If You Knew Your Expiration Date, Would You Live Differently?

Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living a dream? It's time for truth. This is the place for tools, power and real talk.So you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power. Hello there and welcome to this episode of your ultimate life, the podcast that I I created nearly.We're in our seventh year.To help you learn and implement what's necessary to live the ultimate life, the life of purpose, prosperity and joy that you can create with your gifts, your life experience and your glorious being. So today I have a special guest, Esther Wildenberg. Wildenberg, if you speak it in Dutch. But anyway, she's living in California.Esther, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much, Colin. I'm really happy to be here.

You're just welcome. We had a delightful conversation some, some weeks ago and I knew that you'd be a perfect addition to the show and to the listeners.And I don't do introductions per se because that's just usually a bunch of stuff people forget anyway. But I do like to give you that. Well, it means something when comes out during the, during the conversation. Right. People remember it more.So I'm going to ask you a question that I want to give you then free reign to answer and I don't want you to be particularly modest. So here's the question. I'd like you to tell me how Esther chooses on purpose to add good to the world.

That's a deep question and I'd love to answer that.I was not really aware of that until I had my accident with two motorcycles me on my bicycle in the Netherlands and really wiped out where everything changed for me and had two near death experience before that I was just focused on school and more like surviving and going to the university, became a dentist and hated it every second along the way. And then I had my wake up call and this beautiful near death experience put me on the path on bigger impact. Living my life on my terms.Really connect with who I am or do I want not Live the life of my parents or pressure from peers or what will be best for me and just listen to my soul, my heart, what do I want to do.And from that moment forward I after my long term recovery of three years and healing journey, I went on my path of personal development, spiritual growth and really tapping into what do I want. And then I realized I want to give back to the world.I want to do something meaningful and impactful that's just beyond myself and do having a job and a paycheck so that was my awakening at 23 years old.

So.So you grew up normal stuff in the Netherlands, you went to school, going to be a dentist and the process, when you were 22 or when you were 19, you had the accident.

23, I was 23.

So when you were 23, first 23 years, you lived what would have been the normal life in the machine.

Right?

And in 23 you had an accident which was severe, serious and caused you to have a three year recovery and you had a near death experience. And that's particularly interesting to me because I've had one, written a couple of books about that.And I'm going in in August to the International association of Near Death Studies, the IAN's annual conference in Seattle to speak at that event. So when you say near death, that interests me and I know it's a fascinating topic for others.So besides dying or almost dying and recovering, talk a little bit about what happened and how you made a choice to get out of the machine and start pursuing something you called your soul's purpose or you know, that kind of, that kind of stuff. What happened?

No, I knew I was not happy, I was depressed and not happy. I didn't like my job, I didn't like my life and I was basically stuck. So it was a wake up call.And you know, people said like, I'm so sad it happened to you and said no, it was the best thing that ever could happen to me because I was like living a miserable life, not to blame of anybody else, but it's just when I didn't live the life that made me happy.And so when I went through the near death experience, I got a very clear message that I was here to empower women to really step into their power at a young age and start living their life and their dream and not based on cultural tradition to do the regular route of go to school, study, have a job, get married, have children, and then by the time you're an empty nester, you can think about yourself. And I became really passionate about that message, but also knew at 23 years old, who am I to talk about this topic?So I went on this massive journey on personal development. Books, courses, seminars, hired coaches, mentors, had different kind of jobs in different industries, became very successful in corporate.And then I knew, like, corporate is not for me. I need to be my own boss, be an entrepreneur, live start living what I preached.So I started a consulting firm working with business owners, entrepreneurs to help them grow and scale and turn around companies.And I started Doing retreats and masterminds for women to really be out of their routine and feel like, who are you when you're not a mom or when you're out of your job? Like, what is your true passion? And I ask them all the time, like, if you knew your expiration date, what would you be doing instead?What you're doing right now, and that the answer is always different than what they're doing right now. Like, literally 99 of a hundred times.

