You’re Not Lost — You’re Waiting for Permission to Become Yourself

Are you asking permission to be who you are? I'll bet you are. Come with me and let's take a look. Welcome to the show. Tired of the hype about living a dream? It's time for truth.This is the place for tools, power, and real talk, so you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life. Subscribe, share, create. You have infinite power.Welcome to your ultimate life, the podcast dedicated to you to create the ultimate life purpose, prosperity and joy and have more fun than anybody deserves to have. No, that's not true. You deserve to have all there is. What an amazing day. What an amazing opportunity.So I live in this place of purpose, prosperity and joy. And maybe you do too, and I love that if you do. So let's talk about who you are.There's so many things where people are talking to be their authentic selves, and authenticity gets thrown around this compass right there. There it is. A compass pointing to you, right where you really want to be and who you really want to. Who you really want to be and do.Are you familiar with the pirates, the Caribbean, Johnny Depp's character, right. And Captain Jack Sparrow? He had a compass and the compass pointed not to north, but it pointed to what you really, really desire. And it was.It was an artifact that went through several of the movies. And it wasn't a big deal in terms of getting made a big deal out of, but it was a little bit. And that English guy wanted it really bad.You know, it points directly to what you really want. Well, let's talk about that. Do you have a North Star? Do you. Do you know, like, if I.If I ask you or you ask yourself, you're honest, what do you really want? Are you able to answer that question? I don't know. Most people can't. And what I mean by that is I'll ask that. I ask that a lot as a coach.That's what we're doing. Like we talked in other episodes about what a coach is and so forth.A coach, my job as a coach, my work, my love, my choice, my joy, is to help you get what you want, help you figure out how to get what you truly want. And so first questions that I ask people is, hey, do you know what you want? And you're. You'll not be surprised at what the answers are.What do you think most people say? What would you say? Most people say, I need more money. Oh, I need more money. Right behind that and maybe equal to, oh, I just need more time.Another one right beside that is, I Need more freedom. I need to be free. Free to do what I want. I need freedom, okay? Time, money and freedom.Those are the things I hear most behind that is I need a better relationship. I need more. I need to be more connected with myself. I need to be more connected with my significant other, my wife or husband or partner.I need a better relationship with my kids. I want more love in my life. I need to be better connected with God. I need to find my true purpose. All of those things, unsurprisingly.And you know what's funny about that? People say those words, like, wistfully, oh, if I just had more money or time or freedom or any of the things I just said.Oh, but it's always a wistful expression, like, I know I can't really have that, but it sure would be nice if. Right. Maybe you felt like that. I bet you have, you know. Or you would say you want a thing, but you don't really believe you can have it.And you know what? You're right. You can't. You cannot have what you don't really believe you can get.And you can have, conversely, anything that you do believe you can get. I want you to think about that. What role does that belief piece have? Twice the question you know about what you really want and about.Are you asking permission to be who you really are? Most people know, and I bet you do, you know, right here, right now.You came to this world, this place, this frame, this mortality, whatever you want to call it, to do something, to be something. It wasn't random. It's not an accident. You didn't. It's not a cosmic joke. You're here with a purpose, with a reason.Most people do not know what that is. They cannot say it. And if they do, it's not really with any certainty. It's with. Well, I don't know. I think it's this.Now, I've met a few, you know, I'm one of them. But I used to be one of those. I really don't know.And I would make up some stuff, and often I would say things that sounded good or I thought sounded right or I thought I was supposed to say, you know, those kind of things. And maybe you do that, too. You say what you're supposed to do. Well, what if you are?The only thing you're supposed to do if there is a supposed to, is be the fullest, most beautiful, powerful version of yourself. Now, what does it mean to be a different version? Well, you have operating systems in your phone, right? I have an iPhone 16.I didn't upgrade to the 17 this year because I don't want to.I'll probably do the 18 when it comes available toward the end of 2026 here in a few more months, because it's already May, and so, you know, five or six months, it'll be time to upgrade the phone again. But there's an operating