapter in a book you're writing, or a difficult conversation, or a first music recording, or a clear service offer.Maybe it isn't something big like a building or a, you know, a whole university, but these steps work for anything.Step four is courageous planning.And the reason I use the word courageous is because, like I said, we got to make these trades.Your time is already full.If you're going to carve out five hours a week, you got to get the machete out and carve through the jungle.Where are you going to get the five hours?You can't just think you're going to fit it in on a Saturday afternoon all the time, because you know how that works.Ain't never going to happen.So you have to plan it.You might have to negotiate with others who are in your life.I need to do this.I need these time.Will you support me?Like, what is it that gets traded?Where does it go?In my calendar, one of the things I help people do in the courageous planning step, and it's not done till we do it, is a whole thing called a step map, which is a detailed way to break down any goal, including the time expense and assignments and who's going to do it.And then it has to show up in somebody's calendar in specific blocks.Because only when you do that do you actually have an idea of when something's going to get done.And the trades have to be specific.What do I have to stop or shorten or delegate or even postpone.The fifth step is relentless execution.Now, relentless execution can sound like somebody standing there with a whip, but it isn't.It's simply three words.Execute, evaluate, adjust.Execute, evaluate, adjust.And if you have that future vision and create the future that is so clear it perpetually fires the engine.Execute, evaluate, adjust is natural steps.It's not having a cow.Because the first plan is going to be wrong.Maybe a lot, maybe a little.Great.So reality can teach us what to do.I've used the results equation on all kinds of stuff in professional capacities and personal capacities.Finishing books, finishing albums, working with clients.It works.It works.It works.And if you want to see it in person, then get the book, the results equation.I'd hold it up, but I don't know where it is in the stack of books.Okay, so we know, you and I, we don't have our feet on the desk counting the dots in the acoustic ceiling tile, waiting for an assignment.Life is full.So your trade is where your intention gets serious.And if you don't do it, you're not serious.All right, so here's a.Here's another practical step.If you want the details, get the book.The results equation.The results equation.And it is an equation, although you don't have to do any math.And if you want help with it again, yourultimate lifepodcast.com use the contact form subject line, results equation.So here's a minute.I want you to take an excuse audit.Pick one thing you've postponed, One thing you've postponed.First one that comes to mind, and it'll probably be popping in your mind already and glowing red, right?So answer some questions.What is it that I'm claiming I want?Like, name the actual result.One of the things I do when I help people with this book in the school of transformational authorship and creation, to get on the book, to bank trail, to write a book, get it published, and then turn it into $100,000, which I've done a bunch of times, and I show people how to do, I do all the time.Okay, so name the actual result.Book done 100k.And with what?What asset are you going to create from that?So name the actual result.That's the first thing that you want.You're claiming to want at least.The second question is, what is it that I keep saying that prevents it?Now go ahead with the book example, because that's one that I see a lot and do a lot.Don't have time, don't know where to start.Somebody will be mad at me.Nobody read it anyway.You know, everything's already been said.100 Excuses.So write down the sentence or sentences exactly.And read them out loud.Sometimes when we do that, they sound so silly.Reading them out loud that that already chips away at their power.Now, of those set of sentences or excuses, which parts are facts and which are made up?If there are some facts that are in the way, they belong in the plan.The made up part, that's, you know, mental work, mindset work, that kind of thing.Which part of those sentences are either predictions or fears or habits?So then let's test them instead of worshiping them right at the altar of they're not changeable.Now, if you want to get started right now, here's an easy question.What can I actually do in 20 minutes, like honest capacity.If I set aside 20 minutes right now to research what I need to do, to research where to start to write the email to me if you want my help.But to actually do something in 20 minutes that matters, that moves the needle.The next question is, what will I trade?Time doesn't materialize from sincerity, doesn't materialize just because we want it.Now here's another important one.What if I don't actually choose this right now?That's okay.But the, the dichotomy or the friction is when we pretend.We keep saying.We keep saying and pretending we want something and making excuses.That creates friction.It makes us feel bad and attacks self worth and all the rest.If you don't want to do it right now, say so.I am putting this off.I'll revisit it in January of 27 or January of 28.Say it.Own the decision.Sovereignty, which is what this is about, includes a clean no instead of a extended pretense.The deal isn't to make ourselves feel guilty.That's not what this is about.We got way do the guilt dance.Way too much useless guilt in the world.The purpose here is to stop paying with mental space and excuses.Stop paying for an explanation and start investing in creation.Okay, here's a phrase.You can write this down.Stop paying rent to the old story.Your real circumstances matter.Maybe you need help.Maybe you need a different schedule.Maybe you need a coach, a smaller project, more healing, more information or an entirely different strategy.But I've seen people hide behind the healing and all the rest of the stuff on and on forever, and they don't start doing the thing that shows up after the healing.Well, I got to do more.Another layer, layer, layer.You're waiting too long.The world needs your voice.It needs the truth of your being.I need it.I want to hear it.So maybe you need something.But you also need to decide and get started.If a real next step exists and you're simply hiding because of some discomfort, hey, own it.Here's the truth.Your excuses are expensive.They charge you time.They charge you capacity.They charge you self trust.The good you might do might otherwise get into the world.Now don't punish yourself for that, but call it out in real life.No.No harm, no foul, no yelling.Just stop paying the bill.Name the truth, make the trade.Take the step.Evaluate, adjust.Build something real.And again the results.Equation is the book.Getting this stuff done for me and others, that's my whole life.Helping you live in your own Whippos Worth, identity, possibility, ownership and sovereignty.If this resonates, reach out yourultimate life podcast.com the contact form tell me what you need and how I can serve you.Because you right now can create and live your ultimate life.

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