That's a really interesting. I know there's more, but I. I just want to go down that road for a minute. I agree with you.And people say, you know, live every day like it's your last day on Earth. Well, I would do something completely different. And maybe it really isn't possible to live every single day like it's your very last day.But your question of if you knew your expiration date, what direction would your life be taking? And I'm not surprised. At 99%, it's different. How did you get the message?Like, what communicated to you the message that you're supposed to be doing something different?

You know, I didn't even want to come back. So first, that was. The first message was like, no, you have to go back. You're here for a really big reason, and you have to make an impact.That's why you have to go back. It's not your time. And, like, okay, I guess I have no choice. And then I.But I was, like, in this, like, world surrounded by angels and, you know, beautiful white light and all kind of energies and colors and flying, and they're like, oh, my gosh, I want to be here. Love there, and so much unconditional love and just joy that I like, oh, my gosh, I want to leave this world.And I got the message, you can live this on Earth when you connect to your sole purpose.And then this Native American tribal leader with this beautiful feather, like, headpiece showed up with a feather on his hand, and it had a little key on it. And he presented to me and then got the message that what I shared like, that I'm here to empower women to start living their life at a young age.And that's why I had my accident at 23 and not a heart attack at 55, for example. I got the message right there. This is your opportunity to step into it. And it didn't sink in because I was in the intensive care.So in that moment in time, I was not really conscious and aware of the whole thing. But when I came out of it. And I was in my room by myself and I started journal, like what was the message?And I meditated and got the download and the download came again and I wrote it down and, and I, I didn't go back to it right away because I was so in my recovery and trying to walk again and get out of the hospital. Took me five months to get out of the hospital and just a very long journey of first being healthy again.And so after three years I got grabbed my journal and I started to do the work to be ready for it. My career path. Hired coaches. I did Tony Robbins. I actually watched Tony Robbins for five months in the hospital every single day.I just ordered a black box with six DVDs. I remember it as the day yesterday. And it arrived a week before my accident.And, and I told my girlfriend as soon as I could let my roommate could watch television, I said, I don't wanna watch television. That had the DVD player built in. Like, you know, I'm that old. So. And I said bring me that box. And I just have to watch that.And I went on a healing journey, a very deep healing journey of my childhood and the abuse I went through. And a lot of things really fell in place. And I watched it for five months and people thought I was totally crazy.My family said, why are you watching every single day the same thing?

Because I am totally crazy. I'm totally crazy. And I've been driven crazy by the machine that I've been living in for.

Right.

23 Now, 24 years. And so you spent a couple of years healing and had the good sense to order that before your accident. A prescient move. And so you had it.And doing that every day in an immersive way for five months must have really lit the, the awareness and the fire. And that's a very beautiful image of the key. And I, I really think it's key what you said, empower women at a young age.Because you're right most of the time something happens when you're 40, 50, 60. You know, I was 52 in 2007 when, you know, my divine intervention happened. That set me on the path I've been on now for nearly 20 years.So I get that. And it's really exciting that it happened at such a young, young age for you.You mentioned getting out of the hospital and going on a career path to get into some kind of corporate work. What, what puts you in that direction.

At first I had a personal trainer to get myself back in my strength and.

Right.