system version 15, 16, 17, 18, and then all of a sudden, they jumped to 26 with both the iPads and the iPhone.So what version of you are you?I have a client who I love dearly, who talks about the versions of herself, and she actually keeps track of them, and she has a process where she feels like she gets a major upgrade in her operating system, and so she keeps track of it. You know, version 20, version 30, version 40, that kind of stuff. So what version are you? Are you a powerful version? Are you a weak version?Are you a wistful version? What the hell are you? Do you even know?And are you asking permission to be Permission from the culture, from your family, from yourself, from timing, permission from fear, permission from circumstance? What if you don't need permission? What if you don't need anyone's agreement or permission to be any and everything you want?What if that's really true? Would you do it? Or are you scared of it? You know, you're called to do more than you are as you sit here, right here, right now.You know that that's not the problem. The difficulty, the struggle, or the problem, if you will, is that you are asking permission. Maybe you're waiting for certainty.I can't count the number of people that have said, if I just knew for sure what my mission was or my purpose. And often we say that because we expect, when we find it, that everything lines up like a magnetic field, zoop. And there's a straight path.It's like that path behind me, zooms straight into infinity. Everything lines up because I found my true purpose.No, what if your true purpose is designed to be hard, over pitfalls and rocks and struggles, with periods of joy and growth, but what if it's designed to be stretching and difficult? Now, I asked the AI to make this beautiful, exciting, colorful background because I thought it suited this topic. Often we're waiting for support.I can't do this because my family won't support me. Oh, I remember saying that. Oh, I don't have enough money. I don't have enough time. I'm waiting for the right season.You know what you don't lack calling you Lack decision. You lack choosing and moving. Now, you can get mad at me if you want, and that's okay. Here's why people keep waiting.Just see if any of this resonates with you. Waiting sometimes feels intelligent because I need to be sure. I don't want to waste time doing the wrong thing.I have had more than one client that said to me, well, I'm afraid to decide. What if I make a mistake? What if that's exactly right?What if experimenting and learning, overcoming errors, learning from setbacks and embracing trials as sacred teachers is exactly the path? What. What if the hills and valleys and rocks and cracks and broken glass and struggle is the point?So some people wait because they're, you know, they want to be sure. Some people feel like, well, I need to be responsible. I. I don't have infinite time and I don'. Have infinite money.So waiting until I have more certainty feels responsible. Certainty is earned. It is forged in the fire of experience. Hear that? Certainty is forged in the pain, the struggle, and the fire of effort.Waiting lets you preserve your identity without testing it. That's blood on the floor right there.It lets you preserve the story of who you are without getting in the game, on the field, on the battlefield, and testing it. Waiting protects you from visibility, from ridicule, from disappointment, from exposure, from the obligation that comes with becoming.Ooh, that's terrifying. Because once you have become, you cannot hide. Once you have declared, you cannot disappear.Well, you can, but it's not satisfying, hiding from exposure. If you're going to be all you are, you're going to be exposed. I want you to think about this.Let's say for a moment that you're created by the infinite intelligence of the universe. Call it God. Let's say you are created by God.God, the infinite intelligence that understands how to do things like create galaxies and stars and worlds and rain cycles and the complexities of atoms and molecules and stuff. That intelligence created you and me. But let's say that's true for a minute.Do you believe for one second that then it was a mistake, that you were created to be microscopic and small and not do much and just sort of snivel and shrivel your way through life? It's not true. I don't care what mountains or barriers you have to overcome.We write books and make movies and stories out of people who have the great challenges and overcome them. They might be physical challenges. Stephen Hawking was physically challenged and one of the most brilliant minds ever.So the idea that we have difficulties or challenges is intentional. So quit asking permission to be bright and to be light and to be great and to step into the gifts you have.Okay, here's something I know, and this was the genesis of my horrible dance with procrastination, okay? If I. As long as I stayed in preparation, I never had to face the fire and step into the life that I was capable of.Well, I've let that go now some years ago. But you know what? I waited a long time.I didn't start this journey of blood on the floor, walking over the coals, and being everything I could be until I was 52. So I waited a few decades doing all these things that I'm railing against right now. And all of that was perfect because it prepared me.So it wasn't too late for me at 52. It's not too late for you right this minute.So waiting for permission to be all of yourself, to be powerful, to be full, a beacon of light, a vessel of love, a conduit of power, to be the machinery that moves you, your message, your power, and your gifts forward. The Creator didn't create anyone to be tiny, to be insignificant. Every single person, including you and me, has a calling. They're all different.They're all important. And they will all stretch you to your.Each of us, not just you, but each of us will be stretched to our limits because that's the design characteristic. That's a design feature. It's not a flaw. So staying in preparation simply means you never face the life you're capable of.I faced that in a new way here. A few months ago. I'd been talking with myself about doing regular concerts and using the music that I have to lift and bless and serve.Now, about two, three years ago, I did one and it went okay. Then I did another one and I got zoom bombed.A bunch of people joined that I didn't know and showed a bunch of violent and screaming and noisy images. I sort of backed off, et cetera. And I was in preparation then for two more years.Now, three months ago, I started, and I'm doing one a month for the rest of the year, and I've done three. So that was a time, an example of staying in preparation way longer than I needed to. And now I'm joyfully moving forward. So this.This episode is about inviting you, right here, right now, to choose who you are and to take steps forward, to make it real powerfully, without apology. What if you knew right now, in your heart you didn't need anyone's permission to be great and you can define what great means.I'm not going to pin a label on you. By great, I mean the very best you could be. You don't need anyone's permission. You certainly don't need anyone's agreement.You need to make a choice and move into it. As a coach, that's my favorite thing in the world to do. Help people grab a hold of that truth.To realize and own the truth that they are loved, lovable and powerful. And that means you, right here, right now. To own the truth that you are divine.You were created by the intelligence of all things, the God of the universe. You were created to develop and express yourself fully. So here's a couple questions. What have you. What have you been calling patience or discernment?That's actually fear. A masquerade for fear. I want you to think about that. What have you been calling or labeling as timing? That's actually avoidance.There's a couple of scary questions for you to think about. All right, so I have a. I have a mission. And you know it. I've said it, shared it a lot. To reach 300 million people. That's just one piece of it.To meet. To reach 300 million people will reach him with what, you might ask. Well, the first several things. The first thing is a message.Like, the sun shines and it reaches us with its light. I'm a beacon of light, and so are you. I'm a vessel of love, and so are you. I'm a conduit of power, and so are you.Now, the light that I have is a message. W, I, P, O, S. What is that? It's an acronym. Whippos. Worth. Worth. Your worth is infinite. And you know what? If you don't believe, you don't.If you believe that you don't matter, or if you don't believe you matter, either one, you won't move. But when you become convinced and understand your worth, you do move. The second letter is I.If you don't decide who you are, you drift and you get pushed around by everyone else's feeling and thought, well, maybe you should do this or maybe you should do that. Or you go to an event, oh, I'm going to do that. Yeah. Yeah, that would be cool. You have to decide and own it and put a stake in the ground.If you don't own your possibility, if you can't imagine bigger, you won't build it. Most 90. Are you dreaming too small? I was going to say most people dream too small, but forget most people. You are. You Dreaming too small?Are you dreaming tiny? Or if you. If you speak big, does it feel like that? Wistful. Oh, if I could just have more. Is that it? Because your possibility is infinite.You're created by the infinite. You have every capability there is. And 99% of people are dabbling in the sandbox still and not putting a staking your claim. The fourth letter is O.Ownership. If you don't take responsibility, you own your life. You only live once. Yolo and people use that sometimes as an excuse to do crazy things.Fine, go do stuff.If you don't take ownership, if you don't take responsibility, nothing's going to change because there's no cavalry coming over the hill to create our lives. I finally learned that, and I'm having the time and ride of my life. S is sovereignty. WIPOs.If you don't architect your life, then life architects you. Circumstances do other