No it was a very long journey. Like one day I started with one step and then five steps and then 10 steps, like, and it felt like I ran a marathon.And then I finally graduated to go on a bicycle. And I did like five rounds and they're like, I need to sleep. And then I had to build it up for a. To recover.And then after I was like, back on to getting to a normal phase, I hired a personal trainer to really work with me and get back in my shape. And. And that was at the gym. And they asked me if I was interested in being a general manager. And I said, general manager? Not really. So I declined.And then I got approached again by a big franchise, fitness first if I wanted to be a general manager of their. One of their locations and then open other ones and be part of something bigger. And I was like, yeah, I want to do that. So I did it.First I went into the fitness world. Now I knew that would not be my. My end destiny, but I learned a lot working with people and I was really passionate about sports.I was really hardcore in sports. I think that was always my survival and escape out of my family environment to just play sports and be outdoors and.And I was really passionate about that for a while. Then I moved to Power Plate International, the little machine everybody knows. And then I realized I want to step out of this industry.And I just applied for a corporate job as a business unit director.Now, the funny part is the CEO invited me, says, your resume doesn't make any sense for me to hire you in a corporate financial services environment, but I want to talk to you. So I sat down and she asked, like, why are you applying for this job?I said, I think I would be really good business unit director and just, you know, turn it around because it was not doing well. It was like in the red numbers. And she, I just, she says, like, I don't know your resume. Tell me why. And I said, because of my.Everything I went through, my recovery, my mindset, how to get out of it against all odds, like surviving it, getting back on my feet, starting my life all over. And I said, I think you just can hire me for my resilience and driven part of want to win in life. And that's why you're going to hire me.As you looked at me and she says, you're something different. She says, okay, I have nothing to lose. You know, if you can turn it around, great. So I started that Monday.

Wow.

And I arrived in that office and I literally was just a desk and not in a chair. Nothing. Nothing on the wall. Nothing. It was like this literally depressing corporate room.So I picked up my laptop and my keys for my car and my phone. And this is just. She says, good luck. And I had no not to do. And I just really. I just have to pick up the phone.And I started dialing and got clients, and I turned it around in six months. And she says, you're higher. So for a long term. So I. And then I asked her to mentor me, and she says, you're the first one.I have this company for more than a decade. You're the first one that's asking me if I can mentor you. And I said, yeah, how else do I get better? I need a mentor, and this is your company.There's nobody better that can mentor me than you. And I said, I know you don't have a lot of time, but if I can get like 30 minutes or an hour a week or every other week, I'll take it.So she mentored me.

I want to keep the story going, but there's some really interesting points I want the listeners to pick up on. And that is. There's a. There's a theme here of drivenness. I didn't like what was going on at home, so I went out and played sports.But you did it well. And I know that because someone wouldn't ask you to be the general manager of a gym if you didn't have that aspect of drivenness.They wouldn't say, we're going to hire you to be the general manager of a gym because we think you're going to fail. No, they would hire you because they think you're going to succeed because you have that energy that says that.The same thing that said, this lady said, oh, yeah, I'll Harry. I mean, what. You know. And so then again, you went to succeed, and then you took the same initiative where you mentor me.That's the same lady that said, I'm going to watch Tony Robbins for five months while I'm recovering me.I mean, there's a theme here, and I want to point at it for listening, because creating the ultimate life, which is what the theme is here, doesn't come in an Amazon box. It is created as we make choices. And so I'm just noticing that repeated theme. Keep going. I just wanted to stick that in there.

Yeah, that's powerful. So I became a state business unit director. I started to work with other business units and account managers and field managers.And then she left after I was there for Three years. And then she sold the company.

Oh, wow.

And I'm like, dang it. You know? So I talked to her. She says, I gave you a really good position.Like, she set me up to really overlook the whole organization to work with the new owner CEO. I couldn't stand that guy. Like, I told him, I don't like you. And he says, wow, you're really direct. I said, yeah, you know, I'm not going to lie.I'm not going to pretend for a paycheck. Like I said, I don't align with your vision of putting everything under one umbrella.You know, you have those little pillars that each are their own animal, like finance, hr, security, government. You know, they have a different group of people that have to go talk to different executives. You cannot just blend that whole party.He says, who has more experience, you or me? I said, you probably in years do, but I don't think that's gonna be the right decision. But it's now your company, so it's your choice.I said, if it doesn't work, I'm gonna be gone in 90 days because I don't want to be part of a sink ship. He looked at me, and I was 33 years old. Okay. He was like, 60, right. And he. He. He didn't know what to do with me, and I just kept doing my thing.And I called Vira, my. The previous CEO. I said, I'm not going to stick around here. I said, I cannot stand this guy. Like, I'm sorry. I have to be honest.He says, I said, I want to start my own company. She says, no, I'm going to hire you in my new company.

Oh, wow.

So I went to her new company only for one year. I said, I will do it for one year, and then I'll start my own business. So I helped her grow her new company also in the financial world.And then I started my own company.

Cool. What a story of exciting growth. So when you started your. And thanks for sharing all that, because the common themes there are really important.And people. We live in a world today where the people think two things.One, it's download and double click, meaning I can go find the answer, download it, and double click, and it's done.Or they think that every problem, situation, or difficulty should be able to be solved in the length of a TV sitcom, which, you know, real life isn't like that. And you've consistently demonstrated that. What was the name of your first company?

The first. My personal company.

Yeah.

When you started your own was Link in management from LinkedIn management. So I was the link between the management of different organizations. I had started consulting firm with. I met over the years being a corporate.So many consultants that were great expertise in what they do in finance or IT or but couldn't sell themselves. So I became the broker of putting them on projects with Fortune 500 or sometimes smaller size companies. And that's how I make my money.I was really good with people at a big network and great connections and they had the expertise for the projects they were looking for to hire people for six months, year, two years depending on the project. And I was.

So you became a headhunter for consultants, essentially placing them in different. Cool. So how long did you do that?

I did that since I started in 2008 and I met my wife in 2013 and I moved to the US in 2014. So till 2014 and then I sold my company and moved to the U.S. cool.

So that was six years. What a fun thing. And everything before it prepared you for that. How exciting. So you've been in the US since 14, so that's now a dozen years.And what, what company? Obviously you've started something new when you got to the U.S. what was that?

When I started my consulting firm, I also started my retreat and mastermind business at the same time. So I hosted retreats for women around the world. I did it two to four times a year.And so when I moved here, I told my wife, I will help you to grow your training and tech company. And we partnered in the business. I said, but I still love doing my retreat. So I kept doing my retreats.Over the past decade I've hosted over 80 retreats. And then I started to pick up my consulting three years ago. So I'm consulting as well with company. I turn them around in 90 days. That's my specialty.

Cool. So when you think about all the things that you have learned to do and there's a, for me at least listening. There's a common theme through this.It is finding you know, the important parts that are missing or not being done well, changing them, creating both the drive, the insight, the inspiration to help people know what to do. What's the name of your company today?

My wife and I own Cobreaker Technologies and my own company is called Empower with an ao. So empao W E R and it's under the website, under my name because nobody spells it right. So I just kept my name as the link for my website.But there's. It's simple for the average human being.

So That's a. That's a great story, and thank you.And I can tell, obviously, those that are watching or listening can hear your energy and your excitement about how you're living. And I love people having. Or the people on guests here that. That present like you do with this energy.The idea is to live a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy. And I started with the question, how are you adding good to the world?And I've heard a whole half a dozen or dozen different ways that you do that, and I love it. Do you feel like you're living the life you want? Purpose, prosperity, and joy?

I think I do. Yeah.

Fabulous. So sometimes people say, well, that's good for you, or you could do that, but I could never do that. That's not available for me. What would you say?Do you think anybody can do that? If they want to?

If you want to, yeah. It's a choice. And I. I have enough examples of people that chose choose to not do, and that's okay. Everybody has their own life path. Right?So I don't force anybody. I. I believe everybody can. Because the hardest thing has never been getting out of my accident, out of the hospital, or building a business.The hardest thing has ever done is being a mom. So I meet so many women that are moms. I said, that's the hardest thing I've ever done.Like, if you can be a mom and raise this beautiful little soul to become an incredible human being, starting in business is way easier. It's easier because it's not your own. It's not your little own piece of your heart that's walking around.It becomes your little baby because you create a company, but it's tangible. If it feels. You just flush it and start something new with a child, you have it. You cannot give it back. Right.So you just have to make the best of it. Now, I have an incredible son. I'm really proud of him, and he's a joy to be around. But it's freaking hard to be a mom. Like, dang, like, yeah.So I tell people when I speak on stage or even in my book, I write it like, you can do hard things, but you have to choose to do them. And you have to be willing to. And you have to find what really excites you, what you want to wake up for every single day. And that is the main thing.If you just have a job for a paycheck, you're gonna be miserable the rest of your life. Because I'll tell you, paycheck. This gives you excitement for maybe 30 seconds a month.When you see the numbers show up in your bank account, you're all excited and think about, how can I spend it? And 30 seconds later, something happens around you and you're out of it. And that's not life.