people's whims, will and wishes architect you. Every single stuck person is stuck in one of those five things.Worth, identity, possibility, ownership, sovereignty. Every single stuck person. So ask yourself, where are you doubting your worth?Where are you undecided in your identity, like of who you really are as a divine infinite being? Where are you refusing to take ownership, which empowers you to create infinite power, infinite possibility.And this isn't a science fiction movie, you know.It has become more and more evident in science and study of all these things, you know, quantum mechanics and neuroplasticity and everything else, that there is a true principle that says that our thoughts create things. Our thoughts create our world. They really do. Whatever you think and believe you can achieve. Someone said that. And believe and achieve, right?Whatever a woman or a man thinks and believes they can achieve. If you think you can or think you can't, you're right. All of those things are not just platitudes to make us feel guilty or empowered.They're a statement of universal and infinite truth. Today, in 2026, as I record this, it's easier now than it's ever been to create amazing things. Why?Because of the tools and technology we have, the Internet, AI, the availability of stuff that used to be hard to get. I mean, imagine making breakfast 150 years ago. You had to have somebody do it, or you had to go, you know, out, milk the cow and harvest the wheat.I mean, it took a long time, just. Excuse me, just to do the food part today. It's like breathing. And you can buy good food instead of processed garbage.But don't get me started, that's a whole different episode. Where are you refusing to take ownership and blaming others, Externalities and circumstance.Please make a list and let's start ripping them down one by one. Radical ownership. Fierce life ownership. Because if we don't. If you don't own your life, you're giving it away.You're moving to somebody else's compass. Someone else's directional arrow is pointing where you go. Isn't that fun? I've got green on my sleeves and you can see right through my arm.Isn't that fun? Because of the green screen behind me. All right, so I want to talk for a minute about the cost of staying half baked.This is going to be really familiar with you if you're doing this, all right, if you are successful right now, you have a business and you're making good money, all right, let's say you're successful. Maybe you're making a half a mil a year, take it home. Or maybe a mil or two. It doesn't really matter. Are you happy?Because if you're successful but you're not focused on your purpose, you've already proved you can make money because you're rolling in dough. You've proved you can pay the bills and then some, you can take vacays, You've proved you can stay busy.You can go to island retreats and in Hawaii and, you know, the Caribbean, and you can do that. Is that fulfilling the true purpose of your soul? Now, I like to travel. My wife Joy loves to travel and we love doing that.We're going to London this summer and we're going to do some other trips, going also this summer to Vancouver island and going to have some great times. I have a question for you. The purpose. Are you anchored to a purpose?Because you've proved you can make money and stay busy and create wealth and power. You proved you're competent and you can look that way. You can have all that and still be unclaimed, listless, undecided. You know that.Look around the world and you see how many people are wealthy and bored, wealthy and dangerous. Wealthy and do stupid things, commit suicide, get, you know, drugs and picked up and their stories on the news like they're all over the place.Those are unclaimed people. And by claimed, I just simply mean you've chosen to lean into and live a purpose.A life can look successful and still be fundamentally underused, under, lived, under, fulfilled. Do you want to be that? I doubt it. I just don't think so. I think you want more. In fact, I'D be willing to bet money you want more. You feel it.And maybe you've had glimpses of your future self and you just can't look away. And so right now, I'm looking right in your eyes and talking to your soul. So here's three invitations for you.If you've already heard this message and you're living your ultimate life, you're riveted to a purpose and you're committed, I'd love to hear from you. So here's a. Oops. A URL YourUltimate Life podcast.com Please reach out and get a hold of me because I want to share your story. My.My mission to reach 300 million people is not just with my message, but with yours, with your story of determination, overcoming, and success. If you haven't reached that and you feel like I'm talking to you, use the same URL, get the contact form and reach out. Because I can help you.What does that mean?I can help you choose a purpose, write a book, create a program, make more money than you know what to do with, and be happy beyond your wildest dreams. Those things are possible because you have infinite capability. All right.I don't