No, it's not. And I just, I love the fact that you're saying it and saying it so matter of factly. When you work with people that believe they can't.And you're right. Raising kids, I have 10 kids. And so raising kids is harder than anything else. That's the truth.But what are the biggest things that you hear over and over again that are not true, but why people believe or give themselves excuses about why they can't create the life they want? Like you just described. What do people say all the time?

What's in the way that it's not for them, that they don't believe they can. And also, I didn't come to this planet with great cards. Shuffle your card deck and put another card on top. My card deck was not great.Like, the things I went through is like, also not glorious. You know, I had in some ways a pretty good childhood, but in other ways it was very abusive. And, you know, your childhood is not like your story.You have to change your story. Your identity can change, right? So I think it's a choice.Like read books, hire a coach, go on a retreat, find a mentor, do some programs that can help you to get in the right mindset and heart set and soulset and take care of who you want to become. You're not a product of your parents. I tell them your parents only have influence until you're 18.So if you still talk about your first 18 years, then you're stuck in the past. And you, you still have your parents in power over your life. You have to take power over your own life.Like, even if you did education and your, I don't know, in debt and you still are paying off for your education, but you hate it. Like, keep paying it off or do something else. Like, you know, you're, you don't have to keep doing what you're doing.You just have to be courageous to make a decision. When you make a decision, everything will align and fall in place. But if you keep going, being miserable is a choice.

So there's a bunch of things there I want to unpack and it's fun for me because you say that. So matter of fact, Lang, just change your mind. Just go do something else. And so many people, you know, they stay stuck. It's not for me.And you said it earlier, people have the right to choose and choose whatever they want. What, What I laugh about is you've chosen this. So quit bitching like you're choosing this. So, okay, you know, live there.You can choose something else. What do you. When you say to people, okay, you didn't have a great card deck to start with. Let me put a different card on top.How do you help someone do that, who's been living this sort of belief cycle for a long time, and so they, they doubt their ability to. To change the cards, to shuffle the deck. What do you tell them?

I asked them what impactful event happened in their childhood that keeps them stuck where they're at, because it's always happened between. Mostly between birth and seven is where the most impact happens. And then it will extend until like 15, 16. So something happened.Either abuse of childhood or no debt in the home or poverty or, you know, being abandoned or betrayed or. There's big themes there. And I said, you have to go back to that moment in time.And I walked them through, back, back on their timeline until they feel like this was the moment. And then I helped them do the healing on that part.And, like, look in the mirror, like, who do you see and who do you want to become and who are you destined to be? Like, go back to that little child. Like you were. You knew exactly why you were here. You were probably happy child or really excited about something.And then it got, like, smashed. And that's the moment you have to go back to. You have to heal that before you can move forward in life and do the things you really want to do.And I give them a lot of writing exercises. If you have $5 million in your bank account and money is not an issue, what would you be doing? What makes you happy every day? Is it like photography?Taking pictures of nature or headshots of people and find their true presence? Is it being in real estate and sell people incredible homes and be part of their journey of moving? Like, what is it?Doesn't matter what it is as long as something you're really happy about. Waking up every day not knowing that you do your best, bills are paid, but what would you be doing? And so that's the main question.And it's a writing exercise. And it's so powerful because they. Then I realized, like, yeah, this is what I want to do.And I said, why are you waiting to get a heart attack or a divorce or get sick before you start realizing life is short and I should be Doing it right now while you're healthy. Right now. Why don't you do it right now? And then there's no. Yeah, that's it.