want you or anyone out there to live this sort of listless, chronically restless life. Why would we do that? You don't want to do it. Numbness, boredom. What am I here for? What's this about? I thought I had a bigger purpose.You do, you do, you do, and it's time to claim it. All right, so let's talk about now. We've talked about all the things that get in the way and the cost of this. Boredom and lack of commitment.So let's talk about something else. Here's what changes, and I can tell you this from lived experience. This is what changed in me.When I stopped asking permission and started acting from my own conviction. When I stopped looking for externalities to give me direction and started listening to my intuition and guidance full on.When I took full ownership when I lived Whippos, worth, identity, possibility, ownership, sovereignty. Here's what happened. I began speaking differently. People began paying attention. What did that mean? That means I began. I got asked to speak.I got asked to lift. I got asked to coach. I got asked to help people more and more because people would say to me, I need your certainty. How do I have that?And that's what I love to do. To show you how to get your own certainty, clarity, mission, vision, purpose, power. And create. Wealth and impact. Wealth and impact. And you know what?I've Discovered the biggest tool is that we can start with the most strategic way to make $100,000, for example. It's just a small amount of money is to mind the story of your own becoming like you are where you are with success and with the yearning to do more.Because you've lived a life of choice and power. You've lived a life overcoming errors, learning from setbacks, and looking at those difficulties and trials as sacred teachers.You've done that already and you've got where you are by doing it. Maybe you say, well, I haven't done enough or it hasn't been that big. I don't care. You have done it and your story needs to be told.So there's a URL here on the screen and it is dream buildwrite it.com right there. Dream build write it dot com. Okay, I'd like you to go there right now, dreambuildrite it dot com and sign up for the next challenge.I'll help you mine your life. Take ownership. Write a book if you want to. Create programs and services if you want to. To create purpose, prosperity and joy.To take fierce ownership. So here's some other things that happened when I stopped asking permission. I began choosing differently. I stopped second guessing myself.No more second guessing. No more wondering. Oh, I wonder if I that disappeared. Fear disappeared. Uncertainty disappeared.I stopped completely putting up with things in my life that were no longer okay. Here's a question for you. An interesting thought. Where in your life are you putting up with or tolerating things that you know are not right for you?I'm not talking about judging anybody else, but things you know don't match who you are. Maybe it's your environment. Maybe it's lack of clarity about your vision. Maybe it's lack of a plan.Maybe it's lack of some skills that you know you want to develop to fulfill your purpose. Maybe you're living tolerating an environment that is not conducive to to your growth.Often we are surrounded or we have surrounded ourselves with people who do not support us or people who are actively pulling you away because they can't stand your light. It's time to clean that up. Crystal clear vision is available. A bulletproof plan to go from here to there is just at your fingertip tips.Creating the skills to do whatever you want is available. Optimizing the environment that you have, cleaning up your associations and relationships. That's all doable. And if you want help, reach out.Because that's what I am, a grand master at I can help you. And last of all, mastering the psychology, the stories, the not good enough.The be deep beliefs, definitions, experiences, expectations and perceptions. The form a straight jacket around you. You know I can't do this, because what if that were all gone? Wouldn't that be fun?So I can help you do that, too. Here's something else I noticed. I stopped negotiating with my own power.I began believing and therefore creating all kinds of stuff I could barely imagine before. You know what else happened? I. Like I said, I tolerated less, but I began building more intentionally. Now people ask all the time how?I have written 24 books. I started writing in 2009.I had a divine intervention that completely changed my life and radically moved me in the new direction when I was 52 in 2007. Okay, in 2009, I began writing. Now, in the last 17 years, 9 to 26, I've written 24 books. And you know where they all come from? They're not magic.It is a documentation of what I have learned on this journey. You have learned things on your journey that need to be shared. I want them.I want to know the choices and power that you have created and want to create. And that's how you stop negotiating with your own power. Let me tell you something that else has happened, and it's captured by this phrase.The minute you stop waiting to be chosen, but start choosing, your life begins to organize. And that truth has been said by a lot of people, okay?The guy that climbed Mount Everest said, the minute you decide firmly, you firmly move in a direction heaven moves, too. All kinds of things start organizing themselves. There's a power in that decision, claiming of ownership.The guy that wrote Thoreau on Walden Pond, he said, when you definitely start moving in the direction of your dreams, you seem to cross an invisible threshold. Forces seem to organize themselves. Stuff starts happening around you.That phrase is an attempt to describe the power that underpins what people call the law of attraction, which isn't just sitting around and wishing, but it is visioning plus action. You can't say attraction without the action part, right? Because the energy of decision attracts resources. The energy of commitment brings power.Now, let me give you some examples of what happened to me that could happen to you right now. You could choose to use your life story as your guiding star and find your purpose.Every person that I've helped write a book, create programs, you know, find their purpose, and so forth, guess where it always comes from. It always comes from their life experience. It always comes from the path they've walked, right?The struggles they've had, the broken glass you've crawled over. That's where your power is because you've lived it. What else will happen when you start choosing? You will have the conversations you need to have.You'll be able to organize your life, your money, your commitment, your health, your wealth and your. Your spiritual connection. Your mindset, if you call it. You'll be able to make the ask. You'll be able to cut the excuses out.You'll be able to march forward boldly. Even if you can't imagine that right now, I want you to think about that.What would it mean if you were just bold and you moved without hesitation anymore? Wouldn't that be amazing? You can have it reach out to me. Whoops. YourUltimate Life podcast dot com. Your Ultimate Life podcast dot com.There's a contact form I want to hear from you. If you have a story to tell, I want to share it. And if you need help, let me do that.If you're ready to use your own life story and capture it and turn it into product services and passion. Dream Buildwright it.com okay, here's the thing. You don't need another sign.You don't need another conference or another book or another thing to show you from outside the power that you have. You just need to decide. So here's a couple questions for you to think about. Exactly what are you waiting for?Angels to come down and dance on the head of a pin? A bright white light that won't change your mind. It won't convince you. The only thing that gets things moving is a decision.And that the good news is nobody can do it for you. The other good news is nobody can prevent you from doing it. And the other good news is no one is coming. There is no cavalry.You own your life fully, completely and forever. You are sovereign. And the sad part, if there is one, is that most people are waiting and waiting and waiting and they don't ever take full ownership.That's why on deathbeds people say, well, I wish I would have spent more time with loved ones and done the things I really wanted to do. Nobody ever says, more time at the office. Grab your life and create it right now. Because when you do that, you can have purpose because you claim it.You can have prosperity because you create it. And you create it with the power that's already in you. The technology around us makes it easier than ever.What would happen if you decided today to take fierce ownership, to lay down the law and say, this is who I am. This is where I'm going and this is what I stand for in the world.Instead of just, well, I got to go to work and make some money so I can pay bills and then watch Netflix on the weekend. That never leads to fulfillment. You have the yearning inside. No matter how much success or money you have already created or had.You know what I'm talking about. It's lighting you on fire right this minute. The life that you want, the dream that's burning in your heart.It's right on the other side of a decision that you keep postponing. And if that makes you mad, I'm glad. Because I love you. I have seen your glory, your possibility. I invite you to choose it. Choose it. Okay.And if I can help you YourUltimate LifePodcast.com There's a contact form Remember, the life you're craving, the freedom, the purpose, the prosperity and joy is right on the other side of that decision that you keep circling and haven't chosen. I can promise you, if you boldly choose, nothing can keep you from creating and living your ultimate life. Right here, right now.Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you. Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.If you want to know more, go to kellenfluekegermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here. YourUltimate Life CA Subscribe Share Stand with your heart in the sky and your feet are on the ground ground.