No, no, no. I was just. I was just gonna say. So I love that writing exercise. And, you know, if.If time, money, and all that stuff weren't a problem, so you can quit blaming that. What would you do? And so let's say they find that. Because this is a key piece of development that I. I love that you're talking about.So let's say they find it through the writing exercise and you ask them that important question, which is, why aren't you doing it right now? Like, what are you waiting for? And. And then they list the things. I have obligations. I have no time. I can't. I'm stuck. I'm trapped. I've.I should have made that decision 10 years ago. And now I have. Whatever. Bills and life. How do you help them build a ramp? Yeah.I mean, there's two ways you can jump off a cliff and build your parachute on the way down. And once in a while, that might be the right answer. Usually it's not. But let's. How do you help them build a process to get to that?

There's two types of people work. Some people, I tell them, if you keep your foot on first base, you can never steal second. Right. If you watch baseball, you have to move.

Yeah.

So either you just, you know, cut the cords, sink the ship, and just jump. But that's not for everyone. And then there's the people that need a plan.I said, then we have to put a date on the calendar when you launch your business or when you go start that new job. And we work backwards. What do you need to get there? But the date is firm, and we commit to it, and there's accountability, and there's no going back.So we have to get ready. I know. We all have a life. We have kids, we have bills to pay. Like, that's for everybody. You know, there's.We have obligations, but the obligations feels like a heavy, you know, rock on your foot. That's not a good place to be in. So I plan with them. Let's say they wanted to do it in 90 days or in a year from now. I work backwards. The whole plan.What do we have to do? And we have to get started today. We start today. Put intention and put it out there. When you put it out in the universe, it's going to start flowing.

Stuff does start happening. I love that word. I'm sorry. I Interrupted you. What were you saying?

You're right. So it's important for them to see that it will happen.I said, you have to understand when you make a decision and you choose and you own it and you embody it, then things will come to you.You meet the right people suddenly, or opportunities come, or you go to an event and suddenly there's something like, oh my gosh, I want to work with you, or things will happen, you have.

To declare they do. And I love. There's two things I want to take right here. You said something about obligations and how they feel like a rock, a weight on your foot.And one of the things I talk about to people, as I say, empty your calendar. Like, I have no obligations, I have commitments, but I don't have any obligations.And the reason is that obligations, they always carry the tone or the feeling of resentment. Meaning if I'm. I have to do this, I'm obligated, but I'd really rather be doing that.If you do anything with that energy, then, you know, obligations become that rock on your foot. And I love that you said that because that's so important. And the second thing you said that's so good is the embodiment of.Because, like, it's easy to talk about a thing as long as it's that thing over there. But embodying a thing comes from in here. And that's the real energy that causes things around you to move and stuff to change.And so you mentioned both of those things.

Yeah.

And they're so true and so important.

It's very important. But you can only embody it when you truly love yourself.That's why I tell them you have to heal your heart, take your heart walls down and truly love who you are without any judgment of the outside world. They have opinions about you no matter what. Be okay that people don't like you. There are 8 billion people on this planet.They're going to be enough people that are going to like you. And you're not for everyone. I know I'm not for everyone and I'm okay with that. Like you like me or you don't. And I will sleep the same.I live the same life. I'm going to be as happy as I am. It doesn't impact me, but I had to get there too. Right? It's all part of the journey. Just be okay with that.Like I had.It was totally fine in the net as I moved to the U.S. i get all this first compliments on my looks, but then they have a Lot of judgment about my accent or my English or, you know, and I said, if you start speaking better Dutch than I speak English, we can have a conversation.

I love that. I love your accent because, yeah, I actually, you know, learned Dutch and spoke fluent Dutch at one point.But anyway, so I love your accent, by the way, so it's okay. You know, I saw Ester Wildenberg, and I'm like, okay, this is Nederland. Anyway, so I love that. And, you know.You know, I. I'm sure in all your work, you know who Byron Katie is. And one of the things that she.

Yes, she was actually first books I read. And when she came to the Netherlands, I met her in person. I went to a workshop. She helped me a lot in my early stages.

One of her phrases that I love is what other people think of me is none of my business.

Right.

You know, and I love that phrase because I can't control it, number one. I don't even know what they're thinking 90% of the time. It's all an invention in my head anyway.And even if they tell me I don't care, like, it's none of my business, they're wearing a set of lenses through their life experience that caused them to do that. What the heck does that have to do with me?

Nothing.I just trigger something inside of you that you wish you had or you don't like or whatever it is or remind you of somebody in your life that either you admired or you hate it. But it's like, figure it out. Just don't put it on me 100%.

So I want to open the field now. I want to say. Okay, Esther, I'd like you to talk about your current work.Anything that we didn't talk about, like, if you have some things on your heart you want to make sure we know or that you want to teach. So tell us what you'd like us to know now and then tell us about your current work.

What I see a lot is that people come to me, that they want to make more money. I know. Or they want to find the love of their life. That I can help with both. But I said that's not your main challenge.Your number one challenge is that you're not aligned between your soul, your heart, and your mind. And when you're not aligned, your relationships won't flow and your business won't flow.So, yeah, the money will come when you get here aligned and get really clear on who you are, what you want to do. And if you already own a business, why it's not flowing.Either you lost your passion or, or you're stuck in a vision that doesn't apply in the world we're living in right now. You have to adjust your vision. And maybe if people on the team that should be that became furniture, you have to get rid of them.Like, they're not productive, they're not efficient, they're not passionate anymore. They're just there for the paycheck. They're going to be. There's so many things. And the relationship side, I said, you know, it's an energy field.If it doesn't align with who you are, where you want to go, then you have to look at that. So I talk about alignment, I talk on stage about it. I just spoke at a business conference.Every talked about Kevin, the right legal team, attorneys, and also about marketing, if they write marketing and sales and about ops and sops and all the speakers and I'm the last speaker and I said now I said all amazing speakers. And if this all is fine and you have this all in place and guess what? Your business is still not flowing. Do you know why?And it got so freaking silent in the office. I said, you're not aligned. And I talked about alignment for an hour and get them all exercised and doing things and they're all like, dang.And they're like, yeah, you can have everything in place and it looks perfect on paper and on the outside, but then nothing happens because you're blocking your own energy. So that's. I'm really passionate about. I do it in my retreats, I do it in my consulting.And so when I come in to turn around their company, I said, I'm not here. The money come, will come. Don't worry about that part. You're gonna turn around here. The energy and the people work and then the rest will flow.And it happens every single time. So that's, that's. I'm really passionate about.And I believe that you really have to listen to your soul, heal your heart and get your mind straight on making decisions that empower your life, not the life of others or what other people's expect from you to do this.The same conversation that I had with my wife, like I worked with her in the company for 10 years building our technology and training company and we speak around the world and we're doing really well. But I said, my passion is my retreats and my consulting so I can do my work, why I'm here on this planet and I want to do more of that.But she says, I want you full time in the business, and I love that you want that, but I want this. So I'm in both companies now and I'm happy and she's happy.But you have to sometimes restructure the situation and then make sure everybody's happy along. Along the way.

So talk about. I want you to give me an idea, give the listeners an idea today of that alignment.Because you said your, you know, your soul, your heart and your head, they have to be alignment. And you heard a whole conference full of great people saying cool stuff. And you said none of it's going to work unless you're aligned.So give me an example of what you would do as a first exerc or something to give people a sense of what that would mean. Can you do that?

I can do that. Cool.

Let's do that.

The first exercise is I. I really let them write down why they started the company inside. Not talk to anybody. Go sit down there and just start writing. Why did you start this company? Because I work mostly with founders, right?Or single entrepreneurs or small business owners, and also with bigger companies. But I always ask the C suite or the founders, like, why did you start this company? And then I asked them, what was their biggest high, right?And why was it the high and their deepest low, and why did it happen? And then I asked, what's your number one challenge right now? And most of them, they say, revenue. It's either revenue or people and tech.It's always the same thing. And then I ask them, what's your number one opportunity right now? Where do you want to take this?And I let them write because they don't take time to write. So I. My first exercise is writing. I just ask questions, the questions I just said, and I let them write. And then I have to read it out loud.So they hear themselves saying. And they also don't do that because. But when I'm there, they have to. It's like unnegotiable. Like, and then it opens up.Like, oh, it opens up the body, the mind, and the spirit. And I can get in, otherwise I cannot get in. Because they're just so focused on we need to make more money. Like, that's all fine. That will happen.Don't worry about it. We have to find to the core. You have to go to the core of the challenge. Why is it not growing and flowing?So I just ask deep questions and write and then speak it out loud. That's a very key component.

I love that. And you talked about a writing exercise. Earlier about, you know, what you really would do if you had no constraints, meaning money was not a problem.And you are so right. Writing. I was in a mastermind once. The guy said, writing is the doing part of thinking.And I don't know if he created that phrase or repeated it from somewhere. It doesn't matter. I really liked it. It's the doing part of thinking.And when you said read it out loud, because when you hear yourself say those things, it's so different. And I would just urge those of you listening to do that. Like, what is the vision of your life if you've started a company? Why?And your biggest high, like, did it come in line with that? That's really good. So where do people find out more if they, if they want to have another dose of Esther after this one?Where do they, where do they go to get that?

They can go to my website, EstherWildenberg.com or they can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, all the, the well known routes to connect with me.

EstherWildenberg.com. You know, I would really recommend you do that. It's fun when you have your own name. Like, I got it. Kellen Fluker.When I went to get that, like, I got it for two bucks, right? Who else?

Yeah, I got my website for five bucks or something. I got it right away. And I think I got it in probably in 2000 or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that is so good.Is there anything else that we didn't talk about that you want us to take away today from, from having the pleasure of hearing about your story, your passion, how you add good to the world and who you are?

I think the best way to know more about me and my journey is reading my book, the Undermined Soul that I wrote in 2024. And actually, I was never planning on writing a book because people told me you're not a good writer. So I was like, okay, I guess so.

Of course she wrote a book.

Of course I wrote a book. It was because my son, he was 4 at the time, he said, I want to read your book.Because my wife wrote two books, so he knows she wrote two books and says, I want to, I want to see your book. I want to read your book. I want to listen to it. And he's four. He was four and he's now six. And I'm like, I don't have a book. And he says, why?And I'm like, okay, I guess I have to write a book. And at that moment I decided to write a book.And Then I meditated the next morning and the title came right away and like, okay, I guess everything is aligned. Yes.

You mean this one? The Undermined Soul. There it is. So I have one. Well, how fun.

It is fun and it's, you know, it's my life story and it's a lot of very lessons learned and practical advice for every business owner, entrepreneur or people that are stuck in life and want to take their life to a whole different level on a new path. It's a, it was a passion project and I, I really dedicated the book to my son and I gave my first copy to him and signed it.And it's, he has all books. Every single time I speak on stage, I asked the speakers to sign the copy of their book. So he has signed copies.I'm collecting signed copies of books for my son when he's old enough that he has this special collection what's going to be very valuable. I don't know if he's going to read them all, but I'm going to tell him that he has to read a lot of books to become incredible in this world.

So that's fabulous. Well, I love it and I'm grateful.Esther, I want to thank you for sharing your heart, your story, your enthusiasm, your energy and your wisdom with us today. Thanks for being here.

So grateful to be here, listeners.

I want to take this opportunity, I want you to think about this because Esther has talked about this. Of of course, just do this, just do this. And people talk about that opportunity. We have to change in different ways. But she's 100% right.It requires choice. It requires taking responsibility, setting a clear destination and then the individual choices all the time along the way.And if you need to get a coach or some accountability processes or whatever, do it. Because otherwise all we live on is excuses and promises.And if you do what she's described for you today, including what's written in that beautiful book, you will be able to do what you want to do and create your ultimate life. Right here, right now. Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that that will change everything. If you want to know more, go to kellenfluermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. Your ultimate life Ca Subscribe.

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